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  1. #1
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    Default Woman at work driving me fucking crazy

    I'm 52 and work with a 49 y/o, nice looking Italian woman. We have both made it abundantly clear that we are hot for each other. The comments that go back and forth are obvious as hell. We keep them discreet so nobody else hears it.

    Everything was okay until earlier this week. I leave work before she does so as I was getting ready to leave, I walked to her work space, leaned over and whispered in her ear, "I'd bite your neck before I leave but I don't want to get fired". Without missing a beat she says, "how'd you know?" and pulled her hair aside. Holy fucking dogshit! Obviously I couldn't do it but it's driving me fucking nuts! The fucking desire for that woman is driving me out of my mind.

    The next morning she made a comment to me about that exchange...something about me making good on it. I don't remember the comment but it implied that I set her off and she wanted me to do it.

    There are two problems here; I'm married and shouldn't be doing this shit and she's married as well and the second half of the problem is I don't ever see us being in a situation where we could act on our desires.

    A couple weeks ago I decided enough is enough...this isn't good for my own productivity because I can't concentrate and it's just wrong...I love my wife deeply and would never want to hurt her. I basically stopped talking to her. She sits like 5 feet from me but we don't face each other; we're basically back to back, working at our computers and there are a lot of others around so it's not like I have a lot of freedom to flirt with her. I didn't talk to her for about a week. I had to back away because she's almost like a fucking drug to me. I was making conversation with other people around me but not her and she wasn't going out of her way to talk to me either so I left it at that.

    After about a week of this, she showed up for work and I simply said, "good morning, Mary" to which she replied, "good morning, sunshine. You're actually talking". I said, "I've been talking" and she grabbed her coffee cup to get a cup of coffee and as she walked by, said "oh, bite me". She was clearly hurt that I wasn't talking to her. And I hated that I hurt her or made her feel bad. I just told her I wasn't ignoring her, I just didn't have anything to say; which was a lie.

    Later that night, I felt like shit because I lied to her. I'm one of those guys who has more heart than brains sometimes. I texted her and said, "I was avoiding you and I lied to you today. I'm sorry for that. Lets just leave it at that". That pretty much patched things up but she broke the ice the next day by rolling her chair over to my desk and asking if I like her shoes. Fuck! She knows I like her feet...I've told her she has pretty feet and she digs it. These were sandal-like wedges...she was wearing nearly opaque black pantyhose. I avoided any innuendos about her sexy feet and just said, "yes, I like them. They look nice". In my head I'm thinking, "I'd love nothing more than to suck on those gorgeous toes!" I could have very well said that and she would have just smiled and soaked up the flirting. She loves when I flirt with her and she told me so.

    So, what's the point of this post? I don't know. This is driving me fucking crazy. I like her, she's hot and she feeds my fucking ego. I need to find a way to "turn it off". Quitting my job isn't an option and moving my seat isn't an option. I just wish I could fuck around with her and not take it serious. Just have fun with it.

    Anybody here ever been in a similar situation? I'd really love to hear from others. Just remember, we're not 20-somethings. We're both 50-ish, mature adults (or so I thought). Please don't tell me I'm a dick for flirting with her. I know it's a problem due to the marriage factor. I just don't know how to deal with her.
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  2. #2
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    Sounds like my experience
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by livdnsouth View Post
    Sounds like my experience
    So fill me in! It would be nice to know I'm not the only one who gets themselves in these positions.
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  4. #4
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    I have a somewhat similar situation. I female colleague that I know, under different circumstances, I'd completely have fallen for her. She's pretty much unlike what I usually fancy - Chinese, not overly good-looking, actually not very sexually attractive, but sweet, witty and funny.

    We flirt all the day, I tease her in a complimenting way, and she obviously enjoys it. But we're both married and we both know that we'll have to leave it like it is and not go any much further. It has become some kind of unspoken agreement that we do what we do and never get any further with it. She's married, I'm married and we both want to keep it that way. And for me it helps that there's not so much sexual attraction to her. I would love to kiss her and tell her sweet things but I don't feel that strong desire for sex that I can have with other women.

    I feel much happier since I got to know her, and the strange thing about it is, that it makes my feelings for my wife much stronger too. I don't feel guilty about it and I think that is why.
    Last edited by geileklodders; 06-09-2013 at 09:21 AM.
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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by geileklodders View Post
    I have a somewhat similar situation. I female colleague that I know, under different circumstances, I'd completely have fallen for her. She's pretty much unlike what I usually fancy - Chinese, not overly good-looking, actually not very sexually attractive, but sweet, witty and funny.

    We flirt all the day, I tease her in a complimenting way, and she obviously enjoys it. But we're both married and we both know that we'll have to leave it like it is and not go any much further. It has become some kind of unspoken agreement that we do what we do and never get any further with it. She's married, I'm married and we both want to keep it that way. And for me it helps that there's not so much sexual attraction to her. I would love to kiss her and tell her sweet things but I don't feel that strong desire for sex that I can have with other women.

    I feel much happier since I got to know her, and the strange thing about it is, that it makes my feelings for my wife much stronger too. I don't feel guilty about it and I think that is why.
    You know, it's funny you said "I would love to kiss her and tell her sweet things but I don't feel that strong desire for sex that I can have with other women."

    I feel the same way about this woman. Don't get me wrong, she's nice looking but I'm wired different than most men. Woman fall into 3 categories with me; 1) I don't know them at all but they're hot and I'd like to fuck their brains out, 2) I know them well but don't find them attractive that way because they are just a good friend or 3) I find them attractive but I also know them and respect them so I don't see them as a "sex object". More of somebody I would like to embrace, kiss and get to know; sex would be out of the question because I know them well enough to like them but not well enough to go "there". That's where I stand with this sweetheart. I could never have sex with her but I'd love to kiss her and hold her and tell her how I felt about her.

    Human attraction sure is a strange thing. I told her today, via IM, that she was agonizing to me. She was like, what? You mean like I annoy you? I said, no, no, no...in a good way. She definitely knows how I feel about her.

    The way I feel about it right now, is "just one kiss, one embrace" and leave it at that. Get it the hell over with. The problem is, I have no idea what's on her mind. Is she thinking the same thing? Or is the flirting and innuendos all she needs to satisfy her?

    Any ladies here have any input? Are you guys happy with endless flirting and innuendos with heavy sexual overtones? This woman basically told me she had a wet dream about me! Do most woman have the self-control and will power to carry on like that and not want just a little more?
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  6. #6
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    You are both adults. You have a need that avoiding will cause everyone arround the both of you to have some sort of issue. The spouses will pick up on the side tensions you produce and equate the feelins to something they did/didn't do and thats also going to cause a problem.

    Two solutions. Tell wife everything going on in your head. Express thay you havnt done anything wrong. And that you dont know what to do. Ask YOUR WIFE for help fixing the problem.

    Solution two. Fuck the girl at work. Get it out of the way. And never do it again


    Thoes are the two I offer. But there are plenty of other options. You have to do whats best for you here pal.


    Good luck
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  7. #7
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    You need to get your priorities straight. I'm assuming you took vows with your wife when you married her. And I'm also assuming that your wife would have serious issues with your behavior with this woman.

    So here's my suggestion. Refocus your energies on your wife and stop flirting with your co-worker. Keep your communications with her professional until you no longer feel the urge to kiss her.

    If you feel the need to explain yourself to your co-worker just tell her the truth. You feel guilty about betraying your wife and you want to refocus on your marriage.
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  8. #8
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    Why don't you "take it out on your wife?" Use all that sexual energy to please her, and make her feel special. Try to just casually avoid the co-worker, because office romances never work out, and they hurt so many people along the way. Send your wife flowers, court her again. There is nothing sexier than a faithful, strong man. You know what to do, you may just be enjoying the rush of feeling like a teenager again, i.e. having a very typical mid-life crisis. Good luck.
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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by axslinger View Post
    I'm 52 and work with a 49 y/o, nice looking Italian woman. We have both made it abundantly clear that we are hot for each other. The comments that go back and forth are obvious as hell. We keep them discreet so nobody else hears it.

    Everything was okay until earlier this week. I leave work before she does so as I was getting ready to leave, I walked to her work space, leaned over and whispered in her ear, "I'd bite your neck before I leave but I don't want to get fired". Without missing a beat she says, "how'd you know?" and pulled her hair aside. Holy fucking dogshit! Obviously I couldn't do it but it's driving me fucking nuts! The fucking desire for that woman is driving me out of my mind.

    The next morning she made a comment to me about that exchange...something about me making good on it. I don't remember the comment but it implied that I set her off and she wanted me to do it.

    There are two problems here; I'm married and shouldn't be doing this shit and she's married as well and the second half of the problem is I don't ever see us being in a situation where we could act on our desires.

    A couple weeks ago I decided enough is enough...this isn't good for my own productivity because I can't concentrate and it's just wrong...I love my wife deeply and would never want to hurt her. I basically stopped talking to her. She sits like 5 feet from me but we don't face each other; we're basically back to back, working at our computers and there are a lot of others around so it's not like I have a lot of freedom to flirt with her. I didn't talk to her for about a week. I had to back away because she's almost like a fucking drug to me. I was making conversation with other people around me but not her and she wasn't going out of her way to talk to me either so I left it at that.

    After about a week of this, she showed up for work and I simply said, "good morning, Mary" to which she replied, "good morning, sunshine. You're actually talking". I said, "I've been talking" and she grabbed her coffee cup to get a cup of coffee and as she walked by, said "oh, bite me". She was clearly hurt that I wasn't talking to her. And I hated that I hurt her or made her feel bad. I just told her I wasn't ignoring her, I just didn't have anything to say; which was a lie.

    Later that night, I felt like shit because I lied to her. I'm one of those guys who has more heart than brains sometimes. I texted her and said, "I was avoiding you and I lied to you today. I'm sorry for that. Lets just leave it at that". That pretty much patched things up but she broke the ice the next day by rolling her chair over to my desk and asking if I like her shoes. Fuck! She knows I like her feet...I've told her she has pretty feet and she digs it. These were sandal-like wedges...she was wearing nearly opaque black pantyhose. I avoided any innuendos about her sexy feet and just said, "yes, I like them. They look nice". In my head I'm thinking, "I'd love nothing more than to suck on those gorgeous toes!" I could have very well said that and she would have just smiled and soaked up the flirting. She loves when I flirt with her and she told me so.

    So, what's the point of this post? I don't know. This is driving me fucking crazy. I like her, she's hot and she feeds my fucking ego. I need to find a way to "turn it off". Quitting my job isn't an option and moving my seat isn't an option. I just wish I could fuck around with her and not take it serious. Just have fun with it.

    Anybody here ever been in a similar situation? I'd really love to hear from others. Just remember, we're not 20-somethings. We're both 50-ish, mature adults (or so I thought). Please don't tell me I'm a dick for flirting with her. I know it's a problem due to the marriage factor. I just don't know how to deal with her.
    Rule no 1. DO NOT SHIT ON YOUR OWN DOORSTEP.

    If you want to play away, do not do it with someone from work!

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  10. #10
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    Without knowing much about your relationship with your wife or your sex life...this is what has worked for me in a similar situation.
    (keep in mind my wife and I have a very open, secure relationship with no jealousy issues).
    Find a time (possibly during love making) to express to your wife your desire to flirt with other women...tell her how hot it makes you....(this is testing the waters)...tell her about the woman in your office and how she drives you nuts...you will probably get some kind of feedback...ask her about her desires and if she also has experienced this sort of attraction. be open and honest.

    If all goes well...begin to explore this shared desire. Dress her up sexy, tell her how great she looks and take her out and show her off...she will love it. Encourage her to flirt and have fun...after all it really is all about having fun.
    Discuss your feelings after a night out of flirting...is it something that the two of you would wish to explore further?

    the boundaries are limitless

    In the mean time...flirt your ass off and get that woman in your office so worked up that she will need to bring extra panties to the office with her.

    Basically your being honest with your wife...having fun at work and maybe opening a new door to sexual exploration for you and your wife.

    Good Luck
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