caught gf "sexting" on facebook

[cjohnson18711]

okay so I was visiting my girlfriend Kate.. we were searching some random websites on her laptop together. I noticed that she never logged off of her facebook page so while she wasn't looking I turned the laptop and kept hitting the back page arrow to get back to her facebook page.. jus out of pure curiousity.

long story short, i ended up seeing 3 conversations with 3 different guys about sex... 2 of the conversations were VERY raunchy.. she even went so far as to send them a video of herself(no face shot) masterbating.. naturally i confronted her about this and was on the verge of breaking up with her but we worked it out...

the thing is.. she's a very shy and insecure woman.. after almost 2 years of dating, she's still shy about her body. I know for a fact she would never Physically cheat on me.. but it just sucks to see someone you love and trust having intimate conversation with other people.

Anyone else have similar situations..and if so how did you deal with it?

[mdesk66]

same thing has happened to me. . . .gf at the time was shy , thought she was too "fat" (she weighed 120 ils and was smoking hot!), and she was playing online. I didnt know what to think at first, I was actually happy to see that she had built up the courage to do this but on the other hand was dissapointed becuase it wasnt with me

After we talked we decided that she could keep doing this online on cam but I told her I wanted to sit next to her and take part. . . .best thing EVER! Thats my experience-

[deadly_dalia]

I don't get it!
If she's so painfully shy, then why is she playing online? Is it to see how many men like her? Would she actually cheat if she had some confidence?

I personally don't like that she hurt you and kept it from you. That's the thing about it that is hard to forgive and hard to let go. How are you guys working this out? Is she going to stop or are you going to let her keep going?

I have an arrangement with my bf tbh. I can play around online if I want but it's never to go beyond a fantasy and masturbation. The difference is, I have that worked out with him and we're clear on what I do. To us, it's just a higher form of masturbation.

But that doesn't always work out with everyone...

[countryman99]

I caught my girl doing the same thing on Facebook and it went on to were they was sexting each other on the phone. Swapping pics. I damn near killed the boy and my girl said.it just made he feel good to see that she turned somebody other than me on.

[Hypotenuse]

mdesk and dalia make great points. Online play can be great for a woman's self esteem because in chat rooms the m/f ratio is so insanely high, any woman will be overwhelmed with attention. Socially awkward, nervous young men can also get more comfortable talking to women in chat rooms with no risk.

I also consider it a higher form of masterbation, although anything on the phone or webcam without your partner crosses the line for me. If it's truly anonymous, I think it's fine. Unfortunately, my wife doesn't agree. When we were first dating, she found a chat history of mine and was livid. She considered it cheating and demanded that I never talk to women on chat rooms again. I really resent it, and so far she's been unwilling to even consider my arguments for years. She's all for porn, kink, and even threesomes which suprises me why she finds erotic chat so apalling.

[mdesk66]

Originally Posted by Hypotenuse

mdesk and dalia make great points. Online play can be great for a woman's self esteem because in chat rooms the m/f ratio is so insanely high, any woman will be overwhelmed with attention. Socially awkward, nervous young men can also get more comfortable talking to women in chat rooms with no risk.

I also consider it a higher form of masterbation, although anything on the phone or webcam without your partner crosses the line for me. If it's truly anonymous, I think it's fine. Unfortunately, my wife doesn't agree. When we were first dating, she found a chat history of mine and was livid. She considered it cheating and demanded that I never talk to women on chat rooms again. I really resent it, and so far she's been unwilling to even consider my arguments for years. She's all for porn, kink, and even threesomes which suprises me why she finds erotic chat so apalling.

hmmmm eerily similiar circumstances for me as you previously mentioned! Are we long lost brothas ??!!

[N.E. Woman]

In general, Women are more thinkers and "feelers", men are more "DOers". If one partner is cyber sexing, the other partner, be it women or men take the situation completely different.

Women see online connections as cheating, because you are thinking about that other person.

Men on the other hand see it as 'if your not actually meeting, it doesn't count'.

Now these are the general Stereotypes of men vs. women.

Problems arise when you have one person who has the philosophy that if you are doing something in which you wouldn't want your partner to see... It's suspicious.

Having said that, no I don't let my own husband read every post I make. He doesn't have the context of my relationships online. BUT I also don't cyber sex ever!

[yesofcourse]

Well this is an interesting topic to me as I'm the one sexting all the time ans my wife of 12 Years thinks im on facebook too much....ironic....I am at the point in my life where the normal porn vids and pics don't really do it for me.....Nothink like having a conversation with a real person....This website is a great place to explore things that in real life you might never try....I'm glad they were able to work it out.....But I agree sexting....camming ....pic swapping and a much more personal masterbation......We make our own porn on here.....Waiting to that pm to light up....or a pic someone is taking and emailing you.....mmmm love it...!!! ps probably be divorced when my wife finds out....But we met on yahoo playing Euchre in 1999 and we were on yahoo messenger sending sexy emails and pics when you had to use the comp to take a pics.....She just doesnt want to do it anymore.....

[Rothko]

Well it could be that acting out online is her way of dealing with her shyness and or body issues. On th other hand it might be that she isn't as shy as she has made out but then you would know her and we dont.

Glad that you worked things out, so now is the time to move on and dont let what has happened damage your future relationship. The old expression about letting sleeping dogs lie, applies.

Of course it is going to hurt and knock your trust and confidence, but if you love her and want to make things work then you have to let it go. Her reasons for getting involved with guys in this way are her own. Curiosty, catharses who knows.

[thespadez]

I personally don't agree with it. Going behind your back and having explicit sex chats with other men and sending videos of herself to them is cheating, No matter how she attempts to justify it. It would be different if both agreed to it but you didnt. If her self esteem is so low that she has to do things with other men in an attempt to raise it then I honestly would not be suprised to see you back on these forums posting that she cheated on you with another man. She should be seeking help for this sort of thing because doing the things that she is doing will only help so much before she feels the need to go even further.

[SweetChris]

In my experience, guys do this all the time- why is it such a shock that she does too?

The web can be deliciously anonymous- a place where you can show a guy your most intimate parts and share your filthiest secrets without ever having to look him in the eyes. If she finds some ability to overcome her shyness there, that can only be good for your sex life in the long run.

I get why you feel betrayed, I do, but I just don't think it is a that big a deal.

[suzymoss]

I agree with sweet chris, the anonimity of the net provides an opportunity to share intimate thoughts with like minded people without risking being confronted or rejected face to face. I have chated about things on here that I wouldnt have the nerve to bring up to a live person in a bar.

[stoned-monkey]

I think at the end of the day its all about reciprocity. As to whether or not its "wrong" its really up to the two of your and your own unique dynamic as a couple. However if you can't come to terms with it I don't think it would be fair to either one of you to keep being in a situation that's not pleasant.

[Kimiko]

Maybe it's just me, but I think you should be happy that your girlfriend exhibits a healthy interest in sex, pornography, erotica, etc. It also seems to me that you could use the knowledge you just gained (by invading her privacy) to enhance your mutual enjoyment of sex. In short, now you know what she likes.

[christensen88]

Sometimes, I would look at my wife's Facebook and wish I would see some of that activity. I think it would make my dick hard. We have been together since HS and I wish she would have had more of a chance to be with other guys. I would love to have her tell me about it while we are fucking, would make me cum very hard.

[Red Headed Raleigh Ride]

I wouldn't worry too much, maybe she just needs more attention? Maybe you should make up an account and surprise her....aren't we all doing some version of that here?

[Jerry626]

I personally consider this cheating. I highly doubt that she would be pleased if you were sending cock shots to other girls. Some people have missed the fact that she was doing this on Facebook, so she knows these guys. The simple fact is that she should care what you think of her body, not these other dudes that she's not dating. This is a giant red flag. Tread carefully man.

[Massacre-]

I'd consider it a form of cheating. She's forming a relationship of sorts with the guys she's saying these things to and sending videos to. Besides, if these males do live close by, there's the temptation to try out things in real life rather than over the computer. I'd be worried and upset for sure. My cousin caught her (now ex)boyfriend doing this on Facebook and his phone and just about took his head off. Course these girls lived very close that he was sexting/talking dirty to.
As for Jerry's comment that because it's Facebook she knows them; There's know over the net and know in real life. I've friends on my Facebook I've never met in real life and probably never will. She could have picked these guys up in a chat room or forum or something, or she might actually know them.
Best of luck, OP.

[Jerry626]

Originally Posted by Massacre-

I'd consider it a form of cheating. She's forming a relationship of sorts with the guys she's saying these things to and sending videos to. Besides, if these males do live close by, there's the temptation to try out things in real life rather than over the computer. I'd be worried and upset for sure. My cousin caught her (now ex)boyfriend doing this on Facebook and his phone and just about took his head off. Course these girls lived very close that he was sexting/talking dirty to.
As for Jerry's comment that because it's Facebook she knows them; There's know over the net and know in real life. I've friends on my Facebook I've never met in real life and probably never will. She could have picked these guys up in a chat room or forum or something, or she might actually know them.
Best of luck, OP.

Yes that's my point. She knows these guys well enough to have befriended them on Facebook. She is forming relationships with these guys.

[Coopernius]

Originally Posted by cjohnson18711

okay so I was visiting my girlfriend Kate.. we were searching some random websites on her laptop together. I noticed that she never logged off of her facebook page so while she wasn't looking I turned the laptop and kept hitting the back page arrow to get back to her facebook page.. jus out of pure curiousity.

long story short, i ended up seeing 3 conversations with 3 different guys about sex... 2 of the conversations were VERY raunchy.. she even went so far as to send them a video of herself(no face shot) masterbating.. naturally i confronted her about this and was on the verge of breaking up with her but we worked it out...

the thing is.. she's a very shy and insecure woman.. after almost 2 years of dating, she's still shy about her body. I know for a fact she would never Physically cheat on me.. but it just sucks to see someone you love and trust having intimate conversation with other people.

Anyone else have similar situations..and if so how did you deal with it?

To the contrary, sir, I would find it insanely hot to come home to find my girl fucking one or two other guys or discover she's been sexting.

[SecretSexyBlogger]

Here's my take: Most of the time women want to feel sexy. Believe it or not, you coming home and just suggesting sex isn't nurturing. Sounds like there are some mental components of her sexuality that aren't being nurtured. Do YOU sext her? Send her sexy encouragement? Encourage her to feel sexy?

I'm not saying it's your fault, but perhaps rather than just being mad, you could learn from this experience as grow from it. What could be sexier than coming home to a woman who's been sending you desperate requests all afternoon begging you to fuck her hard... and doing it!

[mandyw1265]

i think you need to dump her you shouldnt have to deal with that and if she did it once it will happen again

[cityman]

Originally Posted by Coopernius

To the contrary, sir, I would find it insanely hot to come home to find my girl fucking one or two other guys or discover she's been sexting.

I have to agree, I'd probably drop my pants then and there and blow my load just reading her dirty convos with other guys.

[meowlady917]

If she is as insecure and uncomfortable with herself as you think she is, she probably wouldn't A: Risk losing you. And B: Send videos of herself doing personal things to random guys.

[pedro45]

Originally Posted by SecretSexyBlogger

Here's my take: Most of the time women want to feel sexy. Believe it or not, you coming home and just suggesting sex isn't nurturing. Sounds like there are some mental components of her sexuality that aren't being nurtured. Do YOU sext her? Send her sexy encouragement? Encourage her to feel sexy?

I'm not saying it's your fault, but perhaps rather than just being mad, you could learn from this experience as grow from it. What could be sexier than coming home to a woman who's been sending you desperate requests all afternoon begging you to fuck her hard... and doing it!

My feelings exactly, I love to be worked up all day long then come and get fucked by my gf or wife.

[pyroman5000]

If it were me, I'd get turned on. BUT two facts really irritate me about this:

-painfully shy about her body
-shares masturbation video

Doesnt add up. Shes bored of you, and wants more attention. Shes lying to achieve it. She will continue doing what shes doing and will simply become better at hiding it.

[ExtremelyDisturbed]

Originally Posted by cjohnson18711

okay so I was visiting my girlfriend Kate.. we were searching some random websites on her laptop together. I noticed that she never logged off of her facebook page so while she wasn't looking I turned the laptop and kept hitting the back page arrow to get back to her facebook page.. jus out of pure curiousity.

long story short, i ended up seeing 3 conversations with 3 different guys about sex... 2 of the conversations were VERY raunchy.. she even went so far as to send them a video of herself(no face shot) masterbating.. naturally i confronted her about this and was on the verge of breaking up with her but we worked it out...

the thing is.. she's a very shy and insecure woman.. after almost 2 years of dating, she's still shy about her body. I know for a fact she would never Physically cheat on me.. but it just sucks to see someone you love and trust having intimate conversation with other people.

Anyone else have similar situations..and if so how did you deal with it?

That's how it start's.

Soon she will be chugging cock and swallowing cum behind your back.

[susi_squeeze]

I still dont know what sexting is lol

[bmxrider23]

Id be mad and shit I know that much :

[bmxrider23]

Originally Posted by susi_squeeze

I still dont know what sexting is lol

Its basically talking dirty to another person through texts or email ect...

[LastCall]

She broke your trust. It is cheating ! She would have to go !