for the married guys

[cum_luvah]

a little over 1 year for me (married) and IM the one not gettin enough. 1-2 times a month if not that, almost 2 months. im a pissed of wife

[DeepinsideXXx]

Originally Posted by stronghold

Man,...I do ALL the laundry (wash, dry, fold, even iron),..I cook and clean up the kitchen, (we take turns cooking),..I do the dishes,.. Im at her side pushing the grocery cart at the store,..I gas up her truck each weekend,..vacuum , dust, windows, toilets, blinds,..all of it my friend. I do way more than 50% of running the house. I dont mind at all,..I watched my dad help around the house growing up. But you would think, that perhaps this would make her feel, "wow, my man does so much, I should let him eat some of my sweet pussy tonight to thank him". Hahaha

Same here plus working 8 to 12 hours a day. Single income household (I'm the one that makes all the money..) I can't fault her for having health problems though. She tells me I can get a girlfriend for sex and I still feel bad.
I would rather it be her, and I'd rather she felt better. I'm sure she would want me more often if that were the case.
Sometimes life dishes out worse than people should get.

[ATL69]

Originally Posted by stronghold

Do you mean that you get laid elsewhere by a different woman??

Thats exactly what I mean...

[stronghold]

Originally Posted by ATL69

Thats exactly what I mean...

Me too bro.

No judging here. Too bad we cant grab a beer and compare notes. Cheers.

[3210launch]

I think I'm coming up on a year without sex with my wife, but maybe it's only been 8 or 9 months. She simply isn't that into it.

For anyone in a similar situation, I recommend the book "The Sex-Starved Marriage", by Michele Weiner Davis. I tried a lot of the advice in the book, but the main thing it helped me with is understanding it from my wife's point of view. I was feeling resentful but I came to see that it's not really her fault, and that she is probably as unhappy about it as I am.

Still, I'm no saint. I cheat on her sometimes, but I feel like it keeps me from becoming too frustrated and taking it out on our relationship. We've been married over a decade, so maybe it's working.

Okay, bring on the people who tolerate bestiality posts but go ballistic over cheaters.

[stronghold]

Originally Posted by 3210launch

I think I'm coming up on a year without sex with my wife, but maybe it's only been 8 or 9 months. She simply isn't that into it.

For anyone in a similar situation, I recommend the book "The Sex-Starved Marriage", by Michele Weiner Davis. I tried a lot of the advice in the book, but the main thing it helped me with is understanding it from my wife's point of view. I was feeling resentful but I came to see that it's not really her fault, and that she is probably as unhappy about it as I am.

Still, I'm no saint. I cheat on her sometimes, but I feel like it keeps me from becoming too frustrated and taking it out on our relationship. We've been married over a decade, so maybe it's working.


Okay, bring on the people who tolerate bestiality posts but go ballistic over cheaters.

Im on your side. Back when I did cheat,..it was one of the few things that would put a smile on my face. In fact, we fought alot less at that time. ....hell,..maybe she was fucking around too.

[3210launch]

Originally Posted by stronghold

Im on your side. Back when I did cheat,..it was one of the few things that would put a smile on my face. In fact, we fought alot less at that time. ....hell,..maybe she was fucking around too.

I've thought about that, and for a while I thought I'd be pissed off that she would give it to someone besides me. Now, I think I'd be partly okay with it. She deserves some sexual happiness, if she can find it. But I don't think she's looking or interested.

[stronghold]

Originally Posted by 3210launch

I've thought about that, and for a while I thought I'd be pissed off that she would give it to someone besides me. Now, I think I'd be partly okay with it. She deserves some sexual happiness, if she can find it. But I don't think she's looking or interested.

Ive looked hard at everything myself and came up empty. If I could hide it and get away with it, so could she, kwim? Her libido is either shot to hell,..or,..she has no desire for "me" anymore. She dresses so classy that it compliments her curvy figure. I know other men see her,..and Im sure she notices too. She must be turned off by me. I know she would look soo hot getting fucked by another guy. Our anniversary is several months away,...maybe, maybe, I'll get lucky that night. damn!

[Rothko]

Originally Posted by stronghold

Ive looked hard at everything myself and came up empty. If I could hide it and get away with it, so could she, kwim? Her libido is either shot to hell,..or,..she has no desire for "me" anymore. She dresses so classy that it compliments her curvy figure. I know other men see her,..and Im sure she notices too. She must be turned off by me. I know she would look soo hot getting fucked by another guy. Our anniversary is several months away,...maybe, maybe, I'll get lucky that night. damn!

I feel for you guys, it is similar for me here too. Like some of the others I do probably in excess of 90% of the housework, cooking cleaning washing cooking etc Ive tried to taolk, Ive told her how I feel but it doesnt seem to mean anything. It is like if I dont want to have sex then you shouldnt want to either. If it were the other way around I know for sure I would do my best to do something to please her

[mrpanties69]

im not thats why i went bi can always find a hard cock to fuck

[mrpanties69]

im not that why i went bi i can always find a hard cock for my ass

[makesmedream]

23 years of marriage here and sure there are times when i feel i dont get enough. Life is not one straight line. There are ups and downs. On the ups. We fuck like rabbits but on the downs its barren for weeks sometimes months. Looking back those times have genarally bee when either or both of us have been stressed or tired or shitty. They pass and there is always porn to jerk off to. Occasionaly i have seen a prostitute to get some relief and attention. Not proud of this but life is not easy and its better than affair.

[richy1611]

Im not married but i may as well be im lucky if i get it twice a month

[GoGoGadgetDICK]

Originally Posted by stronghold

Ive been married for 16 years, and NO,..I definitely don't get it as much. Right now, it's been 2mths since we've had sex. The longest drought is 4mths.

And yeah, I think Ive tried everything imaginable. My ONLY outlet is to jack-off to porn.

Now to maybe take your question to another level,..ask if any married men have had to resort to having affairs to release the tension and to feel wanted again.

Took the words out of my mouth...

The only difference is my wife and I have only been together for 7 years....were still in our 20's smh

[DLGBLG]

My husband and I have been together for 6 years. I am 30, he is 37. The couples on here who are older than us seem to be able to hold it together more and have way more sex than we do. How is that??

[mrstennbabe]

I failed to mention husband and I have been together almost 6 years

[timfree]

I get it 2x3 a week. My wife always fixes herself up. I would like to do it a little more but
we do have great sex. Been married 39 yrs.

[Lonely Rob 72]

I can echo several in here, I have been married for 14 years and there are times where it goes 2 to 3 weeks between... And doing the wash helps (I am home a lot right now) but only so much when she has no desire...

[AlonA2]

I've been married almost 28 years and sex keeps getting less and less. I have tried all of the above mentioned suggestions and many more, but my wife is just not interested in sex. Makes a guy feel real good about himself, huh? This has gone on so long that the other day she was laying on her stomach reading a book, wearing some shorts without underwear. As I left the room, I had one very small moment when I thought about stopping and touching her in a sexual way. Then all the memories of being turned down and/or her lack of participation even if she did say yes came back and I had no problem walking right on by. I will NEVER ask my wife for sex, ever again, no matter how long it has been and so far she seems to be just fine with that!

[Rothko]

Originally Posted by timfree

I get it 2x3 a week. My wife always fixes herself up. I would like to do it a little more but
we do have great sex. Been married 39 yrs.

You are one lucky dude.. 2 to 3 times a month and Id be a very happy fella

[Rothko]

Originally Posted by AlonA2

I've been married almost 28 years and sex keeps getting less and less. I have tried all of the above mentioned suggestions and many more, but my wife is just not interested in sex. Makes a guy feel real good about himself, huh? This has gone on so long that the other day she was laying on her stomach reading a book, wearing some shorts without underwear. As I left the room, I had one very small moment when I thought about stopping and touching her in a sexual way. Then all the memories of being turned down and/or her lack of participation even if she did say yes came back and I had no problem walking right on by. I will NEVER ask my wife for sex, ever again, no matter how long it has been and so far she seems to be just fine with that!

I know exactly what you mean. It is ther same for me, total lack of interest and a complete refusal to let me touch her.

Silly thing is I keep going back, hoping that perhaps this time it will be different. Trouble is it never is. It is always too late, or too early, or she has other stuff other mind.

Anyway where I used to shave her, go down on her use her toys her, make love, and she always seem to enjoy it. Now the bush resembles King Kongs Bride and is totally off limits to my fingers and way off limits to my tounge.

I dont mind the lack of shaving I dont mind the lack of penetrative sex, but I do mind the lack of feeling of being desired and the feeling you get when you touch your partner and they respsond positively, when you are able to bring to orgasm in whatever way. The feeling of being sexually close.

[AlonA2]

Originally Posted by Rothko

I know exactly what you mean. It is ther same for me, total lack of interest and a complete refusal to let me touch her.

Silly thing is I keep going back, hoping that perhaps this time it will be different. Trouble is it never is. It is always too late, or too early, or she has other stuff other mind.

Anyway where I used to shave her, go down on her use her toys her, make love, and she always seem to enjoy it. Now the bush resembles King Kongs Bride and is totally off limits to my fingers and way off limits to my tounge.

I dont mind the lack of shaving I dont mind the lack of penetrative sex, but I do mind the lack of feeling of being desired and the feeling you get when you touch your partner and they respsond positively, when you are able to bring to orgasm in whatever way. The feeling of being sexually close.

I couldn't agree more. I think my wife is and always has been afraid of being vulnerable during sex. To give herself over completely during the pleasures of sex is beyond her comprehension.

[3210launch]

Originally Posted by AlonA2

I've been married almost 28 years and sex keeps getting less and less. I have tried all of the above mentioned suggestions and many more, but my wife is just not interested in sex. Makes a guy feel real good about himself, huh? This has gone on so long that the other day she was laying on her stomach reading a book, wearing some shorts without underwear. As I left the room, I had one very small moment when I thought about stopping and touching her in a sexual way. Then all the memories of being turned down and/or her lack of participation even if she did say yes came back and I had no problem walking right on by. I will NEVER ask my wife for sex, ever again, no matter how long it has been and so far she seems to be just fine with that!

Man, I know that feeling. My wife likes me to be a little flirty and affectionate as long as she also knows it's not going to lead to actual sex or pressure for sex. In return, she's flirty back, so I don't feel like I'm getting the cold shoulder entirely. Since I'm getting some once in a while on the side, I guess I can live with her not letting me close the deal at home.

The closest I can come to explaining it is this: If you loved some guy like a brother, and you were straight and he were gay, how often would you be able to sleep with him? My wife will do something she's not into for me, having sex, once in a while. She enjoys it when we do it. But she's just not into it on her own initiative. It doesn't mean she doesn't love me, or that I'm not attractive. It's just not something she's into and she can't change that. I know she wishes it were different. But I don't think counseling can make a gay person straight, or some people who don't like sex suddenly start liking it.

[AlonA2]

Originally Posted by cum_luvah

a little over 1 year for me (married) and IM the one not gettin enough. 1-2 times a month if not that, almost 2 months. im a pissed of wife

Next time I get to Florida I will give you a call and see if we can work out your anger issues!

[stronghold]

You know what fellas,..there's one more lil thing that started bothering me. Along with many years of putting up with "turned down" sex and no longer seeing any desire in her eyes,....I noticed she really lites up when a chiseled, six pack, total body shaving, Ambercrombie & Finch wearing cover boy walks by or is near. Her clit must be quivering! Ok I know he (they) are eye candy to her,..but I for one never make it obvious that I'm checking out another women in front of her. I mean, she's not that obvious, but I have my tricks to see if she is. So she's got to be no longer attracted to me. Im 41 now and I know i don't look like Im 23 like when we met. But I still find her so hot,..I guess her story for me is much different now.

Fuuuuuuck,....

Time to seek out a gf?,...

[Silly Git]

even enough wouldn't be enough

[chosuke]

Originally Posted by stronghold

Yup,..I have a feeling when the last kiddo moves out of the house, we might as well get divorced. Even when all the kids are spending the night with friends,..she has NO interest in finally letting her guard down and having fun, chase me around the house, kinky sex with me .

Going through a similar problem. You have my sympathies.

[Williamw81]

Been married 8 years here and the sex is better than ever! She just turned 31 and is hitting her sexual prime. We probably average 4 to 7 times a week...depends on the week since we work completely different schedules. I will admit I don't get head as much as when we were dating. She likes doing it as foreplay or when I pull out ready to cum. I rarely get a complete blowjob from start to finish anymore...unless she wants to buy something expensive .

[mike94500]

Been married for 20 years, sex has totally disappeared for our daily life, I would be lucky to have twice a year. Sad, very sad indeed.
Years ago, I heard a saying that said:

During the first 2 years of your marriage, put a match or a toothpick in a box by your night stand, each time you have sex.
After the first 2 years, remove one match or toothpick after each time you have sex.
Apparently, on the day you die, there will still be matches or toothpicks in that box by your night stand.
Just food for thoughts,...

[Supersoftball]

plenty

[love2jo]

lot at first but in our 50's it has diminshed

[steven11788]

fuck my life... reading these just seemed to kill the glories of marrige.. and i am only 22

[ATL69]

Im not exactly proud about it, but yes i have resorted to a gf on the side. There is simply WAY to much pussy out there to ever go without it.

[stronghold]

Originally Posted by ATL69

Im not exactly proud about it, but yes i have resorted to a gf on the side. There is simply WAY to much pussy out there to ever go without it.

Its ok buddy,..you're not alone.
Was she married too?

[notdescriptive]

Originally Posted by pussy in boots

Here's a question for the married guys in here... How many of you are not getting enough from your wives?

God do I feel lucky. Reading all of these sad, sad stories. We have a 40th coming up and still have sex 5,6 times a week.

At one point in our marriage it seemed as if she had little desire for me. Sex was 100% at my initiative. While always ... compliant ... there was little satisfaction on my part. I just told her that I was not going to beg for sex or even ask for sex any longer.

That conversation brought about a sea change in her attitude. I think she knew that sex was important enough to me to determine if we stayed married or not. I was not going to live in a relationship where I was not wanted. Period.

Not judging anyone here. Just sharing my experience. God do I feel lucky.

[aquariusblue]

i get it , all the time , only one year married

[Omegaguy]

Originally Posted by 1txwriter

Been with my wife for 23 years, married for 17 of them (since high school). Our sex lifes is decent enough that I shouldn't complain. We average 2-3 times a month. The frustration for me is that she gets in the mood and those 2-3 times come in two days. Then the rest of the month is dry. There is also a bit of a routine to our activities that she doesn't seem willing to break from. I've tried, but she isn't interested. Part of me feels I should be happy with what I get while another part says it's reasonable to expect more.

I thought I was being ripped off only getting sex twice a week, but after reading some of the posts on here, I'm getting it a lot more than a lot of you, even though I wish it were more often, like it was up until my wife went through the change, back then it was four to five times a week

[DLGBLG]

Originally Posted by notdescriptive

God do I feel lucky. Reading all of these sad, sad stories. We have a 40th coming up and still have sex 5,6 times a week.

At one point in our marriage it seemed as if she had little desire for me. Sex was 100% at my initiative. While always ... compliant ... there was little satisfaction on my part. I just told her that I was not going to beg for sex or even ask for sex any longer.

That conversation brought about a sea change in her attitude. I think she knew that sex was important enough to me to determine if we stayed married or not. I was not going to live in a relationship where I was not wanted. Period.

Not judging anyone here. Just sharing my experience. God do I feel lucky.

I just had that conversation with mine today. We will see if any change happens. I'm not holding my breath...

[AlonA2]

Originally Posted by notdescriptive

God do I feel lucky. Reading all of these sad, sad stories. We have a 40th coming up and still have sex 5,6 times a week.

At one point in our marriage it seemed as if she had little desire for me. Sex was 100% at my initiative. While always ... compliant ... there was little satisfaction on my part. I just told her that I was not going to beg for sex or even ask for sex any longer.

That conversation brought about a sea change in her attitude. I think she knew that sex was important enough to me to determine if we stayed married or not. I was not going to live in a relationship where I was not wanted. Period.

Not judging anyone here. Just sharing my experience. God do I feel lucky.

I've had that conversation many times with my wife and it has had no effect. Sheaves not mean or nasty about not having sex, she just has no desire what so ever. And for all of the doubters out there that think it has to me, I have pondered my role numerous times looking for blame that I can put on myself. As an example....we just returned home from dinner at a nice restaurant, at my suggestion. Before we left I took clothes from the washer and hung them on the line to dry. When we returned home I gathered the dry clothes off the line, folded and put them away. Even helped her put the freshly washed sheets back on the bed! My reward? She's in bed within 30 minutes of getting home. I love my wife very much but we are not compatible when it comes to sex.

[notdescriptive]

Originally Posted by DLGBLG

I just had that conversation with mine today. We will see if any change happens. I'm not holding my breath...

I wish you the best of luck.

[notdescriptive]

Originally Posted by AlonA2

I've had that conversation many times with my wife and it has had no effect. Sheaves not mean or nasty about not having sex, she just has no desire what so ever. And for all of the doubters out there that think it has to me, I have pondered my role numerous times looking for blame that I can put on myself. As an example....we just returned home from dinner at a nice restaurant, at my suggestion. Before we left I took clothes from the washer and hung them on the line to dry. When we returned home I gathered the dry clothes off the line, folded and put them away. Even helped her put the freshly washed sheets back on the bed! My reward? She's in bed within 30 minutes of getting home. I love my wife very much but we are not compatible when it comes to sex.

I've never had the guts to do this, but wouldn't it be justified to just start pleasuring yourself while standing or laying next to an unresponsive mate?
Hope things get better for you.

[notdescriptive]

Question for the wife:

"Are you my lover, or just a wife? I have a need for both."

[notdescriptive]

As long as I'm here:
I wonder if lack of sex in a marriage is a cause of what seems to be a large quantity of mature men offering to exchange blowjobs?

[AlonA2]

At this point I have just learned how to ignore my sexual urges. As sad as it sounds, I rarely get turned on by my wife any longer.

[AlonA2]

Originally Posted by notdescriptive

Question for the wife:

"Are you my lover, or just a wife? I have a need for both."

I want my wife to be my lover. If not, she's just another mother! Don't need two of those!

[mrstennbabe]

Originally Posted by AlonA2

At this point I have just learned how to ignore my sexual urges. As sad as it sounds, I rarely get turned on by my wife any longer.

your story makes me sad. You seem like a very great husband.

[saleenyzf]

Comparing to many on here, I guess i get it alot. I get hand jobs or blow jobs almost everyday and sex quite a bit during the wk.

Only time i dont is when Im outta town for work a wk or two sometimes longer. She still sends me pics of her playing pretty much everyday tho.

We do have slow times(to me) but to many here they would def take my slow times bc it would seem like alot.

I cant complain i guess

[AlonA2]

Originally Posted by mrstennbabe

your story makes me sad. You seem like a very great husband.

Thanks, but apparantly not great enough. I grew up in a very conservative family when it came to sex but I still came out of there with the idea that sex was a wonderful, enjoyable, thrilling, and relaxing shared experience between a man and his wife. My wife can have 3 or 4 orgasms during sex which I assume feel great, but it boggles my mind that this doesn't translate into a desire to do it again in a few days. I see there's a thread about faking orgasms. Maybe I need to go and read that one!

[Funguy2bwith]

Originally Posted by cum_luvah

a little over 1 year for me (married) and IM the one not gettin enough. 1-2 times a month if not that, almost 2 months. im a pissed of wife

In the interest of helping out my fellow floridians, I believe we can help each other out here Cum Luvah! I'm bait older, hope that does kill it for ya!

[Amas-Veritas]

All of you cheaters should be ashamed of yourselves. You have the nerve to come on here and talk about how your wife doesnt give you sex any more like it her fault you cheat. Women can almost always feel it when her man is cheating. So maybe knowing you cant be faithful has something to do with her not giving it up. That beaing said, no woman who is not giving it up should expect her man to want to stay faithful. However wanting something and getting it are 2 totally different ballgames.

If your wife (the person you swore to be faitful to) stops having an interest in sexual matters and sex is a big enough deal for you that you would cheat, then just get a divorce. Or at the very least tell her you plan to go else where to have your needs met. Lying to someone that you claim to love is just pathetic. Either be together or dont, but dont lie, decieve, or cheat on someone who is none the wiser and thinks that all the love and honesty is still present in her marraige.

My husband and I are polyam for a lot of reasons, the strongest being that we both believe its against human nature to be mono. Before you get married ask yourself what would happen if the sex stopped, if the answer is anything close to cheating then dont get married.

By saying the reasons are she doesnt pay attention to you anymore, its better to just lie then leave her, we stay together for the kids, its all sorry ass excuses to make you feel better about it.

Men who cheat, ask yourself this. How would you feel if you had low T or something and didnt want sex, so meanwhile your being completely faithful albeit celibet (sp?), and you think your partner is doing the same only to find out that rather then telling you they couldnt put up with a sexless relationship they just go out and cheat. Exposing not only themselves but you as well to all sorts of undesirable STD's, STI's, etc.

Que the men who will say they dont care if she cheats and that when they cheat they always use a condom. Blah blah blah. Condoms dont protect you from much these days, except pregnancy and HIV. Think about what it would be like to give your wife, the mother of your kids, genital herpes/warts simply because you needed to get your rocks off next time your balls deep in some hooker.