Sexual orientation :
Better than a Fantasy
What follows is true. Names and a few details have been changed to protect the innocent involved and to protect me from whatever statute of limitations that haven’t expired.
When I was 19 I enlisted in the Army. I had few other options. My parents, having 6 kids, hadn’t the resources to pay for college on my dad’s meager military pay. Back then, you could enlist with a choice of guarantees. You could choose between duty stations and MOS, (Military Occupational Specialty). I chose a specialty that would prepare me for a career path when my time in the service was done. While in school I met and became fast friends with a buddy who was from the Pacific Northwest. He was born and grew up in the shadow of Mt. Ranier. He had elected the Duty Station option and when our 17 week course was over he was assigned to a well known base very close to his childhood home. I thought I’d never see him again.
About 6 months later I had the opportunity for cross training in my job specialty and as fortune would have it that assignment took me to his duty station there in the Northwest. Though the weather was completely different from what I’d grown up with on the East coast, I quickly grew to love the climate. The geography reminded me of Alaska which my dad had been assigned to when I’d been a kid.
This assignment reunited me with my buddy, whom I will call Larry. We had a great time over the course of the following summer as he showed me all the Pacific Northwest had to offer. Larry’s parents still lived in the small town close to the majestic mountain that fell onto my vision from my window every morning. As it turned out, Larry’s father was, among other things, the mayor of that very small town in which they lived. They were also the proprietors of a small burger joint in that town. Larry and I would often frequent that place and even help out when things got busy. Larry’s girlfriend worked there, as did two of her sisters and other local teenagers.
One weekend, without much else to do, I drove out there to pass the time. I was also to meet up with Larry later in the day. When I arrived, Larry’s girlfriend, Melissa, was working with another local teenager who had yet to arrive. Melissa and Larry were high school sweethearts and were engaged to be married about 4 months hence, in September. I think back on this now and realize how very young we all were. Melissa was barely 19 and Larry and I had both just turned 20.
About an hour later, as I walked back into the shop after a trash run to the parking lot dumpster, I met and held open the door for the other local girl who was just arriving to help out Melissa. She had her school books under her arm and smiled at me as she brushed past me inside. She was the prettiest little thing I’d ever seen. Couldn’t have been more than 5’2” or weighed more than 90 pounds. She had unruly, dark, shoulder length hair. Being so small, her build was almost boyish. Tiny tits and slim but nice hips down to an ass that I swear I could have covered with one hand. But by far her best feature was her smile. She had electric blue eyes that burned into me whenever she looked my way. Her name was Paula. She smelled like lavender. I didn’t know how old she was but I was instantly smitten. She was still in high school, (evidenced by the books she’d carried in), and I was devastated to later learn that she was only 16. I had been making less than appropriate plans for the two of us when I found that out. For a very short time, my good sense won out over my biology. But only because I knew the Uniform Code of Military Justice would frown on my involvement with someone underage, notwithstanding the fact that we were barely more than 3 years apart.
As the summer went on, I took every opportunity to drive out to the burger joint to help out. My visits, just coincidentally, coincided with Paula’s schedule. Things between us were initially very responsible as neither of us wished to bring trouble into our young lives. Most days we were working there alone as I had committed to a part-time position as my military schedule would allow. And as the days passed we found that our good intentions and resistance were being worn down. Near the end of the summer we would boldly steal kisses in the back room when business was slow, which it always seemed to be outside of lunch hour in this truly one-horse town.
One overcast, rainy day we were there in that back room. I had lifted that tiny body onto the chest freezer there in that room. I was standing between her parted legs and we were kissing madly. My hands went to her tiny ass and pulled her into the rock hard lump at the front of my jeans. Now, this wasn’t the only time we’d found ourselves in this position. But it was always at this time in the proceedings that she would pull herself together, gather her senses and push me away. At the time I simply thought she was exercising better sense than I. During subsequent interludes however, she’d reluctantly push me away amid tears. I was naive enough to believe that these were simply tears of regret, that we couldn’t legally go any further without the potential for bringing real legal trouble into our lives. Finally, near the end of summer, she began to avoid me altogether. I was terribly conflicted. By now, I was sure that I was in love with her but didn’t know how to deal with the age dilemma. I was grateful that she’d apparently had the strength that I didn’t have to deny ourselves what we both wanted. We reached a point where I hardly saw her at all. When I inquired of Melissa as to her whereabouts, her reply was simply that Paula had “trouble at home”. I was sure this was just the formula excuse Paula had concocted to stay clear of me. Though Melissa was 19 and Paula 16, they were good friends who’d grown up only houses apart that their parents still lived in.
September arrived. Larry had asked me to be his best man and I was honored to accept. The night of the groom’s dinner I happened to look up from my place at the table into the eyes of Paula. I hadn’t seen her for almost a month and she took my breath away. She had a pained smile on her face, almost a look of sorrow. I didn’t take my eyes off her all night. I was in love in a big way. I was forced back into reality when her parents collected her and they left the restaurant. As the night’s festivities ended, and as I prepared to leave for my 40 minute drive back to my barracks, Larry approached me.
“Look”, he said, “Melissa’s parents have an Airstream trailer parked in their driveway and her dad says you can stay there tonight if you’d rather not make that long drive back in the rain.”
That sounded good to me. I’d always admired those units, their stainless steel skins and promise of rich interior appointments. And any night spent outside of the austere surroundings of the barracks was a bonus. I happily accepted.
Larry dropped me off and showed me into the place. The sun had just set and it was getting dark.
“They don’t have the electricity hooked up but the toilet works if you need it”, Larry said. I didn’t mind at all. The inside was as comfortable as I’d expected it to be. Melissa’s mother had spread out a sleeping bag for me on the expanded couch. One of those big, warm fluffy things. I was going to be very comfortable.
Larry left, amidst a now incessant rainfall. I stripped down to my boxers and crawled into the cool surroundings of the sleeping bag. The rain on the roof, the breeze through the slightly open window made for great sleeping conditions and soon I was soundly asleep.
I’d been unconscious for about an hour when I awoke to the noise of the trailer door opening. It was almost pitch dark in there and, laying on my stomach, looked back under my arm to try to see who was coming in. From somewhere on the house, a security light broke through a slit in one of the windows but I still wasn’t sure. But in with the stranger came the distinct fragrance of lavender. It was Paula! Could it be? My internal dialogue reasoned it out. She lived just down the street from Melissa after all. Had her resistance eroded? Had she given in after our eyes met at dinner?
I was now faced with the most difficult decision of my young life. I knew that spending the night with her there could have the potential of committing me to many, many years in Leavenworth prison if we were caught. Here I was again, with my good sense wrestling with my biology. At barely 20 years old. I was not possessed of much wisdom.
I pretending to be asleep as she approached. It was so dark I could open my eyes and still not see her but my eyes were glued shut. In those few moments my hormonally charged rationale reasoned out that if I pretending to be asleep I could always claim innocence of any illegal act if we were caught. I know, stupid. Young and stupid. And horny.
I lay frozen there in the sleeping bag, only my legs covered at the time. I might even have tossed in a few faked snores. Paula came to the side of the bed and sat down on the edge. With one hand she began to softly stroke my back. Her cool hands were like heaven on my skin as she alternated between caressing my muscles and tracing trails down the full length of my back with her fingernails. Then she moved down slightly and poured the same attention to the backs of my thighs, subtly avoiding my backside but only barely. She was driving me crazy and I’m sure more than a few moans escaped my lips. She seemed content that I lay there in my faked slumber as she administered to me. Finally, with one long motion, she raked her nails over my left thigh, across my ass and up my back. At the same time she changed her position to lay atop me. She was plastered to my back and I could feel the heat of her body on my skin. She placed tiny dry kisses on my neck.
Bringing her mouth to my ear she spoke to me in a barely audible coarse whisper, “I want you”, she said. “I won’t ever tell”.
The whisper in my ear caused me to shiver and I rolled over, no longer faking sleep and I held her close to me. Though I didn’t think it possible, the lavender in her hair aroused me even further. She gently ground her pelvis against my now barely contained throbbing cock. I wanted to see those beautiful eyes but as I reached for the flashlight that had been left for me she pulled my hand back and placed it on her breast. It was still contained in her bra and covered by a thin sweater but I could still feel her erect nipple. As I massaged it she moaned. God, it was dark in here. But there in that darkness, with the rain drumming on the roof of the Airstream, I was in heaven and the world outside didn’t exist. I pulled the sweater over her head and she had her bra off in an instant. She pressed her tiny breasts against my chest. I swear those nipples were like bullets. We lay like that for a few minutes with her face in my neck as I caressed her back and her still jeans-clad ass. My aching cock was covered by the heat of her crotch. After a moment she rolled off me so that she was between me and the wall. I heard her unbuckle her belt and lift her hips as she peeled off her jeans. I heard them hit the floor somewhere in the darkness as she snuggled back into me, spooning me with her petite body. That naked, young skin was wonderful. It smelled wonderful. It tasted wonderful.
I surrounded her tiny frame with my arms, kissing her neck and shoulders. My cock lay in the soft cradle of her ass cheeks and she pressed back against me. From her whimpers of pleasure I could tell that she knew she was enjoying teasing me. My hand left her breast and I snaked a trail down over her flat belly towards her pubic mound. I was surprised to find very little wispy hair there and no stubble, so she hadn’t shaved. Obviously, she wasn’t as far into puberty as she acted. My hand covered her pussy and my fingers traced the outline of her labia, ever lower. Also much to my surprise, she was sopping wet. Her moistness covered even the tops of her thighs. My finger traveled over her now very swollen clit and then into the tightest pussy I’ve ever touched, before or since. She was incredibly tiny and her wetness clenched my finger like a vise. Now, I’m not incredibly hung but I do have better-than-average girth. I’m thinking I’ll never be able to enjoy being inside her because she was so small. That led to a conflict of emotions. On one hand I was disappointed. On the other, I knew that if I couldn’t get inside her, well, that had the effect of limiting the amount of trouble we could get into.
As if she’d read my mind, she shifted away from my upper body, reached back for my cock, slightly opened her legs a bit and placed the head of my cock at the opening of her pussy. And then, as impossible as it seemed, she steadily drove back against me, my cock disappearing into the depths of her womb. The wetness was incredible and I can’t begin to adequately describe the sensation. The walls of her pussy clamped on me like nothing I’d ever felt. Her natural wetness was the only reason it wasn’t a painful experience for either one of us. She moved on my cock with urgency. I had to hold her in a bear hug a time or two to keep from coming too soon. It was almost impossible. Once, after I’d stopped her hips, she pulled my cock out of her and in the darkness I could feel her change her position. She pushed me onto my back and lay atop me, 69-style. I immediately felt her warm mouth on my cock as she devoured me. It wasn’t the best blowjob I’d ever had but I knew she had limited experience. She knew not to ignore my balls, however, and I enjoyed her mouth immensely. With her parted pussy before me, (even though I couldn’t see it I knew it was there), I wanted to reciprocate. But she was so tiny it rested on my chest and nowhere near my mouth. Every time I tried to pull her hips toward my mouth she moaned in protest and refused to release my cock from her mouth.
“Well”, I thought, “if the price I have to pay for this is a prolonged cocksucking I guess I can live with it”. When I felt she was ready to change positions I pulled her to my mouth and tasted what I knew was going to be a sweet tasting pussy. My tongue plunged into her and she writhed against me. She must have been on the edge all night because when my tongue met her clit she let out a small squeal and I could feel her stuff the sleeping bag into her mouth. Her ass and thigh muscles tightened under my hands and in moments she was spasming against my tongue, She drove her pussy into my drenched face and shook for what seemed like 10 minutes. I thought she was wet before. Now I was seriously worried about drowning! When she could take no more, she mercifully lifted off my face. I could breathe again!
Again she was moving downward and I thought her plan was to finish me off with more oral. But she slid down my torso until our hips met and, locating my cock in the darkness, maneuvered me into her pussy in the classic “reverse cowgirl” position. This wasn’t good. I was never going to last. I loved this position more than any other. I quickly discovered that the main reason I had always loved it in the past was because I enjoyed the sight of watching a girl’s ass as she fucked herself on my cock. But I couldn’t see! Still, the pleasure was sensational and she fucked herself on me with great enthusiasm. I was missing the visual but satisfied myself with the imagined image of my cock being driven into that tiny, almost hairless, relentless pussy. In my minds eye, at least, my cock looked huge!
You know that point you reach when you decide that even if the world was ending outside your window it wasn’t going to stop you from coming? Well, I was there. I couldn’t resist that hot, wet, tightness anymore. My hips met her thrusts until I exploded inside her. My head spun as I poured ropes of cum inside her. She lay on my legs, motionless in the aftermath for a few minutes, my 20 year old cock still hard inside her. After awhile she lifted off me and turned. She surprised me when she took me into her mouth again and gently sucked on me like I was a lollipop she’d long waited for. I was surprised that someone so young wasn’t averse to the taste of our mixed fluids. I wanted to pull her up to hold her but she resisted and was content to continue to softly administer to me with her tongue.
Somehow, the length of the long day was on me. I relaxed there listening to the sound of the rain on the roof of that aluminum paradise and eventually sleep took me. Yep, I actually fell asleep while my cock was in the mouth of a teenage girl.
I don’t know how much time had gone by when I awoke. I thought I had heard something but it wasn’t there now. Paula’s head was resting on my thigh, her hand over my now flaccid cock and I could feel her breath on my balls. My hand rested on her tiny ass.
Now I definitely heard another sound. It was from outside the trailer and sounded like a door from the house.
A female voice called; “Linda!” She called again. Initially relieved, I began to fear that the owner of that voice might venture to the trailer in her search. I squeezed one of Paula’s ass cheeks and she stirred awake. The voice called again and suddenly the form beside me was in motion. She leaped from the bed and began a frantic search for her clothes.
“Oh my God, oh my God”, she was whimpering as she stumbled around.
“Linda?” I thought as I bolted upright. “Linda!?” I reached for the flashlight and when I turned it on I was staring into the face of the Bride-to-be’s younger sister! My God, how old is she? My brain was too dulled to do the math. But it finally hit me that I’d just fucked the younger sister of the Bride and from past conversations at the burger joint I knew she was a grade in school behind Paula!
I was struck dumb. I couldn’t speak as I watched her snatch the flashlight from me. At one point, still half naked she swam over me to retrieve her bra.
“You, you smell like Paula”, I stammered.
“Yeah, we use the same shampoo”, she said. I collapsed back onto the sleeping bag.
“I’m dead”, I thought. As she frantically assembled herself, I flashed on an image of me breaking rocks in Leavenworth.
The voice outside was growing more incessant now and getting closer to the trailer. Just before she dashed out to meet her mother, Linda leaned over, kissed me and said,
“Thanks for being my first”.
“Jesus’, I thought, “I’m going to prison forever”.
Over the next 10 seconds, many courses of action occurred to me. It wasn’t lost to me that the Canadian border was a short drive away. I lay there with the shakes for almost 2 hours until I couldn’t stay there anymore. I drove away in the darkness.
You ever see those home videos of Grooms passing out at the altar? They fall like Redwood trees. That was almost me when, during the wedding ceremony, Linda smiled at me from her position as one of the bridesmaids. She looked even younger in that hideous dress.
This happened over 40 years ago. I never saw or heard from Linda or Paula again. My time in the service took me to other duty stations. I often wondered what had become of Paula and whether Linda had made things worse by sharing our night together with her.
Much later, I was told about a tragedy involving Paula and her family. I was startled by the news that Paula had killed her father. As Melissa held forth on all the details the pieces began to fall into place. From a very early age, Paula had been molested by her father. He frightened her into keeping the secret until she was in her early 20’s, which was when he finally and reluctantly allowed her to leave home. The night she was to depart an argument ensued as he attempted to force himself on her one last time. She calmly excused herself and after locating the family shotgun, emptied it into her father. She was not convicted. I learned the origin of her sadness and why she always regretfully but kindly curtailed our sexual explorations. Her father had taught her to believe that she was only for him and that he’d threatened to kill anyone else who dared to touch her. She most probably saved my life. Ironically, Linda's own expertise had come from listening to Paula's descriptions of the things her father had made her do as Linda had been her only confidant. If Linda ever told anyone about our night in the Airstream I never heard about it. It's a hell of a memory though.
I apologize for the “downer” ending but we don’t all have lives like those depicted in Penthouse Forum. And, in the end, reality is always sweeter than fantasy.