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Thread: Real Sex

  1. #1
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    After reading through some of the posts in the thread about the proposed ban on porn in the UK, I thought I'd start off a tribute to Real Sex. As an introduction, here's an extract from my contribution.

    A salient point is that while porn is so easily accessible, young people can be given an unrealistic view of what to expect from sex. The reality of groping, fumbling, elbow in the eye sex doesn't appear in all the videos, and neither do tender, respectful loving relationships. We're left with all the extreme anal, BDSM, multiple partner acts performed by blonde barbies and well endowed adonis's.

    So - last time you had sex what happened? Did you manage to knee your partner in the groin? Did you have to beg for pity sex? Did either of you fart? Was there failure to launch? Did you end up with a sore back or were you interrupted by your children?

    As my contribution, I'll confess that despite my persona, I've never dominated Mr Babe - I suspect most of you might have guessed that by now. So 'fess up - we're all so busy trying to make out it was awesome - let's hear it for bad or average sex!
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    A side-effect of depression is markedly reduced libido; a side-effect of antidepressant tablets is markedly reduced libido; a side-effect of having an unusually insensitive nervous system (and therefore not usually feeling pain) is that you don't feel much sensation down there anyway.

    Put them together and I struggle even to remember the last time we had sex. What usually happens when we do, is that I get tired long before I get off. Thankfully, she gets off quickly, so she's still happy.
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    It's not easy to be honest about your real sex life - there I was struggling to think of what I could reveal without feeling embarrassed.

    Then I remembered -Mr Babe thinks sex is a great way to burn energy (and lose weight) and it is for him - but for me, not so much. I'm afraid he'll not last much longer
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    Real sex? Thought you were going to talk about the HBO series on late night TV.

    Sex to me is just another way to be intimate with my soul mate. Whether we are actually copulating or not, the intimacy of being close together and enjoying the warmth of each other is very soothing and satisfying.

    In my younger days intense physical sex was incredible, a couple of hours when the foreplay was hot and languishing in the afterglows were the bookends to passionate fucking.

    Prostate cancer and the treatments needed to beat it have changed our sex lives considerably. Menopause and a hysterectomy put a new spin on sex for my wife as well.

    One "real" sex when my wife was treating me to a delightfully slow blowjob during a bout of good ole 69, I was so relaxed that I let a real stinky fart out her face was right there. She broke stride long enough to tell me that if it happened again, my cock would be a few inches shorter. Needless to say, I was much more careful after that, knowing that I could ill afford any loss to the willy.
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    I have to agree with you on the intimacy, Tenguy. Sometimes sex is just a physical need, more usually when you are young - but the whole process is for us right now, a way of tuning in to each other.

    We spend a couple of hours just building up - bathing, relaxing, a little alcohol, discussing the latest family crisis or domestic issue so that we're all debriefed (pun partly intended) and able to fully relax before the final release. We're also not hung up on who gets off when - if it doesn't happen, it's no big deal and we've usually had fun trying. We're very happy that at our age and after such a long time together, the sex is pretty good
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    I usually try to have sex in the shower, more often than not it seems like i'm being spontaneous or fun, but it's mainly because I don't like to make a mess.
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  7. #7
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    I've never understood some people's obsession with bodily fluids either - we usually mop up straight after. Many's the time when I think at a crucial moment 'Shit, where's the tissues?' or had to stretch or scramble for the box.
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    We have unfortunately gotten to the point where we have been together for 20+ years and the honeymoon stage of "I can't keep my hands off you" has long past. The days of spontaneous sex seem to be over. We are both busy and stressed with work, kids, household issues, as well as my health issues factor in, so one of us isn't in the mood on a regular basis. So we now have to make a "date" for sex.

    Fortunately for me, the stars aligned last Saturday, at 1:00am.


    I have to say, though we might not be having sex as much, I think the intimacy is more. We find ways to say "I love you" with actions, words, and just being together, instead of physically.
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    Quote Originally Posted by N.E. Woman View Post
    ... I have to say, though we might not be having sex as much, I think the intimacy is more. We find ways to say "I love you" with actions, words, and just being together, instead of physically.
    That's one of the most beautiful things I've read for a long time.

    You nailed it, too. While hot monkey sex is great, as we mature, life sometimes gets in the way of it. One of the hottest things in a long-term relationship is the look that says, "I love you in spite of everything. Maybe because of it."

    If you feel that from your partner, it's all good.
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    Well I've been married over 20 years also and still have some pretty hot sex. The difference is we usually only do it Saturday and Sunday where it was pretty much something every night when we were younger. Is it great? While the days of uncontrollable sexual rage when getting together has long past, we love and know each other well enough that we can still get each other off. It's all good.

    Just don't tell the missus I still jerk off everyday while she is at work. I call it "Happy Hour."
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    Quote Originally Posted by wantsomefun View Post
    That's one of the most beautiful things I've read for a long time.
    Thank you

    Quote Originally Posted by wantsomefun View Post
    You nailed it, too. While hot monkey sex is great, as we mature, life sometimes gets in the way of it. One of the hottest things in a long-term relationship is the look that says, "I love you in spite of everything. Maybe because of it."
    I agree. It's great to know that he has always wanted ME. I'm not talking about literally, although he still finds me attractive even after all these years. I'm talking about I know to my soul that he would never, ever want another woman. He has been to strip clubs, bachelor parties, he travels for work, and in every situation where temptation might be found. He never looks at any other woman for physical gratification.

    Quote Originally Posted by wantsomefun View Post
    If you feel that from your partner, it's all good.
    Now if I could just get him to put his damn dishes in the dishwasher instead of the sink, life would be perfect.
    "Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy." Henry Kissinger

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  13. #13
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    Bump - any RL stories to tell? No bragging, just your average everyday or substandard no frills sex?
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    see the thing is i'm a bit of a sexual deviant

    because of this allot of my sexual story's are less armature.

    I will tell you this one I was going down on my girl when the dog pushed the door open so I had to stop and throw it back out.
    I then resumed my original task when the phone rang and interrupted again.
    back to my original task when there was a knock at the door.
    fuck
    I may be bad but im perfectly good at it
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    Quote Originally Posted by N.E. Woman View Post
    Now if I could just get him to put his damn dishes in the dishwasher instead of the sink, life would be perfect.
    I'm sure you never, ever, ever borrowed his razor or left "hand washables" hanging over the shower rod, did you? Sounds like you two have it figured out.



    Possibly one of my worst sexual experiences came fairly early, in the "parked cars" stage of my education and development. My girlfriend and I weren't as clever at finding a secluded spot as we thought. We were in the back seat, and our clothes were on the floor when the cop's flashlight lit up the interior.

    He made us get dressed and put us in the back of his car for a lecture. Basically, he told us to get condoms or put her on the pill, and find a better place to play.

    Kinda killed the mood for the evening.
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    Two more....

    NE Man and I were particulary passionate one night and we were brought back to the days of having monkey sex on a regular basis. So that night we tried positions that I think a person would had to have been a professional yoga master to perform. For the following WEEK, I was walking with a limp because I had pulled a muscle in my hip!



    A few years ago we got a puppy. I walked into my bedroom one day and noticed her chewing on something. When I went to investigate what she was playing with.... I realized it was my diaphragm.

    I guess this says something about my sense of humor.... Needless to say, the diaphragm was never used for it's original purpose again, but I did let the dog continue to use it as a toy...
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  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heyesey View Post
    A side-effect of depression is markedly reduced libido; a side-effect of antidepressant tablets is markedly reduced libido; a side-effect of having an unusually insensitive nervous system (and therefore not usually feeling pain) is that you don't feel much sensation down there anyway.

    Put them together and I struggle even to remember the last time we had sex. What usually happens when we do, is that I get tired long before I get off. Thankfully, she gets off quickly, so she's still happy.
    Stress and pain increase the need for sex. May have to do with oxytocin
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  19. #19
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    my wife and i have been married for almost 3 years but together for almost 8 1/2 years, she was inexperienced when we met and was not adventurous and since i had already been married all the freaky shit was out of my system
    ive been with 2 women in my life and even when we were younger i saw sex as more than the act it was the connection
    if the hearts and minds are not one it is just excersice
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  20. #20
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    I've had my share of 'just pull my nightie down when you're done' moments - 'in the middle of the night' moments, and years of sex crammed into the spare moments in the morning or evening when the kids were asleep. I'm so glad we have time to ourselves at last, and we can take our time, make as much noise as we like, where we like and when we like. I'm proud that in our fiftes we're still having sex twice a week - never mind that I need battery power to 'get' anywhere.

    Oh and I did once utter the words 'is it in yet?' the first time after the birth of our first child - Mr Babe was not amused
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    we have a total of 12 people living in one 4200 square foot house
    no such thing as privacy unless we are both awake and not working and have energy to go to my office in the car barn
    so its been almost 3 weeks and no-one is complaining
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    Quote Originally Posted by cijababe View Post
    I've had my share of 'just pull my nightie down when you're done' moments - 'in the middle of the night' moments, and years of sex crammed into the spare moments in the morning or evening when the kids were asleep. I'm so glad we have time to ourselves at last, and we can take our time, make as much noise as we like, where we like and when we like. I'm proud that in our fiftes we're still having sex twice a week - never mind that I need battery power to 'get' anywhere.

    Oh and I did once utter the words 'is it in yet?' the first time after the birth of our first child - Mr Babe was not amused
    There is nothing wrong with battery power. I have two "happy drawers" in my bed side table. They contain everything from movies to lotions to my favorite toy.... "The Hitachi Magic Wand". BTW, NE Man likes the vibrations it makes too, and it's electric, so no running low on batteries.

    As for saying "is it in yet"..... I had a boyfriend back in high school. I think he would have been my third serious relationship, so everything was pretty new to me. One problem was when we had sex, I remember thinking just that phrase.

    Funny and gross portion of this tale....
    I came home from a date and while I was getting ready for bed, I felt something odd hanging between my legs. I reached down and pulled the condom we had used that night, the rest of the way out.

    I hope he's doing well these days and is with either someone who doesn't know any better, someone who doesn't care, or a midget that would think he was "just right".
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    Quote Originally Posted by cijababe View Post
    As my contribution, I'll confess that despite my persona, I've never dominated Mr Babe - I suspect most of you might have guessed that by now. So 'fess up - we're all so busy trying to make out it was awesome - let's hear it for bad or average sex!
    Damn, there goes another wank fantasy!

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    NEW - I have a battery powered magic wand - I find the vibrations too powerful. First time I used it I nearly hit the ceiling, and not in a good way. It either makes me sore or numb.

    There must be an engineer somewhere willing to do some experiments on the type of vibration used in sex toys - I'm no expert but a lower frequency maybe? I get the feeling that despite the variation in strength and rhythm, the motors used are pretty standard.

    And Thinskin - sorry to burst your bubble
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    Quote Originally Posted by cijababe View Post
    NEW - I have a battery powered magic wand - I find the vibrations too powerful. First time I used it I nearly hit the ceiling, and not in a good way. It either makes me sore or numb.

    There must be an engineer somewhere willing to do some experiments on the type of vibration used in sex toys - I'm no expert but a lower frequency maybe? I get the feeling that despite the variation in strength and rhythm, the motors used are pretty standard.

    And Thinskin - sorry to burst your bubble
    Try a tea towel between you and the magic wand.....

    .....and Cija you did not burst my bubble it was a fantasy, just like the unicorn.

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  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by cijababe View Post
    NEW - I have a battery powered magic wand - I find the vibrations too powerful. First time I used it I nearly hit the ceiling, and not in a good way. It either makes me sore or numb.

    There must be an engineer somewhere willing to do some experiments on the type of vibration used in sex toys - I'm no expert but a lower frequency maybe? I get the feeling that despite the variation in strength and rhythm, the motors used are pretty standard.

    And Thinskin - sorry to burst your bubble
    When I got the wand, I also bought an attachment that you plug the wand into, then into the wall socket. It has a frequency knob that allows you to adjust the vibrating from slight to outrageous. I agree the wand itself has two settings that are both too high for continuous stimulation. I tried using it by itself and almost broke my clit.

    I'm sure many places sell this device, but I got mine on a**z*n.com

    As for the engineering comment.... Can you imagine the number of women, or men, who would line up for the chance to "test" the latest and greatest gadgets in the adult entertainment genre??? Ohh what a happy job!
    Last edited by N.E. Woman; 07-25-2013 at 06:45 PM.
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  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by N.E. Woman View Post
    When I got the wand, I also bought an attachment that you plug the wand into, then into the wall socket. It has a frequency knob that allows you to adjust the vibrating from slight to outrageous. I agree the wand itself has two settings that are both too high for continuous stimulation. I tried using it by itself and almost broke my clit.

    I'm sure many places sell this device, but I got mine on a**z*n.com

    As for the engineering comment.... Can you imagine the number of women, or men, who would line up for the chance to "test" the latest and greatest gadgets in the adult entertainment genre??? Ohh what a happy job!
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  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by N.E. Woman View Post
    When I got the wand, I also bought an attachment that you plug the wand into, then into the wall socket. It has a frequency knob that allows you to adjust the vibrating from slight to outrageous. I agree the wand itself has two settings that are both too high for continuous stimulation. I tried using it by itself and almost broke my clit.

    I'm sure many places sell this device, but I got mine on a**z*n.com

    As for the engineering comment.... Can you imagine the number of women, or men, who would line up for the chance to "test" the latest and greatest gadgets in the adult entertainment genre??? Ohh what a happy job!


    PS now I want an electric one!

    Quote Originally Posted by tenguy View Post
    Doesn't a tongue do a better job?
    Yes, kind of - but I personally can't get off that way any more
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    Quote Originally Posted by N.E. Woman View Post
    ... Can you imagine the number of women, or men, who would line up for the chance to "test" the latest and greatest gadgets in the adult entertainment genre??? Ohh what a happy job!
    Why do you think I spend so much time in my workshop?

    Don't forget, a good scientific test of a woman's response to a new toy needs a control.

    Heh. Heh. Heh.


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    So - last time you had sex what happened? Did you manage to knee your partner in the groin? Did you have to beg for pity sex? Did either of you fart? Was there failure to launch? Did you end up with a sore back or were you interrupted by your children?


    So once my wife and I were not exactly melding in regards to our sexual desires; which is true of our relationship most of the time anyway. But at this particular time, I was begging and paying her for sex more than she was simply offering it to me. Finally one evening she must have sensed my agitation or frustration, and actually seduced me to the bedroom for an early evening encounter. Unfortunately, that was about as much effort as she had intended to put into the encounter. My "little soldier" was very willing to stand at attention and perform, but after about two minutes inside, she looked up and said, "Don't worry about me, just hurry up and take care of your business." Well, my "little soldier decided to go AWOL after that; completely refusing to offer salute.
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    Quote Originally Posted by cijababe View Post
    After reading through some of the posts in the thread about the proposed ban on porn in the UK, I thought I'd start off a tribute to Real Sex.
    Here is my contribution to the tribute:-

    Real sex bonds, relaxes, lets you enjoy gently making your partner feel good physically and appreciated and loved. Real sex at our age also has to be planned ~(make sure the kids are out,find the lube, disconnect the phones, get the bedroom warm enough so you can leave the bedclothes off) and carefully considered (are your joints flexible enough today love? yes, just about and can you manage today?) . Its also important that we can laugh if things go wrong (cramp, noises, urgent delivery at door) and be content if one of us can't cum or prefers just touch to a fuck. Real sex is when you have a few comfortable preferred positions that you are happy to repeat time and time again without getting bored with each other, but can still experiment when the mood takes you. Real sex leaves you content in a way, but still wanting more of the same.

    There used to be a regular contributor on this forum who posted loving amateur vids, sadly long since deleted. So porn doesn't have to be the depraved stuff that gives the kids the wrong idea. To my mind we need to permit porn that is fun and educational yet stop kids from seeing stuff that makes them unsatisfied with what comes naturally.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Torodon View Post
    So - last time you had sex what happened? Did you manage to knee your partner in the groin? Did you have to beg for pity sex? Did either of you fart? Was there failure to launch? Did you end up with a sore back or were you interrupted by your children?


    So once my wife and I were not exactly melding in regards to our sexual desires; which is true of our relationship most of the time anyway. But at this particular time, I was begging and paying her for sex more than she was simply offering it to me. Finally one evening she must have sensed my agitation or frustration, and actually seduced me to the bedroom for an early evening encounter. Unfortunately, that was about as much effort as she had intended to put into the encounter. My "little soldier" was very willing to stand at attention and perform, but after about two minutes inside, she looked up and said, "Don't worry about me, just hurry up and take care of your business." Well, my "little soldier decided to go AWOL after that; completely refusing to offer salute.
    Ouch - I hope I was never guilty of being insensitive like that - though there were many times when Mr Babe was more eager than I. Thankfully our libidos match at last

    Quote Originally Posted by SuffolkMan View Post
    Here is my contribution to the tribute:-

    Real sex bonds, relaxes, lets you enjoy gently making your partner feel good physically and appreciated and loved. Real sex at our age also has to be planned ~(make sure the kids are out,find the lube, disconnect the phones, get the bedroom warm enough so you can leave the bedclothes off) and carefully considered (are your joints flexible enough today love? yes, just about and can you manage today?) . Its also important that we can laugh if things go wrong (cramp, noises, urgent delivery at door) and be content if one of us can't cum or prefers just touch to a fuck. Real sex is when you have a few comfortable preferred positions that you are happy to repeat time and time again without getting bored with each other, but can still experiment when the mood takes you. Real sex leaves you content in a way, but still wanting more of the same.

    There used to be a regular contributor on this forum who posted loving amateur vids, sadly long since deleted. So porn doesn't have to be the depraved stuff that gives the kids the wrong idea. To my mind we need to permit porn that is fun and educational yet stop kids from seeing stuff that makes them unsatisfied with what comes naturally.
    Very pertinent, thankyou

    I think our electricity bills have suffered from our encounters (hot bath, warm bedroom)
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  33. #33
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    As an older dude with an older gf our sex is not that "fireworks" sex that I had when I was younger. But in many ways it is better. We kiss long and passionately which always gets me hard. She fondles/plays with my cock. I usually give her an oral orgasm then fuck her missionary or from behind. We wipe up and cuddle then fall asleep. We do this sometimes four days in a row and then may not do it for four days, depending on our busy lives.

    I come to XNXX to wack off to kink but the Real Sex I get is good.
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  34. #34
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    This thread doesn't belong in Sexuality........have read through it and there's some funny stuff here, it definitely belongs back in GD where life isn't so serious and more can have a good giggle.
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  35. #35
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    Thankyou Magpie

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  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by 69magpie View Post
    This thread doesn't belong in Sexuality........have read through it and there's some funny stuff here, it definitely belongs back in GD where life isn't so serious and more can have a good giggle.
    Also this thread is kept out of the way of Hank5, and his over-zealous attitude to circumcision.
    As quoted by a fellow member of this forum... "I may disagree with what you say, but I will defend your right to say it..."
    As posted by 33blacknshym..."I mistook your incest story to be an underage story, so I apologizes for that!"
    As posted by Billblondel344...Chris, I agree with you this one time..Bill
    As posted by Distant Lover...I have a confession to make, I have never read The Bell Curve..
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  37. #37
    Captain Jizz
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    Real sex, what real sex.....I've been an involuntary celibate for 28 years...add the effect of anti-depress/anxiety meds and radiation treatment on prostate and forecast is not good for the future...but imagination: and some dirty females on here wil keep me sane and merely extremely frustrated....feeling lonely only inches from your partner is the absolute pits
    Last edited by sullygom; 07-26-2013 at 10:59 AM.
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  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by sullygom View Post
    Real sex, what real sex.....I've been an involuntary celibate for 28 years...add the effect of anti-depress/anxiety meds and radiation treatment on prostate and forecast is not good for the future...but imagination: and some dirty females on here wil keep me sane and merely extremely frustrated....feeling lonely only inches from your partner is the absolute pits
    Sully, my sympathy. Went through the radiation and hormone treatments a couple of years ago. Besides growing moobs and getting the unpredictable hot flash every now and then, sex was not high on the interest scale.

    BUT, I discovered that I had other appendages that could be substituted to bring pleasure to my bedmate, which in turn brought me pleasure. BTW, that discovery quickly followed a, not so gentle, reminder that I had certain duties to perform.

    No one person is exactly the same as another, we all have quirks and occasionally malfunctioning parts.
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  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by cijababe View Post
    Bump - any RL stories to tell? No bragging, just your average everyday or substandard no frills sex?
    Well you can call BS if you want but it is the truth...I laughed when you asked the last time because about 3 weeks ago a very attractive lady about 44 at my local pub, was sitting by herself. She was on her smart phone the next table over from about 5 of us but she was laughing from time to time when she heard us talking.

    I had never seen her there before and asked her to join us and bought her a drink. As time moved on we all drank more as some left the table for home. It was a afternoon happy hour on the patio. Well it had gotten dark, it was just she and me and she was drunk. Way too drunk to drive home.

    I told her she should come home with me, about 10 blocks away and sober up some before driving home. I fixed her a mountain dew and we smoked some killer weed I have. WOW, she attacked me sexualy. We were both nude on my couch and she was a squirter --Like I have never seen before..

    No details but we fucked and played for around 2 hours but she must have came 6 times squirting a lot each time.....she ruined my leather couch. A $1,200 couch...I wish I had a camera running because I think she could win a squirter contest. Well, after about 3 hours I took back to her car....she texted to say she got home and thanks for all the fun.....she had said she had a boyfriend and we have not talked since.

    That was the last time....

    I like an intimate relationship but have not had one in over 5 years...
    My last marriage ended in 1978 and now at 64 I doubt I have another close partnership with someone I love.

    I don't get near as much pussy as I once did and I don't really care.

    I seem to be happy just buying blowjobs from
    young girls who are looking for some extra cash.
    Lots cheaper than leather couches.
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  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by RandyKnight View Post
    I seem to be happy just buying blowjobs from
    young girls who are looking for some extra cash.
    Lots cheaper than leather couches.

    I can't help you with any sex but give this a try on your leather sofa. It should fix it.

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