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07-23-2012, 12:49 PM
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#51 |
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The DarkKnight
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: ~Hiding in Gotham City~
Posts: 6,058
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Hello clarise
 , Checked out some more of your poems.. And I must say.. They are very interesting  Keep up the good work. And please don't feel bad for bumping me.. lol  It's quite alright.. I just write to release and if people do read my thread.. I'm just grateful they enjoy my poems.  Oh and a little advice to help you along.. Just learn to ignore some of the critics of this site.. The less you pay mind to them, The easier it is to just write as you see fit. well take care hun and keep writing..  
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~Understand that people change and sometimes they’re no longer compatible with our lives. We just have to learn to accept it and move on.~ *Verified XNXX Male* My Poem Thread:http://forum.xnxx.com/showthread.php?t=267202
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07-23-2012, 08:28 PM
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#52 |
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BROTHER GRIM
Join Date: May 2008
Location: ←↕→
Posts: 29,111
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07-23-2012, 11:44 PM
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#53 | |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Quote:
How can I possibly top this? Let's see. i weah a hood
i think iz wize dat gaddam kat pisst in my eyz
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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07-23-2012, 11:50 PM
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#54 |
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Guardian of the Snow
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 3,532
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I hope this one is enjoyable:
Upon the still waters the swan does sail, Casting eternal her eyes upon the clouds above, Once her heart held to another, Now his voice silent and still, Yet with each cry of their young around her, She recalls the love that allows all to be fulfilled. |
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07-23-2012, 11:56 PM
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#55 |
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Guardian of the Snow
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 3,532
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I dance among the clouds,
Soaring where only dreams do enfold, All here is reality to me, All in here is where I am free, I am what I wish to be, I encompass all that I see, To sail this great and vast sea, Is to tell all that I am me, And with the dawn of the new day, "I am me," is all that I need to say. |
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07-24-2012, 12:03 AM
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#56 | |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Quote:
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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07-24-2012, 12:49 AM
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#57 |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 2,409
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It's odd to say
She feels the same A summer's breeze Is all I need To wish away My yesterdays My possiblies My couldn't bes My never was Is just because Of what I knew I didn't do I should have done My only one I'd gladly give this life to live Away to see You beautifully Like in my dreams Gold-laden strings How pretty too When I knew you A candle's flame Whispers your name And on the wind A new begin To every end I can't pretend That we are through Why did I go? A part of you I'll never know
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"And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father,
or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life." |
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07-24-2012, 09:39 AM
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#58 | |
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Guardian of the Snow
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 3,532
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Quote:
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07-24-2012, 06:42 PM
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#59 | |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Quote:
Because he just might respond, in his own inimitable fashion. I get his humor and enjoy it. Most don't, and do not.
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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07-25-2012, 10:38 PM
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#60 |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Shaped verse. Lots of structure, sycopation, and cool false rhymes (if you're into "Academic/literary" poetry, which I suppose few are). Also, the last section ("0" / evening gently falls) has very complex rhythm with interior rhymes. Use the XNXX-Blue style to get the shaped verse effect.
One last remark: this is one of the poems that appears in the "Greta's Diary" cycle, and thus it will be appearing in the e-book I am currently preparing for Amazon. The shaped verse poems have been the biggest challenge, because older Kindles are awful with poetry. The new Kindle Fire, however, renders the poem almost exactly like this, and I am quite pleased. ______ countdown ______ ______ 2 ______ ______no time for born ______no time for grow ______no time for love ______no time for life ______no time for rush ______no time for fall ______no time for dead ______ ___________an alarm clock corrupts my dreams ______ ________dawn ________damn ______ ______traffic horns scream ______ ____________truisms ____ ____another monday ____another oneday ____another anyday ____another lieday ______ ________oh please god ________don’t make me ________survive again ________don’t make me ______ ______so many cars get to crash against poles ______so many lightning bolts strike just right ______so many card houses are picked up and ______carried away by gentle accommodating winds ______ 1 ______ ______the angel of death ______has broken the spell ______his mouth has razors ______he has chewed my eyelids off ______with his razors ______he has taken me ______he has taken me bodily ______he has gutted your beloved ______in our garden ______and raped me with reality ______ ______faith is masochism ______faith is misdirected deference ______faith puts my womb in cold sweats ______faith reduces gods to beggars ___________haggard and threadbare ___________the serpent is the lamb ______jesus tears his palms on the nails ______and a shriven trinity sheds futile tears ______ ______faith drips upon floorboards ___________seeps between cracks ___________weeps in cold basements ___________where no one can see ______faith the ravishing tempest ___________the emotive softvoiced incubus ___________the languid smiling whispering rapist ___________we usher in with lovelorn lustblind foolishness ______faith screams its disillusion ______faith bleeds wrath upon the oblivious ___________faith shatters plateglass with its interminable dirge: ___________ ______i hate you _________________i hate you ____________________________ihateyouihateyouihateyou ___________ 0 ___________ _______evening gently falls upon _______a silent wake that trails behind _______my everlasting timeless faith _______propelled by torn and threadbare sails _______ _______I measure unremitting paces _______circling ‘round the quarterdeck _______from fore to aft and back and then _______adrift bereft to weep again _______ _______insomnolent in pools of sweat _______that soak into these cedar boards _______beneath my fevered shaking limbs _______from dusk to dawn a progress toward _______ _______degenerating confidence _______habitual indifference _______and I’ve been told these countless years _______that changes come, the changes come _______ _______from day to day and year to year _______and life to life all living things _______above and underneath the placid _______cool and lucent, soft green sea: _______ ____________________change _______ _______ _______ _______
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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07-25-2012, 11:24 PM
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#61 |
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Banned!
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 17
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sexyyyyy hott
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08-01-2012, 12:04 AM
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#62 |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Update on Beauty. Almost there. Working on the table of contents (converting it to XML).
I've hit all kinds of wacky delays. The latest: non-breaking hyphens. In the conversion from MS Word to HTML, about four hundred non-breaking hyphens disappeared, because they are MS Word objects-- not characters. So I had to hunt down all the omissions and add them manually. That is done. Now the table of contents, and after that I should be able to put it up. Perhaps a week or two. (It is summer, after all.)
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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08-01-2012, 01:04 AM
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#63 | |
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Forum Porn Laureate
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Southwest Michigan FILTH AS LITERATURE Recommended XNXX Writer Multiple CAW Winner
Posts: 4,272
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Quote:
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"My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way." . . . . . NEEDLESSLY VERIFIED: Pictures of my cock Writing Wrongs But Whom?
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08-01-2012, 01:17 AM
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#64 |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: The Realms of Darkness...
Posts: 2,195
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Clarise, not familiar with your work but what I've just read, I would be remiss to not explore more...well done. Thank you.
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" I can make you feel...but I can't make you think." |
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08-06-2012, 09:39 PM
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#65 | |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Quote:
Thank you for reading my poems. I am pleased that you enjoyed them.
__________________
. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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08-06-2012, 09:56 PM
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#66 |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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The longest poem in the "Greta's Diary" cycle. Blue-X page style, please.
_____ _____ _____ river _____ _____a minor key dirge tears from cellos _____stored in dark closets; _________________________a chest of drawers _____resonates dolorous strains _____from within my heart: _________________________anticipation _____of a trance broken like an unseen _____falling of leaves or a perchance _____shifting of air, anticlimactic; ______________________________natural, _____most natural, fully expected, as _____surely as autumn rains fall upon _____damp stones in early evening; _________________________________after all these years _____of waiting and dreading _____I can weep with neither relief _____nor mourning for the tragedy; _________________________________the spell _____that has guided my every breath, _____that has robbed opportunities, _____that has been life and a giver of light _____seems now powerless to hold a feather, _____a weightless chain, _____steel links dissolved and dispersed, _____cast aside, discarded like tissue paper; _____ _____measureless lunar opulence gently adorns _____a rippling lake in the verdant forest, _____place of nightdreams where my heart _____has sustained a deep fire of rosewood _____and crackling oboes all this time; _____upon moss and lichen covered stones _____I have wept with the irrepressible _____anticipation of joy _____a subliminal yearning for an abiding memory _____of briefly shared love; _________________________clocks, bells, time _____have marched forth in grand cadence _____and with no urgency as I have pondered _____upon ruminations of eventual fruition; _____shrouded in faded denim and sunflowers _____poised on a vertiginous whirlwind _____sweet with transubstantiation _____and bass note temblors _____the cellos plumb the depths of my heart _____with their sonorous transparency, _____that on this evening a magical spell _____has inexplicably broken _____that the slow whalesong _____has faltered midnote; _________________________the river purls _____in the umber cavities _____a bitterly relinquished gasp _____and in the cobalt waters I gaze _____into your limitless eyes _____into the new emptiness, _____intent upon reminiscence _____of dreams and kept secrets: _______________________________ice hot sublimity, _____a perfect circle, boundless, _____captured in the souls _____of cloudy translucent stones, _____love subsumed caged edified deified _____framed in a moment of immutable sanctity; _____late summer afternoon: ___________________________hands touched _____ever so briefly, as all existence _____watched the gentle progress _____of affection’s transformation _____to love; _____________we traversed the uneven ground _____past the deep twisted elms _____rhododendron caverns _____endless horse runs _____our lips paralyzed by that _____depthless kiss _____imbued with honey, sage, and rose _____generated a radiant light _____cast through limitless perspectives _____yielding to emerald brilliance; _________________________________upon _____an afternoon of blue _____your feet kissed the stones _____the worn roots, the creased grassblades _____as your gold rings grew warm in my hand; _____your fingers curled in my palm; __________________________________my hand caressed _____your thumb as I hovered, _____cognizant only of your hair _____as it exuded lingering centuries in its wake; _____fate would preclude us _____with all its witless obstinacy _____from stepping wearily off this earth _____and into each other’s arms _____and we must necessarily grow old _____upon different worlds, forever restless _____forever muttering forsaken prayers _____into the last murmurs that preface sleep _____forever to light votive candles _____for a lost love, ___________________forever to wonder _____forever to dream the unspoken dreams _____of unfulfilled promise, ___________________________sanctity left _____forever in its nascence _____a stillborn beauty never to achieve _____sublimation, __________________doomed to wither _____on dessicated hardscratch _____forever to metabolize the same stale breath _____that mutters in its exhalations _____a hoarse whispered trinity: _____heaven vaults the horizons into early morning. _____the fire burns down to embers _____over a fitful sleep, _______________________and the afterglow _____the orange dust, _____________________gradually rises _____carried aloft like a swarm of fireflies _____that glide effortlessly upon the swells _____beating their transparent wings ____ ______________ever higher, __________________________ever higher, ____ _____fading into the still dawn, _____and as morning approaches we will have awoken _____each of us in our disparate worlds _____back from tear dispersed sojourns _____feet hard upon the realworld _____and as I arise I curl my toes _____in the damp charcoal loam _____to sigh amid the drudgery of real caresses _____abandoned by dispersed dreams, ___________________________________cast away _____left adrift upon a fast and quickening river _____my heart attuned to the resonance _____of the departed cadence as it echoes _____the rapidly diminishing incantation: _____ ____________ heaven ____._________ love ______________ tao _______________ . _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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08-09-2012, 08:32 PM
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#67 |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Update on Beauty.
Ready to go. We just cleared the last formatting hurdle, a minor technical snag that has turned into a major pain in the tuckus and had us going for weeks. In the end, we determined that we had identified a bug in Amazon's new Kindle e-publishing compiler, and we have come up with an old fashioned workaround that fixes the problem. Beauty contains, here and there, call-outs with text. Colored boxes that hold "signs." One such sign says, "Play the Chess Master! Two minutes, $2.00!" Another sign, a very important one in terms of the plot, says, NO EVACUATION POSSIBLE. Those of you who have read my posts might have seen these signs now and again, because we have worked out a way to format call-out boxes for posting on VBulletin forums, and now and again I use them in stories and even in my sig. In fact, the "Chess Master" sign might even be on the board, buried deep... hold on, I'll check.... Pay dirt! Here it is!!! ____┌────────────────────────┐ If this call-out looks weird, with lines through it, go to the bottom left of this screen and pick the Blue-X style. Our goal has been to isolate boxes like this on an otherwise white screen, for emphasis, and to wrap them vertically and horizontally, so that they stand alone. Something like this: ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ Centering and isolating text is easy to do here in XNXX, but the callout box is nearly impossible to do here. Very tricky. On a Kindle Fire, the opposite is apparently the case. The box is easy, but centering/isolating it is difficult. Not impossible, but difficult. We know it is possible, because I already have a novel on Amazon that has a centered, isolated callout in the text. Theoretically it should be a piece of cake, because the KF device is supposed to be HTML5 compatible. This means one should be able to create colored callout boxes and center them with the latest CSS styling and HTML5 tags. But we have found that HTML5 and CSS do not work. To make this work, one must nest at least two "div" tags. One to color the box and give it a border, and an outer "div" to center and isolate the box on the page. But the Kindle E-book compiler (KindleGen Version  has a bug that prevents this. The inner "div" breaks the outer "div." The call-out box does appear, but it refuses to center. The outer "div" is broken, so the call-out box appears at the top left corner of the page.After weeks of struggling with this-- it seems like a minor thing, but the callouts really are important for the narrative-- we have finally found a workaround that "tricks" Amazon's KindleGen-8 to bypass the bug and render the call-out correctly, with horizontal and vertical centering. To do it, we strip most of the nifty new HTML5/CSS styling from the outer "div", and in its place we use an ancient HTML1 tag that is not even supposed to be supported on browsers anymore: <CENTER>. The old-fashioned <CENTER> tag does what HTML5/CSS cannot on the KindleGen compiler: it produces a call-out box that has background color and a solid border, yet appears correctly in the horizontal center of the page. To center it vertically, we use another ancient technique that has been frowned upon for more than ten years: we "pad" the call-out box with a "clear-space GIF" image of suitable height. (This is an image that is completely transparent. All it does is take up space, so that the call-out box will appear to be centered.) Now that this workaround is complete, all systems are go. If time allows, Nascent's sequel will be going up on Amazon some time next week.
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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08-09-2012, 08:56 PM
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#68 |
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Banned!
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 21
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HOT!
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08-09-2012, 10:41 PM
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#69 |
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Guardian of the Snow
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 3,532
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Nightime fills the sails of my ship,
Through the sea of stars do I slip, Here I am all that one can become, And I will seek that which is to come. So it is between the time of one lone star, I catch myself on my ship, and journey afar, Time passes so, so still, Yet each discovery is a thrill. Gossamer mists my mind retains, Yet hope still is the main. |
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08-25-2012, 02:25 PM
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#70 | |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Quote:
Good couplets.
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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08-25-2012, 02:32 PM
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#71 |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Another long one. In five parts. If you see ugly blue lines in the verse, choose the Blue-X style.
_____ _____ _____ _____ rumination _____ __1 _____ _______________summer evening _________the river and lawn shimmer __________gentle convection evokes ______whispers and glancing touches _____fragile as crystal _____ _________in retrospect _____memories smooth and meld _______________to an amorphous sublimity __________as choppy seas seem to do ______________when viewed from the sky’s rafters _____ __2 _____ ___________meandering accretion _has settled dust upon books _________________I have been meaning to read _____ ______________the bulbs have blown out _________crumpled poems litter the floor ______________sweaters climb the chairs ________and tumble down the valleys _____________like snowmelt _____ ________the cat has just moved ________and cleans her paws as cats do ________perhaps to assert her will ________or to remind me she is alive ________or to satisfy a fundamental ideal _____ _for hours we would embrace _______________reluctant to relinquish each other ________to the inevitable parting ________________our hearts would measure the slow cadence __________our eyes would speak a terse cryptic dialect ____________________of luster and silence _____ __3 _____ _____there was the first epiphany __________that night on the lampblack _______broken intermittently ___________by streetlight interstices ______the apprehensive pacing ______________the averted eyes ________the terror of _____ _______________i think i’m falling in love with you _____ ____________yes, oh yes ____________i too am quite certain _____ _________________what else could it possibly be _____________my dearest beloved _____ _________you are the dove feather _________that alights upon my palm _________and the breast of my soul _____ ________________that is how it felt ___________________the first time it was said _____ __4 _____ __________late into morning _______when starlight beads ________________upon the warm windowpanes ___________gathers momentum _________tumbles slowly downward _____________and patters like ______gelatinous luminescence _____________upon the floor _________I watch the grand procession _____________and dwell bitterly ________upon past certainties _____ ________somewhere I have left a window ajar __________or perhaps a broken pane exhales ___the lightbulb hangs by a wire ______________and sways like a metronome _________propelled by the draft ____________________faintly creaking __________like a door compelled from rest __________________or like disturbed bones _____ ___________it is not so much _________________that I wander still ________after all this time _____________upon fragmented cliffs ________________or that I have chafed _________my hands and soles raw ______________on the shells, shards _______and beach glass cast to shore ______________by desolate umber tides _____ __5 _____ I still see the shimmer of your eyes
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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08-25-2012, 09:13 PM
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#72 |
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Amateur
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Seattle Washington
Posts: 80
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Very unique structure, and great Imagery
Very good peice, most of all with depth, show more soon. Your own style, like It.
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08-25-2012, 09:53 PM
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#73 | |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Quote:
Sheesh. A new registrant to the site, with just nine posts, and you have given me one of the most positive compliments on this thread. Whoever you are, thank you. Thank you very much. clarise
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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08-26-2012, 02:57 AM
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#74 |
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Ascetic Kitten
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older
Posts: 4,585
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I hope you don't mind me posting this here.
***** Assemble the morning From last night's misplaced thoughts Ruminations I dare not dwell upon Purely out of fear That those memories might haunt me Until forever slips away On the wings of yesterday I touched your skin Delicately through your shirt In my drunken state And felt what I'd longed for Smelt the embodiment of heaven A summery delight seasoned with dryer sheets And freshly cut blades of grass You were laying Across from me on a chair So inviting But I thought better of it Though I wanted more To taste your ripe succulent peach And sink my tongue as deep as it would go I respected you too much To take advantage of this opportunity And let your vulnerability seduce me When you rose and came over My heart skipped a beat My mind drew a blank My palms were sweaty And I couldn't speak I knew that I wanted Everything that you were For myself And I still do If you'd just give me a chance |
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08-26-2012, 03:32 AM
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#75 |
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Forum Porn Laureate
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Southwest Michigan FILTH AS LITERATURE Recommended XNXX Writer Multiple CAW Winner
Posts: 4,272
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clarise, your creative talent for poem is exceeded only by your excellent talent for prose and nobody can exceed you in either endeavour. You have yet to disappoint.
READ and COMMENT on ALL the CAW12 entries and THEN VOTE!
__________________
"My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way." . . . . . NEEDLESSLY VERIFIED: Pictures of my cock Writing Wrongs But Whom?
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08-26-2012, 02:51 PM
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#76 | |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Quote:
Like so many poems, this one is an address to a beloved. The second stanza is the best in terms of technique.
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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08-26-2012, 06:29 PM
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#77 | |
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Ascetic Kitten
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older
Posts: 4,585
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Quote:
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08-27-2012, 03:53 AM
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#78 | |
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Ridiculously Happy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Exactly where I want to be
Posts: 11,572
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OK... so maybe this will come off as psycho-babble, but does your brain ever "change" when you're reading poetry (especially in different styles and formats from more than one author)? Like it's trying to be a bit more open than usual to the nuances and flavors and visions and abstracts that will come through as you read?
Well, I was in just that zone until I came to this line: Quote:
Good efforts with your poetry, folks ... maybe I'll dig up something to contribute one of these days... but, for now, I think I need a nap.No... wait a minute... Four hundred virgins were gone from their beds Their mothers and fathers sat scratching their heads Had they fled to find lovers, or run off to seek A Spring Break vacation that lasts for a week? Will they come back as chaste and as pure as before Or did we lose a daughter but gain us a whore? When a few weeks had passed, they returned to their huts "So sorry Mom and Dad, but we choose to be sluts"! Now they will never find husbands for whom to clean and cook They should never have been allowed to read that "Beauty" book! See? I TOLD you I need a nap! *groan*
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∼∼∼♥~♥♥♥~♥∽∽∽
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08-27-2012, 04:42 AM
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#79 | |
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Amateur
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Seattle Washington
Posts: 80
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Quote:
No problem yw clarise. It actually made my day, how my little comment meant that much to you. I also write as well when I feel like It, word painter/wordsmith/word wizard (also a flawed-perfectionist so a gifted curse of ambition?) lol  . I just love to play with words, especially for creative depth. Passion of Ideas, wrapped within sheets of creativity, Is a beautiful thing.Do you tend to write one sort of way dark/light etc? I personally do my own thing. I feel too much focus on format can be a limitation for me. Never compromise! Imo, balance on your own terms with a reader!. I'll check out for more. Tc |
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09-11-2012, 09:26 PM
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#80 |
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Sex Machine
Join Date: Oct 2005
Age: 57
Posts: 792
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Waiting
Some really nice work here, Clarise. We may never agree politically but poetically there could be some hope.
Here's one of mine from a few years ago: Waiting . . . Know that it is not the darkness which defines me, Any more than it defines the night, Or the majestic sweep of the firmament. It is not the darkness but the shining points of light Which, but for the inky black, We would never know. Where shines the light, shines life, hope, and . . . Perhaps . . . Love.
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_____________________________________________ Stories: http://stories.xnxx.com/story/23953/From_Nerd_To_Nympho http://stories.xnxx.com/story/24211/Plans_For_Mom http://stories.xnxx.com/story/24375/Forced_Incest http://stories.xnxx.com/story/33736/Bad_Steve Album: http://forum.xnxx.com/album.php?albumid=7728 |
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09-11-2012, 11:10 PM
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#81 | |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Quote:
Not bad, not bad at all. Too much "amateur" poetry reads like Rod McKuen. Yours does not. Thanks for your remarks. You are one of the brighter bulbs perched on the "progressive" fence over in GD, so your post means a lot to me. My books have sex, which is why they have an audience here, but they are not porn. (And some of the poems on this thread are actually in the second novel, as diary sequences.) The books are long, but you might like them. Read three paragraphs on this thread. You'll either be hooked, or you'll dismiss them. Can't please everyone, but I have a hunch you'll reach paragraph four.
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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09-12-2012, 07:47 PM
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#82 |
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Sex Machine
Join Date: Oct 2005
Age: 57
Posts: 792
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Your Story
I read the first two chapters of your story. It has a plotline with some interesting possibilities and I'll read more of it later.
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_____________________________________________ Stories: http://stories.xnxx.com/story/23953/From_Nerd_To_Nympho http://stories.xnxx.com/story/24211/Plans_For_Mom http://stories.xnxx.com/story/24375/Forced_Incest http://stories.xnxx.com/story/33736/Bad_Steve Album: http://forum.xnxx.com/album.php?albumid=7728 |
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09-12-2012, 07:50 PM
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#83 |
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Sex Machine
Join Date: Oct 2005
Age: 57
Posts: 792
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Meanwhile, try this non-Rod McKuen sounding poem:
Darkness Falls Walking twisted paths of fear In clinging mists of shadows tear Of mem'ry past and future dream And hold within my mind a scream. Time before in my heart calls And what's to come, as darkness falls? My house is empty, no one there, And no sound moves the vacant air. The stairway lined with webs and dust. The pipes are filled with dirt and rust. I move alone through silent halls Through soul and spirit as darkness falls. A single star through window shines And shows a path that turns and winds Through weed grown yard and broken gate That guards this place of evil fate. A black bird flies beyond these walls And wings away as darkness falls.
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_____________________________________________ Stories: http://stories.xnxx.com/story/23953/From_Nerd_To_Nympho http://stories.xnxx.com/story/24211/Plans_For_Mom http://stories.xnxx.com/story/24375/Forced_Incest http://stories.xnxx.com/story/33736/Bad_Steve Album: http://forum.xnxx.com/album.php?albumid=7728 |
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09-13-2012, 08:38 PM
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#84 | |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Quote:
Not bad at all, either. Iambic Tetrameter with couplets throughout. Thematically distinct from anything McKuen ever wrote (to my knowledge), but quite regularized. That is not a bad thing. Rhyming, metrically strict poetry is much more popular here than free verse. You should check out KnightLover's poems (another thread). His poetry is more consistently metrical than mine. Speaking of which, thanks for giving my books a try! I asked for just three paragraphs, and you're into the third chapter? Wow! The books can't please everyone, and people tend to either love or hate them, but I do appreciate that you have given them a chance.
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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09-13-2012, 08:58 PM
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#85 |
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Sex Machine
Join Date: Oct 2005
Age: 57
Posts: 792
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While I occasionally work for technical correctness in my poetry, it's not a priority. Imagery is the reason I wrote it the way I did. This seemed the best way to get the job done.
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_____________________________________________ Stories: http://stories.xnxx.com/story/23953/From_Nerd_To_Nympho http://stories.xnxx.com/story/24211/Plans_For_Mom http://stories.xnxx.com/story/24375/Forced_Incest http://stories.xnxx.com/story/33736/Bad_Steve Album: http://forum.xnxx.com/album.php?albumid=7728 |
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09-13-2012, 11:33 PM
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#86 | |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Quote:
The technical remarks were not a critique. Just observation. You are absolutely right. Poetry is communication first and foremost.
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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09-13-2012, 11:54 PM
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#87 |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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I have been engaging in too much self-aggrandizement on this thread. How about a poem? Blue-X style, please.
_ _ wait _ _ ______I built this room for you _____________in your absence _________a chapel with sounding stones ____that sing to the goldfish ______________the tiles on the eaves ___________all have names _clock is the sound ______________they make at sunset ________one is the increment _____________I count in my vigil _____fir is the name of the ____________tree beyond the meadow _______and signal fire is what __I struggle to discern _________among the night's jumble of stars _ _ _
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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09-20-2012, 02:21 AM
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#88 |
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BROTHER GRIM
Join Date: May 2008
Location: ←↕→
Posts: 29,111
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09-20-2012, 05:43 AM
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#89 |
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Guardian of the Snow
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 3,532
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Dawn casts forth her shimmering light,
Diamonds respond in glistening delight, Home I am for all to see, Awaiting all who may visit me, So whom shall the first to be, That will dance with me,' For my home dances on the morning breath, While for my guests awaits the hand of death, Patiently I wait with glistening eyes, Seeking all that moves across the skies, I sense near the great, graceful cries, That of she who is victorious no one denies, But this day to my home she does seek, And I shutter, feeling so, so weak, And so I the hunter do cry, Deaths hand meets me as from her I do die. - The spider and the hummingbird. |
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09-20-2012, 02:05 PM
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#90 |
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Guardian of the Snow
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 3,532
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Two paths wander,
Emeald greens, Sapphire blues, Rubies of richest hues, Whites as such they have never seen. Two paths do cross, Contemplation, Curiosity, Wonderment, Wishes made, One holds forth a hand, Invitation silently given, Smile glistening, Ears and heart listening, Desires so, so wonderfully driven, One of glistening fires, Silent, Still, Gives in to the desires. In one moment all becomes clear, A wonderment so, so very near, A moment so precious and dear, For both with curiosity and not fear. The song is sweet and crisp, A giggle gentle as a sigh, Sends the other into the sky, A dream passed as a wisp. Forever the two are bound, She who forever remains on the ground, She whose home is in the air, With whom no gem can compare. A young girl wandering among the flowers of a garden, meets her first hummingbird and it lands upon her offered hand. - Snowleopard. |
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09-20-2012, 05:27 PM
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#91 | |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Quote:
How old is she? Ten?
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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09-20-2012, 05:29 PM
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#92 | |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Quote:
 Very good, until the last line. Don't answer your own riddles! (Or do; to each his own. )
__________________
. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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09-20-2012, 05:37 PM
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#93 | |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Quote:
To me this is reminiscent of a "boy meets girl" scene in one of my novels, not because it is similar in any way, but because I am currently working with the material. I am fascinated by the notion of one sending one's consciousness, or one's soul, out into the world as an emissary, to assay the landscape. The girl in your poem does something of this sort, in her contemplation of the hummingbird upon her hand. Here is a character from one of my novels, doing much the same thing, upon her first encounter with the man whom she might be destined to love: Jessica emerged, hands behind her back, and stepped into the room. He resisted the impulse to rise, because she stood even shorter than her mother. He resolved to remain seated. Apart from that minor decision, he found his cognitive capacity severely degraded by his observation of the million tiny diamonds upon her tied back hair, the sheen of light-motes upon her neck, and the universe reflected in her eyes. She smelled like rain upon leaves, like the forest after a thunderstorm's passing, like seed-crowns teased into waves by an autumnal breeze, like snowflakes captured by eyelashes in nascent winter. Her soul playfully cast its net like a taunt and ensnared him, there where he sat, snatched him up in a gentle cage made of its slender fingers, and regarded him with avid curiosity as he fluttered impotently, at the mercy of its silken fetters. Then her soul released him with an enigmatic smile and retreated to commiserate with the angel herself. The young woman and her soul made a game of their assessment, beguiling and challenging each other with dares, and judged his fate, in devious yet playful conspiracy, while he sat and awaited the outcome of his existence with passive acceptance. He imagined that she had come to some sort of provisional decision as she impulsively shivered, and he had to fight back the compulsion to mimic the reflex sympathetically. She rubbed the damp goosebumps upon her forearms. And then, her musical voice spoke once again. To him. Apparently she and her soul had decided that they would deign to speak to him. For now. Her voice sounded soft and pleasant, yet high, clear, and confident, too.
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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09-20-2012, 08:12 PM
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#94 |
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Guardian of the Snow
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 3,532
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Apologies on my part Clairice; I forgot to take out the last lines on both of them before posting. Normally when a poem comes to me, I write a one line description and the words shape around it.
My mess. I like the passage from your book; thanks for sharing it. |
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09-21-2012, 11:48 AM
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#95 | |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Quote:
__________________
. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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09-21-2012, 01:49 PM
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#96 | |
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Guardian of the Snow
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 3,532
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Quote:
My sister said once that men view women like that (the beguiles and challenges part) and then added the caveate: "men are also mostly clueless to ask about stuff as well." As I have learned - listen to sis as well as mum. The one about the hummingbird and the little girl I will admit came to me on the spur of a moment. Most people assume its impossible to get a hummingbird to land on ones hand, but you can if you have enough patience and neighbors that do not scream out "thats impossible!" when they see it happen (as it did with me, thus rendering moot instantly eight days of effort). |
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09-30-2012, 12:37 AM
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#97 |
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Guardian of the Snow
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 3,532
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Summer dawn,
Moon beholds, Glittering gems cascade, To and fro they do play, Moment of two worlds unite, Unto a universe of loving delight. Two hands entwine, One of yours, One of mine, To and fro they do play, Eye to eye we do see, What our love soon shall be. |
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09-30-2012, 12:40 AM
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#98 |
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Guardian of the Snow
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 3,532
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Slumber filled night,
Shadow moves in casted light, Move by move, Step by step, Nary a whisper passage marks, Two eyes behold the sky, Rivers flowing so, so high, Wonders sought, Curiosity wrought, Call of night is heard from afar, So she responds as if chasing a star, Into the night she goes, Mystery in passing that no one knows. |
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09-30-2012, 06:58 AM
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#99 |
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Sex Machine
Join Date: Oct 2005
Age: 57
Posts: 792
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Diplomacy
Words of anger, minds held closed Heated speeching, hearts now froze Flaring tempers, mien alight Each one knows that he is right Fingers pointing, gestures made Voices argue, restraints fade Rage upstarting, Teeth ground tight Fingers clench in fists to fight Each will wish his foe to rout Is this the way to work things out?
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_____________________________________________ Stories: http://stories.xnxx.com/story/23953/From_Nerd_To_Nympho http://stories.xnxx.com/story/24211/Plans_For_Mom http://stories.xnxx.com/story/24375/Forced_Incest http://stories.xnxx.com/story/33736/Bad_Steve Album: http://forum.xnxx.com/album.php?albumid=7728 |
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09-30-2012, 03:31 PM
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#100 |
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Precious princess
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: ۩
Posts: 5,932
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Snowleopard and Imported_2355, thanks very much for your beautiful poems. This is not just a thread bump. I have neglected this thread, and you should not be the only ones keeping it alive. I will put up a poem of my own momentarily.
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. . . We expect far more of paradise than what we bring to it, yet we can bring no more than ourselves, and we can appreciate no more than what we presuppose to exist there. Thus, even in a heaven of limitless breadth and capacity, we perceive naught but ourselves upon our deaths, even though it is we whom we long to escape.. My novels (two here and a third on the way) - 720,000+ reads ( featuring God, Satan, and the Antichrist ) . . . |
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