my Sis and I

Cozimo · 08-09-2012, 01:50 PM

Ok. This is the first time I am writing a sex story so give me some feedback. It will not be that long.

Cozimo · 08-09-2012, 01:59 PM

It was a lonely evening, the normal watching of the Olympics commenced downstairs in the living room. I live with 1 sister and my dad. My dad has always been very protective about sexuality and the whole idea of sex. If he caught me masturbating, I don't know what I would do. Whistle they watched Olympics I reached the point of no return. I chummed all over my bedsheets as my dick throbbed in my hand. I always masturbate to the thought of my sisters friend. Once when they where changing I snuck in and saw her naked but I don't think she knew. Also, once when we went to her pool her bikini slipped a little and exposed half of her fucking cute little tits. After this masturbation session I took a short shower whislt I was in the shower, with the door unlocked, my sister came running in to get her brush. I was still waiting around in the nude for the shower to warm. I turned towards the door and saw the door knob start to turn.

Trib Fan · 08-09-2012, 02:23 PM

I don't see anything 'new' here as far as a build up to a decent sexy story.
Leave words like 'whilst' out of it....
Keep going......Hope it gets 'hotter'.....

Trib Fan · 08-09-2012, 02:25 PM

Oh...and proof read your story....whistle was used....and whilst was mis-spelled...

Cozimo · 08-09-2012, 02:36 PM

She cool air rushed in as I tried to conceal my manhood. Too late, she saw. I could see that she was turned on. Her tits started to perk up and my balls went wild. Apologizing quickly Lisa swung the door closed. But not before I grabbed her arm and said,"stay if you want to see more."
That provoked a reaction as my sister stood and contemplated her choices. "I'll stay"
I reached behind her and shut the door, by now I had given up all attempts to hide and was completely nude. My sister stared at my cock as I got out some soap. "First, take off all your clothes except your sexy panties." She happily obligied.
As soon as I saw her panties my balls started to ach trying to hold in the best orgasm of my life. Right in front of me, on her panties was a little wet spot of her fantastic vaginal juices.

Dizzyworks673 · 08-09-2012, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trib Fan

I don't see anything 'new' here as far as a build up to a decent sexy story.
Leave words like 'whilst' out of it....
Keep going......Hope it gets 'hotter'.....

I have to agree, give us more of a lead in. His sister just pulls her clothes off for her brother no big deal? He claimed he was into his sisters friend so why is he with his sis?

More details explain the story better and convey the emotion behind their behavior.

I think you have potential you just need more practice.

08-09-2012, 01:50 PM	#1
Cozimo Newcumer Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 3	my Sis and I Ok. This is the first time I am writing a sex story so give me some feedback. It will not be that long.

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08-09-2012, 01:59 PM	#2
Cozimo Newcumer Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 3	It was a lonely evening, the normal watching of the Olympics commenced downstairs in the living room. I live with 1 sister and my dad. My dad has always been very protective about sexuality and the whole idea of sex. If he caught me masturbating, I don't know what I would do. Whistle they watched Olympics I reached the point of no return. I chummed all over my bedsheets as my dick throbbed in my hand. I always masturbate to the thought of my sisters friend. Once when they where changing I snuck in and saw her naked but I don't think she knew. Also, once when we went to her pool her bikini slipped a little and exposed half of her fucking cute little tits. After this masturbation session I took a short shower whislt I was in the shower, with the door unlocked, my sister came running in to get her brush. I was still waiting around in the nude for the shower to warm. I turned towards the door and saw the door knob start to turn.

08-09-2012, 02:23 PM	#3
Trib Fan Porno Junky Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 357	I don't see anything 'new' here as far as a build up to a decent sexy story. Leave words like 'whilst' out of it.... Keep going......Hope it gets 'hotter'.....

08-09-2012, 02:25 PM	#4
Trib Fan Porno Junky Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 357	Oh...and proof read your story....whistle was used....and whilst was mis-spelled...

08-09-2012, 02:36 PM	#5
Cozimo Newcumer Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 3	She cool air rushed in as I tried to conceal my manhood. Too late, she saw. I could see that she was turned on. Her tits started to perk up and my balls went wild. Apologizing quickly Lisa swung the door closed. But not before I grabbed her arm and said,"stay if you want to see more." That provoked a reaction as my sister stood and contemplated her choices. "I'll stay" I reached behind her and shut the door, by now I had given up all attempts to hide and was completely nude. My sister stared at my cock as I got out some soap. "First, take off all your clothes except your sexy panties." She happily obligied. As soon as I saw her panties my balls started to ach trying to hold in the best orgasm of my life. Right in front of me, on her panties was a little wet spot of her fantastic vaginal juices.