Learning how to smile (no sexual content - Rated G) CAW11

[Cheltenham]

She wanders through my mind, down a darkened street. Haunting me in her search for that moment when it all went awry.

We were in seventh grade together. I recall a warm day at the end of the summer when we received our class schedules. Most of us were split up. My then girlfriend, Jamie, a blond haired beauty was in a classroom which like mine and another friend's were located in three trailers in the back of our school. There wasn't any room in the existing school to fit us inside.

Well, I'm guessing my teachers wrote quite a file up on Jamie and I because we rarely saw each other. It was the most vile thing a person could possibly do, to keep two teens from forming a bond beyond that of friends. I wished I was able to eliminate every single one of those teachers from sapping my oxygen and food because they'd all be better off.

I saw her about a week into school's mundane routine and I wanted nothing more than to abandon all reason and toss her onto the grassy lawn, beneath me, and do what humans had been doing, for ages, to procreate. But I couldn't. It wasn't for a lack of desire. Because in your teens there is no such thing as restraint. Hormones are surging and you really don't have control over your actions. I was reluctant because I was socially inept. I was foolish. I thought I had all the time in the world, in hindsight I didn't.

She returned my smile with one of her own and went about the rest of her day. At around lunchtime, we had seats right beside each other at opposite tables. They were the ones that folded up at the middle and stacked inside of prefabricated notches in the walls when the time came to clean up. There happened to be two long benches that ran the length of the eating surface. We'd take every chance there was to turn around and chat, even if it involved someone else.

Before it was time to leave, I used to leave lunch. I'd make an excuse that I had to see a teacher. No matter how many times I tried or wanted Jamie to come and follow me into the hall, it didn't happen. I failed. Because I'd have poured my heart out to her. At least I hoped I would. I thought that for some reason I'd find, what I'd tell her, somehow and in some way I could change the course of my life. Maybe she'd be my wife, like I always imagined. White picket fences and two point two kids. The whole nine yards. None of that was to be.

We had a close enough relationship earlier on. Throughout our younger years, we spent nearly every afternoon at school folding the flag together. I particularly enjoyed meeting her at the middle. We were too young to know, by society's standards, what love was. But touching hands and interlocking our fingers once the flag was put away properly meant more than anything I ever could have held dear. My heart leapt with excitement when I breathed her in.

Think of the scent of a warm, sunny day and freshly cut flowers. Only then might you know the joys that were the start of my unraveling.

I'd like to tell you that it got better after that. It didn't.

[Forever Whatever]

Heart breaking little story here. The paragraph about the flag-folding was the best, I think, at capturing what the narrator felt for her. At first it felt out of place, here near the end. I wondered if it would have been better closer to the beginning to perhaps set up their relationship even more. But I don't know. "... the joys that were the start of my unraveling" -- beautiful phrase.

I enjoyed reading it. There is just no heartbreak like that in middle school.

Good luck with the competition, but in my mind you've already won something just by submitting.

[Daddycums]

Sad story. I like happy endings, so I doubt I'll vote for it in the CAW, but don't let that discourage you. I thought your prose was beautiful and you maintained a yearning sense of emotion throughout. So my only complaint isn't about your abilities as a writer, merely your choice of subject matter.

Let me also say that yours is probably the first story I've read that changes tenses in the middle and gets away with it! Your present tense in the first paragraph sets up the rest of the story as a memory, which naturally sets the tone perfectly. You did exactly what you set out to do.

Could have used more sex though, but that's just my opinion.

[snowleopard3200]

Wonderful and poingent story you have written; it veils much about itself in love that may have been and may never be. It ended with a sad note, yet in a means that leaves a door of mystery to be explored by the author if it is ever opened.

Well done.

[ELaken-Palmer]

Very good. Very haunting.

[Wee Hector]

An excellent non-sexual story which proves the quality of writing coming through on XNXX. The tone reflects the foreboding nature of the photo with the girl walking away and the idea that there is no happy ending, but leaving the reader the leeway to imagine that maybe in the future it may change.

Even without entries from ejls and ELP, CAW 11 is looking strong and deciding whom to vote for is getting harder with each story that I read.
This is definitely high up on my list of favourites.

[Hornycountryboy]

Wow, each story I read is very well done, this leave so much to the imagination, like why were the teachers keeping them separated? Why didn't they just sit next to each other at lunch? It also makes you wonder how much harder did it get for them, and did it ever get better? I have a lot of questions for this story, but I agree with Forever Whatever in saying the flag folding part was great in capturing what he felt for her. Very well done, and good luck!

[ejls]

Oh Cheltenham, this was such a sad tale. Like other stories I've read, I want more. I want to know what happened, even if it was sad. Did he find love? Did he simply pine for the one that got away? Was he ever really happy again? I guess I'll never know.

I enjoy your stories and this was a refreshing change of pace. Very sad, but very good.

[ejls]

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[Wee Hector]

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[Twistedsister]

Bump

[ejls]

[Cheltenham]

Originally Posted by Forever Whatever

Heart breaking little story here. The paragraph about the flag-folding was the best, I think, at capturing what the narrator felt for her. At first it felt out of place, here near the end. I wondered if it would have been better closer to the beginning to perhaps set up their relationship even more. But I don't know. "... the joys that were the start of my unraveling" -- beautiful phrase.

I enjoyed reading it. There is just no heartbreak like that in middle school.

Good luck with the competition, but in my mind you've already won something just by submitting.

This is the first thing I've written in a while. Besides a couple of requests, I decided to put this into print. But it isn't the whole story.

Maybe one day I'll put together all of the pieces I've written and publish them. I just need the motivation. Thanks for reading.

Originally Posted by Daddycums

Sad story. I like happy endings, so I doubt I'll vote for it in the CAW, but don't let that discourage you. I thought your prose was beautiful and you maintained a yearning sense of emotion throughout. So my only complaint isn't about your abilities as a writer, merely your choice of subject matter.

Let me also say that yours is probably the first story I've read that changes tenses in the middle and gets away with it! Your present tense in the first paragraph sets up the rest of the story as a memory, which naturally sets the tone perfectly. You did exactly what you set out to do.

Could have used more sex though, but that's just my opinion.

Well I value your opinion DC. I tried and tried to write more of this story but it wasn't successful. You never know. I'm working on putting these vignettes together so they'll see the light of day soon enough. Thanks for reading

Originally Posted by snowleopard3200

Wonderful and poingent story you have written; it veils much about itself in love that may have been and may never be. It ended with a sad note, yet in a means that leaves a door of mystery to be explored by the author if it is ever opened.

Well done.

I'm glad you picked up on that. Yeah, those are sad memories. I wouldn't wish pain like that on anyone. I've been told that it isn't the worst thing I could have experienced, relative to my age it was the end of the world from my point of view. I don't think I can publish how it all ended. Maybe that's what is stopping me from writing too much about it. Thanks for reading

Originally Posted by ELaken-Palmer

Very good. Very haunting.

You see? If only we received these kinds of comments on the stories site...

Thanks for reading

Originally Posted by Wee Hector

An excellent non-sexual story which proves the quality of writing coming through on XNXX. The tone reflects the foreboding nature of the photo with the girl walking away and the idea that there is no happy ending, but leaving the reader the leeway to imagine that maybe in the future it may change.

Even without entries from ejls and ELP, CAW 11 is looking strong and deciding whom to vote for is getting harder with each story that I read.
This is definitely high up on my list of favourites.

It is nice to know that you read my story. I'm particularly impressed by your entry too. I think you did a very god job on it and the time you spent writing it truly shows in the quality of your work. Thanks for reading

Originally Posted by Hornycountryboy

Wow, each story I read is very well done, this leave so much to the imagination, like why were the teachers keeping them separated? Why didn't they just sit next to each other at lunch? It also makes you wonder how much harder did it get for them, and did it ever get better? I have a lot of questions for this story, but I agree with Forever Whatever in saying the flag folding part was great in capturing what he felt for her. Very well done, and good luck!

I hoped that by including such scenes that a few readers could relate to folding a flag. It is done a lot in the US and much of my feedback comes from Americans, oddly. Again, I intended to make this entry longer than it turned out. Hopefully I'll get around to writing up a longer version. Thanks for reading

Originally Posted by ejls

Oh Cheltenham, this was such a sad tale. Like other stories I've read, I want more. I want to know what happened, even if it was sad. Did he find love? Did he simply pine for the one that got away? Was he ever really happy again? I guess I'll never know.

I enjoy your stories and this was a refreshing change of pace. Very sad, but very good.

Another writer I'm proud to see reading.

I think seeing how much people want to know what happened is going to get me out of this writing slump I've been in.

See above. I do have a version of this story that I have yet to write. Though it will take some time to get it just right. Thanks for reading

[Hornycountryboy]

Bump

[Hornycountryboy]

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[ahorsewithnoname]

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[ahorsewithnoname]

motherfucking bump to get these stories to the top and JoeFuckheadDirty (and his little troll pornvision) below

[Wee Hector]

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[Hornycountryboy]

All aboard the bump train! Choo choo!

[DoyleGentry]

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[darthel0101]

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[Dizzyworks673]

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[Cheltenham]

Originally Posted by ahorsewithnoname

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Originally Posted by DoyleGentry

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Originally Posted by darthel0101

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Originally Posted by Dizzyworks673

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And no comments were from any of you, though you visited the thread to bump it?

It makes a lot of fucking sense.

[ELaken-Palmer]

You are right. People just seem to be bumping for the sake of bumping. It helps keep the stories up but what we look for is more readers and more comments. This was a good effort and a very poignant and moving tale.

Maybe the bumpers should write a little comment instead of just the word "bump"?

[Cheltenham]

Originally Posted by ELaken-Palmer

You are right. People just seem to be bumping for the sake of bumping. It helps keep the stories up but what we look for is more readers and more comments. This was a good effort and a very poignant and moving tale.

Maybe the bumpers should write a little comment instead of just the word "bump"?

It's the idea that a person found the thread, clicked 'post reply' and typed four letters before they pressed 'submit reply'.

I wonder how much effort it would take to give an opinion of the story that they're spamming with the word "bump". It reminds me of having plowed the snow from a freshly paved road and seeing it pock-marked with craters.

[Dizzyworks673]

Bump

[curiousscouser]

Beautifully written Cheltenham, as your stories always are, but I'm left with so many questions it's driving me mad!
I really hope you do write more on this in future, I'd love to know more about the characters, how they came to be in that situation, why they're being kept apart, and how it ends.

[Dizzyworks673]

Bump

[Cheltenham]

Originally Posted by curiousscouser

Beautifully written Cheltenham, as your stories always are, but I'm left with so many questions it's driving me mad!
I really hope you do write more on this in future, I'd love to know more about the characters, how they came to be in that situation, why they're being kept apart, and how it ends.

Thank you for your comment

I was hoping it would spark some interest in the series. I wanted to get it all written and post everything at once, but I'm including things like the above as teasers.

I'm happy that it's well received. This will motivate me to get the rest down on paper.

[ahorsewithnoname]

Last weekend of voting bump!

[Hornycountryboy]

One last push!

[Cheltenham]

I guess those that bumped without commenting are the equivalent of the voters that cast their negatives anonymously.

To each their own.

[thesilent1]

Cheltenham, I like your use of the picture for your CAW 11 story. This story is a little sad, but I wish that you had to time to write a little more. I would like to know how he meet Julie. I like how you had written this story with such emotion and you just can't help to want better for the character.