XNXX Adult Forum Free Porn - Sex Stories - Porn Videos  
Go Back XNXX Adult Forum > Forum > Public > Sexuality
Forum rules Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

Thread: The fear of sex

  1. #1
    Porn Surfer goodgirl18's Avatar
    Join Date : Sep 2010
    Posts : 17

    Default The fear of sex

    Okay, so the first time is scary for everyone, I would imagine. But what about after that? I'm not a virgin, though I am inexperienced. I consider myself to have a fairly normal/high sex drive, and have no problem giving oral, however when it comes to having sex, I completely freeze up and have never found it it to be enjoyable. Any advice on how to get past this mentally, assuming that is what the problem is?
    goodgirl18 is offline Reply With Quote
  2. #2
    Porn Star unhappy_mudkip's Avatar
    Join Date : Apr 2008
    Location : A Cold Acre
    Posts : 2,704

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by goodgirl18 View Post
    Okay, so the first time is scary for everyone, I would imagine. But what about after that? I'm not a virgin, though I am inexperienced. I consider myself to have a fairly normal/high sex drive, and have no problem giving oral, however when it comes to having sex, I completely freeze up and have never found it it to be enjoyable. Any advice on how to get past this mentally, assuming that is what the problem is?
    You may want to consult a professional on this issue. While the readers here are more or less helpful with ideas, none of us are trained in ferreting out the cause. I do wish you the best, however.
    ---
    Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
    Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
    Instead, walk beside me as my friend.


    - Albert Camus

    Head over to Dracos_Fantasy's pic thread and help me convince her how hot & sexy she truly is! (updated 06-04-2011)
    Thanks to your comments, DF has gone all Nakey!


    -Made in Michigan, USA
    unhappy_mudkip is offline Reply With Quote
  3. #3
    Porno Junky jimbo98z's Avatar
    Join Date : Aug 2006
    Location : Raleigh, NC
    Age : 27
    Posts : 364

    Default

    ^Good call. Do NOT be ashamed to talk to a professional about any kinds of issues with sex.
    I love all sorts of piercings (nipple piercings are the best :drool: ) and can't get enough of girls squirting.

    I've got a couple piercings myself

    Feel free to chat with me!
    jimbo98z is offline Reply With Quote
  4. #4
    Porn Surfer goodgirl18's Avatar
    Join Date : Sep 2010
    Posts : 17

    Default

    I know that's the most obvious answer, I'm just so embarrassed about it to talk to anyone in person, but I need to get over that. Can I just talk to any kind of therapist/counselor, or are there people that help specifically with this kind of situation?
    goodgirl18 is offline Reply With Quote
  5. #5
    Porno Junky jimbo98z's Avatar
    Join Date : Aug 2006
    Location : Raleigh, NC
    Age : 27
    Posts : 364

    Default

    Go to your general practitioner (probably spelled that wrong?) and give him/her a basic run down of what's going on. They can give you a referral, and go from there. If you can't bring yourself to actually talk to a doctor about it initially, write it down, have the doctor read it, and schedule an appointment to get a referral to a counselor.

    And yes, there are counselors who specialize in sexual health and wellbeing.
    Last edited by jimbo98z; 10-04-2010 at 06:27 AM.
    I love all sorts of piercings (nipple piercings are the best :drool: ) and can't get enough of girls squirting.

    I've got a couple piercings myself

    Feel free to chat with me!
    jimbo98z is offline Reply With Quote
  6. #6
    Porn Star unhappy_mudkip's Avatar
    Join Date : Apr 2008
    Location : A Cold Acre
    Posts : 2,704

    Default

    ^Agreed. And yes, it can be embarrassing, but in the long run it will save you years of having an unfulfilled sex life. Sex should be enjoyed. It should never have to be a traumatic experience. You owe it to yourself
    ---
    Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
    Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
    Instead, walk beside me as my friend.


    - Albert Camus

    Head over to Dracos_Fantasy's pic thread and help me convince her how hot & sexy she truly is! (updated 06-04-2011)
    Thanks to your comments, DF has gone all Nakey!


    -Made in Michigan, USA
    unhappy_mudkip is offline Reply With Quote
  7. #7
    Porn Star
    Join Date : Feb 2009
    Location : Lower Mainland, BC
    Posts : 1,235

    Default

    I was a person who was ashamed of his sexual feelings. I did not speak to a professional about the problem when I was young, assuming my views on sex were too far out. They may well have been, but by not dealing with them as a young adult I believe I now have erectile dysfunction. Take the advice. It is important to catch issues early and get professional help.
    Charlie_creamer is offline Reply With Quote
  8. #8
    Porn Surfer goodgirl18's Avatar
    Join Date : Sep 2010
    Posts : 17

    Default

    Thank you guys, I really do appreciate the advice
    goodgirl18 is offline Reply With Quote
  9. #9
    Porno Junky 3210launch's Avatar
    Join Date : Jun 2010
    Location : Boston, MA
    Posts : 376

    Default

    It can also depend a lot on who you're having sex with. If you're in a long term relationship, and you really trust the person you're with, that will go a long way toward helping you feel more relaxed.
    3210launch is offline Reply With Quote
  10. #10
    Porn Star
    Join Date : Mar 2010
    Posts : 1,393

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by goodgirl18 View Post
    Thank you guys, I really do appreciate the advice
    With the right guy/girl you will come over this... intercourse is not innocent - you can "make" new life with it... so you are just subconsciously wise and cautious...

    I am sure that when the right partner will be willing and able to put enough effort into the "event", you will have no problem with "fear".

    If not - then it's something else and you should seek friendly or professional help like suggested.

    Goodbye




    Arvin is offline Reply With Quote
  11. #11
    Porn Surfer
    Join Date : Sep 2010
    Location : Portsmouth, UK
    Posts : 41

    Default Fear of Sex

    Some great advice here.

    If the above options seem a little daunting and you have the means, may I suggest a private sex therepist. Here in England, and I am sure most place in the world, there are private therepists who specialise in sexual matters.

    Don't worry, if you can't get a private consultation then the Gp and refferal is just as valid. Don't be worried about what you GP thinks, he/she will understand how hard your issue is for you and hopefully give you the support you need.

    All the best, Ash.
    Ashinports is offline Reply With Quote
  12. #12
    Porn Surfer
    Join Date : Sep 2010
    Location : Baltimore, MD
    Posts : 15

    Default

    Don't worry about it until you have fallen in love. If then you still can't enjoy sex with him then there could be a medical or psychological problem. Or maybe his technique is bad so be sure to offer suggestions that would make it better for you. In the mean time, don't allow yourself to feel pressured to do it when you don't want to - that alone could be the problem.
    DoMeTonightPls is offline Reply With Quote
  13. #13
    Banned!
    Join Date : Dec 2009
    Location : usa
    Posts : 2,177

    Default

    lol just have sex more often . thats what me an my brother did
    il-pam is offline Reply With Quote
  14. #14
    Porn Star
    Join Date : Aug 2010
    Location : California
    Posts : 3,445

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by il-pam View Post
    lol just have sex more often . thats what me an my brother did
    with each other?
    mt692007 is offline Reply With Quote
  15. #15
    Newcumer
    Join Date : May 2009
    Posts : 1

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by goodgirl18 View Post
    Okay, so the first time is scary for everyone, I would imagine. But what about after that? I'm not a virgin, though I am inexperienced. I consider myself to have a fairly normal/high sex drive, and have no problem giving oral, however when it comes to having sex, I completely freeze up and have never found it it to be enjoyable. Any advice on how to get past this mentally, assuming that is what the problem is?
    With all of the "things" that could happen, it seems "normal" to have anxiety about such personal things. Like, "What if the condom breaks?","Did I take my pill this morning?","Is my partner "clean"?"
    Those kind of questions are always lingering in the back of ones mind.Sex is fabulous! However it also can be very dangerous. If you are taking all the precautions available to you, and know about your partner as well, then relax, and enjoy those very special times.....
    dude4068 is offline Reply With Quote
  16. #16
    Porn Star
    Join Date : Feb 2011
    Location : United Kingdom
    Posts : 1,289

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by goodgirl18 View Post
    Okay, so the first time is scary for everyone, I would imagine. But what about after that? I'm not a virgin, though I am inexperienced. I consider myself to have a fairly normal/high sex drive, and have no problem giving oral, however when it comes to having sex, I completely freeze up and have never found it it to be enjoyable. Any advice on how to get past this mentally, assuming that is what the problem is?
    Do you enjoy getting oral? or masturbating?

    It could simply be that you're not getting any clitoral stimulation during intercourse, and this is important to most women.

    x74
    xiara74 is offline Reply With Quote
  17. #17
    Porn Surfer
    Join Date : Feb 2011
    Posts : 25

    Default

    A therapist would be a great resource in helping you in this matter. But it's not uncommon for people especially women to freeze up before or during sex. A lot of the time it comes down to a self image issue or a self confidence thing. Some times it's much worse and could have a history of abuse that's related to it. Only you know the whole truth about it.

    Do a little soul searching, try to remember what exactly makes you hesitant? Is it the nudity? the intimacy? the other person? the lack of experience? tons of questions you could ask yourself. Perhaps once you define the problem more, you'd be more able to resolve it.

    As someone else pointed out.. the partner you are with has a lot to do with it. Ideally during any encounter but especially during those experience building ones. You have to be comfortable with one another. Preferably he'd be willing to put your needs first and your concerns to rest with tentative care.

    Guys and gals run into women these days that never had an orgasm with someone and mainly due to comfort level and self confidence. Once they find someone that helps them open up a bit more, trustworthy and giving they tend to overcum that barrier. Granted this isn't true for everyone but it is for many. I had an ex gf that was like that. Once she got past that hurdle.. HOLY COW. lol

    best of luck with everything.
    quin76 is offline Reply With Quote
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »
Posting Rules
Posting Permissions
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
 

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
[VIDEO] code is On
HTML code is Off