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Thread: Poop: F.A.Q

  1. #1
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    Default Poop: F.A.Q

    Let's have a sensible conversation here people!

    We'll begin with the various types of poop.

    GHOST Poop: The kind where you feel the Poop come out, but there is no Poop in the toilet.

    CLEAN Poop: The kind where you Poop it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the paper.

    WET Poop: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels un-wiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with a stain.

    SECOND WAVE Poop: This happens when you're done Pooping and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to Poop some more.

    POP-A-VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD-Poop: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

    LINCOLN LOG Poop: The kind of Poop that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

    GASSEY Poop: It's so noisy, everyone within earshot giggles.

    DRINKER Poop: The kind of Poop you have the morning after a night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

    CORN Poop: (Self-explanatory)

    GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-Poop-Poop: The kind where you want to Poop, but all you do is set on the toilet and fart a few times.

    SPINAL TAP Poop: This is when it hurts so badly coming out you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

    WET CHEEKS Poop: (The Power Dump). The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

    LIQUID Poop: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

    MEXICAN Poop:It smells so badly that your nose burns.

    UPPER CLASS Poop: The kind of Poop that has no odor.

    THE SURPRISE Poop: You are not at the toilet because you think you are about to fart but...oops...

    Poop!!!

    THE DANGLING Poop: This Poop refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done Pooping it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.
    Last edited by Incubus; 06-07-2011 at 07:38 PM.
    I'm just saying.



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  2. #2
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    I think you covered all bases there.

    Edit. Just in.

    The VINDALOO POOP. The morning after a good curry, burns so much that you have to store the toilet paper in the fridge.
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  3. #3
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    Due to popular demand, here's more 'did you know? facts about poop:

    How does poop stay together, like in links?


    In humans, soft poop is really one long, mostly continuous sausage before it comes out. It gets its "link" look because we tend to pinch off lengths of it with the anal sphincter as the poop emerges. If a person pinches hard enough, the poop separates into several turd units. If the person doesn't pinch that hard, the turds may stay connected.
    If you can remain sufficiently relaxed, you can produce an awesomely long poop that will coil up inside the toilet.
    I'm just saying.



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    Thanks for ressurecting this. You left off the Elvis killer-close to the pop a vein in your head type.
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    Why is bird poop white?


    Unlike mammals, birds don't urinate. Their kidneys extract nitrogenous wastes from the bloodstream, but instead of excreting it as urea dissolved in urine as we do, they excrete it in the form of uric acid. Uric acid has a very low solubility in water, so it emerges as a white paste. This material, as well as the output of the intestines, emerges from the bird's cloaca. The cloaca is a multi-purpose hole for birds: their wastes come out of it, they have sex by putting their cloacas together, and females lay eggs out of it.
    I'm just saying.



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  8. #8
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    More types of poop you say? I'd be happy to oblige:


    • The Crowd Pleaser: This poop is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone.



    • Mood Enhancer: This poop occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, allowing you to be your old self again.



    • The Ritual: This poop occurs at the same time time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper



    • Guiness Book of Records Poop: A poop so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations



    • The Aftershock Poop: This poop has an odor so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is effected.



    • The Honeymoons Over Poop: This is any poop created in the presence of another person.



    • Groaner: Apoop so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance



    • Floater: Characterized by its floatability, this poop has been known to resurface after many flushes



    • Ranger: A poop which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper



    • Phantom Poop: This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit putting it there



    • Peek-a-boo-poop: Now you see it, now you don't. this poop is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control



    • The Bombshell: A poop that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to poop (i.e. during love making or a root canal) or you are nowhere near poopting facilities.



    • Snake Charmer: A long skinny poop which has managed to coil into a frightening position - usually harmless



    • Olympic Poop: This poop occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinkers poop.
    I'm just saying.



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    Thankz for share
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    I'm not here for love or lust - I'm only here for profit
    Quote Originally Posted by smcism
    Nice is for girls in frills and flounces
    who talk with a lisp and attend tea dances
    Nasty is for girls like me
    who don't just bend at the waist
    but also the knee
    To quote DPM 'Buh Bye'

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    I can't stop giggling at this thread!! XD
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    I'm just saying.



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  15. #15
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    lol this was amusing...dont forget:

    pellet poop - the kind that comes out in little balls similar to rabbits or deer
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    Default Stop it, people, please!

    I'm laughing so hard at this I'm about ready to poop myself!
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    The Bizarre Story of Adolf Hitler's Flatulence

    thesmartset.com — It may sound like a Woody Allen scenario, but medical historians are unanimous that Adolf was the victim of uncontrollable flatulence. Spasmodic stomach cramps, constipation and diarrhea, possibly the result of nervous tension, had been Hitler’s curse since childhood and only grew more severe as he aged



    2 Comments



    wordsncollisionOct 30, 2007



    As if the atmosphere in der Fuhrerbunker wasn't grim enough...







    axisofphilippeOct 30, 2007


    Hitler wasn't evil, just horribly gassy.
    I'm just saying.



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    I had one of those "Guinness World of Records" ones. Put it in a shoebox and took it to the local optometrist. He took a peek and said I needed to take it to the doctor. I said no his problem because every time I dropped one - it made my eyes water.
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    I'm just saying.



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    I'm not here for love or lust - I'm only here for profit
    Quote Originally Posted by smcism
    Nice is for girls in frills and flounces
    who talk with a lisp and attend tea dances
    Nasty is for girls like me
    who don't just bend at the waist
    but also the knee
    To quote DPM 'Buh Bye'

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    The rocket propelled poop: A poop that is holding back a fart so massive the when you release the poop the recoil actualy propelles you off the toilet.
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    OMG, this is hands down the funniest thing I've seen in ages!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by mrstennbabe View Post
    makes it complicated.. and its sorta awkward to be friends with a guy 1st then be like "umm..so.. I been thinking.. I wanna suck your cock" lol


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    thank you !
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    A piece of poop walks into a bar.

    The bartender is instantly offended and asks: What the fuck is this shit?


    I'm just saying.



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    I'm not here for love or lust - I'm only here for profit
    Quote Originally Posted by smcism
    Nice is for girls in frills and flounces
    who talk with a lisp and attend tea dances
    Nasty is for girls like me
    who don't just bend at the waist
    but also the knee
    To quote DPM 'Buh Bye'

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    Apparently all of the astronaut poop floating around in space has given satellites a smelly brown coating.

    And it's possible that when we self-destruct and wipe each other out that the very same astronaut poop could re-enter the atmosphere and start off a whole new evolutionary thread.

    The Poo people.
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    a lot of poopin going on in here
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    the..."guilty look into the toilet and thinking, I can't remember eating that?" poop
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    What's brown and smelly and sat steaming on the piano stool?


    Beethoven's last movement.
    ~ Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~

    If my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCALATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

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    Quote Originally Posted by scotsmitch2001 View Post
    the..."guilty look into the toilet and thinking, I can't remember eating that?" poop
    Where have you been?! I haven't heard from you in months!
    Michaela

    Created for me by scotsmitch:


    And as you blossom.
    Radiating in the glow of adulation,
    You show your flower.
    Spreading petals with a delicate touch
    Your nectar seeping
    As my tongue tastes you.
    Seeking and finding the sweet spot
    That makes your essence flow
    And as you arch
    As you close eyes
    A smile crosses your lips
    And i worship at the altar
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    It's Mr Hankey!



    step inside, walk this way
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    Here is the real poop on poop.
    Attached Images Attached Images
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    awesome
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    I'm not here for love or lust - I'm only here for profit
    Quote Originally Posted by smcism
    Nice is for girls in frills and flounces
    who talk with a lisp and attend tea dances
    Nasty is for girls like me
    who don't just bend at the waist
    but also the knee
    To quote DPM 'Buh Bye'

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  37. #37
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    What was that I was saying the other day.. about being reminded of the lunchroom from gradeschool.

    Yeah, this thread definitely doesn't remind me of that at all..
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    Quote Originally Posted by baller16 View Post
    What was that I was saying the other day.. about being reminded of the lunchroom from gradeschool.

    Yeah, this thread definitely doesn't remind me of that at all..
    shove it baller.

    go back to sucking at life.
    I'm just saying.



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    The other day I was sitting in the local having a pint when this nigger walks in with a handful of shit. Laughing hysterically, he says "Look what I almost stepped in!"
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    I'm not here for love or lust - I'm only here for profit
    Quote Originally Posted by smcism
    Nice is for girls in frills and flounces
    who talk with a lisp and attend tea dances
    Nasty is for girls like me
    who don't just bend at the waist
    but also the knee
    To quote DPM 'Buh Bye'

    level 5 - ''There are no more levels'' - {Ilion}
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