It was a dreary night, the rain pouring down, the wind sighing through the trees outside. Stephan didn’t like these kinds of evenings, he had to spend them alone and that always placed him in a melancholy mood. The knock on the door was quite unexpected. Who on earth would be out and about in a wash-out like this?

He opened his door and was quite shocked to find who would be out in an evening like this.

Lisa.

Her dark hair lay plastered against her forehead and hung in damp curls over her shoulders, the red jacket clung to her body, barely managing to cover more than the dark blue mini dress. Her heeled shoes mud streaked and from his view-point ruined, her mascara was running down her cheeks and made her look like a bad make-up job in a scary movie.

The look on her face though, that was one he had seen too many times by now. “Lisa? What on earth are you doing here?”

She practically fell into his arms, the shivering than wracked her body not really from the cold or her drenched body, the big sobs that tore from her throat only to muffle against his chest was the answer he needed.

“Jason huh?”

He helped her inside, out of the cold wind and closed the door behind her, locking out the cold and damp, bringing her broken sobs along as she clung to him like a shipwrecked sailor would cling to a bit of flotsam in the storm. Which in her case he was.

They met on a social media site, started chatting and after a few months met for coffee and that is almost where their relationship had stayed. For four years Stephan had watched Lisa go through a few rocky relationships and he always turned out to be her rebound guy. They never slept together, he was just the emotional trainer, the guy who got her back on her feet and incidentally back into the dating scene.

And now it seemed like it was that time again, just this time she seemed really torn up about it. Of course Stephan was worried that something worse than just a break up had happened, but as he managed to get her calmed down and started to help her out of her wet clothing, he noticed that it seemed like that was all that had happened. There was no mark on her, just the muddied feet and that he sorted by letting her stand under a warm cascade of water. It helped to warm her body again and it washed away all the residue of mud and make-up which stubbornly clung to her.

This was not the first time he had seen her naked and it was not the first time he used a fluffy towel to dry her off, nor blow out her hair, nor give her a shirt to slip on while he tossed her clothing in the tumble drier. It was the first time that she was so broken up about a guy though.

It was while they sat on the couch, a glass of wine, bowl filled with buttered popcorn and watching “Gone with the wind” that she told him what happened. It was a break up alright, but Jason didn’t even have the common decency to tell her before he got the new girl. She had to find out while they were both at the club across town. She had really thought Jason was the one, turned out that he was two, the Jason she knew and the Jason the other girl knew and they were both madly in love with him.

More tears flowed, so did more wine, they moved from classics to more modern movies, talked a little and finally she fell asleep. Which was to expected since she had walked across town in the pouring rain to get to his place and in heels that was no joke. The normality was there, this was how it always went, even when he managed to get up without waking her and carried her to the guest room, the way she snuggled up closer and asked, “Why can’t all guys be like you?”

It was normal.

And it fucking broke his heart.

After tucking her in and cleaning up, he went to bed, he lay there, staring up at the dark ceiling, listening to the falling rain, listening how the wind swept the drops against the window and felt even more melancholic than he had a few hours ago. He closed his eyes and drifted off to the land where none of that mattered.

When he opened his eyes, the wind had calmed down, the clouds were gone and he looked up into the sun touched countenance of the woman he had always loved. Her smile was small as she looked down at him.

“You’re something else you know that?”

This was new, usually by now she would be gone and come back later on to spend time with him. That way she could tell herself that her life was as it was before the break up.

“Why?”

Her smile was small and gentle, “You never showed me what I had all this time.”

OK colour him totally confused, “Lisa…what do you…”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

He gladly did.

And found that he was the rebound guy no more.

 

This story happens often in real life, but it doesn't always turn out the way it did in the ending here. I'm glad it did for the protagonist. Seems like Lisa finally came to her senses and made the right choice. Good work, DK.

 

It started a bit slow, then went through very familiar ground. I'm happy for Stephan.

 

Sometimes "happier ever after" does happen in the real world. People wake up and see something that was there all the time before yet never realized. Good job DK

 

The Good: This is a sweet story with a happy ending. It is good to see a person break out of the friend zone.

The Bad: The characters could be anyone. There is nothing that makes them into a person. No glimpse into their minds at all. Just a little peek can go a long way towards making a character seem real.

The Ugly: This story was very low impact. Very predictable from beginning to end. It needed something to punch it up. A laugh, a surprise, or a twist, something to make the reader pause and take a moment to absorb the story. The story is good it just doesn't stand out.

 

Broot called my story mediocre...man I feel like a million bucks!!

 

You know I know Broot is published and yes he can write a hell of a lot better than I, but this story *sigh* (hangs head) was and is me. I was and am that guy, the friend who understands, listens, is a sound board. The one who knows all but you couldn't pry anything out of with a crow bar. I know I haven't been writing long but I have been reading avidly for over 40 years now I have a hunger that I can never satisfy. Again Death you blew me out of the water (bows) Bravo, excuse me I need a napkin!

 

Great story. Loved the happy ending.

 

Like the ending, an overlooked romance found is always good.

 

If you liked this story, please consider voting for it in the KAW competition. The voting instructions are in the thread: https://forum.xnxx.com/threads/kaw-5-gone-in-a-flash-reading-voting-phase.395123/

 

I really liked the story , the writing was fantastic , you really brought me slap bang in to the tale , your descriptions were really great .

I really felt invested and could feel his pain in loving her and never getting his prize .

I'm sure this scenario is being played out in many places simultaneously worldwide and will play out until time immemorial ! Guys stuck in the friend zone, classic tale .

There is only one point that seemed not to lie right for me , if he didn't show her what she had all that time , and he did exactly the same thing , what made her see the light ?

Maybe a little something , like the way the light hit his face or how he cuddled her , just a little something for me and it would have been total perfection .

I loved the "And it broke his fucking heart " line was the most poignant for me , made the story right there .

Thanks for the hard work DK , really great story , good luck !! Luvs xx

 

Well done Death a old story well told, excluding the minor punctuation faults.
How do you get stuck in the friends zone? And not the panty zone. That info would help my life.

 

So very sweet. Was the end a little predictable? Given the 1000 word restriction, I guessed it at the end, but was not at all disappointed.

 

Absolutely wonderful stuff! I really felt sorry for the guy, permanently 'friend-zoned' and of course was hoping for the happy ending - which we got. Predictable? Perhaps, but no less a tremendous piece of writing. Bravo!

 

Best line so far in this KAW --

"And it fucking broke his heart."
​

I really felt that one. It pulled the whole story together. Moving out of the friend zone is a subject I've written about too, so I understood the characters and hoped for the ending.

This is a nice, light, compact romance. Good job.

 

-wipe a tear away-

Such praise... I feel so humbled...

 

Sweet and romantic.

The writing was good, I didn't see anything that took me out of the story. I love some of the phrases and terminology you have. Being from South Africa, gives your writing a fun new flavor for me. I wonder how many women out there have guys just like this, and are too blind, or too stubborn to see. Almost made me want Stephan to turn her down and wait for someone better.

One small little complaint. I didn't like the second paragraph answering the rhetorical question of the opening paragraph. Silly I know, but it seemed redundant.

Good solid entry here D.K.

 

Bump...