He's a lucky pervert, to have such an understanding woman on his arm.

The suggestion about saying you'd "found the paper" was a good one I thought, it gives him room to come clean or not and you both to move forward from there.

M

 

When I talk to him I'm gonna tell him everything, snooping and all. He knows curiosity is one of my weak points. Once faced with what I found, and kept finding, I couldn't just stop looking for answers. I had to know for sure what was going on; and I just hope he can forgive the invasion. I love him and I want him to know that I will continue to do so.

 

I have had a Bi Sexual BF and it was great but something about this post doesnt seem right and Im sure it is BS

Assuming this is true, confronting him is the worse thing you could do. Better talk to him in general terms about your Bi Curious side and drop some hints that you find MM sex horny and would consider a 3some or some playing outside of your relationship and see where it goes

 

Show your tits

 

I don't plan on a confrontation. I plan on having a discussion like the adults we are. Neither one of us are arguing types. I'm gonna start with the discovery of the paper and take it from there.

And I'm not showing anything until we've had our conversation. Who knows we might start taking pics and making some vids (another fantasy of mine lol).

 

Maybe start out with something like asking him about prostate massage while you suck his cock...if he goes for it and likes it enough then tell him you have thought about using a strap on and see what he thinks

 

Come on i'll buy you a icecream

 

Fake or not, you do have to admit that it is snooping at the end of it. You are right to say that you didn't go out your way to go through his stuff and didn't originally plan to do it but saying "I couldn't stop looking after I saw" is still snooping. If I were to catch you looking through something that I didn't want you to look at, then I'm going to find that snooping and your bf would probably will as well just because it's ruining the trust.

 

Well I am pretty sure that if I can give him trust after what was uncovered then he can afford me the same courtesy. I didn't really go digging for it. It was right there. On my tablet. When I clicked on it at first I didn't even realize it was him signed in. I thought I was on my own email and was wondering wtf was I getting CL shit for. Then I read it and the entire thread that was attached. That is what I mean When I say that I followed the conversation. When I backed out I saw it was his email that's when I saw the xnxx screen name. I was just trying to check my email but he was signed in. I opened one email and read thread that was attached. That is how I know. I signed out right after I figured out what had happend. If you found stuff like that in your partner's email would you honestly not look? It was all a big accident, but I'm glad I found out. I am glad that I can offer myself as support for this part of his life that he has been hiding for so long. I only posted this thread to find out (mainly from other closeted, or formerly closeted, bi men) what I should do. If I should talk to him about it or drop hints and let him tell me. Through the honest, and nonjudgemental, help of a few such people I have my answer and found quite a bit of support.

 

Perhaps you should think about how crap he might feel, how embarrassed how guilty and then ask if those feelings and sticking that shit on him is what you really really want. Let the cat out like that and it is going to be there for ever and right now you have no idea how he is going to react or what emotions you Outing him is going to have.

Really some things are best let lie. There must be another way than this

 

Exactly this.

There's a reason why he didn't tell you and it's obvious, he just doesn't feel that comfortable to tell you, even despite the time spent in the relationship. Sure, it can even be seen as cheating because even though he never met any of those guys on CL, he still messaged different guys and masturbated as well, all behind your back. So in a way, both faults have happened in here between you and your bf. At the end of the day, regardless of how it happened, you found out what he has been doing and all you can do now is be straight up and tell him that you know. If you don't and your BF actually goes out and do something with a guy in person without telling you, then that's worst because that's from messaging other guys to actually having sex without you being told.

 

I have been letting things lie for months and it doesn't sit well with me. I have no intention of coming out and condemning him for his actions. Quite the opposite in fact. I plan to start with the papers and take it from there. I have no desire to belittle or berate him. I have a vested interest in this relationship and I intend to make it work. Starting with love, compassion, and honesty.

 

I do hope you will keep us updated as to how the conversation goes.

Who needs soap operas when you have real relationship schenanigans happening right here?! I for one will be tuning in tomorrow for my next fix.

M x

 

So when you baacked out, that's when you realized it was his email and that's when you saw the xnxx screen name? I had no idea that your bf was a member here, I don't think anyone else did too. You wouldn't have happened to notice if he received any messages from Jack Mine, subject line that read, YOUR GIRLFRIEND KNOWS YOU'RE A COCKSUCKER?

 

Jealous you're not the one getting sucked off?

 

Hello! Anybody home today?!!! Your brain is definitely not in.

Still love you though. X

 

Apparently I'm not like most women lol. And I had no clue this site existed until I saw it in the email. I always just watched whatever popped up on youporn or what have you. But I like it. I guess I'm a bit of a freak

 

Assuming that gay sex is unsafe just because it is gay sex is where you went wrong. Hetero people are just as likely to have unprotected sex and at just as much risk to catch an std. And if I thought he was going out and physically having sex with other people I wouldn't have let things lie for this long. Not that any of us can be 100% positive what our partners are doing every hour of everyday. I know plenty of women who are like "Well if you keep your man satisfied he won't look anywhere else." That is bullshit. We fuck or he gets a blowjob almost everyday. My ex-husband and I had sex sometimes 3 or 4 times a day, but he still strayed. For him though it was more about breaking The rule and being a dick than anything else. The way I look at it is messaging is basically like interactive and tailored to you porn. As long as it doesn't go beyond messaging until he and I have set up boundaries and maybe found someone else to bring into the relationship or another couple to get together with, then I am okay with it.

 

Just show your tits!!!!

 

Why complicate things? If your okay with that side of him....introduce a dildo into your play. Innocently explain it's for you and let him start handling it. Over a period of time let him get more "involved" with it....he gets to explore that side a bit with you involved.

If you decide from there you want to involve another actual male then it's easy to bridge that gap