Farther into the tale of me being a 24 year old, living in a retirement home of sex, here is another true tale, a prequel if you will, of a different roommate; a 69 year old man with only one ear (piss poor hearing) named Elder. Elder and I got along much better than my new big black Bubba roommate. He was the one who introduced me to the home and the way it works, showed me around the neighborhood. We walked to places like the Wal-Greens up the street or the Family Dollar around the block. We would kind of have this thing where every other time each one of us would treat the other to some chocolate candy or something. He was always telling me stories, I mean just really rambling on like a bipolar mind would. I would listen. I'd tell him a story or two when the opportunity came up and I do mean "or two" (or three) because he was nearly deaf and I'd have to repeat myself. Age being our one big difference, we had a lot in common. We were from small towns, more really out in the country (I was from a ranch, he was from a farm) actually far from the town. It was just the towns that we had to identify ourselves with when people asked where we were from. Geographical location to us country boys was more so were we went to high school and went shopping. We both had went to grade schools out in the country of only seven or eight kids. I really like the guy, AS A FRIEND. The longer I lived there, the more annoying his same stories would become as I was really just trying to spend time with my true lifemate (the computer), but either way, we got along pretty good. After a year, I had heard everything that Elder had to say, and I was just in the habbit of blocking out what he had to say as I lay on my bed typing away on my laptop. One dark day, he decided to show me his VHS stash of porn. One man, one chick, regular sex... Maybe Elder isn't so bad after all. Then the man in the video ate his own creampie (semen) as it dripped out of the girl... Strange, but I can dig it. It's a little gay, but I think I've seen worse, I have the internet. So I thought of a good porno to show him. At the time, I had Ogenki Clinic (don't ask) on my harddrive. It's a Japanese anime porn and I think it's just hilarious, so we watched all the episodes. Of course, Elder wanted to talk the whole time. I was too busy paying attention to the hilarious talking Japanese dick, with a mustache. Elder's hand was on my leg. I pulled away. He's def, so I basically have to speak with my body language. The problem is, when I am that uncomfortable, I just smile. So I can see how that can be misinterpreted, but whatever... Life went on as usual for another month. Then another dark day, he decides to show me some more porn... Gay porn. I've seen a lot of things, but I've always been too homophobic to watch a porno without a female in it. Five or more guys maybe, but at least one female is required to be in the middle. I don't even like watching a man eating a chick out (chick eating a chick out is good), let alone a man getting pounded in the ass with cum all over his face. Ok, that's it. I know what Elder is trying to do, that old bastard. This is just a gross out contest. He's so old and Alzheimers riddled, that he doesn't even watch porn for the sex anymore. Ok: I have an idea. I'll show him the famous internet porn where two girls eat feces and barf on eachother. He just smiled and said: Is that ice cream?
Damn, he's not budged. I've got this 1970's German one on my hard drive that has a two girls with an eel, two girls with a horse, two girls with a dog, and for the finaly: a man with a chicken. I'm ashamed that I have this, but if anything can win this gross out contest, it has to be this. So we watched it.
"That reminds me of a story about how I found out was sex was as boy." he started rambling. I thought I've heard all of his stories, so I'm not really paying attention. "I used to watch bulls having sex rabble rabble rabble, then they had babies, rabble rabble, discovered what sex was and played with my younger brother rabble you and me should rabble first with clothes rabble rabble you know and then without clothes."
He sat on the bed next to me and whispered, "Do you want to play pool (he said bull instead of pool apparently)?"
There is a pool table in the basement of the home, so I was like: Ok. Nod.
"I'm going to mount you from behind." He climbed on top of me and started humping. Being startled by it, I pushed him to the ground.

(boundaries; Elder and I need some boundaries. He's no longer my roommate after that, but I miss the guy. I MISS HIM AS A FRIEND)