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  1. #1
    Porn Star JayneyRedd's Avatar
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    Default 1000 Words - TIME

    TIME


    Both of them desperately clicked away at their computer terminals in the dimly lit windowless control-room, the pale electric-blue LEDs giving their white lab-coats a haunting glow. The woman's screen held the telemetry reports. Scores of straight yellow lines flickered and danced across a map of the USA. Gradually some of them stilled, turning red as they did so.


    To her right Stapleton glanced across. “Us?” he said, quietly.


    She increased the screen's resolution. A red line ran from their position on the Florida coast to a point in the Caribbean, just off the coast of Grenada.


    “Time?” he asked.


    After a short succession of clicks a number appeared, glowing large on the monitor.


    7:54


    They stared at the screen for a few seconds.


    7:50


    Suddenly she stood, grabbing Stapleton's tie and dragging him to his feet. She dropped to her knees and began to fumble with his zipper, pulling it open and grabbing for the penis inside.


    “I've always fancied you.” she said.


    Stunned, he allowed her to continue. In his mind he pictured his wife, at home baking for the kids, and shortly to leave for the school run. He glanced at the screen.


    7:32


    He felt the warmth of her mouth envelop his flaccid cock. Despite himself, he began to harden. Looking down he saw that she had torn off her coat, blouse, and bra. As his cock became fully-erect she released it, stood and spun around, hitching her skirt up around her waist. The black lace of her hold-up stockings tantalised his eyes as she pulled her panties down, bending forward across the console.


    6:21


    “Fuck me” she said, spreading her legs. “Fuck me now.”


    He needed no second bidding. Grasping her hips he rammed his cock into her moist pussy, and began to thrust. As her breasts began to swing with the motions he grabbed them, kneading and squeezing, tweaking her nipples.


    6:03


    Her wetness caused his laboured strokes to slurp as he continued, ever faster. Both their bodies began to sweat, both began to pant. His strokes began to speed up.


    4:26


    “Make me come, baby! Make me come, please!” she begged.


    4:10


    She slid a hand down and began to stimulate her clitoris, rubbing faster as his thrusts increased in speed and force.


    3:22


    “HARDER!” she screamed “MAKE ME COME YOU BASTARD! HURT ME!”


    3:20


    Shocked, he slapped her buttock with his hand.


    “HARDER!” was the frenetic reply.


    He smacked his palm once more against her ass, and thrust into her more powerfully than ever, slamming her into his console, dislodging the screen and keyboard, which smashed to the floor in a tangle of broken glass, shattered plastic and dangling wires.


    3:12


    “HURT ME! PULL MY HAIR YOU CUNT!” she hollered.


    Spurred on by her exhortations he grabbed a handful of hair, jerking her head back. With the other hand he pressed down hard on the middle of her back, between her shoulder-blades, holding her down, breasts rubbing painfully against the shards of the destroyed computer. His thrusts now banging into her ever more powerfully, he felt his orgasm begin to rise inside him, his cock throbbing.


    2:49


    He felt the glorious release of his load, his cock pulsating as the semen flooded into her. The feel of the hot spunk finally drove her over the edge too, and they came almost simultaneously, panting, gasping and screaming their frantic joy. His rhythm slowed as the spurts of cum diminished, the rocking of their bodies subsiding.


    1:42


    Spent, his cock began to soften. She murmured quiet disappointment as it eventually slipped out of her.


    0:56


    Still breathing deeply, she straightened up. Behind her, Stapleton wrapped his arms around her, cuddling her close, his lips nuzzling her ear.


    0:27


    They stood, transfixed by the numbers on her screen as they silently ticked away.


    0:10


    “Goodbye” she whispered. Stapleton did not reply. In their minds both counted the seconds down with the clock.


    0:05


    An eerie silence prevailed. They held their breaths.


    0:01


    Involuntarily, their bodies tensed, the warm glow of orgasm now long forgotten.


    0:00


    The room was plunged into total darkness as the Electro-Magnetic Pulse eradicated the lights, the battery-operated back-ups and the remaining computer.


    A huge resonant boom was heard, like the roar of a thousand jet-engines on maximum, for two seconds, before the shock-wave from the 495 megaton nuclear device vaporised their location at Kennedy Space Center, along with Cape Canaveral Air Force Base and the whole of Merritt Island, the opening strike of a salvo that would obliterate all life on that continent.


    America had failed in her desperate bid to save the world.


    A year earlier Chinese scientists had declared that the only way to deal with the huge bolide astronomers had discovered on an 'Extinction Event' collision course with Earth was to launch nuclear missiles at it, shattering it into smithereens. American scientists had disagreed, stating that breaking the meteor up would simply cause thousands of fragments to fall to Earth, causing mass destruction anyway. The only way to deal with the problem was to refit a Space Shuttle from retirement, land on it and install a Nuclear Pulse Propulsion unit, to send it off course.


    Supported by Russia, China had announced its intention to launch anyway.


    In desperation, the day before China's planned space-shots, America, France and the UK had launched a pre-emptive nuclear strike, gambling that they could disable China and Russia to prevent them from their supposed folly.


    Unfortunately, Russia's 'Dead-Hand Perimeter' system automatically fired its entire arsenal of nuclear weapons.


    The few survivors of the brief war did not last long.


    Eight days after the bombs fell, the meteorite passed Earth's 'Roche Limit', and impacted the surface with a force a million times greater than all the bombs fired the previous week combined, extinguishing forever all signs of life.


    In seeking to save itself, humanity had in fact sealed its own death warrant.
    Last edited by ejls; 08-15-2013 at 11:09 PM.
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  2. #2
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    Very powerful, very final. Well done and an excellent entry.
    Beings that are not capable of traveling at high velocity with canines of the larger than normal variety should confine themselves to the raised portion near the vicinity of the front door to their domicile.

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  3. #3
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    Doomsday clock extraordinaire, well done.
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  4. #4
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    A very good entry and quite well done within the word limit. 989 words didn't seem to constrain your talent at all. You sure met the challenge with flying colors.
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  5. #5
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    The reader knew early on that something bad was happening, but the suspense of the constantly reducing clock just seemed to intensify the sex scene.

    Extremely powerful and I loved how their infidelity was reduced to immaterial as the end was revealed.

    Another thing, we all wonder about our final words in our life and want them to be profound. One says, 'Goodbye' and the other says nothing. That was such an intense moment.

    Really well done! Excellent read, brilliant premise!
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  6. #6
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    Default You proved it, flaming beauty.

    My first thought on the SS challenge was that it couldn't be done, or if it could, we'd wind up with little vignettes.

    With this, we got a story. You set the premise very quickly, and then "multi-tasked" your prose to give us plot and character development during the sex scene.

    Very nice. The countdown was a clever (and verbiage-saving) element, too. The reader knew exactly what was going on and felt the urgency of everything.

    Brilliant, Jayney. I always like your longer works, but is a real showcase of your talent.
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  7. #7
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    You ran away from your comfort zone with this one Jayney! Subject, style, length, and yet it was totally you. I've said it before, we wait far too long for your work. Thank you for this gift from one of the best writers on the site.

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  8. #8
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    I have to say now that I have read it a second time.

    You have proved me wrong this is definitely a story in a thousand words.
    Beings that are not capable of traveling at high velocity with canines of the larger than normal variety should confine themselves to the raised portion near the vicinity of the front door to their domicile.

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  9. #9
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    Well done Jayney, well done
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  10. #10
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    Well crap, good luck to those wanting to top this!
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    Also: "Because fuck that plagiarizing bullshit sideways with a pole trimmer on a splintered handle which happens to be on fire and covered in angry Japanese giant hornets." Friend from another site.
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  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by LOAnnie2 View Post
    Well crap, good luck to those wanting to top this!
    Make the effort anyhow. The readers/voters will decide in the end and until all is written, posted, read and voted for, there is no guarantee as to how it will go for any one story.
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  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by snowleopard3200 View Post
    Make the effort anyhow. The readers/voters will decide in the end and until all is written, posted, read and voted for, there is no guarantee as to how it will go for any one story.

    Oh, I'm not discounting any other author, I'm just really impressed is all.
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  13. #13
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    This story is getting some great comments - thank you everybody!
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  14. #14
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    I think most people have had thoughts about what or who they would do if there were only 10 minutes left on earth. This is an excellent story of one of those scenarios.

    Each story I read is making my decision that much harder. Well Done!
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  15. #15
    Porn Star darthel0101's Avatar
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    On re-reading, I realized something which causes me to have to say once more that writers need to either write what they know or keep specifics out of their work.
    A few nits being picked - geek alert.

    Roche Limit
    The smallest distance at which a natural satellite can orbit a celestial body without being torn apart by the larger body's gravitational force. The distance depends on the densities of the two bodies and the orbit of the satellite.
    If you remember Shoemaker–Levy, you will also remember that it was fragmented due to passing through Jupiter's Roche Limit LONG before it actually impacted the planet.
    Shoemaker–Levy was actually captured by Jupiter's gravity well instead of simply being diverted straight into the planet. An incoming missile would be affected differently. I would suggest that the author read the first few chapters of Lucifer's Hammer by Larry Niven for some of the science involved in this type of story.

    --------------------

    Another term used is bolide. This term, as I can find it, refers to an object which has already impacted. It is related to fireball when referring to meteors and that word (meteor), by definition, implies that the object is already IN the atmosphere. Again, I have to recommend Lucifer's Hammer for some of the science behind ELEs and incoming projectiles.
    BTW - Armageddon was not an ELE, it was a planet cracker. That is a major difference in magnitude.
    Even with astronomy at the level it is at today, I would not expect a 1-year lead on an ELE. I would expect MAYBE 6 months.

    --------------------

    A third point of contention is the yield from what has to have been a sub launched ballistic missile - it originated in the Caribbean. The CURRENTLY operational Russian SLBMs include: R-29R "Vysota", RSM-54 R-29RMU "Sineva", RSM-54 R-29RMU2 "Layner",and RSM-56 R-30 "Bulava". Most of these missiles are are multiple re-entry vehicle (MIRV) launchers and those MIRVS are generally lower yield bombs. IOW, the MT yield described in this story is just a LEEEEEEETLE bit off - the Bulava's "6 (can carry 10) re-entry vehicles with a yield of 150 kt each" means a factor difference of almost 300x. For comparison, the Trident II carries multiple W88 or W76 nuclear warheads. The W88 warhead manages to yield up 475 kt and the W76 has a yield of 100 kilotons - still a factor difference of 100x to 400x.

    A final issue is the time involved. The distance between Jacksonville Florida and Point Salines Airport in Grenada is approximately 1800mi (2900km). A Trident II's given speed is approximately 13,000 mph (21,000 km/h) which means that the total time in air for that missile over that trajectory would be only about 8:20. Telemetry should not be able to determine the trajectory exactly at less than one min into the flight (remember that apex is at more than half-way into flight time due to acceleration time at start and NO DECELERATION at end) and the MIRV aspect clouds it even more. The missile is steerable well after apex.
    The following from Wiki

    Minuteman III MIRV launch sequence:
    1. The missile launches out of its silo by firing its first stage boost motor (A).
    2. About 60 seconds after launch, the 1st stage drops off and the second stage motor (B) ignites. The missile shroud (E) is ejected.
    3. About 120 seconds after launch, the third stage motor (C) ignites and separates from the 2nd stage.
    4. About 180 seconds after launch, third stage thrust terminates and the Post-Boost Vehicle (D) separates from the rocket.
    5. The Post-Boost Vehicle maneuvers itself and prepares for reentry vehicle (RV) deployment.
    6. While the Post-Boost Vehicle backs away, the RVs, decoys, and chaff are deployed (although the figure shows this happening during descent, this may occur during ascent instead).
    7. The RVs and chaff reenter the atmosphere at high speeds and are armed in flight.
    8. The nuclear warheads detonate, either as air bursts or ground bursts.
    This also brings up TOT (Time On Target).
    1 - why is a sub targeting Florida just off the coast of South America instead of off the coast of Newfoundland?
    2 - the 'Dead-Hand' order to fire would have gone to all launchers at the same time and thus all launches would have been synchronous
    3 - missiles traveling only 1800 miles will probably reach their target before one traveling 4000 miles or more even reaches apex.
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  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by darthel0101 View Post
    Another term used is bolide. This term, as I can find it, refers to an object which has already impacted. It is related to fireball when referring to meteors and that word (meteor), by definition, implies that the object is already IN the atmosphere. Again, I have to recommend Lucifer's Hammer for some of the science behind ELEs and incoming projectiles.
    BTW - Armageddon was not an ELE, it was a planet cracker. That is a major difference in magnitude.
    Even with astronomy at the level it is at today, I would not expect a 1-year lead on an ELE. I would expect MAYBE 6 months.
    Now here is a point we could argue...

    No, not fight about.

    Most bodies in our solar system large enough to be an ELE are well known and tracked. So an ELE would have to come from outside our solar system. Given the current levels of light pollution on earth the asteroid from Armageddon would have been a naked eye object a year before impact, and easily visible with a pair of binoculars for two years before that. An ELE size object should be easily seen by the all sky survey for at least 4 years prior to impact. The all sky survey data is openly available on the internet.
    Beings that are not capable of traveling at high velocity with canines of the larger than normal variety should confine themselves to the raised portion near the vicinity of the front door to their domicile.

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  17. #17
    Porn Star darthel0101's Avatar
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    KEY WORDS - 'In The Solar System' What about outside the Kuiper Belt?



    Armageddon was described as about 1,000 miles wide - 1/6th the diameter of Earth.

    An ELE only needs a few miles.

    A comet of less than 10 miles would be through the atmosphere before it burned anything away due to its velocity and likely straight-line travel instead of orbital capture and degeneration.
    Remember that a 2 mile diameter comet would be at the bottom of Challenger's Deep before the top quarter went underwater.

    That is why I commented on the difference between Armageddon and ELE. Objects of 10 miles or less inside the orbit of Saturn are not the unknown danger. Objects of 10 miles or less coming from outside the Kuiper Belt are. Hell, Shoemaker-Levy was not found in orbit around Jupiter for around 20 years or more.
    Objects outside of Saturn's orbiit would be extremely unlikely to be noticed as their lateral motion was not seen - like if they are coming straight in towards the Sun on a cometary orbit.
    Remember as well that that type of orbit is not just moving fast around perigee, it is moving EXTREMELY fast if apogee is outside of Pluto's orbit and perigee within Mercury's.
    Look at that orbit of Sedna in the image above and imagine an object coming from the apogee and transiting the orbit of Earth. That bitch would be cooking on it's path and heaven help anything that got in its way. The lateral movement for that object would be extremely low due to its actual trajectory; the only way to tell it was moving would be by magnitude differences and by the time the magnitude was noticed, the lateral would be and by then it would be on the FAST side of its orbit. I stand by 6mo max.
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  18. #18
    Guardian of the Snow snowleopard3200's Avatar
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    Another thing to consider with an inbound towards earth, if it comes from an angle to where the sunlight blocks detection from earth, then in theory the surprise factor could come down to weeks, days, or even hours.

    Look at the object that came in over Russia not long ago and detonated, if I remember right, at about 20 miles in height with a force of 600Kt of force. No warning at all.

    Most NEO's with a chance to impact may be detected a decade or more in advance; and yet how often do we read about asteroids which are not seen until AFTER they have crossed our path?

    While an planet-cracker or ELE impact is possible, the more likely threat would be a small sized impacting body such as, again, over Russia. Imagine the damage it would have scored with a low-altitude (2-4km) aerial detonation over or near a major metropolis?
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  19. #19
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    If you want to continue this let's take it to PMs or its own thread. I am more than happy to have this debate. I have had it many times with several of my friends. Then we can discuss the black hole theory. It is one of my favorite topics.

    I am self taught about astronomy. So it is a great learning tool for me.

    There is one point I wanted to make though. An object in space on a direct inbound course for another body is not subject to Roche's limit. The reason that Roche's limit causes a body to break up is because one side of it is being pulled on harder than the other. If the inbound body is traveling faster than the terminal velocity of the body it is approaching there are no gravitation tides. So in the case described in this story it is just a way of giving the location of the object. Though it is actually a very non determinant location because, the Roche's limit is determined by the relative sizes of the bodies, and is different for every object of different mass and density.

    I can give poetic license for that.
    Beings that are not capable of traveling at high velocity with canines of the larger than normal variety should confine themselves to the raised portion near the vicinity of the front door to their domicile.

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  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by snowleopard3200 View Post
    Look at the object that came in over Russia not long ago and detonated, if I remember right, at about 20 miles in height with a force of 600Kt of force. No warning at all.

    Quote Originally Posted by wikipedia
    With an estimated initial mass of about 10,000 tonnes (11,000 short tons, heavier than the Eiffel Tower), and measuring between 17 to 20 metres in size, it is the largest known natural object to have entered Earth's atmosphere since the 1908 Tunguska event that destroyed a wide, remote forest area of Siberia. The Chelyabinsk meteor is also the only meteor confirmed to have resulted in a large number of injuries. The predicted close approach of a second asteroid, the roughly 30-metre 2012 DA14 occurred about 16 hours later; detailed analysis of the two objects later determined that they were unrelated to each other.
    Understand that that was a very small space rock. Only about 66 feet in diameter. That is a lot harder to see than something several miles wide. I am sure you may not see a snowball being thrown at you however if someone picks up a small town and hurls it at you I am pretty sure you're going to see it coming.

    An ELE rock is not going to be a chunk of rock it is going to be a small moon. If you look, on dark night, you can see the four big moons of Saturn with the naked eye. A rock that size traveling from that distance at maximum celestial speeds would still take close to three years to get here. That is already visible to the naked eye. I can see Pluto in my telescope, and it is a hell of a lot smaller and a hell of a lot further away.
    Beings that are not capable of traveling at high velocity with canines of the larger than normal variety should confine themselves to the raised portion near the vicinity of the front door to their domicile.

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  21. #21
    Porn Star JayneyRedd's Avatar
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    Oh, you boys!

    You do like to be specific, don't you?

    Quote Originally Posted by darthel0101 View Post
    On re-reading, I realized something which causes me to have to say once more that writers need to either write what they know or keep specifics out of their work.
    A few nits being picked - geek alert.

    Roche LimitIf you remember Shoemaker–Levy, you will also remember that it was fragmented due to passing through Jupiter's Roche Limit LONG before it actually impacted the planet.
    Shoemaker–Levy was actually captured by Jupiter's gravity well instead of simply being diverted straight into the planet. An incoming missile would be affected differently. I would suggest that the author read the first few chapters of Lucifer's Hammer by Larry Niven for some of the science involved in this type of story.
    Wikipedia:
    "The Roche limit, sometimes referred to as the Roche radius, is the distance within which a celestial body, held together only by its own gravity, will disintegrate due to a second celestial body's tidal forces exceeding the first body's gravitational self-attraction."

    So, in my story, when the object reached Earth's RL, it would have disintegrated, with all the pieces falling catastrophically to earth - it is the "Roche Sphere" which causes an object to orbit first (as in the case of Shoemaker-Levy). Had the object contained enough mass, and been travelling with sufficient force, it very likely would have by-passed the orbital stage.

    I only brought the story in at 4 words under the 1k limit (by my word-counter) so describing the object breaking up was not possible.

    As regards Niven's 'Lucifer's Hammer' I find it difficult to believe that modern science would be unable to accurately track and predict the course of a celestial body. In 1977, when Niven published that book it might have been possible for an error in tracking to be made, and for an object thought to be passing Earth to unexpectedly impact, but 36 years of technological advances later makes Niven's premise appear outdated.

    Quote Originally Posted by darthel0101 View Post


    A third point of contention is the yield from what has to have been a sub launched ballistic missile - it originated in the Caribbean. The CURRENTLY operational Russian SLBMs include: R-29R "Vysota", RSM-54 R-29RMU "Sineva", RSM-54 R-29RMU2 "Layner",and RSM-56 R-30 "Bulava". Most of these missiles are are multiple re-entry vehicle (MIRV) launchers and those MIRVS are generally lower yield bombs. IOW, the MT yield described in this story is just a LEEEEEEETLE bit off - the Bulava's "6 (can carry 10) re-entry vehicles with a yield of 150 kt each" means a factor difference of almost 300x. For comparison, the Trident II carries multiple W88 or W76 nuclear warheads. The W88 warhead manages to yield up 475 kt and the W76 has a yield of 100 kilotons - still a factor difference of 100x to 400x.


    The missle in the story was a Layner (wiki again):
    "The Layner missile is a highly advanced derivative of the three-stage liquid-propelled R-29RMU Sineva SLBM, which was accepted into service in 2007.[2][12] While many technical details are not disclosed, it is known that the missile is capable of carrying up to twelve low-yieldnuclear warheads called MIRVs capable of striking several targets individually.[12] This is twice the number of warheads the Sineva can carry, and, unlike those of the Sineva, these warheads can be of various yields with fewer warheads"

    I wanted something really apocalyptic, so I upped the yield of the typical SLBM in order that it would vaporise Merrit Island and the surrounding area. I've only just noticed that I typed 'Megaton' - that should read 'Kiloton' - just above the 475 kt normal maximum, which was my intention. My bad.

    Quote Originally Posted by darthel0101 View Post
    A final issue is the time involved. The distance between Jacksonville Florida and Point Salines Airport in Grenada is approximately 1800mi (2900km). A Trident II's given speed is approximately 13,000 mph (21,000 km/h) which means that the total time in air for that missile over that trajectory would be only about 8:20. Telemetry should not be able to determine the trajectory exactly at less than one min into the flight (remember that apex is at more than half-way into flight time due to acceleration time at start and NO DECELERATION at end) and the MIRV aspect clouds it even more. The missile is steerable well after apex.

    1 - why is a sub targeting Florida just off the coast of South America instead of off the coast of Newfoundland?
    2 - the 'Dead-Hand' order to fire would have gone to all launchers at the same time and thus all launches would have been synchronous
    3 - missiles traveling only 1800 miles will probably reach their target before one traveling 4000 miles or more even reaches apex.


    For the sake of the story needing time for a good, swift bonk I planned on 8 minutes: I assumed an average speed of 13,000 mph, so I needed a place approximately 1,600-1,800 miles away. I chose the Carribean as the launch point by starting at Merritt Island Airport and plotting a radius from there, it was an ironic statement that the missile was fired up the Eastern Range test route, after the USA had tested so many of its missiles (both military and space exploration) down that route, and also ironic that the missile came from the waters of Grenada, an island that was once invaded by the USA.

    In the beginning of the story, yellow lines flicker as the computers struggle to decide what the actual target will be, when the lines turn red it has been calculated what the eventual target is.
    It was a plot device, and talk of trajectories, velocities, apexes etc is being pedantic!


    The story does say that the Florida bomb was the "opening strike", the missiles targeting the rest of the country were still in flight at the time, including those launched from the Pacific and various land-based locations.

    Incidentally. my story, whilst using quite a bit of artistic licence, is many times more scientifically accurate than that Bruce Willis 'Armageddon' film. That grossed $550 million, so I think I'm better than that!

    During my research for this story I discovered that NASA show that film to candiates for certain positions as part of the interview process, and ask them to point out the scientific errors/impossibilities involved - the record is apparently 168.



    I used a mixture of research and story-telling for "Time", and I'm quite pleased with the end result.

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    Wow, great. Such a brilliant idea and wonderfully put across. Tense, erotic and thought provoking. Nice one, Jayney.
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    Default I could care less about the science...

    The story line did it for me. Loved it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by JayneyRedd View Post
    Oh, you boys!

    You do like to be specific, don't you?
    all the time. Please note that I do not mean to attack your story and if you think about it, even with all the crap science in it, Armageddon was still a very entertaining story.



    Quote Originally Posted by JayneyRedd View Post
    Wikipedia:
    "The Roche limit, sometimes referred to as the Roche radius, is the distance within which a celestial body, held together only by its own gravity, will disintegrate due to a second celestial body's tidal forces exceeding the first body's gravitational self-attraction."
    A ballistic path free falling to the surface will not encounter the same effects of the Roche Limit as a continuing orbit and a straight shot to impact, which is basically what you described for your ELE, will experience even less. You also have to consider what the RL is and how fast the approaching body passes it before impacting.


    Quote Originally Posted by JayneyRedd View Post
    As regards Niven's 'Lucifer's Hammer' I find it difficult to believe that modern science would be unable to accurately track and predict the course of a celestial body. In 1977, when Niven published that book it might have been possible for an error in tracking to be made, and for an object thought to be passing Earth to unexpectedly impact, but 36 years of technological advances later makes Niven's premise appear outdated.
    The problem is not in tracking but in identifying. Bodies in the Kuiper Belt are still being identified by the lateral movement between photos; the advance is that computers are now able to do the comparisons. The problem comes when you are looking at something which is aiming to pass close to the Sun from an area outside of 75AU away. As stated in the article on Sedna:
    Although the orbits of some long-period comets extend farther than that of Sedna, they are too dim to be discovered except when approaching perihelion in the inner Solar System.

    Animation showing the movement of Eris on the images used to discover it. Eris is indicated by the arrow. The three frames were taken over a period of three hours.
    Eris was discovered by identifying its lateral motion on January 5, 2005





    Quote Originally Posted by JayneyRedd View Post
    The missle in the story was a Layner …

    I wanted something really apocalyptic, so I upped the yield of the typical SLBM in order that it would vaporise Merrit Island and the surrounding area. I've only just noticed that I typed 'Megaton' - that should read 'Kiloton' - just above the 475 kt normal maximum, which was my intention. My bad.
    THAT is an honest statement and I will accept a typo there. I would not have had an issue with a 475kt.
    Truce.


    Quote Originally Posted by JayneyRedd View Post
    For the sake of the story needing time for a good, swift bonk I planned on 8 minutes: I assumed an average speed of 13,000 mph, so I needed a place approximately 1,600-1,800 miles away. I chose the Carribean as the launch point by starting at Merritt Island Airport and plotting a radius from there, it was an ironic statement that the missile was fired up the Eastern Range test route, after the USA had tested so many of its missiles (both military and space exploration) down that route, and also ironic that the missile came from the waters of Grenada, an island that was once invaded by the USA.
    OK, I understand the placement of the launch platform now.


    Quote Originally Posted by JayneyRedd View Post
    In the beginning of the story, yellow lines flicker as the computers struggle to decide what the actual target will be, when the lines turn red it has been calculated what the eventual target is.
    It was a plot device, and talk of trajectories, velocities, apexes etc is being pedantic!
    This is still a sticking point. During those 8 min of flight, missiles needing to cover more than twice that distance will still be ascending and incoming trajectories of the RVs cannot be determined with ANY certainty.



    Quote Originally Posted by JayneyRedd View Post
    … Incidentally. my story, whilst using quite a bit of artistic licence, is many times more scientifically accurate than that Bruce Willis 'Armageddon' film.
    Please note that I only used Armageddon as a reference to a planet cracker instead of a reference to any piece of honest science. I really enjoyed tearing that story apart when dealing with the science in it.
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    I'm still really pleased at the reaction this has got.

    I realise some of the science is a little flawed, but ... it's a story dammit!
    I'm scientifically more accurate than all of Hollywood's attempts at Extinction Level Events (Armageddon, Deep Impact, The Day The Earth Caught Fire, The Day The Earth Stood Still etc).

    It's a fictional story - I intended it to be a mixture of "Fail-Safe" (an old film I saw on TV years ago, but one which with its limited scenes was claustrophobic and suspenseful), and '24' where the ticking clock made Jack Bauer's efforts seem tense and action-packed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JayneyRedd View Post
    I'm still really pleased at the reaction this has got.

    I realise some of the science is a little flawed, but ... it's a story dammit!
    I'm scientifically more accurate than all of Hollywood's attempts at Extinction Level Events (Armageddon, Deep Impact, The Day The Earth Caught Fire, The Day The Earth Stood Still etc).

    It's a fictional story - I intended it to be a mixture of "Fail-Safe" (an old film I saw on TV years ago, but one which with its limited scenes was claustrophobic and suspenseful), and '24' where the ticking clock made Jack Bauer's efforts seem tense and action-packed.

    I have to agree. I have a science background and picked up on the flaws. They did not distract from the overall story for me. I was not even planning on commenting on them.

    I think this was an excellent entry for a story under 1000 words.
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    Quote Originally Posted by JayneyRedd View Post
    I'm still really pleased at the reaction this has got.

    I realise some of the science is a little flawed, but ... it's a story dammit!
    I'm scientifically more accurate than all of Hollywood's attempts at Extinction Level Events (Armageddon, Deep Impact, The Day The Earth Caught Fire, The Day The Earth Stood Still etc).

    It's a fictional story - I intended it to be a mixture of "Fail-Safe" (an old film I saw on TV years ago, but one which with its limited scenes was claustrophobic and suspenseful), and '24' where the ticking clock made Jack Bauer's efforts seem tense and action-packed.

    You should be pleased with the reaction.

    You should also be pleased with MY reaction - it got me thinking. It's just that when I think, I start finding questions - call me a masochist (I have to tear apart something that I enjoyed).

    Your response above was a good justification on why you wrote the way you did.
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  28. #28
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    All this science talk is making me hot.
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    *Puts on steel underpants.*
    Beings that are not capable of traveling at high velocity with canines of the larger than normal variety should confine themselves to the raised portion near the vicinity of the front door to their domicile.

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    Did I wrongly assume that in fiction the author is God and can write whatever they wish, even if it stretches the facts? I mean, it is fiction.

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    It was just a friendly debate. They should happen that is how people exchange viewpoints and learn from each other. It is when emotions become part of it that people quit learning.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ejls View Post
    Did I wrongly assume that in fiction the author is God and can write whatever they wish, even if it stretches the facts? I mean, it is fiction.
    Precisely!
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    Quote Originally Posted by ejls View Post
    Did I wrongly assume that in fiction the author is God and can write whatever they wish, even if it stretches the facts? I mean, it is fiction.
    I have no problem with it being fiction - I was just pointing out, to the author (and whoever wanted to converse), a few items which I saw as possibly being issues in understanding.

    The ELE thing is because I have seen too many times where a planet cracker size body is used for the story and that is simply overkill - although it DOES generally allow time for the story while my version would not.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ejls View Post
    Did I wrongly assume that in fiction the author is God and can write whatever they wish, even if it stretches the facts? I mean, it is fiction.
    They can. But, the closer to scientific accuracy one can get, the better, because flaws in science theory will bring out nit picks, even well-intended ones.

    But we all know this, which is why we research our stories and our characters.

    I saw some stuff that made me go hmmm but I just filed it away and more went with the flow of the story. That was what was important to me. A great tale in a little time. The Jack Bauer reference, Jayne, was dead on. Exactly what I thought as I was reading through it. And, I have the dvd for Fail-Safe. It is a chiller of a movie, isn't it?
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    Well, since I don't understand any of this Sci-Fi scientific crap, I think it was wonderful.

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    Although it may seem pedantic, the debate here about the science is valid; I view it as constructive criticism, and have found it helpful. The next time I write something that involves any form of scientific theory I will do more research - for this one I cast a brief look over Google/Wikipedia and that was it.

    Any criticism, if it has valid points to make, is always welcome in my book, so thank you to Darthy for bringing up the issue. It helps me to improve my writing.

    I will take more care next time!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brootforce View Post
    *Puts on steel underpants.*
    I have an electric tin-opener....



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    Quote Originally Posted by JayneyRedd View Post
    Although it may seem pedantic, the debate here about the science is valid; I view it as constructive criticism, and have found it helpful. The next time I write something that involves any form of scientific theory I will do more research - for this one I cast a brief look over Google/Wikipedia and that was it.

    Any criticism, if it has valid points to make, is always welcome in my book, so thank you to Darthy for bringing up the issue. It helps me to improve my writing.

    I will take more care next time!
    Have fun instead. One of my favorite authors is Anne McCaffrey and she could not write science if her life depended on it. That does not mean that I do not enjoy her work.
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    gathering them together.
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    This is one of three vying for first place on my short list. I have read it three times in as many days, and still am amazed at how much can be crammed into less than 1000 words.
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    Who cares about the science...it is a story dammit, and a very good one, even if the science was totally flawed it would not damage the story except to some geeks!
    I am a HUGE fan of Science Fiction and gosh there are lots of great stories based on false premises that are still good stories.
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    Excellent story Jayney... I love how raw you write sex scenes and the wraparound 'end of the world as we know it' made a perfect scenario.
    Having read many of your other stories, I can appreciate how much of a challenge condensing it into a brief tale must have been. A challenge met and conquered
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    OK, so the boys are having a healthy debate about the asteroid and it's good to see them playing happily together.

    The sodding asteroid doesn't kill them boys the nuclear bomb does.
    But being a train spotter from way back I did some investigating.

    Now the bomb (or as Inspector Clouseau would 've put it "zee bowmba") exploded was 495 megatons. Really?

    Consider this

    Tsar Bomba (Russian: Царь-бомба; "Tsar Bomb") is the nickname for the AN602 hydrogen bomb, the most powerful nuclear weapon ever detonated. Its October 30, 1961 test remains the most powerful artificial explosion in human history. It was also referred to as Kuz'kina Mat' (Russian: Кузькина мать, Kuzka's mother),[1] referring to Nikita Khrushchev's promise to show the United States a "Kuz'kina Mat'" at the 1960 United Nations General Assembly. The famous Russian idiom, which has been problematic for translators, literally meaning “to show somebody Kuzka's mother”, equates roughly with the English “We’ll show you!” Developed by the Soviet Union, the bomb had the yield of 50 to 58 megatons of TNT (210 to 240 PJ). Only one bomb of this type was ever officially built and it was tested on October 30, 1961, in the Novaya Zemlya archipelago, at Sukhoy Nos

    So the device used in your story was nine times more powerful than the biggest hugest one ever ever ever. How come?

    And what about the US missile shield? Did they keep the warranty booklet?

    Oh. and also that bloody thing weighed 60,000pounds so presumably the one that did the damage in your story would weigh about nine times that, so 540,000 pounds.One would need a fairly long runway to get the old girl up in the air with that little puppy in the bomb bay,what?

    Nice story, reminds me of that gag where they cross to the news across the world.

    To Paris

    "the nuclear bombe is ow you say eet, on eets way oh merde."

    To Washington

    "Experts are sure now that impact of the nuclear devices will take place..."

    To London

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    Quibbles about the science are easily dismissed by imagining the story to be in the near future - who knows what changes will occur, even tomorrow, or in an alternate universe very like our own, but differing in exactly the right way to fit the author's text!
    I'm happy with that.
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    [QUOTE=Katie Unleashed;5993520]Quibbles about the science are easily dismissed by imagining the story to be in the near future - who knows what changes will occur, even tomorrow, or in an alternate universe very like our own, but differing in exactly the right way to fit the author's text!
    I'm happy with that
    .[/QUOTE]

    If Germaine Greer were dead she would turn in her grave at that.




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    Quote Originally Posted by Prurient Purveyer View Post

    If Germaine Greer were dead she would turn in her grave at that.

    well, maybe it's not a good model for journalism or books intended to discuss ideologies and such like, but it's just fine for fantasy fiction.

    Do 'Game of Thrones' fans argue about how it is possible for dragons to fly? huh, do they? Huh?
    Last edited by Katie Unleashed; 07-27-2013 at 06:39 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katie Unleashed View Post
    well, maybe it's not a good model for journalism or books intended to discuss ideologies and such like, but it's just fine for fantasy fiction.

    Do 'Game of Thrones' fans argue about how it is possible for dragons to fly? huh, do they? Huh?
    Dragons? Not in my book, I have three To Dream of Dragon stories already written and in the forum.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katie Unleashed View Post
    well, maybe it's not a good model for journalism or books intended to discuss ideologies and such like, but it's just fine for fantasy fiction.

    Do 'Game of Thrones' fans argue about how it is possible for dragons to fly? huh, do they? Huh?
    I'm not sure what Journalism or ideologies has to do with this story. If you write a fantasy then dragons can do figures of eight by the squadron for all I care; its a fantasy and anything goes.

    This isn't a fantasy its a story and as such what happens should be plausible.

    Right up to giving the explosive force of the device this story was running on all eight cylinders ; we all know the nuclear holocaust theory and I would have been happy with that. The politics was fine (in terms of plausibility) and I have no idea what's out there hurtling towards my roof so that was fine as well

    I only had one thing to check.

    Wish I hadn't now.

    Mind you, 47 posts means more people are going to read it and its still a good final fuck story.




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    Wow, Janey, you really know how to, uhm, make an impact! That is to say, you, uh, opened with a boom!

    This was so good. The desperation of their position, the knowledge of their coming death... they did not go gently into that good night. They went with a bang, so to speak.

    As always, your sex scenes manage to hover on that thin line between 'just enough' and 'almost too', just an inch away from the 'too much' zone. But it never is. You push it and push it and stop just at the exact right time and amount.

    I loved this. It was a very good first-entry story.

    I thing the 'telling' near the end was pretty much unavoidable - if everybody is dead, there isn't a character to describe and show what had happened and why. So who else to tell the audience but the author? It didn't distract from my enjoyment of the story at all, even thow showing vs telling is usually a pet peeve of mine. In this case it was pretty much justified.

    Good work, Miss Red. Now, let's hope you didn't write it with a magic pen that makes everything it writes come true.
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    Quote Originally Posted by hornypixy View Post
    Good work, Miss Red. Now, let's hope you didn't write it with a magic pen that makes everything it writes come true.
    If she did, we can all wait in the control room for this guy.


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