Things Not to say during Sex - Page 23

hardoneforgirl · 05-25-2012, 10:43 PM

I forgot the lube, do you still want it up your ass?

armivilla28 · 06-02-2012, 08:31 AM

*sings* 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer..if one of those bottles happen to fall..98 bottles of beer on the wall....

shriefox · 06-02-2012, 08:38 AM

This Your First Time .......... Right ?

ChrisUnderdog · 06-02-2012, 09:49 AM

Have you ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?

Furred Goddess · 06-02-2012, 05:54 PM

"I think I am falling in love with **insert name that isn't your partner*." Insta mood killer.... and true story. **glares at her boyfriend**

SensualRobin · 06-02-2012, 06:22 PM

So have you ever had a case of crabs before?

the_hitman · 06-02-2012, 06:23 PM

These were the best 5 seconds of my life!

SensualRobin · 06-02-2012, 06:31 PM

*takes on scary voice* Heeeeere's JOHNNY!

minerva_x · 07-05-2012, 08:53 AM

Why is your cock bigger than my clit???

Euroguy · 07-05-2012, 08:55 AM

Am i as good as my brother?

thecaptian · 07-05-2012, 09:22 AM

Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?

sullygom · 07-05-2012, 11:06 AM

Celine Dion

Buzz Killington · 07-05-2012, 11:13 AM

ugh..

Pussy Shark · 07-05-2012, 01:31 PM

The doctor says it's not contagious.....

sullygom · 07-05-2012, 01:37 PM

Ceeeeeeline Dion !!!!

BeastlySoul · 08-12-2012, 06:22 PM

"Whatever you do, don't fall asleep," - Nightmare on Elm Street

luvkinkystories · 08-12-2012, 09:07 PM

oh ..hey....who are you again?

Bend Over Backwards · 08-13-2012, 01:21 PM

Did I remember to feed the dog before I left home?

armivilla28 · 10-08-2012, 05:56 AM

if u poke ur dick in mine u may feel a pinch-- dont worry about that! its just my tweezer stuck in there since last week!

NewtonInk · 10-08-2012, 06:06 AM

I think it's stuck.

Bluebabygurl420 · 10-08-2012, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thecaptian

Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?

this quote was the answer I finally gave my ex-boyfriend when I dropped him. Can't help but laugh when I realize he went from saying "who's your daddy?" to asking his daddy & new wife to stop moaning where the neighbors can hear..

GayGuy40 · 10-08-2012, 09:21 AM

I see dead people.

baller16 · 10-08-2012, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bluebabygurl420

this quote was the answer I finally gave my ex-boyfriend when I dropped him. Can't help but laugh when I realize he went from saying "who's your daddy?" to asking his daddy & new wife to stop moaning where the neighbors can hear..

You should've waited an extra 3 minutes to post that :P

My quote: Ahhh...Ohhh...Urrgg... Sandy..err.. Mandy..err Candy? Ah fuck I don't remember!

pegasus09 · 10-08-2012, 09:40 AM

Manchester United have significantly more football pedigree than Liverpool

baller16 · 10-08-2012, 09:43 AM

Haha

Your mother is much better in bed than you. Maybe you should ask her for some pointers

Grimz · 10-08-2012, 08:19 PM

I married your gf yesterday. At Las Vegas. Don't worry, we will break up soon. After one more week of wild fucking she will be yours again.

Cattabri · 10-08-2012, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Furred Goddess

"I think I am falling in love with **insert name that isn't your partner*." Insta mood killer.... and true story. **glares at her boyfriend**

that is so uncool im sorry to hear that what an ass

Grimz · 10-08-2012, 08:27 PM

I fucked your dog.

Yaztromo · 10-08-2012, 08:48 PM

Was that it? (instant relationship death in 3 words!)

jacktro · 10-08-2012, 09:02 PM

fella

Yaztromo · 10-08-2012, 09:19 PM

bitch,

Oh no, you are supposed to say that sometimes aren't you?

whore,

No, that doesn't really work either!

slut,

No, that can be quite popular.

slag,

Ah, we have a winner! I can see no situation where someone is going to enjoy being called a slag during sex!

jacktro · 10-08-2012, 09:22 PM

lol i was just shouting out to you .....sent you a pm instead

eadz · 10-08-2012, 09:26 PM

check out this funny tweet

naughtygirl666 · 10-08-2012, 09:53 PM

Your brother was better.

Cattabri · 10-08-2012, 10:04 PM

can we have a threesome with your sister

BeastlySoul · 10-09-2012, 01:58 AM

You said you didn't mind a little herpes...right?

livdnsouth · 10-09-2012, 02:22 AM

Oh shit!....I couldn't hold back!

Lioness · 10-09-2012, 05:01 AM

You did WHAT???

JadeM · 10-09-2012, 05:20 AM

You liked that? Awesome... your Dad loves that too

Furred Goddess · 10-10-2012, 05:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cattabri

that is so uncool im sorry to hear that what an ass

Yeah... he dumped me for her... only to find out she has no interest in him. He was a cheap cyber for her. Now he is making my life and a friend's life hell.

baller16 · 10-10-2012, 05:26 AM

Have you gained weight?

ipscout · 10-10-2012, 07:22 AM

When I put my penis inside you, I will begin the ritual that will drain your soul from your body and it will become my sustenance.

hardoneforgirl · 10-10-2012, 08:19 AM

Can you sister join?

ipscout · 10-10-2012, 11:51 AM

Go back to sleep.

justaguyforfun · 10-11-2012, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Alice

It's.. alright darling. I can finish myself off.

LOL so funny.....but most probably true for many woman!!

Did you cum?

Yaztromo · 10-11-2012, 06:51 PM

Oh my God! I forgot to put the bin out!

Cattabri · 10-11-2012, 07:13 PM

oohh your pussy feels batter them my wife's

Yaztromo · 10-11-2012, 07:19 PM

Does my hair look good from that angle?

JadeM · 10-11-2012, 08:17 PM

If that dick of yours is supposed to be the star of this show.... I think I will take my chances with the stunt double

hardoneforgirl · 10-12-2012, 08:02 AM

Now where did I put that damn tv remote?

06-02-2012, 08:38 AM	#1103
shriefox Porno Junky Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Canada Posts: 334	This Your First Time .......... Right ? __________________ ŠĦƦĭĖℱōX

06-02-2012, 05:54 PM	#1105
Furred Goddess Big Beautiful Bitch Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: In the Fat Cave! Age: 32 Posts: 7,536	"I think I am falling in love with *insert name that isn't your partner." Insta mood killer.... and true story. glares at her boyfriend __________________ Twisted Oblivion's Loving Wife Lythar's Sinful Angel My Photos (fat): http://forum.xnxx.com/showthread.php?t=21598 My art thread: http://forum.xnxx.com/showthread.php?t=49296 http://www.improbableisland.com/home.php?r=Xan

06-02-2012, 06:23 PM	#1107
the_hitman Porn Star Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Wherever I may wander Posts: 1,381	These were the best 5 seconds of my life! __________________ My album http://forum.xnxx.com/album.php?albumid=15961 Looking forward to your comments and requests!

07-05-2012, 08:53 AM	#1109
minerva_x the iron butterfly Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: In the penthouse of Mt. Olympus... Posts: 7,408	Why is your cock bigger than my clit??? __________________ From my bro' Rexx <3 + Mefor's 'minime' <((("> <3 Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

07-05-2012, 08:55 AM	#1110
Euroguy Amateur Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: London Posts: 86	Am i as good as my brother? __________________ I don't cyber. I'm a man, not an online wanker!

05-25-2012, 10:43 PM	#1101
hardoneforgirl Banned! Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Oregon Age: 42 Posts: 3,121	I forgot the lube, do you still want it up your ass?

06-02-2012, 08:31 AM	#1102
armivilla28 Porn Star Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: in the 2nd circle of hell Posts: 3,165	sings 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer..if one of those bottles happen to fall..98 bottles of beer on the wall....

06-02-2012, 09:49 AM	#1104
ChrisUnderdog Newcumer Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 1	Have you ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?

06-02-2012, 06:22 PM	#1106
SensualRobin Porn Star Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: California Posts: 2,228	So have you ever had a case of crabs before?

06-02-2012, 06:31 PM	#1108
SensualRobin Porn Star Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: California Posts: 2,228	takes on scary voice Heeeeere's JOHNNY!

07-05-2012, 11:06 AM	#1112
sullygom Captain Jizz Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: UK Age: 69 Posts: 27,278	Celine Dion __________________ http://eroticinblackwhite.blogspot.com/ http://wwwthanksforthemammary.blogspot.com http://nipponfemales.blogspot.co.uk/ http://amateurasswins.blogspot.co.uk/ Krissy'shot.....and how !!!!

07-05-2012, 11:13 AM	#1113
Buzz Killington Sex Lover Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Sydney Age: 28 Posts: 134	ugh.. __________________ When I tell jokes I punch up the fuck line.

07-05-2012, 01:31 PM	#1114
Pussy Shark Porn Star Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Circling in the Water! Posts: 2,698	The doctor says it's not contagious..... __________________ Something funny personally! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtkK3eijBso Something else personal. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4hPL...feature=fvwrel Shark porn! http://video.xnxx.com/video591163/shark_fucks_whale_ 8i8

07-05-2012, 01:37 PM	#1115
sullygom Captain Jizz Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: UK Age: 69 Posts: 27,278	Ceeeeeeline Dion !!!! __________________ http://eroticinblackwhite.blogspot.com/ http://wwwthanksforthemammary.blogspot.com http://nipponfemales.blogspot.co.uk/ http://amateurasswins.blogspot.co.uk/ Krissy'shot.....and how !!!!

08-12-2012, 06:22 PM	#1116
BeastlySoul Porn Star Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: The Wild Age: 20 Posts: 2,924	"Whatever you do, don't fall asleep," - Nightmare on Elm Street __________________ Verified XNXX Male

08-12-2012, 09:07 PM	#1117
luvkinkystories Sex Machine Join Date: Jul 2012 Age: 21 Posts: 684	oh ..hey....who are you again?

08-13-2012, 01:21 PM	#1118
Bend Over Backwards Banned! Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Alone! Posts: 561	Did I remember to feed the dog before I left home?

10-08-2012, 05:56 AM	#1119
armivilla28 Porn Star Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: in the 2nd circle of hell Posts: 3,165	if u poke ur dick in mine u may feel a pinch-- dont worry about that! its just my tweezer stuck in there since last week! __________________ You must have the devil in you to succeed in any of the arts. Voltaire

10-08-2012, 06:06 AM	#1120
NewtonInk Porn Star Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 1,550	I think it's stuck. __________________ HUH?!?!?!?!?!

10-08-2012, 09:21 AM	#1122
GayGuy40 Geordie Trollop Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Kilt land Age: 43 Posts: 5,250	I see dead people. __________________ "Alcohol - The cause of and the solution to all of life's problems" Homer Simpson

10-08-2012, 09:40 AM	#1124
pegasus09 Porn Star Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: London Posts: 5,404	Manchester United have significantly more football pedigree than Liverpool __________________ I know not how to tell thee who I am She came to me on a fallen star A naughtygirl who had wondered far Skipping through my heart and mind And resting in a place none could find

10-08-2012, 09:43 AM	#1125
baller16 Banned! Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 43,253	Haha Your mother is much better in bed than you. Maybe you should ask her for some pointers

10-08-2012, 08:19 PM	#1126
Grimz Porn Star Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Somewhere by the eastern europe Age: 24 Posts: 1,080	I married your gf yesterday. At Las Vegas. Don't worry, we will break up soon. After one more week of wild fucking she will be yours again.

10-08-2012, 08:27 PM	#1128
Grimz Porn Star Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Somewhere by the eastern europe Age: 24 Posts: 1,080	I fucked your dog.

10-08-2012, 09:02 PM	#1130
jacktro Black & White Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 3,605	fella

10-08-2012, 09:22 PM	#1132
jacktro Black & White Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 3,605	lol i was just shouting out to you .....sent you a pm instead

10-08-2012, 09:26 PM	#1133
eadz Sex Lover Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Australia Age: 27 Posts: 239	check out this funny tweet __________________ Cryptic signature..which is meant for you..yes you

10-08-2012, 09:53 PM	#1134
naughtygirl666 The beautiful game's Red temptress Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: UK Posts: 12,644	Your brother was better. __________________ Ng Devilish Angel - has no keeper; is watched over by my archangel Pegasus x Mess with the bunny or grumps and you have one hell of an angry angel on your case I'm just me, if you don't like it..just keep on walking!!! Verified Woman of XNXX ^_^

10-08-2012, 10:04 PM	#1135
Cattabri Zombie Assassin Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 5,445	can we have a threesome with your sister __________________ . *Beloved of VenusInFurze* CSI = Can't Stand Idiots Verified Male of XNXX My Voice for the Lady's

10-09-2012, 01:58 AM	#1136
BeastlySoul Porn Star Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: The Wild Age: 20 Posts: 2,924	You said you didn't mind a little herpes...right? __________________ Verified XNXX Male

10-09-2012, 02:22 AM	#1137
livdnsouth Porno Junky Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Canada Posts: 292	Oh shit!....I couldn't hold back!

10-09-2012, 05:01 AM	#1138
Lioness A Fun Flirty Frisky Friendly Felion Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 37,036	You did WHAT??? __________________ If anyone was to jerk the tail of a lioness, they shouldn't be surprised if they get just a little more than a friendly nip. - freespiritx A lioness and her human: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_3H0RbTDgo I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know...just to be sure.

10-09-2012, 05:20 AM	#1139
JadeM Lost in Translation Join Date: May 2011 Location: Canada. Posts: 3,579	You liked that? Awesome... your Dad loves that too __________________ Common Sense should be considered a Super Power, because it is not common at all. Naite kurasu mo issho, waratte kurasu mo issho. (It is the same life, whether we spend it crying or laughing) All my story submissions can be found at: http://stories.xnxx.com/profile523497/ CAW#13 Winner XNXX Recommended Writers List

10-10-2012, 05:26 AM	#1141
baller16 Banned! Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 43,253	Have you gained weight?

10-10-2012, 07:22 AM	#1142
ipscout Porn Star Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 98,764	When I put my penis inside you, I will begin the ritual that will drain your soul from your body and it will become my sustenance.