View Full Version : Three Dead Mice
J.A.W.
01-02-2007, 12:37 AM
EEEEK!!! A DEAD MOUSE!!!
Sorry folks, I meant to hang out here for a bit, but with a dead mouse there's no way.
ahem.
Three Dead Mice.
Three Dead Mice.
See How They Fail.
See How They Fail.
The First was old when it's left click broke.
The Second was borrowed with no downstroke.
The Third was bought new, but that was only a joke.
Those Three Dead Mice.
Three Dead Mice.
Nice story. You should write more.:kiss:
J.A.W.
01-02-2007, 08:37 PM
This isn't mine, and I considered posting it under "jokes not in Jokes Section," but it just seems to fit better here.
Abort, Retry, Ignore?
by Anonymous
Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, still I sat there doing spreadsheets.
Having reached the bottom line I took a floppy from the drawer
I then invoked the SAVE command and waited for the disk to store,
Only this and nothing more.
Deep into the monitor peering, long I sat there wond'ring, fearing.
Doubting, while the disk kept churning, turning yet to churn some more.
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token.
"Save!" I said, "You cursed mother! Save my data from before!"
One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more,
Just, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
Was this some occult illusion, some maniacal intrusion?
These were choices undesired, ones I'd never faced before.
Carefully I weighed the choices as the disk made impish noises.
The cursor flashed, insistent, waiting, baiting me to type some more.
Clearly I must press a key, choosing one and nothing more,
>From "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
With fingers pale and trembling, slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
Praying for some guarantee, timidly, I pressed a key.
But on the screen there still persisted words appearing as before.
Ghastly grim they blinked and taunted, haunted, as my patience wore,
Saying "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
I tried to catch the chips off guard, and pressed again, but twice as hard.
I pleaded with the cursed machine: I begged and cried and then I swore.
Now in mighty desperation, trying random combinations,
Still there came the incantation, just as senseless as before.
Cursor blinking, angrily winking, blinking nonsense as before.
Reading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted.
Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
And then I saw a dreadful sight: a lightning bolt cut through the night.
A gasp of horror overtook me, shook me to my very core.
The lightning zapped my previous data, lost and gone forevermore.
Not even, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
To this day I do not know the place to which lost data go.
What demonic nether world is wrought where lost data will be stored,
Beyond the reach of mortal souls, beyond the ether, into black holes?
But sure as there's C, Pascal, Lotus, Ashton-Tate and more,
You will be one day be left to wander, lost on some Plutonian shore,
Pleading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
chunky
01-02-2007, 11:29 PM
Edgar would turn in his premature grave.....:p
.......but a brilliant rework !
J.A.W.
01-03-2007, 11:29 PM
This one is mine (and unlike "Three Dead Mice" not based on reality):
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
A top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Four broken harddrives,
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Five viruses,
Four broken harddrives,
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Six miswired cables,
Five viruses,
Four broken harddrives,
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Seven buggy programs,
Six miswired cables,
Five viruses,
Four broken harddrives,
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Eight blocking firewalls,
Seven buggy programs,
Six miswired cables,
Five viruses,
Four broken harddrives,
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Nine DVD Zone Locks,
Eight blocking firewalls,
Seven buggy programs,
Six miswired cables,
Five viruses,
Four broken harddrives,
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Ten monitors with interferance,
Nine DVD Zone Locks,
Eight blocking firewalls,
Seven buggy programs,
Six miswired cables,
Five viruses,
Four broken harddrives,
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Eleven jammed printers,
Ten monitors with interferance,
Nine DVD Zone Locks,
Eight blocking firewalls,
Seven buggy programs,
Six miswired cables,
Five viruses,
Four broken harddrives,
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the twelvth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
A Mac.
(Yes, I know most of those problems have nothing to do with Mac vs. PC, but it's still a cute punch line, I'm a PC user BTW. OK, I may have seen the punchline elsewhere.)
Empress Lainie
01-04-2007, 09:13 AM
This one is mine (and unlike "Three Dead Mice" not based on reality):
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
A top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Four broken harddrives,
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Five viruses,
Four broken harddrives,
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Six miswired cables,
Five viruses,
Four broken harddrives,
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Seven buggy programs,
Six miswired cables,
Five viruses,
Four broken harddrives,
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Eight blocking firewalls,
Seven buggy programs,
Six miswired cables,
Five viruses,
Four broken harddrives,
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Nine DVD Zone Locks,
Eight blocking firewalls,
Seven buggy programs,
Six miswired cables,
Five viruses,
Four broken harddrives,
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Ten monitors with interferance,
Nine DVD Zone Locks,
Eight blocking firewalls,
Seven buggy programs,
Six miswired cables,
Five viruses,
Four broken harddrives,
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Eleven jammed printers,
Ten monitors with interferance,
Nine DVD Zone Locks,
Eight blocking firewalls,
Seven buggy programs,
Six miswired cables,
Five viruses,
Four broken harddrives,
Three dead mice,
No zone for high-speed,
And a top of the line, fully equipped PC.
On the twelvth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
A Mac.
(Yes, I know most of those problems have nothing to do with Mac vs. PC, but it's still a cute punch line, I'm a PC user BTW. OK, I may have seen the punchline elsewhere.)
Damn she is sure hard on computers. Reminds me of my sister.
maquelele
01-08-2007, 11:35 AM
very nice history
PinkyMinky
01-08-2007, 11:52 AM
nice :P
rich1234
01-08-2007, 03:51 PM
VERY nice :P lol
manimal145x
01-08-2007, 09:02 PM
haha nice