View Full Version : How to tell my parents
jennibug
07-21-2006, 10:12 PM
I am pretty sure I'm gay but I dont know how to tell my parents. I also like to crossdress and I want to be a girl but I dont know how to tell them that either. Help me please!
Furred Goddess
07-21-2006, 10:42 PM
Oh wow, I had to talk a friend through this a month or so ago. I now call her Nikki, she wanted to tell her mom that she wanted to be a girl. I will tell you as I told her. Sit your mom down and tell her what you are going to say is very important and tell her. She may say something like it's her fault but don't let her guilt you, she did nothing wrong, you were just born in the wrong body. Instead of her losing a son, she should see it as gaining a daughter. Just remember, no matter what... be honest with you. You are the only person who has to live in your skin, so be happy in it. Welcome to the sisterhood my friend. **hugs**
jennibug
07-21-2006, 11:51 PM
I wish i could but my parents have always pictured me as their "strong boy" and all. Also what happens when i go back to school thios fall for my senior year? How do I deal with that? HELP!
I wish i could but my parents have always pictured me as their "strong boy" and all. Also what happens when i go back to school thios fall for my senior year? How do I deal with that? HELP!
Even though you would have to deal with your parents
sooner or later, You could always leave this page up
on your computer. Then your mom would find it.
But if it was one of my sons, and I have 3 of them.
I would want them to tell me, Like Furred Goddess said sit them down, or one of them down, and tell them. They just might suprise you! Love goes along way when it comes to your kids, trust me! I'm not sure about school, things have changed sense i've been in. I would think it would be more excepted now than it would have been in 78.
Doc.
Prepare yourself for the worst and hope for the best. Some parents won't understand and won't accept it. I really hope that's not the case for you. I'm not trying to scare you out of telling them, I just think you should be prepared. It might also help to join a support group. I'm sure they would have some good suggestions on how to talk to your parents. Good luck!
jennibug
07-22-2006, 02:09 AM
thanks for the advise, Im trying to build up the courage and im always wondering if people will accept.
baller16
07-22-2006, 02:12 AM
well about school, i don't think people will care if you're gay as long as you dont go throwing it in their face every day. but the crossdressing thing is a whole other story. i don't know if i would go publicly with that in school. telling your parents is one thing but senior year that coming out in school would not be a good thing for you.
Furred Goddess
07-22-2006, 05:15 AM
Well you can always talk to me if you just need a friendly sisterly shoulder. I have several Trangendered friends who are going through the same thing. The most important thing though is to do what is right for you. If you worry about making the transition in your senior year and fear what others will think then wait until after graduation. Your parents need to know though, my brother is just a regular crossdresser. He doesnt' want to be a girl but feels more comfortable dressed like one. He told my parents that they had two choices, either deal with his quirk or kick him out. My father nearly did but my mom demanded my brother stay. Parents are weird about their kids, sometimes they accept it right away, other times they just can not wrap their mind around it. Just know there are others like you, others who care and worry about you though they just met you. My private message box is always open to anything you want to say.
jennibug
07-23-2006, 03:28 AM
Do you guys/girls think it would be easier for me and my family to come out at bi then wait a few months then come out as gay then wait a few months then come out with the whole girl thing? so its less of a shock for them and it would be kinda of easier for me???
Furred Goddess
07-23-2006, 04:32 PM
Do you guys/girls think it would be easier for me and my family to come out at bi then wait a few months then come out as gay then wait a few months then come out with the whole girl thing? so its less of a shock for them and it would be kinda of easier for me??? Definately, transition can be easier to deal with than the sudden all at once shock.
Do you guys/girls think it would be easier for me and my family to come out at bi then wait a few months then come out as gay then wait a few months then come out with the whole girl thing? so its less of a shock for them and it would be kinda of easier for me???
Are you bi though? Either you're bi or gay. I wouldn't tell them that you're bi because you don't want to start your confession with a lie. But I think your idea in general is a good one.
Please don't lie, I hate it when my kids lie to me!
Just tell the truth and deal with it, You will be better off when it is all said and done.
Doc.
I've been "biting my tongue" on this ever since I first read this post, but I can't anymore. I'm going to throw out some advice that probably isn't going to be popular, but I feel pretty strongly about it anyway. I absolutely don't mean to offend anybody, but I think this needs to be said.
Jennibug, you're in a serious situation. Whatever you decide to do, please, PLEASE don't base your actions on advice you get from an anonymous message board on a porn site. I have no doubt that everyone that's commented so far has a sincere desire to help you, so I'm not attacking anyone's motives, or even their competency to offer general advice on a subject like this. But here's the thing: none of us knows you. None of us knows anything at all about your family situation, other than the handful of words you've written in this thread. Just as an example: we have no idea whether either of your parents is subject to violence. Is telling them, or telling them in an abrupt manner, likely to get the crap beaten out of you? We have NO IDEA, so we shouldn't be telling you what to do. What about their mental stability? I have a gay acquaintance whose mother, had she found out when he was in high school, would absolutely have had an emotional breakdown. I'm not saying that situation applies to you, but shouldn't a person advising you on this subject have at least some clue as to whether it would or wouldn't? I could go on and on about this, but hopefully I've made my point.
You have to get help with this, but that help isn't going to come off your computer monitor. School's starting back up very soon. I known your school has to have counselors who are specifically trained to help kids with situations like this. (They are, by the way, legally required to maintain confidentiality unless you tell them something about planning to commit a crime.) If you don't like any of your counsellors, maybe you've got a teacher or coach or heck, even an administrator you trust. Maybe some other adult you know and trust could help. Maybe you could even talk to a non-school mental health professional, but I imagine that might be a little harder to arrange without telling your parents something first. The point I'm trying to make is: talk to flesh and blood person who can advise you based on knowing (or getting to know) you.
Good luck with this. I sincerely hope that everything works out for you.
jennibug
07-25-2006, 03:04 AM
the only reason im posting in here is to help get some ideas and know that someone out there supports me and may even know what I'm going through. I'm not going to base my decision on stuff in this forum its just kind of helping me a little bit.
treesybreezyeasy
11-23-2007, 02:35 PM
hey jennibug. recently, i came out as gay myself. looking back, i wish i would have told people from the time i was 15. it;s difficult but it would have made my life, well not easier. bt less complicated
WickedGame
11-23-2007, 02:54 PM
Maybe showing up cross dressed will be obvious enough
thikdik
11-24-2007, 03:23 PM
Try leaving your Dildo in the sink with soapy water in the morning for them to find.they will figure it out.%-)
oldiegoody
11-24-2007, 06:34 PM
Have you thought about writing them a letter explaining things? That way they would have some time to think about it before you talked about it. You could include in the letter a request for their help in how to come out. It would show that you respect their opinion and still need them as parents. They might really surprise you and it would give them a little time to think about thins and talk it over betwene them.
Empress Lainie
11-26-2007, 09:57 PM
the only reason im posting in here is to help get some ideas and know that someone out there supports me and may even know what I'm going through. I'm not going to base my decision on stuff in this forum its just kind of helping me a little bit.
OK I dont know if you are even still on the forum. What got my attention just now is that you posted at the time I had my epiphany and began living my life as the woman I really am and have been unknown to me ALL my life.
You need to get involved with a transgender group for support. It helps tremendously for someone in your situation to get a TG counselor also. Here are links which will give you tons of information.
The why is best explained in Dr. Bushong's treatise at
www.transgendercare.com/guidance/multi.htm
Others:
www.teenwire.com/infocus/2006/if-20060425p435-transgender.php
http://youthresource.com/living/trans.htm
http://transproud.com\http://www.lauras-playground.com/teens.htm
http://health.discover.com/centers/teen/transgender/transgender.htm
www.annelawrence.com
tsroadmap@deepstealth.com/web/tsroadmap-com.htm
Goddess, I can't imagine doing the outward expression in high school. I taught at a middle school when I came out, and I was lucky. Our school district is 100% behind transpeople.
Empress Lainie
11-26-2007, 10:00 PM
One other poster made an excellent point, you know your parents better than anyone. But beware if they are excessively religious or belong to LDS or fundamentalist sects.
One thing I have learned is that you never know how a person will receive your revelation.
Getting medical help to make your body the way you want it is very important, and starting the change at your age is much easier than at an older age like me.
If you are still here and you read this I like Furred Goddess will be most happy to talk with you PM then on my email and webcam.
Isawred
02-23-2008, 04:30 AM
Let them read your post. Leave the room, house, city, county, state, country, planet, solar system, universe and any existing parallel universes if you feel you must but chances are they'll most likely either be really understanding or they'll stop contacting you.
furrychin
02-23-2008, 11:45 AM
I am pretty sure I'm gay but I dont know how to tell my parents. I also like to crossdress and I want to be a girl but I dont know how to tell them that either. Help me please!you need to find out for sure first
ImpyKim
02-26-2008, 03:17 PM
Whatever you do dont do what one of my oldest and best friends did - we got married! I knew he was gay before he did and was the only one he could talk to, we grew up in a little homophobic town where your neighbour knew what you had for breakfast and what time you pee'd that sort of thing! I was desperate to leave home and study away so we hatched a plan and got wed! Moved miles away and lived the lives we wanted! but at the end of the day you never get away from who you really are and he was always gonna have to come out to his family - it was tough but I was with him when he told his mum and she took it so well, he wished he had done it years ago instead of our fake hand holding at family occasions LOL His dad was tougher and didnt speak to him for a few years but came around in the end. We got divorced and were made to feel SOOOO guilty for lying to everyone - even lost friends over it and my parents will never let me forget the cost of that BIG white wedding!! so just be honest, chance is most likely they already know anyhow!! and know i have fucked up a second time AAAAHHH my family will never forgive me
bigbird
02-26-2008, 03:20 PM
can't understand the reasons for resurrecting this thread - almost 2 years after it was posted ?????:confused: :confused: :confused:
tenguy
02-26-2008, 03:41 PM
can't understand the reasons for resurrecting this thread - almost 2 years after it was posted ?????:confused: :confused: :confused:
Very perceptive, when I started reading it I thought it to be current. Isawred, what gives??
ImpyKim
02-26-2008, 04:20 PM
Very perceptive, when I started reading it I thought it to be current. Isawred, what gives??
SHOOT - I didnt even look at the posting date in the original! TOO TIRED!!!
69zackxx
02-26-2008, 07:11 PM
i kno this thread was 2nd to last b4 it was brought back to life, and jennibug doesnt even come on here anymore its jennr88 too she changes the name.
damainwalsh
02-26-2008, 09:46 PM
I think you should hire a singing male stripogram quartet to go to your folks while they're in church or their place of worship and perform for them in front of all their freinds and neighbours, that's what people usually do in the movies.......................what could possibly go wrong?;) :)
69zackxx
02-26-2008, 09:50 PM
I think you should hire a singing male stripogram quartet to go to your folks while they're in church or their place of worship and perform for them in front of all their freinds and neighbours, that's what people usually do in the movies.......................what could possibly go wrong?;) :)
just dont do that in an alabama church. lol that would be a dead shemale walking.lol
relax1166
02-26-2008, 11:30 PM
i would think it would be wise to tell mom first as dads can't always face the truth but as far as school i'd hold off till u get to college folks are more open minded
Empress Lainie
02-27-2008, 12:05 AM
MOOT POINT the OP made it in 2006.............
69zackxx
02-27-2008, 12:19 AM
i kno Z i've said that but kno one is getting the point
Empress Lainie
02-27-2008, 12:32 AM
i kno Z i've said that but kno one is getting the point
What can we do, happens all the time.
Bax 026
02-27-2008, 12:36 AM
I am pretty sure I'm gay but I dont know how to tell my parents. I also like to crossdress and I want to be a girl but I dont know how to tell them that either. Help me please!
I have the same problem. Not the cross dressing part but my parents still don't know I'm gay. You're not alone.
69zackxx
02-27-2008, 12:42 AM
I have the same problem. Not the cross dressing part but my parents still don't know I'm gay. You're not alone.
actually she is since she hasnt been on here for 2 fucking yrs!!!! lmao
:D