Sexual orientation :
Help with the 14 year old girl (women's opinion)
Hey sorry this isn't going where you think it is. I am a fairly liberal guy when it comes to sex and I'm more than willing to accept a multitude of opinions and values but here's a situation I see a problem in.
My 14 year old niece is a great girl away from her friends and mother. She's obviously facing a world of challenges in her home life that my wife and I aren't going to be able to fix magically by going back into the past so we have to work with what we have. What do we have?
14 year old girl that not only has an 18 year old boyfriend... wait for it... wait for it... but has been having regular threesomes with him and his friend whose apparently even a little older. ... Hurray!?!? I've told her I want to talk to her on the phone if she wants to, she's got some respect for me and thinks I have some brains and I'd like to get her to settle down with her sex life.
FOR THE WOMEN: What do you think of me phrasing the "talk" like this:
I. "I know you probably guessed this but I don't agree with your current decisions about your body at this age. You're jumping into a very risky lifestyle right off the bat."
II. "You've attained the normative sexual experience of a woman five years older, so if you stopped right now (and you should), you could coast on your laurels for the next 5 years and not miss a minute of experience".
III. "I know you'll be upset about breaking up with this guy, and so will he, but this is part of growing up. Yes that means break up with him tonight even if you are in love. You're suppose to be in love with your first, that's normal, however this is your first. You have a lot of maturity to gain before you really understand love and if you love this man." Worst case here, she says this isn't her first and it's a lot more sex than I thought.
IV. "Life is about having fun AND hard work. You've been doing all the fun stuff and no hard work. You need to seek a balance and that means a few years of catching up on the work stuff. I'm sorry but that's just life"
V. "Yes you're mother is an idiot, sorry you can't change that. You can always talk to your aunt (my wife) about how that's going to play out over time and the many ways life can evolve because of it. You don't want to be like your mother, and you are nearly there and you will become her if you keep going down this path."
Obviously if this was my child... well let's face it, it wouldn't be, but if it was I would handle things differently. I'm her uncle and would like to play the "soft power" or "uncle that treats me like an adult" angle.
In no world does this end with me banging my niece, but if you need to write a story about it be my guest. Do the women reading this agree with my tactic? I sure would like her to get to thinking about something other than sex and what she's doing tonight. She needs to start thinking long term (one year, five year, ten year), and I want to push her that way.
Thanks in advance.