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  1. #1
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    Default UK dog owners to pay to have dogs chipped!

    All Dog owner are to pay to have their dogs chipped ( because this moronic Government think we are all Idiots and breed dangerous dogs ) whats the betting that the Dangerous Owners who do breed Dangerous will just stick two fingers up and say Fu*k u!!! they`ll be taxing fresh air next!!
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  2. #2
    Porn Fairy's Apprentice PatronofPorn's Avatar
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    If you owned and loved your dog(s), why wouldn't you already have them chipped if they ever got lost anyway?

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  3. #3
    Porn Star CFH420's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by drew52 View Post
    All Dog owner are to pay to have their dogs chipped ( because this moronic Government think we are all Idiots and breed dangerous dogs ) whats the betting that the Dangerous Owners who do breed Dangerous will just stick two fingers up and say Fu*k u!!! they`ll be taxing fresh air next!!

    Is it mandatory? If so, thats fuckin horseshit...but then again thats what happens when you give up your right to own a gun, you are at the mercy of your government.

    I'd never chip my dog, thats not natural, be afraid when they want to put them inside of you.
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  4. #4
    The Curly Wurly Man richief's Avatar
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    Quit fucking moaning, I can remember when you needed a licence to own a dog.
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  5. #5
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    Firstly I wouldn`t mind paying for it if it would go to stop people having/breeding dangerous dogs, but it wont! secondly my dog is well trained! and I pick up its mess no matter where I am, In my view its just another way of taxing!
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  6. #6
    Porn Star CFH420's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by drew52 View Post
    Firstly I wouldn`t mind paying for it if it would go to stop people having/breeding dangerous dogs, but it wont! secondly my dog is well trained! and I pick up its mess no matter where I am, In my view its just another way of taxing!

    So I'm assuming its mandatory then...what happens if you say NO?
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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatronofPorn View Post
    If you owned and loved your dog(s), why wouldn't you already have them chipped if they ever got lost anyway?

    That's not the point. Some people just don't want to live in a totalitarian society where they're constantly being told what to do, even if a super smart, compassionate government bureaucrat has determined that it's for their own good.
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  8. #8
    Share-Man of the Board umpire2's Avatar
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    I'm intrigued.

    Do you have to have your dogs "fished", too?
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  9. #9
    Registered Self Abuser WhaWhaWha's Avatar
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    It's all true. And quite valid. I heard it from the Ministry of Housinge.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------

    **** The Fish License Sketch ****
    **** Transcribed 4/18/87 from Monty Python's Previous Record ****
    **** by Jonathan Partington ****


    Man (Cleese): (whistles a bit, then) Hello. I would like to buy a fish licence, please.
    Postal clerk (Palin): A what?

    Man: A licence for my pet fish, Eric.
    Clerk: How did you know my name was Eric?

    Man: No, no, no! My fish's name is Eric. Eric the fish. He's an halibut.
    Clerk: What?

    Man: He is an halibut.
    Clerk: You've got a pet halibut?

    Man: Yes, I chose him out of thousands. I didn't like the others, they were all too flat.
    Clerk: You must be a loony.

    Man: I am not a loony. Why should I be tarred with the epithet 'loony' merely because I have a pet halibut? I've heard tell that Sir Gerald Nabarro has a pet prawn called Simon - you wouldn't call him a loony! Furthermore Dawn Pathorpe, the lady showjumper, had a clam called Stafford, after the late chancellor. Alan Bullock has two pikes, both called Chris, and Marcel Proust had an 'addock! So if you're calling the author of 'A la recherche de temps perdu' a loony, I shall have to ask you to step outside!
    Clerk: All right, all right, all right. A licence?

    Man: Yes!
    Clerk: For a fish.

    Man: Yes!
    Clerk: You *are* a loony.

    Man: Look, it's a bleeding pet, isn't it? I've got a licence for me pet dog
    Eric, I've got a licence for me pet cat Eric.

    Clerk: You don't need a licence for your cat.
    Man: I bleedin' well do and I've got one! Can't be caught out there!

    Clerk: There is no such thing as a bloody Cat Licence.
    Man: Yes there is.

    Clerk: No there isn't.
    Man: Is!

    Clerk: Isn't!
    Man: I've bleedin' got one, look! What's that then?

    Clerk: This is a dog licence with the word 'dog' crossed out and 'cat' written in in crayon.
    Man: Man didn't have the right form.

    Clerk: What man?
    Man: The man from the cat detector van.

    Clerk: The loony detector van, you mean.
    Man: Look, it's people like you what cause unrest.

    Clerk: What cat detector van?
    Man: The cat detector van from the Ministry of Housinge.

    Clerk: Housinge?
    Man: It was spelt like that on the van. I'm very observant. I never seen so many bleedin' aerials. The man said their equipment could pinpoint a purr at four hundred yards, and Eric being such a happy cat was a piece of cake.
    Clerk: How much did you pay for this?

    Man: Sixty quid and eight for the fruit-bat.
    Clerk: What fruit-bat?

    Man: Eric the fruit-bat.
    Clerk: Are all your pets called Eric?

    Man: There's nothing so odd about that. Kemel Attaturk had an entire menagerie called Abdul.
    Clerk: No he didn't.

    Man: Did!
    Clerk: Didn't!
    Man: Did, did, did, did, did and did!
    Clerk: Oh all right.

    Man: Spoken like a gentleman, sir. Now, are you going to give me a fish licence?
    Clerk: I promise you that there is no such thing. You don't need one.

    Man: In that case give me a bee licence.
    Clerk: A licence for your pet bee.

    Man: Correct.
    Clerk: Called Eric? Eric the bee?

    Man: No.
    Clerk: No?

    Man: No, Eric the half bee. He had an accident.
    Clerk: You're off your chump.

    Man: Look, if you intend by that utilization of an obscure colloquialism to imply that my sanity is not up to scratch, or even to deny the semi-existence of my little chum Eric the half bee, I shall have to ask you to listen to this. Take it away, Eric the orchestra-leader.

    Eric Idle: A one, two, a one two three four!

    Man (sings): Half a bee, philosophically,
    Must, ipso facto, half not be.
    But half the bee has got to be
    Vis a vis, its entity. D'you see?

    But can a bee be said to be
    Or not to be an entire bee
    When half the bee is not a bee
    Due to some ancient injury?

    Chorus: La dee dee, one two three,
    Eric the half a bee.
    A B C D E F G,
    Eric the half a bee.

    Man: Is this wretched demi-bee,
    Half-asleep upon my knee,
    Some freak from a menagerie?
    No! It's Eric the half a bee!

    Chorus: Fiddle de dum, Fiddle de dee,
    Eric the half a bee.
    Ho ho ho, tee hee hee,
    Eric the half a bee.

    Man: I love this hive, implore ye-ee,
    Bisected accidentally,
    One summer afternoon by me,
    I love him carnally.

    Chorus: He loves him carnally,
    Semi-carnally.

    Man: The end.
    Clerk: Cyril Connolly?
    Man: No, semi-carnally!
    Clerk: Oh.
    Chorus: Cyril Connolly. (Whistle end of tune.)
    Last edited by WhaWhaWha; 04-22-2012 at 01:15 AM.
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    See proof.


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  10. #10
    m21
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatronofPorn View Post
    If you owned and loved your dog(s), why wouldn't you already have them chipped if they ever got lost anyway?
    Exactly, plus it would help stop people dumping thousands upon thousands of dogs every year in the UK.
    Almost 60% of dogs in the UK are already chipped anyway.
    Existing unchipped adult dogs will not have to be chipped either.

    One option is for all puppies to be chipped shortly after birth. Another is for chipping to be compulsory before a dog can be sold.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/pe...rous-dogs.html
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