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  1. Samuel Smith

    Samuel Smith Sex Lover

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2013
    Messages:
    131
    Love at first fight

    The sun was shining high in the sky. The bright light was piercing through the canopy to hit an open clearing in the forest.


    Swords clashed. The two fighters grunted as they pushed each other and fell to the ground. The first to recover was a man dressed in black clothing. It was fit quite loosely around him to allow agile movement. He jumped and brought his sword down with his right hand on his fallen opponent.

    A shield rose to meet it. “Uhh” came female voice. The man in black backed away and walked around his opponent waiting for her to get up.

    “Get up, my love.” He said with a grin. The lady who was similarly dressed and similarly right handed stood up and charged.

    She lunged forward with her sword. The man stepped to his right to avoid the strike and swung his sword at hip level. The lady quickly dropped one knee to ground. The sword grazed the tip of the lady's long red hair. “You fight like a barber” she teased and speared him with her shoulder. He landed on his back with her on top of him. She lifted her head up to meet him eye to eye and gave a little wink and smile before rolling over. Soon, both were on their feet ready to have another round.


    He charged at her head on. She twisted towards the right to let him pass and get behind him. She aimed an upward strike from his lower back to his neck. His shirt was cut clean across the center without a single scratch on his back. “Want to play dirty, do you?” he said, cutting his sleeves to let the shirt fall to the ground and expose his lean athletic physique.

    “Why did you take your shirt off? Are things getting too hot for you? ” She teased him.

    “Don't think that you're the only one with tricks.” He said piercing her light brown eyes with his deep blue ones.

    He suddenly swung his left hand and let go of his shield which went flying towards her. And just as she bent forward to dodge it, he lunged with his sword driving it right between her breasts to the bottom of her shirt before ripping it open from the front. Her breasts danced as she steadied herself. With a smirk on her face, she said, “let's see how well you do with these two out on the loose.” She cut away the remainder of her shirt exposing her toned, lithe body.

    He swung his sword towards her left. She blocked it with her shield and attacked from her right. He turned his back to her and parried on his right. She gave him a push with her shield making him fall forward. With one swing of her sword, his pants ripped down the middle showing his tight butt.

    She took a step back giving him time to get up. As he stood up, the pant was still held up by his erect penis. “I see that you've added another sword to your collection.” She said, her cheeks turning slightly pink.

    “And I'm gonna stab you with it.” He said before pulling his pants off and throwing it at her. Her view was blocked for just a moment. But that and a couple of strokes with his sword were enough.


    Her pants fell to her feet, and his mouth fell on her pussy. He threw away his sword and grabbed her hips with both hands. The sharp yelp she gave because of the unanticipated attack turned into a soft moan as his tongue wrecked havoc. Her legs and hand shivered, refusing to support her anymore. Her weapons fell from her arms. He held her back and lowered her to the ground. His trusty right hand was soon working its magic on her pussy. His left hand had reached for her breast and pinched her right nipple. Her hands reached out to his dark black hair and held it place as wave after wave of pleasure hit her, and her juices flowed like a river during a storm.

    Expecting her to return the favor, he laid down on his back and opened his legs to let his testicles sag. His throbbing cock, whose foreskin had automatically retracted, stood shining in the daylight. She turned around and lay down on her stomach with her mouth near his cock. “That's a long sword you've got there.” He moaned as the tip entered her mouth and she a gave a small lick before ramming it deep within her throat. Her right hand held his cock while her left played with his balls. Just when he felt that he was about to shoot his load, she stopped sucking and gave a quick lick to his balls.

    He wanted to be in her now. “Come my love. It's time that I stabbed you” he said. She crawled on top of him and inserted his cock into her pussy. He caught her left breasts with his mouth and licked around the nipple. Holding her with both hands around the hip, he thrusted into her over and over again, first slowly, then faster and faster.

    Mouth was placed on mouth, and tongues latched together, sometimes separating to travel across other parts of the body. Teeth created light pressure marks around necks. Breasts were fumbled around with, nipples were licked and bitten. She reached her second orgasm, her pussy flexed rhythmically around his penis trying to pull out all its contents. Finally, with a loud grunt of satisfaction, he shot load after load of semen into her.

    As both their orgasms died out, she rolled over to his left. Her head was resting on his chest; her breasts hugging his stomach and her hand was playing around with his limp dick. “How are we going to get home without clothes?” she said.

    The end
     
    • Like Like x 6
    #1
  2. Norton X

    Norton X Oddball

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2013
    Messages:
    17,092
    Sword sparring practice that turned into sex. Hot! I'm probably not the only guy who has had similar fantasies. Good writing, Mr Smith.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    #2
  3. JayneyRedd

    JayneyRedd Porn Star

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2010
    Messages:
    11,979
    That's a good little read, well done. It is an interesting vignette, and it wouldn't surprise me if this picked up a few votes in the contest. There are a few minor mistakes (in the second paragraph for instance the word 'fit' should be 'fitted') and here and there the prose sounds a tad laboured but overall this is a tidy tale, light-hearted adventure and some brief but hot sex.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    #3
  4. Samuel Smith

    Samuel Smith Sex Lover

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2013
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    • Like Like x 3
    #4
  5. Redbeard1031

    Redbeard1031 Sex Machine

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2013
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    I never thought I would read a story about strip sword-people. This was a good story that was full of excitement.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    #5
  6. clarise

    clarise Precious princess Banned!

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
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    I really like this story like I said in the not-as-a-kaw version and I think it's good becuse its a really good story and I'll vote for it if I can figure out how.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    1. Samuel Smith
      Thanks again dear deer
       
      Samuel Smith, Nov 22, 2015
      wantsomefun likes this.
    #6
  7. stex

    stex Porn Star

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    I like this one. Original and hot.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    #7
  8. stex

    stex Porn Star

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    Voting instructions will be posted at 23:59 (Pacific time) tonight.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    #8
  9. tonybs

    tonybs Porn Star

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    Jun 22, 2015
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    Hot, good action. I liked it.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    #9
  10. stex

    stex Porn Star

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    • Like Like x 1
    #10
  11. Brootforce

    Brootforce Porn Star

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2013
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    The Good: Well written with good description of the fight. A hot sex scene adds to the story, and doesn't feel crow barred in.

    The Bad: There were a couple grammar and punctuation mistakes that hurt the flow. Periods where one didn't need to be. Stuff of that nature Here is an example.

    -“And I'm gonna stab you with it.” He said before pulling his pants off and throwing it at her.-

    Corrected

    “I'm gonna stab you with it,” he said, before pulling his pants off and throwing them at her.

    The Ugly: It is nearly impossible to cut a moving person's clothes off without injuring them. It is one of the devices used in fantasy and martial arts movies that falls along the lines of fighting at the top of one-hundred foot high bamboo poles. It just isn't realistic in any way. There is an old piece of advice, I'm not even sure who said it first but it has stuck with me. "It is easier for a reader to believe the impossible than the highly improbable." A reader can believe in magic because it isn't real, but he will never believe a man threw a knife and hit a tiny button on the far wall to stop the bomb from going off it is possble just highly improbable.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    1. Samuel Smith
      Thanks @Brootforce. I'm happy that most people liked the sex scene. I struggle to write them.
      And the sword stripping part was inspired from a Zorro movie where Antonio Bandares strips Catherine Zeta Jones.
       
      Samuel Smith, Nov 23, 2015
      wantsomefun likes this.
    2. Brootforce
      I thought the scene was unbelievable in that movie as well.
       
      Brootforce, Nov 23, 2015
      wantsomefun likes this.
    3. Samuel Smith
      Might be unbelievable. But it was a really fun scene, right?
       
      Samuel Smith, Nov 23, 2015
      wantsomefun likes this.
    4. Brootforce
      Note "The Good:" yes it is fun.
       
      Brootforce, Nov 23, 2015
      wantsomefun and Samuel Smith like this.
    #11
  12. 1 Toy Maker

    1 Toy Maker Kuns og Kram Smukke Love once found never lost

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2013
    Messages:
    28,189
    Did just didn't seem right, the improbability, spelling and grammar mistakes. I think it was written in a odd style?
     
    1. Samuel Smith
      It was typed into my phone, half asleep on an eight hour bus ride.
      I can't make excuses for the improbability though.
       
      Samuel Smith, Nov 26, 2015
      wantsomefun likes this.
    2. Norton X
      Odd style, eh? I like odd styles. :smug: :wacky: :D
       
      Norton X, Nov 26, 2015
      wantsomefun likes this.
    3. 1 Toy Maker
      Good job on the bus ride.
       
      1 Toy Maker, Nov 27, 2015
      Samuel Smith likes this.
    4. Samuel Smith
      Thank you
       
      Samuel Smith, Nov 28, 2015
    #12
  13. Little Miss K

    Little Miss K Porn Star

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2015
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    6,258
    Different and new!:geek:

    I instantly knew this was inspired by Zorro.:) The scene was improbable in the movie, as well as here... and I don't care, I like it!:woot: The fighting was easy to visualize, as was the sexy parts.

    A little more time with editing would have probably fixed the minor problems. This was original compared to everything else I read here, I wouldn't mind a few more swashbuckling sex stories!:happy:

    Great job Samuel!:D
     
    • Like Like x 3
    1. Samuel Smith
      Samuel Smith, Nov 29, 2015
      wantsomefun and Little Miss K like this.
    #13
  14. stex

    stex Porn Star

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    You have a theme for when you win a KAW, if you entered. (He says disappointed you didn't manage this one.)
     
    • Like Like x 1
    1. Little Miss K
      OUCH!!!:arghh:

      A sword thrust straight to my heart!:dead:
       
      Little Miss K, Nov 28, 2015
      wantsomefun likes this.
    #14
  15. ejls

    ejls Siren of the Seaway

    Joined:
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    You and your damn phone, Mr. Smith. I know that's one lesson you've learned.

    I found this to be very creative and a very good fight scene. You are setting the bar high for the next CAW.
     
    • Like Like x 4
    1. Samuel Smith
      I have certainly learnt my lesson. No more typing on the phone.
      Me? Set a high bar for CAW? It feels great to hear that from the legendary founder of CAW @ejls
       
      Samuel Smith, Nov 29, 2015
      wantsomefun, ejls and Little Miss K like this.
    #15
  16. wantsomefun

    wantsomefun Storyteller and Lover In XNXX Heaven

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    Ooh, I liked this one! Of course the sword-play was unrealistic -- every Zorro move was. Fencing is a graceful sport, but a sword fight is testosterone in motion. Buckling a swash probably wasn't as glamorous as the movies and TV would have us believe, but in the context of outlandish brief fiction, it worked well.

    Mr. Smith, use that phone as Tesla intended -- call someone and ask them to read your work before you submit. Write your CAW entry on a proper keyboard, taking the time to proof and edit. You'll be a contender.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    #16
  17. stex

    stex Porn Star

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    • Like Like x 1
    1. JayneyRedd
      Clarise well knows how to vote, intellectually she is at the very least the equal of any of us here, and probably superior to most (she certainly is mentally well out of my league) - she does like to toy with us though, much in the way a cat will toy with its prey before eventually dealing the fatal blow.
       
      JayneyRedd, Nov 29, 2015
      Samuel Smith likes this.
    #17
  18. stex

    stex Porn Star

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    One thing Samuel hasn't mentioned is he did have a proof reader. Unfortunately, the proof reader was me. I've said that no one wants me to be proof reader and this may prove that. I asked him not to mention that as it might have biased the voting in some manner.

    The text is better than it was when it got to me, and I even set my grammar checker on it. (Grammarian on a Mac, it catches a lot more errors than I ever could.)

    I did see that, unfortunately, my suggestion wasn't quite understood.

    I'd disagree with the correction. The sentence is spoken with a full stop (period) not a comma, and my teachers taught me that the punctuation inside quotes counts. So the "He" starts a sentence.

    Now whether "Quote." He ... disrupts the flow is another question, which I might agree with, but it can't be cured with a comma.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    1. Samuel Smith
      Hey @stex , if you hadn't proofread this, it may not have made it even to the 10th place. Thank you very much.
       
      Samuel Smith, Dec 1, 2015
      Norton X likes this.
    #18
  19. Brootforce

    Brootforce Porn Star

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2013
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    1,780
    You have to remember a period ends the idea. It does not carry over to the next sentence. With the punctuation you use the sentence after the quote is:

    He said before pulling his pants off and throwing it at her.​

    That sentence makes no sense. What did he say? A sentence has to stand on its own as a complete thought. There is an old school of thought that says the punctuation inside the quotes has no effect outside the quotes. That leads to some messy punctuation though.

    “And I'm gonna stab you with it.”, he said, before pulling his pants off and throwing them at her.​

    The comma after the quotation is perfectly acceptable. There is also the assumed comma school of thought.

    “And I'm gonna stab you with it.” he said, before pulling his pants off and throwing them at her.​

    Since the "h" in "he" is not capitalized the comma is assumed. The point is the "he said" must be part of the same sentence as the statement of his quote. There are many ways to do that, but the hard stop inside the quote has to be broken to do it.

    As for the word "And". It should never be used to start a sentence. It is a conjunction. Don't your remember the dancing train? "Conjunction junction, whats your function?" (Sorry, traumatic flashback there.) It is used to join two thoughts into one. As the first word in a sentence there is nothing to join. I usually don't worry if it is inside quotes because; let's face it, people actually talk that way.

    Punctuation can completely change the meaning of a sentence. Take the simple sentence; "A woman without her man is nothing". Punctuating it one way you get "A woman, without her man, is nothing." A different punctuation and you get "A woman; without her, man is nothing." Both of them are perfectly valid punctuations but the meaning of the sentence changes very drastically between the two.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2015
    1. 1 Toy Maker
      Okay ignorance is bliss as I see no difference in your three sentences.
       
      1 Toy Maker, Dec 1, 2015
    2. Brootforce
      Think of the punctuation as breaks in the flow.

      The first one has no breaks, read it in monotone cadence.

      A woman without her man is nothing​

      The second one breaks at the three commas, read it as three separate statements. Pause at the end of each line.

      A woman,
      without her man,
      is nothing.​

      The third on breaks different though, read it as a as subject, explained by two separate statements. Read it with a long pause after the first line, and a normal pause after the second.

      A woman;
      without her,
      man is nothing.​
       
      Brootforce, Dec 1, 2015
    3. 1 Toy Maker
      Still lost, could we just drop 'the without' in the second one?
       
      1 Toy Maker, Dec 2, 2015
    4. Brootforce
      No. but we could drop all but the last three words in the third one and most women would agree with it.
       
      Brootforce, Dec 2, 2015
    #19