Bi-curiousity not cutting it ( thinking out loud )

[Diaxis]

I think I'm just about done exploring this. My experience has been simply, underwhelming. I've always had a fascination with cocks, and really that hasn't changed. Dicks are erotic, fun things. I've always enjoyed my own, it made sense that I might enjoy another, right? So I thought, lets broaden my scope and give it a go ( this, about 2 years ago ).

I guess the problem in the end is that, first of all, men, in general, suck.

See - I've never been attracted to the idea of a man. The shape of a man is not a turn on. A man's bare ass might be erotic enough to arouse me, but only if its clean shaven and gender-ambiguous. Hairy asses are not a turn on. Hairy men are not a turn on. The smell of a man is not a turn on. Watching some guy flirt with me or someone else does nothing for me. I don't want a romantic relationship with a man. The only thing about men is that they are easy. I never wanted to fuck a guys ass. I never wanted to touch his asshole or finger him. On a woman, no problem! On a guy, disgusting. I don't even get anything out of watching a gay blowjob. Its just the cock, and cock alone, and nothing else that's attached to it that piques my curiosity. Is it enough to reconstruct my identity over?

Which brings me to the second problem : the whole idea of being "gay" or even partially gay, grinds against my ego. It's not that I'm ashamed, or "hate" gays, but its not "me" and I've never known it to be "me". I'll get all hot and bothered, try camming with some dude, lose my erection half way through and get grossed out. Or optionally, I'll jerk to gay porn, cum, and then feel gross afterward. It's a bit of a contradiction; I can force this on to orgasm but am never cool with it afterwards. And I always find the submissive / dominant thing awkward because I don't like BEING either or responding to either.

I think what I need, is not simply an orgasm. I need relationships, and especially ones that square with the core of my identity, which is straight. I love women, and I get so much more out of loving them, and being loved in return. And without all these other psycho-sexual contortions. That said, maybe the Internet haha is not the right venue. I don't think I'm going to find what I want here. Let's say my expectations are reduced.

Anyway! Random thoughts.

[JackBauer]

nice to see that there are other people with the same view point on this

good luck btw

[Diaxis]

Thanks Jack.

When you say you're in the same boat, did you mean in terms of your preferences, or being exhausted with Internet gratification ( or both? )

[youngfresh]

this is well put man. Unless you have been through something similar you never realise how confusing sexuality can be. I get what you mean about finding dicks attractive and gender-ambiguous asses. I tend to find a happy medium is trans girls. but hey never say never and just enjoy the ride x

[Not That Guy]

Kinda makes you wonder what woman see in men

[deadly_dalia]

I really like this post. I like how true you are to yourself and how sexuality isn't so straight forward.

Perhaps I feel the same way about girls. For some reason boobs turn me on, but I can't really think about eating pussy (eew mushy pussy) or being in a relationship with a woman. It's fucking weird and just doesn't suit me. But boobs are great!

But I've always known that to me, boobs are just a sexual thing. Something hot to get off on. So I considered myself sexual, not so much bisexual. To me... bi-curious is more about being sexually attracted to certain parts of the same sex (and so you're unsure of your orientation), but when you're bisexual you're more attracted to the other sex in terms of finding them suitable for a relationship as well. So I think that's why as a "bi-curious" person you might not be attracted to anything more than a certain sexual part of the same sex... at least that's how I think of it.

Also, about pussy. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe I would get into it if it was the most hairless tight pussy (on a grown woman). But wrinkly hairy pussy grosses me out, and I think real straight men like pussy in any shape and form. haha whatever :P

Anyways, good luck in your endeavors my friend, bi-curious or not as they may be :P

[Diaxis]

I appreciate the thoughtful feedback. I totally figured I'd get flamed on this.

@Dalia:

I have a similar aversion to hair. I appreciate the giant hairy bush aesthetic of the 70's and 80's, but only if the hair is limited to the pubic triangle. I need everything down below and back behind to be shaven. I don't like hairy assholes on women at all. For that reason I keep myself similarly groomed. I can't imagine a woman wanting hair in her mouth, and so I keep my balls shaven smooth. Maybe I'm a little OCD about that, I don't like hair on my shoulders or back either.

You mentioned your affinity for boobs, even though you're not bi. Think about it this way : ALL human beings are female until a certain stage in the womb, when the introduction of hormones guides development into our respective sexes. The interesting thing about that is to know every human being contains in their DNA the complete blueprint for BOTH a male and female version of ourselves. Flipping one chromosome would make the difference in whether we activate Plan A or Plan B. I have a feeling that sometimes, we don't totally develop just one way or the other, and that's why we end up with gay people and gender identity issues. And then there may be universal cues that aren't gender specific, that serve no purpose except to increase the likelihood that we may fuck. Maybe we like boobs and dicks because our brain knows that IF we're looking at it, people are naked, things are going on and its time to participate. Even if there is only a 5% chance you'll hit the right hole, from natures view its probably worth getting you excited and rolling the dice.

@youngfresh:

I still find many shemales extraordinary. I just don't like the Franken-sexual appearance of some. In my mind, a biological female that just "happened" to have a dick would be the ideal situation for me. And I don't think I'd have any mental gymnastics going on dealing with that. If I know she's a woman in her mind and doesn't look like some dude in drag, its all good.

@Not That Guy:

We should ask them. It's a good question actually. I think there must be objective criteria that would elevate the attractiveness of any individual ( cleanliness, symmetry and form, quality of skin ), but maybe there are gender specific cues that work Just on males or Just on females? But given that Dalia likes boobs and I like dicks, I'm not so sure.

[vampchick95]

Originally Posted by youngfresh

this is well put man. Unless you have been through something similar you never realise how confusing sexuality can be. I get what you mean about finding dicks attractive and gender-ambiguous asses. I tend to find a happy medium is trans girls. but hey never say never and just enjoy the ride x

Findind your sexuality is very difficult. I was raised in Fl with a family that had very strong Anti-Gay views. My mother once told me that "Gay people are sick and twisted and should not be allowed to live. They make me sick." I hate my mother for that quote because it took me until Freshman year of highschool, after I moved out, to realize that I am bi

[yesofcourse]

http://forum.xnxx.com/showthread.php?t=282584

Check out the above forum.....Its my story about the same thing!!!

I sealed the deal and loved it!

[deadly_dalia]

Yeah I can totally see your point about sexuality and development. I'm sure that happened to me since I feel a little more masculine in certain aspects and I've definitely thought of that as a possibility.

It's interesting what you say about hair because I actually really love hairy men. haha I think a man SHOULD be hairy, perhaps it's the indication of strong testosterone that attracts me. I mean, I ask my bf to trim, but a completely hairless guy is not so nice. I love the hairy belly and hairy face and hairy legs. haha I think that maybe my body or mind tells me men are hairy and women are not. Or maybe I just don't like women enough to enjoy them unless under specific circumstances. Who knows.

[CockInYoMouth]

I can relate to this a little.
Like you said, I get turned on by cocks
Ill watch gay porn and after busting i feel disgusted.
Ill check guys out everyonce in a while but it does nothing to me & dont find them attractive
The thought of fucking a guys disgust me
Never had a gay experience so i cant say forsure but i dont think itll ever happen

[Diaxis]

It's a different experience. See I can't kick start my arousal from 0 just by watching a man walk by, meeting a man, etc. I have to be presently horny, and then in my heightened state of arousal, switch over to the cock imagery. Which is why I reject gay porn after the moment I bust a nut. The test in my mind is whether after cumming you'd consider laying and holding your partner for a bit, and I can say I'd only do that with a woman. WOMEN on the other hand, can be walking down the street, introduce themselves, and I'll be consciously fixated, and then the ball is rolling. My mind will say, Wow she's good looking. That actually never happens with a man. I assume by the responses I am not unique, but here's the question : do "qualified" gay or bi men see the sexes similar to this, or is it reversed? I guess I want to know what the real difference is between me and someone who identifies as gay.

[CockInYoMouth]

Originally Posted by Diaxis

It's a different experience. See I can't kick start my arousal from 0 just by watching a man walk by, meeting a man, etc. I have to be presently horny, and then in my heightened state of arousal, switch over to the cock imagery. Which is why I reject gay porn after the moment I bust a nut. The test in my mind is whether after cumming you'd consider laying and holding your partner for a bit, and I can say I'd only do that with a woman. WOMEN on the other hand, can be walking down the street, introduce themselves, and I'll be consciously fixated, and then the ball is rolling. My mind will say, Wow she's good looking. That actually never happens with a man. I assume by the responses I am not unique, but here's the question : do "qualified" gay or bi men see the sexes similar to this, or is it reversed? I guess I want to know what the real difference is between me and someone who identifies as gay.

THIS^ I Concur

[1t2meetu]

I guess I have found a post with which I can relate. I find myself with an interest in viewing dick, hard or soft, helmet or anteater, long or short it doesn't matter. I'm 60 years old and have always been turned off by the thought of gay sex for me, though on occasion I could masturbate to a bit of gay porn. I've always been hetero and have loved, not liked, but loved pussy (as long as it's clean). I love to see it, touch it, smell it, lick it, etc. etc. and have never given much thought to cock until I turned 50 or so. Now I have an affinity to it and would love the opportunity to touch and maybe suck a man's cock, but do not want anything to do with kissing, hugging or anal at this point. I'm not sure I'd want him to cum in my mouth, but the male sex organ intrigues me. Now for the contradiction......I"ve had an opportunity to meet up with a guy on several occasions to quel this lustful interest, but because I know nothing about him, I am reluctant; a never ending fear of STD's. So how do I get around this contradiction; how do I find someone I know is clean and fulfill this lustful need to at least touch another man's cock? What a dilemma.

[piper]

Nothing wrong about exploring your sexuality and realize that you are not really into guys. Nobody got hurt and you have learned something about yourself.

I did the same once and found that my lack of a sex life had the simple reason that I am gay and was in denial. Give me flirting, kissing, handsome guys! And cocks! The same experiment, different outcome.

Not trying would have been the bigger error.

[SystemShock]

First of all Diaxis your avatar makes it very hard for me to read the posts. I know a woman like that but I can't have sex with her .
Well the difference between men like you or me with someone who identifies as gay is very big.
I'm like this and from what I understand you relate too :
Latent bisexuals (edited): completely straight in behavior but have desire for sex with another male (for me when alone and sexually aroused), but have never acted on it.
That is a long way from the "only gay" side or even bi that view the two sexes in the same way.
Even a lot of the "real straight" guys that hate "no straights" in this forum are more or less like that even if they don't admit it as I don't except from this forum.

[youngfresh]

Good to see Sucha discussion still going on this topic.

Diaxis to pick up on your point of a trans girl being a women in herself... I find that a true trans girl is infact a women mentally but porn in a man's body, so therefore changes sex. But I find the true ones will already have a lot of efem traits.

Dalia I have to agree with a small point you made, I love all pussy.
Hehe

1t2meetu it sounds like your in a similar position to me. I am desperate to have an other gay experience. I know it would be easy to go to a bar or club but then the thought of STDs, finding someone to trust etc is huge issue. im lucky enough to have found a previous friend who I experimented with. Unfortunately I spoiled two chances cause after I had sex and left I had that discusted moment and told him not to contact me.

I wish I had never done it. But hey.

X

[1t2meetu]

So, youngfresh, you wish you had never had the guy/guy sex, or you wish you hadn't told him to not contact you? Tell us about your adventure.

[clubsixty9]

Boy, can I relate to THIS thread!!

1t2meetu sums it up perfectly for me; we're almost the same age (I'm a few years younger) and daydream about sucking and stroking a cock until it cums in my mouth but that's ALL I'm interested in. Being married to a closed-minded woman and the threat of STDs keep me from attempting to fulfill the fantasy.

Like youngfresh said, trans girls are a happy medium, the more feminine they look, the more they turn me on. Also, the more feminine they look and the bigger the cock, the better!! I'll stroke to a sexy shemale anytime and not feel disgusted afterwards!

[youngfresh]

Sorry to clarify... I wish I had never told them not to contact afterwards.

I loved my experiences. I mean I still get hard thinking about my first touch of cock.

And as for the taste...just wow. X

[ameba11]

Originally Posted by 1t2meetu

I guess I have found a post with which I can relate. I find myself with an interest in viewing dick, hard or soft, helmet or anteater, long or short it doesn't matter. I'm 60 years old and have always been turned off by the thought of gay sex for me, though on occasion I could masturbate to a bit of gay porn. I've always been hetero and have loved, not liked, but loved pussy (as long as it's clean). I love to see it, touch it, smell it, lick it, etc. etc. and have never given much thought to cock until I turned 50 or so. Now I have an affinity to it and would love the opportunity to touch and maybe suck a man's cock, but do not want anything to do with kissing, hugging or anal at this point. I'm not sure I'd want him to cum in my mouth, but the male sex organ intrigues me. Now for the contradiction......I"ve had an opportunity to meet up with a guy on several occasions to quel this lustful interest, but because I know nothing about him, I am reluctant; a never ending fear of STD's. So how do I get around this contradiction; how do I find someone I know is clean and fulfill this lustful need to at least touch another man's cock? What a dilemma.

Why dont you get this guy to wear a condom, then you could suck him without the risk.

[Chappo]

Hi I read the post and could really relate to what your saying and how u feel. I've always been attracted to girls and been in relationships with them and a cock could never replace a pussy for me. I was a late starter being with a female I was always to shy. I started masturbating with a next door neighbour when I was 16 and it really turned me on seeing another cock I was always curious and wanted to experiment but he was never keen. I eventually started getting bored with normal porn and when I was really horny i started watching tranny porn and twinks I'd get way harder and cum so hard watching a nice hard cock i started watching more and more always having a feeling of guilt and disgust after but I couldn't stop watching.. The problem I have is I get really horny and want to experiment I've gone to try and change my mind at the last minute. Im battling with my sexuality I know I'm no gay there's nothing besides a cock tht a like and I would never be interested in anything more than sex. I want to experiment I might actually like it or I can finally put my curiosity at ease if I don't like it and move on. I'm just worried what That I could regret it and then it's too late.. Is it worth acting on a fantasy that u have when your horny and that I might regret. Any opinions?

[Diaxis]

I don't regret anything that I've done ( from a moral standpoint, but I didn't contract a disease either ). I also have a long-standing ( perhaps irrational? ) fear of STDs. And me being married and having an obligation toward my wife's health pretty much keeps me in line. Infidelity is one thing, but giving my wife a disease would be a disaster. So I've never acted on my "gay" impulses, mostly because I felt that gay men were too "easy", and by extension a HUGE risks for STDs. You go look at Craigslist and you might as well figure those men are whores, because they don't care who they're fucking, and they're NOT developing relationships with people if they're meeting in hotels for a few minutes and booting people out. There's no way in hell. And its the same here to be honest, because they're a lot of desperate men looking to suck a cock.

So no... I think I prefer the conventional methods, you know, meet a woman, take your time, get to know her, establish that neither of you are total fuck-whores and are mentally stable, then see if things progress. And to be honest I enjoy that process. I don't want to use someone, or be used and discarded. I am not an indiscriminate microorganism looking to simply procreate; I have mental and emotional needs, even as a man haha, that go beyond simple fucking, that I'm finding the Internet does not satisfy.

I'm also a bit of an extremist by nature, I like things to be black and white. I don't like dealing with sexual ambiguity. I'm the kind of person who wants to get an answer and move on. I was open-minded at first and decided to give things a spin, and in the end I became a more tolerant person, but still a straight one. I don't think I have enough "gayness" in me to worry about, and so ( coming full circle ) I think I'm done with it.

Anyone else who comes to a different conclusion, I applaud you in your search for self-knowledge, wherever it takes you.

[crank73]

great thread

[1t2meetu]

Clubsixty9, any chance you are in Missouri? I've had several affairs with women because durng conversation you can glean information about their relationships with their husbands and lead to a discussion of becoming fuckbuddies. I've got one woman who is a really good friend but won't fuckbuddy with me because she also is friends with my wife; just thinks it will create awkward moments when we are out together. That being said, guys don't typically discuss guy/guy sex for fear your friends will view you as gay. That makes it difficult to determine if there are guy friends who might be interested in having a relationship. In my situation, I have a guy friend we all thought may swing to the gay side, and he has bumped legs with me under the table and neither of us has been overly quick to pull back, I've tried to discuss sexuality with him (he is a retired doctor), and even made suggestive comments but he hasn't taken any of the hints. He is older than me (70/60) and maybe I'm looking at more than is there. Anyway, I'll just keep on keeping on and hope for the best.

[1t2meetu]

I can't believe this is actually educational.

[youngfresh]

I like that thinking 1t2meetu you don't often find chance to chat with guys about sex. But gay clubs should be good but back into std land...x

[NC_curious]

Originally Posted by Diaxis

I think I'm just about done exploring this. My experience has been simply, underwhelming. I've always had a fascination with cocks, and really that hasn't changed. Dicks are erotic, fun things. I've always enjoyed my own, it made sense that I might enjoy another, right? So I thought, lets broaden my scope and give it a go ( this, about 2 years ago ).

I guess the problem in the end is that, first of all, men, in general, suck.


Anyway! Random thoughts.

I feel EXACTLY the same way. I really want to try a dick.

[clubsixty9]

Originally Posted by 1t2meetu

Clubsixty9, any chance you are in Missouri? I've had several affairs with women because durng conversation you can glean information about their relationships with their husbands and lead to a discussion of becoming fuckbuddies. I've got one woman who is a really good friend but won't fuckbuddy with me because she also is friends with my wife; just thinks it will create awkward moments when we are out together. That being said, guys don't typically discuss guy/guy sex for fear your friends will view you as gay. That makes it difficult to determine if there are guy friends who might be interested in having a relationship. In my situation, I have a guy friend we all thought may swing to the gay side, and he has bumped legs with me under the table and neither of us has been overly quick to pull back, I've tried to discuss sexuality with him (he is a retired doctor), and even made suggestive comments but he hasn't taken any of the hints. He is older than me (70/60) and maybe I'm looking at more than is there. Anyway, I'll just keep on keeping on and hope for the best.

Nope, sorry, I'm up in the northeast U.S.

I understand where your female friend is coming from; that could get REAL awkward eventually.

You're also right about guys not discussing anything about male/male sex. In public, most of us are to busy acting macho/manly for fear of being labeled gay. Maybe those of us older guys that are bi-curious and open-minded about trying some form of sex with another guy (even if it's just sucking a cock until it blows in our mouths) are in the minority but what the hell, the fantasies are fun (for us) and we never know if we'll ever have the chance to try the real thing!!

[anal slut]

I may be the odd ball here...I LOVE women and would not want to be without them ever....

However...I Love guys with 7"+ to 10"+....sexually.....
I don't want to fuck them...but have them fuck me....
I enjoy giving oral to a nice big cock....
I LOVE my ass teased and fucked balls deep by a big cock....

In fact have a date with a guy tonight with a 7 1/2" cock....
I can be Manly....but when with a man I want to be femme and
treated like a woman...fucked like a woman...fucked like a slut...

[cs_x]

Originally Posted by 1t2meetu

I guess I have found a post with which I can relate. I find myself with an interest in viewing dick, hard or soft, helmet or anteater, long or short it doesn't matter. I'm 60 years old and have always been turned off by the thought of gay sex for me, though on occasion I could masturbate to a bit of gay porn. I've always been hetero and have loved, not liked, but loved pussy (as long as it's clean). I love to see it, touch it, smell it, lick it, etc. etc. and have never given much thought to cock until I turned 50 or so. Now I have an affinity to it and would love the opportunity to touch and maybe suck a man's cock, but do not want anything to do with kissing, hugging or anal at this point. I'm not sure I'd want him to cum in my mouth, but the male sex organ intrigues me. Now for the contradiction......I"ve had an opportunity to meet up with a guy on several occasions to quel this lustful interest, but because I know nothing about him, I am reluctant; a never ending fear of STD's. So how do I get around this contradiction; how do I find someone I know is clean and fulfill this lustful need to at least touch another man's cock? What a dilemma.

I have similar feelings. A find a man's cock very erotic, so much so that it became a fantasy. Finally I found a cleancut gent that wanted me to suck him. He pulled out his cock and I was immeadiately turned on by just the sight of it. I sucked him, he got off, and I enjoyed it. I am looking foward to doing it again. I have no other interest other than just sucking it.

[baller16]

Stop trying to explain away things or parrot answers to suit what you're comfortable with.

You're attracted to cocks. Big fucking deal. None of the "genetics/development" bullshit, whether it's true or not (and has not even remotely been proven to be true), will explain that away. You just are. Most likely it's a psychological thing.

And unless you're from a hard neighborhood where being masculine is EXTREMELY important then it doesn't matter what you like or what you are.

Honestly, that's exactly what your problem is. You're unable to accept anything and would instead seek to find an answer that suits you so you can explain it away as if you're an expert. I'd really hate to go through life like that.

[Trib Fan]

From your descriptions of your feelings you are hetero through and through.
You explained yourself perfectly and my hat is off to you.
My comment refers to how you explained how men are jerks.
You are correct in that and generally speaking many males are into self gratification and don't care about women except as a receptacle of their sperm.
A caring male, however, treats a woman equally or even puts her higher than himself. He worships her and her body and wants her to feel as happy as she makes him feel.
I personally don't care for body hair on a partner whether male or female so I understand you statement there too.
Stick with the opposite sex and enjoy yourself. Treat your woman well and the rewards will be a ten fold return!

[axsiter]

I am Bisexual and have been since I realized it when I was 13 years old.
I am not turned on by any other males body or anything he might do except should he allow me to suck his cock.
I am not turned on by all cocks, just some of them.
Size makes no difference to me. The cock can be 3 inches or 10 inches and I cannot say that I would necessarily go for the larger one.
All I know for certain is that I enjoy sucking cock!

[1t2meetu]

Size makes no difference to me. The cock can be 3 inches or 10 inches and I cannot say that I would necessarily go for the larger one.

As I surf porn and view cock I find less enjoyment looking at the huge horsecocks out there, but more interest in average ones. Also, while gay porn has excitement for me, the muscle bound guys do little for me, while average guys seem more attractive. It may have to do with reality, but if I were able to find a guy to be with, I'd like for him to be 5" or 6" and of normal weight and build.

[heycman]

I can't help wondering if this were a different decade, would you have tried any form of gay sex?

As I read this awesome thread, I'm wondering if as the internet breaks down our inhibitions, and desensitizes us to all types of sex, that more of us will discover that we like a variety of gay/straight/whatever sex, and that the notion of gay or straight sex as polarized activities just crumbles for us.

Verbose, I know. Sorry - just gave me pause.

[1t2meetu]

Probably 5 or 6 years ago I began to notice college aged gals imitating the bad girl image; I think they thought it would be a turn on for guys. More and more, on facebook in particular, I see girls hugging, flirting, tongue flicking, kissing and other measures presenting themselves as lesbians or "bad girls". I also believe a number of young women are experiencing lesbian sex with their friends because most guys their age are gorillas in bed........wanting to get their nuts off regardless of whether or not their female partner gets any enjoyment out of the act. That being said, I wonder if those actions have aroused a curiosity in some guys to experience a guy/guy relationship. Also, it seems guys over 50 are the most curious about this relationship. OR maybe it has something to do with diving into a taboo. For my part, and I can't explain this, I have no interest in any part of the sex act but for sucking a cock.

[Goldicocks]

Don't worry, there are some things I fantasize about in the heat of the moment that make me feel ashamed of afterwards, but I don't think it's anything to dwell on. Also, I think you're getting too wrapped up in titles and having to define everything. I think you're a straight guy who has seen too much porn in his day and the idea of a cock turns you on from time to time, nothing more. Some people may fantasize about killing their mom (guilty) but it doesn't make you a murderer. I get off on watching gay porn from time to time-- male and female-- doesn't make me a homo!

[xxpervxx]

Originally Posted by youngfresh

this is well put man. Unless you have been through something similar you never realise how confusing sexuality can be. I get what you mean about finding dicks attractive and gender-ambiguous asses. I tend to find a happy medium is trans girls. but hey never say never and just enjoy the ride x

ditto