story feedback please

[MasterJere]

im a first time story writer so it may suck but here it is, id love some feedback.

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Eve was walking down the street one night on her way home from a long day of work of project management at a large biopharmaceutical company. As she walked she briefly thought about her life. A well-paying job where she is in control, a quiet nicely furnished house that she has to share with no one, and the thought that was on her mind at the moment, a chance to go home and soak in a nice bath and not be bothered by anyone. Sure she was lonely at times, but overall she didn’t mind being alone. She was a strong and independent woman.


Eve arrived in her two story three bedroom colonial house and went straight to the upstairs master bathroom and her luxurious Jacuzzi tub. As she started the water she looked in the mirror to admire her body, she was what you would call average. Not overweight and not a supermodel. But she was proud of her body. Her breasts were the perfect fit for a man’s hand, and her rump had received plenty of approving looks. As she slowly stripped her clothes off exposing her creamy white skin, she didn’t notice the bath begin to overfill a little.


“Shit” the now naked Eve exclaimed as she rushed to the tub to turn it off. But it was halfway to the tub when her world went dark.


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Eve woke up several hours later, or at least it must be several hours later because it was so dark she couldn’t see anything. As she tried to move it hit her like a wave of pure knowledge. She couldn’t move her arms or legs or anything. She couldn’t see because she was blindfolded, and the cold air she was feeling meant she was still naked. The realization that she was taken brought Eve to tears. But Eve wasn’t the kind of woman to go down without a fight, “Let me go you sick fucks!”


The result of her last word was a hard slap to her pussy which was open, to whomever her tormentors were, by her leg restraints holding her spread for god knows how many people to see. “Fuck,” she screamed which caused another hard slap; “shit!” another slap was added to her now reddening pussy.


This went on for a fun minute and totally about 13 slaps until finally “Ahhhh!” she screamed and no slap hit her. She was panting heavily now and her tormentor still had not said a word. “Who are you?” she sobbed. “What do you want from me?” With that she felt something slip inside of her pussy.


A lifelike cock that she soon realized was a vibrator. Immediately after having been put firmly in place, the vibrator kicked in to action. “NO!!!” she screamed, but by then it was too late as the rush of pleasure swept over her like a flood.


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It had been what had felt like hours or even days. She had that vibrator in her driving her through countless orgasms. She lost count at five, then picked up the count starting over and made it to another 6, then made it to 3. She had blacked out so many times, she couldn’t keep track. And she always woke up to the ever present burning feeling in her pussy of the vibrator.

She had gone from screaming to whimpering, back to screaming and now as she was losing her voice, a voice she had commanded others with but that was so long ago. In truth she had been tied and forced to orgasm for 5 hours. And with her voice losing the ability to speak she said in a hoarse voice, “please, I’ll do anything, please.” And the vibrations stopped. Eve instantly passed out from relief.



If only she knew, it got worse from there.

[PrincessQuillow]

Not bad!!! Keep writing.

[knFML]

Good start

[trystas]

sounds pretty hott keep going

[Dinelong1]

Seems like a good start, but do you know where you want this story to end? and how many twist and turns are you going to lead us through? I would certainly like to see where you will take us with this story