for the married guys

[saleenyzf]

I use to be a cheater with gf's but My wife changed me for the better and have never considered cheating. If it came down to it which i doubt it will i would def talk to her bout our sex issue and if nothing comes out of it ask what should happen and do about the needs of myself.

[duskshade]

No I don't get enough. I would like to, though. Im not a cheater by nature so if I did, I would tell her I'm scoring on the side because I need more sex than what I am getting. generally our sex life is good, so I can complain too much.

[AlonA2]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

All of you cheaters should be ashamed of yourselves. You have the nerve to come on here and talk about how your wife doesnt give you sex any more like it her fault you cheat. Women can almost always feel it when her man is cheating. So maybe knowing you cant be faithful has something to do with her not giving it up. That beaing said, no woman who is not giving it up should expect her man to want to stay faithful. However wanting something and getting it are 2 totally different ballgames.

If your wife (the person you swore to be faitful to) stops having an interest in sexual matters and sex is a big enough deal for you that you would cheat, then just get a divorce. Or at the very least tell her you plan to go else where to have your needs met. Lying to someone that you claim to love is just pathetic. Either be together or dont, but dont lie, decieve, or cheat on someone who is none the wiser and thinks that all the love and honesty is still present in her marraige.

My husband and I are polyam for a lot of reasons, the strongest being that we both believe its against human nature to be mono. Before you get married ask yourself what would happen if the sex stopped, if the answer is anything close to cheating then dont get married.

By saying the reasons are she doesnt pay attention to you anymore, its better to just lie then leave her, we stay together for the kids, its all sorry ass excuses to make you feel better about it.

Men who cheat, ask yourself this. How would you feel if you had low T or something and didnt want sex, so meanwhile your being completely faithful albeit celibet (sp?), and you think your partner is doing the same only to find out that rather then telling you they couldnt put up with a sexless relationship they just go out and cheat. Exposing not only themselves but you as well to all sorts of undesirable STD's, STI's, etc.

Que the men who will say they dont care if she cheats and that when they cheat they always use a condom. Blah blah blah. Condoms dont protect you from much these days, except pregnancy and HIV. Think about what it would be like to give your wife, the mother of your kids, genital herpes/warts simply because you needed to get your rocks off next time your balls deep in some hooker.

Wow! First of all---I want a monogamous marriage and that is what I signed up for. I did NOT change the rules about sex in my marriage. My wife, for whatever reasons, lost her interest in sex long before I even gave a thought to cheating. You can go ahead and judge me for not having the strength to live without sex but given the agreement that you have with your husband, I doubt that you have much personal experience with that particular temptation. Second---divorce is a terrible option, in my opinion, and I still hold out hope that something will change that will return my otherwise good marriage into a great and sexually fulfilling marriage. Believe it or not, but my role as a father was and is very important to me and I will never give it up willingly by means of a divorce. And let's look at these "sorry assed" excuses from the other angle. Have you ever given thought that maybe the reason my wife doesn't like sex anymore or pay any attention to me is because SHE is the one who wants out of the marriage but doesn't want to divorce because of the kids? Maybe SHE is the one who is lying to me when she says she loves me? Third---I have asked my wife many, many times if there are emotional or physical reasons why she doesn't like sex. Her reply has always been "NO". If she had answered yes, then there is at least something to work on and I would be the first in line to support her and help find a solution. Put yourself in my shoes when given an answer like that. Pretend for a minute that your husband no longer wants sex with you and has no real answer as to why. Now pretend that he expects you to remain faithful to him and him only, in every way regardless of your past agreements. Pretend that this goes on for many years with little or no change in his attitude. Pretend that you truly love him and do not wish to divorce since there are many, many other aspects of your marriage that you value. Pretend that you have an opportunity to enjoy sex with someone other than your husband without him finding out. I hope that the day never comes for you when you don't get to pretend anymore and you find yourself with a real decision to make.

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by AlonA2

Wow! First of all---I want a monogamous marriage and that is what I signed up for. I did NOT change the rules about sex in my marriage. My wife, for whatever reasons, lost her interest in sex long before I even gave a thought to cheating. You can go ahead and judge me for not having the strength to live without sex but given the agreement that you have with your husband, I doubt that you have much personal experience with that particular temptation. Second---divorce is a terrible option, in my opinion, and I still hold out hope that something will change that will return my otherwise good marriage into a great and sexually fulfilling marriage. Believe it or not, but my role as a father was and is very important to me and I will never give it up willingly by means of a divorce. And let's look at these "sorry assed" excuses from the other angle. Have you ever given thought that maybe the reason my wife doesn't like sex anymore or pay any attention to me is because SHE is the one who wants out of the marriage but doesn't want to divorce because of the kids? Maybe SHE is the one who is lying to me when she says she loves me? Third---I have asked my wife many, many times if there are emotional or physical reasons why she doesn't like sex. Her reply has always been "NO". If she had answered yes, then there is at least something to work on and I would be the first in line to support her and help find a solution. Put yourself in my shoes when given an answer like that. Pretend for a minute that your husband no longer wants sex with you and has no real answer as to why. Now pretend that he expects you to remain faithful to him and him only, in every way regardless of your past agreements. Pretend that this goes on for many years with little or no change in his attitude. Pretend that you truly love him and do not wish to divorce since there are many, many other aspects of your marriage that you value. Pretend that you have an opportunity to enjoy sex with someone other than your husband without him finding out. I hope that the day never comes for you when you don't get to pretend anymore and you find yourself with a real decision to make.

A real decision is weather or not to cheat on a person yo incl aim to love so much that you cant divorce her?

So instead you lie and cheat. Think (without your dick) for just five seconds about the kind of hurt, pain, sadness, etc your wife, this woman you claim to love, would feel if she ever found out about what your doing. Especially if she had to find out by way of her next drs vist where an STD is discovered. All your excuses, are sorry. Just as I said before.

Not that the dynamics of my marraige is any of your concern but, if my husband ever did say any of what you describe. I WOULD ACCEPT IT. I would remain strong and have more self control then to just cheat on him. Just because my husband and I are polyam doesnt mean I havent gone without sex. I have gone without sex, probably a lot longer then you have. I have the freedoms to go where ever or to whoever I want for sex, but most of the time I reach for a toy if my husband is unavailable for whatever reason. I do this because I would rather have my husband, and most guys rank in at about a 2 on the good sex scale. Just because I know it will be brought up, the reason my husband and I are polyam is because thats the way he likes it. When we got together I hated the idea,(i was an innocent) but quickly realized that it wasnt because he wanted other people without me, he wanted to share these things with me. Also I quickly found out that if there were things I couldnt or wouldnt do for him, I could watch someone else do it for him. HIS pleasure is the most important part of sex for me. Period. Even if I dont enjoy it but he does. I get pleasure from knowing he was enjoying him self. If I could never have sex wth anyone but my husband again, even if it was once a year, or every leap year I would be faithful, and happy.

Also let me take this time to say that while you may not want a divorce and she wont even talk about how to fix the sex, then she deserves to at least know what your doing. You say you love being a father, is that what you want to teach your kids.. Its okay to cheat on your spouse if your not getting your way? You can claim the kids dont know but eventually your lies will surface, or you'll get caught. Then you lose them anyways because do you honestly think your wife is going to be okay with it all if you simply say "i cheated because I love you and didnt wanna leave you"?

Rediculous the way men think sometimes.

[mrstennbabe]

it hurts a man who truely loves his wife...when he thinks she doesn't desire him. Just like it hurts us when we aren't told we are beautiful or that we look nice

[Funguy2bwith]

Originally Posted by mrstennbabe

it hurts a man who truely loves his wife...when he thinks she doesn't desire him. Just like it hurts us when we aren't told we are beautiful or that we look nice

Oh how true Mrstennbabe!

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by mrstennbabe

it hurts a man who truely loves his wife...when he thinks she doesn't desire him. Just like it hurts us when we aren't told we are beautiful or that we look nice

Extremely true but I can just about promise finding out you have been lied to, cheated on, and humiliated for months is worse.

Especially if she doesnt even know why she isnt interested in sex anymore, and its hurting her just as much as it is him but she cant bring her self to talk about it because there doesnt seem to be a solution.

I was blessed with a sex drive that could rival a teenage boys, and if one day it just stopped without warning, and my dr couldnt figure it out I would be heartbroken and very reluctant to have to talk about it if I saw no way to fix it. Talks like always turn into one person getting pissed and demanding to know how there can not be a solution and the other person feeling worse then ever simply because they have an issue they cant fix that isnt even their fault. Now add finding out your love cheated and lied because of something that wasnt your fault.

Im not saying live without sex, I am simply saying be honest. Honesty isnt too much to ask of someone.
I have never and will never understand lying.

[thinskin]

Originally Posted by stronghold

Ive been married for 16 years, and NO,..I definitely don't get it as much. Right now, it's been 2mths since we've had sex. The longest drought is 4mths.

And yeah, I think Ive tried everything imaginable. My ONLY outlet is to jack-off to porn.

Now to maybe take your question to another level,..ask if any married men have had to resort to having affairs to release the tension and to feel wanted again.

Try asking your wife if she will jack you off to porn and then she can pick one and you can eat her out to it.

Originally Posted by stronghold

Man,...I do ALL the laundry (wash, dry, fold, even iron),..I cook and clean up the kitchen, (we take turns cooking),..I do the dishes,.. Im at her side pushing the grocery cart at the store,..I gas up her truck each weekend,..vacuum , dust, windows, toilets, blinds,..all of it my friend. I do way more than 50% of running the house. I dont mind at all,..I watched my dad help around the house growing up. But you would think, that perhaps this would make her feel, "wow, my man does so much, I should let him eat some of my sweet pussy tonight to thank him". Hahaha

Are you a cuckold?

Originally Posted by DeepinsideXXx

Same here plus working 8 to 12 hours a day. Single income household (I'm the one that makes all the money..) I can't fault her for having health problems though. She tells me I can get a girlfriend for sex and I still feel bad.
I would rather it be her, and I'd rather she felt better. I'm sure she would want me more often if that were the case.
Sometimes life dishes out worse than people should get.

I am sure if your wife saw this post she would fuck your brains out. Good luck.

Originally Posted by DLGBLG

My husband and I have been together for 6 years. I am 30, he is 37. The couples on here who are older than us seem to be able to hold it together more and have way more sex than we do. How is that??

After about 10 years we learn to ask for what you want.

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

All of you cheaters should be ashamed of yourselves. You have the nerve to come on here and talk about how your wife doesnt give you sex any more like it her fault you cheat. Women can almost always feel it when her man is cheating. So maybe knowing you cant be faithful has something to do with her not giving it up. That beaing said, no woman who is not giving it up should expect her man to want to stay faithful. However wanting something and getting it are 2 totally different ballgames.

If your wife (the person you swore to be faitful to) stops having an interest in sexual matters and sex is a big enough deal for you that you would cheat, then just get a divorce. Or at the very least tell her you plan to go else where to have your needs met. Lying to someone that you claim to love is just pathetic. Either be together or dont, but dont lie, decieve, or cheat on someone who is none the wiser and thinks that all the love and honesty is still present in her marraige.

My husband and I are polyam for a lot of reasons, the strongest being that we both believe its against human nature to be mono. Before you get married ask yourself what would happen if the sex stopped, if the answer is anything close to cheating then dont get married.

By saying the reasons are she doesnt pay attention to you anymore, its better to just lie then leave her, we stay together for the kids, its all sorry ass excuses to make you feel better about it.

Men who cheat, ask yourself this. How would you feel if you had low T or something and didnt want sex, so meanwhile your being completely faithful albeit celibet (sp?), and you think your partner is doing the same only to find out that rather then telling you they couldnt put up with a sexless relationship they just go out and cheat. Exposing not only themselves but you as well to all sorts of undesirable STD's, STI's, etc.

Que the men who will say they dont care if she cheats and that when they cheat they always use a condom. Blah blah blah. Condoms dont protect you from much these days, except pregnancy and HIV. Think about what it would be like to give your wife, the mother of your kids, genital herpes/warts simply because you needed to get your rocks off next time your balls deep in some hooker.

A bit of a rant! What you are basically saying is be honest. What most women hate about cheating is the being lied to part not the having sex with someone else part.

Originally Posted by mrstennbabe

it hurts a man who truely loves his wife...when he thinks she doesn't desire him. Just like it hurts us when we aren't told we are beautiful or that we look nice

+1

A little tip guys. Next time you are on your way to bed get a glass of water and a couple of aspirins. Offer them to your wife when she is in bed. When she says "but I do not have a headache honey" and take it from there.

Thinskin

[AlonA2]

AV. One of the things that frustrates me about this conversation is this idea that somehow lying is the worst thing that could ever be done, to her! What about what she has done? My wife is not only uninterested in sex, she is also uninterested in changing anything about our sex life. She has made her non existent desire for sex the standard for our marriage. I did not get to vote in that election! If she told me that I couldn't watch football anymore-because she doesn't like it--should I be a mindful little husband and sigh longingly at the blank tv on Sunday afternoons? If she decided that we are no longer going to eat meat---should I be a good little boy and mind my wife while the neighbor cooks steaks on his grill? If she no longer enjoys riding in the car---should I peddle my fat ass off while biking her all over town just to keep the peace? These may be poor analogies, but my point is that sex and marriage were meant to go together and when one of the people in a marriage decide that they can have their way and the other has to just live with it, then part of that marriage is not working, in my opinion. We could argue all day about who actually broke their vows first.

[thinskin]

Originally Posted by AlonA2

AV. One of the things that frustrates me about this conversation is this idea that somehow lying is the worst thing that could ever be done, to her! What about what she has done? My wife is not only uninterested in sex, she is also uninterested in changing anything about our sex life. She has made her non existent desire for sex the standard for our marriage. I did not get to vote in that election! If she told me that I couldn't watch football anymore-because she doesn't like it--should I be a mindful little husband and sigh longingly at the blank tv on Sunday afternoons? If she decided that we are no longer going to eat meat---should I be a good little boy and mind my wife while the neighbor cooks steaks on his grill? If she no longer enjoys riding in the car---should I peddle my fat ass off while biking her all over town just to keep the peace? These may be poor analogies, but my point is that sex and marriage were meant to go together and when one of the people in a marriage decide that they can have their way and the other has to just live with it, then part of that marriage is not working, in my opinion. We could argue all day about who actually broke their vows first.

Maybe what she really wants is you to drag her upstairs, push her head in the pillow and pump her arse so she cannot walk for a week. She just does not know how to word it.

Thinskin

[AlonA2]

Originally Posted by thinskin

Maybe what she really wants is you to drag her upstairs, push her head in the pillow and pump her arse so she cannot walk for a week. She just does not know how to word it.

Thinskin

Thanks for the idea. That may be one way to get her to talk about it!

[mrstennbabe]

I can say...nothing would make me feel sexier, and a turn on to my husband....than for him to rip my clothes off and just fuck the shit out of me!

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by AlonA2

AV. One of the things that frustrates me about this conversation is this idea that somehow lying is the worst thing that could ever be done, to her! What about what she has done? My wife is not only uninterested in sex, she is also uninterested in changing anything about our sex life. She has made her non existent desire for sex the standard for our marriage. I did not get to vote in that election! If she told me that I couldn't watch football anymore-because she doesn't like it--should I be a mindful little husband and sigh longingly at the blank tv on Sunday afternoons? If she decided that we are no longer going to eat meat---should I be a good little boy and mind my wife while the neighbor cooks steaks on his grill? If she no longer enjoys riding in the car---should I peddle my fat ass off while biking her all over town just to keep the peace? These may be poor analogies, but my point is that sex and marriage were meant to go together and when one of the people in a marriage decide that they can have their way and the other has to just live with it, then part of that marriage is not working, in my opinion. We could argue all day about who actually broke their vows first.

I think you misunderstand what I am saying. Im not saying be a good little boy and live with whatever your wife says. Im saying be HONEST. If she wants nothing to do with changing the current setting your sex life is then flat out tell her what you plan to do.stop going behind her back and lying. For all thecrap you posted up there its the same, if she came to you and said "look no more meat for us ever" you'd raise hell wouldnt you? Demand to know why she has decided to make this decision for both of you, etc. Then I am sure you would proceed to tell her that your not going to stop eating meat just because she doesnt want it anymore. Same thing with sex.

Im not saying become a monk, Im just saying have some respect for your wife, yourself, and whatever girl you use to get your rocks off. Just be honest.

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by thinskin

Try asking your wife if she will jack you off to porn and then she can pick one and you can eat her out to it.



Are you a cuckold?



I am sure if your wife saw this post she would fuck your brains out. Good luck.



After about 10 years we learn to ask for what you want.



A bit of a rant! What you are basically saying is be honest. What most women hate about cheating is the being lied to part not the having sex with someone else part.



+1

A little tip guys. Next time you are on your way to bed get a glass of water and a couple of aspirins. Offer them to your wife when she is in bed. When she says "but I do not have a headache honey" and take it from there.

Thinskin

EXACTLY. MY. POINT.
:D

[3210launch]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

That beaing said, no woman who is not giving it up should expect her man to want to stay faithful. However wanting something and getting it are 2 totally different ballgames.

If your wife (the person you swore to be faitful to) stops having an interest in sexual matters and sex is a big enough deal for you that you would cheat, then just get a divorce. Or at the very least tell her you plan to go else where to have your needs met.

I can see that sex is more important to you than the relationship or your spouse's feelings. I respectfully disagree.

[3210launch]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

Im not saying live without sex, I am simply saying be honest. Honesty isnt too much to ask of someone.
I have never and will never understand lying.

Maybe you've never had family over for Thanksgiving dinner.

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

For all thecrap you posted up there its the same, if she came to you and said "look no more meat for us ever" you'd raise hell wouldnt you? Demand to know why she has decided to make this decision for both of you, etc. Then I am sure you would proceed to tell her that your not going to stop eating meat just because she doesnt want it anymore. Same thing with sex.

This might be the worst analogy ever but I'll try to go along with it. Asking your wife if you can be a vegetarian at home but sometimes have a burger for lunch is not the same thing as telling her she has a choice between divorce or letting you fuck someone else. Okay, I guess I couldn't go along with your terrible fucking analogy. No wonder you don't understand the problem and have no sympathy for couples in this situation.

Since you've been free with your marital advice, let me offer you some. When you're arguing, do not try to win with "my way or divorce". Because even if you get your way you have weakened the relationship. You've introduced the possibility of divorce and the insecurity will undermine all kinds of things. Try, when you're losing an argument, to close with "I don't know what we're going to do, but we're going to solve this together."

By your words, your BF told you he wanted to fuck other people or he'd leave you, and you hated the idea. But because he was willing to leave you over sex and you weren't willing to let him go, you went along with it. Good for you. But don't assume everyone else wants their love to be considered a less important than their ability to fuck.

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by 3210launch

Maybe you've never had family over for Thanksgiving dinner.



This might be the worst analogy ever but I'll try to go along with it. Asking your wife if you can be a vegetarian at home but sometimes have a burger for lunch is not the same thing as telling her she has a choice between divorce or letting you fuck someone else. Okay, I guess I couldn't go along with your terrible fucking analogy. No wonder you don't understand the problem and have no sympathy for couples in this situation.

Since you've been free with your marital advice, let me offer you some. When you're arguing, do not try to win with "my way or divorce". Because even if you get your way you have weakened the relationship. You've introduced the possibility of divorce and the insecurity will undermine all kinds of things. Try, when you're losing an argument, to close with "I don't know what we're going to do, but we're going to solve this together."

By your words, your BF told you he wanted to fuck other people or he'd leave you, and you hated the idea. But because he was willing to leave you over sex and you weren't willing to let him go, you went along with it. Good for you. But don't assume everyone else wants their love to be considered a less important than their ability to fuck.

Maybe you want to go back up and see im not the one who came up with that analogy, I was quoting and responding to someone else who made it so stfu.

Also, dickmeat, I never said sex was more important then his feelings. What I said was... Honesty is the best route.

Not that I owe you any explanations but no we didnt start being poly because he wanted to fuck other people. We became this way because he is bisexual (like me) and didnt just want to have fuck toys. He wanted to be able to allow me to have a steady girlfriend and him a boyfriend. We didnt even actually have sex with anyone but each other for a looong time.


If getting your rocks off is more important then being loyal to your wife, or her feelings, then by all means carry on, liar.

[thinskin]

Originally Posted by 3210launch

Maybe you've never had family over for Thanksgiving dinner.



This might be the worst analogy ever but I'll try to go along with it. Asking your wife if you can be a vegetarian at home but sometimes have a burger for lunch is not the same thing as telling her she has a choice between divorce or letting you fuck someone else. Okay, I guess I couldn't go along with your terrible fucking analogy. No wonder you don't understand the problem and have no sympathy for couples in this situation.

Since you've been free with your marital advice, let me offer you some. When you're arguing, do not try to win with "my way or divorce". Because even if you get your way you have weakened the relationship. You've introduced the possibility of divorce and the insecurity will undermine all kinds of things. Try, when you're losing an argument, to close with "I don't know what we're going to do, but we're going to solve this together."

By your words, your BF told you he wanted to fuck other people or he'd leave you, and you hated the idea. But because he was willing to leave you over sex and you weren't willing to let him go, you went along with it. Good for you. But don't assume everyone else wants their love to be considered a less important than their ability to fuck.

Miouwwwww!

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

Maybe you want to go back up and see im not the one who came up with that analogy, I was quoting and responding to someone else who made it so stfu.

Also, dickmeat, I never said sex was more important then his feelings. What I said was... Honesty is the best route.

Not that I owe you any explanations but no we didnt start being poly because he wanted to fuck other people. We became this way because he is bisexual (like me) and didnt just want to have fuck toys. He wanted to be able to allow me to have a steady girlfriend and him a boyfriend. We didnt even actually have sex with anyone but each other for a looong time.


If getting your rocks off is more important then being loyal to your wife, or her feelings, then by all means carry on, liar.

Angry fuck alert!

Thinskin

[bentsteel]

My girlfriend of 4 years has zero sex drive! Mine is high,even for my age, (5. We have a great relationship beyond that,& love being together. Relationships can survive with out sex, but sex will not survive without a good relationship. I bet many of us are here because our sex lives are wanting! My frustration over sex would pale against my dissappoitment of losing this wonderful woman.

[senorlongo]

For about forty years it was three times a week--minimum. Now that I am older, mid-60's, with some health issues, it's down to 1-2 times weekly. I will never understand all the posters who are married but not having sex. Worse are those engaged and not getting any. Trust me it won't get better after the wedding.

[swingerguy95621]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

Extremely true but I can just about promise finding out you have been lied to, cheated on, and humiliated for months is worse.

+1000000000 agree.

My ex thought i was cheating on her for over a year so she decided to go fuck her ex bf from high school and be with him for 4months before telling me everything. The fucked up part was i never cheated on her, but she never believed me. So she never even confronted me about what she suspected before she ran off with him.

Originally Posted by senorlongo

For about forty years it was three times a week--minimum. Now that I am older, mid-60's, with some health issues, it's down to 1-2 times weekly. I will never understand all the posters who are married but not having sex. Worse are those engaged and not getting any. Trust me it won't get better after the wedding.

i had a friend that dated this girl for a few years. They had sex once a week...nothing too special. Once they got married it went to 5times aweek until she got pregnant. Then none during pregnancy or afterwards....EVER ! she admitted she only wanted 1 child and sex has no other purpose than for courting and procreation. After thats all done, no sex. ever. needless to say he divorced her. She NEVER let on this was how she felt before they had the kid.

[3210launch]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

Also, dickmeat, I never said sex was more important then his feelings. What I said was... Honesty is the best route.

Not that I owe you any explanations but no we didnt start being poly because he wanted to fuck other people. We became this way because he is bisexual (like me) and didnt just want to have fuck toys. He wanted to be able to allow me to have a steady girlfriend and him a boyfriend. We didnt even actually have sex with anyone but each other for a looong time.

If getting your rocks off is more important then being loyal to your wife, or her feelings, then by all means carry on, liar.

Oh, I think you do owe me an explanation. If you're judging my marriage, don't I get to judge your poly-fuck with children?

You said that it was his idea and you hated it for a long time. I wonder how you'll explain that to your offspring. "If you have the power, threaten to leave unless you get what you want. If you don't, well, you have no choice but to go along with things you hate." That's the kind of honesty they'll appreciate for years to come.

At what age will you be completely honest with your child?

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by 3210launch

Oh, I think you do owe me an explanation. If you're judging my marriage, don't I get to judge your poly-fuck with children?

You said that it was his idea and you hated it for a long time. I wonder how you'll explain that to your offspring. "If you have the power, threaten to leave unless you get what you want. If you don't, well, you have no choice but to go along with things you hate." That's the kind of honesty they'll appreciate for years to come.

At what age will you be completely honest with your child?

Im not sure if you cant read or if your really just this stupid.

In either case your confused. So allow me to correct that, I, nor my husband, has EVER (i say again) EVER threatened to leave the other for any reason at all.

My "poly fuck", (your ignorant term) isn't a free for all fuck fest. We have actual relationships with people we care about because we both believe that love is endless. If he came to me right now and said that for the rest of our lives he never wanted sex again and wanted me to be faithfil I would be fine with that. I have a toy chest that can fix my issues. However, should I ever decide that the toys were no longer enough I would (pay attention here) SIT DOWN AND TELL HIM THE TRUTH!! Tell him that rather then go behind his back and cheat I would like his consent to go get my needs met elsewhere because I love him and value our relationship more then sex. If at that point he said no I couldnt have his consent, I'd shop for new toys. End of story.

I would NOT however do what you do. Look the person I love in the eyes everyday and LIE, all while knowing I went out and fucked someone else behind his back. I wouldnt do what you do, because I would know in my heart how hurt he would be if he found out I lied/cheated and the gulit would eat me alive. My husband, is the most important thing to me, after my daughter. So to recap in case you missed it again, I dont fuck random people,(although your playing POT by trying to say I do, when your an admitted cheater) I would never lie to my husband, and I would never cheat. I would show a little more fucking self control and I would NEVER out my hisbands feelings at risk just so I could get off.

Now about my child, not that she is any of your concern, but I will be 110% honest with her about everything form the very first day she is old enough to ask.

Going back to my relationship for a sec though, yes I was opposed to the idea of the lifestyle we lived because I was very caught up in "waht would people say" not because I wanted him to restrict himself or to restrict myself. Like being gay and being scared to "come out".

I quickly got over all my issues and our relationship is damn near perfect.

Now if only I could get him to stop leaving his dirty socks in the floor.

So one more time for you since your slow.. Im not saying threaten to leave. Im saying TELL THE FUCKING TRUTH YOU SPINELESS COWARD.

[whatwhat2]

Originally Posted by mrstennbabe

ill answer for my husband. He's not getting it enough. I'm still in the postpartum, no sex zone. (Not medically "allowed". However...juss because the ferris wheel is broke, the whole park isn't closed. He got a blow job 3 days postpartum...has gotten them fairly regularly too.

congrats and God bless you! i have a one year old and i cant even get a handy. well i guess i can get my own handy anyway

[3210launch]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

Im not saying threaten to leave. Im saying TELL THE FUCKING TRUTH YOU SPINELESS COWARD.

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

If your wife (the person you swore to be faitful to) stops having an interest in sexual matters and sex is a big enough deal for you that you would cheat, then just get a divorce. Or at the very least tell her you plan to go else where to have your needs met.

You're not saying that that I should threaten to leave unless my wife puts out, but that I should just skip right to the divorce? You thought that through on your own, did you?

Or, just tell her "Hey, I'm going to be poly-fucking, you'll hate the idea for a while but eventually you'll cave". That's your sage advice?

There's more to a relationship than honesty. Honesty is easy if you don't give a shit about the other person. It's easy, if you don't care about someone, to say "I'm going to poly-fuck, and you can too, or you can just leave".

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by 3210launch

You're not saying that that I should threaten to leave unless my wife puts out, but that I should just skip right to the divorce? You thought that through on your own, did you?

Or, just tell her "Hey, I'm going to be poly-fucking, you'll hate the idea for a while but eventually you'll cave". That's your sage advice?

There's more to a relationship than honesty. Honesty is easy if you don't give a shit about the other person. It's easy, if you don't care about someone, to say "I'm going to poly-fuck, and you can too, or you can just leave".

Once again your trying to use any excuse you can to justify being a coward. I am honest with my husband because I love him, just like he is honest with me for the same reason. Go find your wife, ask her if she would rather you come tell her that you want to go else where to have your needs met or if she would rather continue on none the wiser till she finds out you have been cheating and lying or you both end up with a lifetime STD.

As for this stupid poly fucking shit you keep going back to, even if I was fucking every cock on the block you better believe my husband would KNOW, it wouldnt be some dirty lie that I hade to hide in fear he might divorce me if he found out, or that it would hurt his feelings.

All because you couldnt grow a pair of balls and admit that you want sex so bad your willing to lie, decieve, scheme, plot etc etc behind her back to get it.

I promise you, almsot anyone would rather.be told the truth, no matter how painful, then to find out they had been lied to for months.

So continue to use whatever lie/excuse you have to hide behind to justify your cheating but when your wife finds out, comes to you heartbroken and asks why you had to lie to her, remember that "oh I lied and cheated because I love you and I care about feelings" isnt going to get you forgiven.

Such a coward. Your poor wife. Good GOD I wish I had more to go on then just your IP adress. I'd print your admition of cheating and mail it to your wife. She deserves to know shes being lied to. If you have any self respect, or respect for your wife you will either tell her truth or stop cheating. Show some self control.

[cypheric]

a relationship that is build on a foundation of lies will soon crumble and fall

[Old Tool]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

I promise you, almsot anyone would rather.be told the truth, no matter how painful, then to find out they had been lied to for months.

This is a common misconception. It has been demonstrated that people, in general, have much less stress rationalizing and denying some truths than confronting them. Being 100% honest about everything, all of the time, is not a recipe for some kind of relationship bliss - far from it.

I think a person who has made themselves aware of their partners needs, limitations, sensitivities, etc. shows their affection by not rubbing their partners nose in that which might be especially painful in the name of "truth".

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by Old Tool

This is a common misconception. It has been demonstrated that people, in general, have much less stress rationalizing and denying some truths than confronting them. Being 100% honest about everything, all of the time, is not a recipe for some kind of relationship bliss - far from it.

I think a person who has made themselves aware of their partners needs, limitations, sensitivities, etc. shows their affection by not rubbing their partners nose in that which might be especially painful in the name of "truth".

I see what your saying if it were something less serious. Cheating is cheating is cheating.

Honestly would you rather live in blissful ignorance while you SO went out and cheated, or would you rather know?

Eventually, everyone gets caught and people get hurt. Aviod all that by simply being honest.

[3210launch]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

I see what your saying if it were something less serious. Cheating is cheating is cheating.

Honestly would you rather live in blissful ignorance while you SO went out and cheated, or would you rather know?

Eventually, everyone gets caught and people get hurt. Aviod all that by simply being honest.

If your partner feels some shame and regret about not satisfying you sexually (by not having sex with you), I think there's good reason to think they would rather live in semi-blissful ignorance.

Compassion is compassion is compassion. I think it trumps honesty.

And if my wife were to cheat on me, after having been uninterested in sex for all these years, I'd be kind of upset and (hopefully) kind of happy for her. I'd like her to have a fulfilling sex life. But put me down in the blissful ignorance column. I don't think I'd confront her, and I don't really want to hear her say "I'll be back in the morning, after I poly-fuck someone who can satisfy me in a way you can't".

[3210launch]

Old Tool, thanks.

[hornyhubby74]

Been married 15 years and together 20...we often go up to six months with nothing....then about two weeks to a month where things go pretty good and we have sex multiple times....

she has gained a lot of weight over the years, and feels insecure...so even though I am wanting it, she doesn't think she is attractive enough, and depression issues make it even worse.

Mostly I just use this forum, stories and movies to help me get buy in between.....

[Old Tool]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

I see what your saying if it were something less serious. Cheating is cheating is cheating.

Honestly would you rather live in blissful ignorance while you SO went out and cheated, or would you rather know?

Eventually, everyone gets caught and people get hurt. Aviod all that by simply being honest.

The error you're making here is imposing your moral values onto the world at large. Since you would feel very hurt if your partner wasn't 100% truthful, you assume others feel the same way. Some people do feel like you do, many do not, some have never even asked that question of themselves.

I'd suggest that trying to insist a particular moral viewpoint is the "right" one in a place like this is kind of silly. Unless you know intimate details of any given situation, I believe it's rude to try to shame somebody else's choices. I was where you are once - convinced that certain things are always right and other things are always wrong - you'll have a more stress-free life if you let go of that and just live.

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by 3210launch

If your partner feels some shame and regret about not satisfying you sexually (by not having sex with you), I think there's good reason to think they would rather live in semi-blissful ignorance.

Compassion is compassion is compassion. I think it trumps honesty.

And if my wife were to cheat on me, after having been uninterested in sex for all these years, I'd be kind of upset and (hopefully) kind of happy for her. I'd like her to have a fulfilling sex life. But put me down in the blissful ignorance column. I don't think I'd confront her, and I don't really want to hear her say "I'll be back in the morning, after I poly-fuck someone who can satisfy me in a way you can't".

Can you honestly say that your wife would rather not know? Even after she finds out she has been lied to, do you think she will be glad she didnt know? If so then by all means carry on. You call lying and cheating an act of compassion, its not. Its saving your tail. You get to have your cake and eat it too. In another thread on the front page people are flaming a woman for wanting to be with a girl without her husband in the room (he knows its happening though) but people are lining up to defend men cheating on their wives. If you wanted to show compassion you would show self control and stop giving yourself a reason to lie. I wasnt trying to offend any one or push my morals onto anyone else as the other person hell bent on arguing with me is saying. Im just trying to show a females perspective. Just like the other thread on cheating where you (Launch) were arguing with Snoochies about her perspective, which by the way, is the same as mine. It has nothing to do with morals or what not, its more just an opinion I suppose. Your opinion is that your showing compassion by cheating, mine is your a lying coward. Not just you, all cheaters.

In response to your last line:

My husband and I do everything sexual together. As Swinger guy once said in another thread, we live by the "Everyone plays, or no body does". We arent going to other people to get things we cant get from each other (except when he wants something absolutely beyond my skill) we have other play partners/relationhips so we can share these experiences with each other. When we got together I was very very untaught having only had sex about 5 times, so we experience new things together. No one has to supress any desire they might have and no one has to lie or cheat to get what they want. I call being able to indulge your own and your partners wants/fantasies compassion.

[Mr.K Skins]

Amas

You've taken a very adamant stance on a topic, I think, you have no experience with. I'm fairly confident that you've never in your life been turned down for sex. Certainly not twice in a row at least. And never for an entire week or a month. So it's easy for you to say that you would remain faithful and never cheat under any circumstances. But I ask you to consider this: if you could have asked Lorena Bobbitt on her wedding day when everything was happy and perfect, she would never tell you "Yes, one day when my husband's asleep, I'm going to cut his dick off and then throw it out the window as I'm driving away."

Nobody thinks they would ever do the wrong thing until after they've done it.

And on a side note, I have to call you out on your last post "We do everything sexually together." I've seen two posts from you where you described each of you having sex when the other was not present. You sent your husband over to have sex with a girl because she was desperate to get laid and you couldn't help her out because you were on your period. And another time you took a guy to the beach and your husband was initially upset when you told him because he assumed you went to your special spot but he was ok after you told him ya'll went to a different spot on the beach. In both cases you made it clear that each of you had the other's permission and it may be a small distinction in your mind, but you weren't together and it doesn't fit the criteria of "Everybody plays or nobody plays."

[Humble man]

Deffo not getting enough.........Thats why i'm on here!!

[mrstennbabe]

Originally Posted by Mr.K Skins

Amas

I'm fairly confident that you've never in your life been turned down for sex. Certainly not twice in a row at least. And never for an entire week or a month. nobody plays.

She may not have been turned down for sex 2 times in a row...or an entire week...

but I certainly have been

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by Mr.K Skins

Amas

You've taken a very adamant stance on a topic, I think, you have no experience with. I'm fairly confident that you've never in your life been turned down for sex. Certainly not twice in a row at least. And never for an entire week or a month. So it's easy for you to say that you would remain faithful and never cheat under any circumstances. But I ask you to consider this: if you could have asked Lorena Bobbitt on her wedding day when everything was happy and perfect, she would never tell you "Yes, one day when my husband's asleep, I'm going to cut his dick off and then throw it out the window as I'm driving away."

Nobody thinks they would ever do the wrong thing until after they've done it.

And on a side note, I have to call you out on your last post "We do everything sexually together." I've seen two posts from you where you described each of you having sex when the other was not present. You sent your husband over to have sex with a girl because she was desperate to get laid and you couldn't help her out because you were on your period. And another time you took a guy to the beach and your husband was initially upset when you told him because he assumed you went to your special spot but he was ok after you told him ya'll went to a different spot on the beach. In both cases you made it clear that each of you had the other's permission and it may be a small distinction in your mind, but you weren't together and it doesn't fit the criteria of "Everybody plays or nobody plays."

Your right, people dont normally know what they would do in extreme situations. In this on, I know exactly what I would do. Not saying it again because I tire of this argument. Have you noticed its only men coming to the defense of other men who are cheating. Not a single girl has jumped on here and said "sure lie to me instead of hurt my feelings by telling me you wanna get some from someone else".

I have been denied sex, several times if you must know. Im not as pretty to everyday guys in public as the horny males on a porn site seem to think I am.


Yes my husband and I have played alone, I didnt mean to imply that we had never done anything without the other. What I mean is, the only time we have done stuff without the other is if the other wasnt able to for some reason. I was trying to say that its not the epic tragic situation of going out to get satisfied by someone else as Launch is trying to say. Its just a fun experience. The every body plays or no one does rule means that if I go out and have an encounter alone he has to be free to do the same. Basically a what goes for the goose, goes for the gander as well.

Im sick of this argument because men will always use any excuse possible to try and justify what they are doing. So im just reapeating myself over and over and having my worss twisted around by Launch.

Although I gotta say, of everything on this site, the "I cheated because I love you" excuse has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever come across. Compared in ingnorance only by Launchs post in Snoochies thread where he says that honesty isnt everything and goes on to say say trust (and some other stuff) is what a relationship is about.

I mention this only because Im curious, who trusts someone they know is dishonest?!

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by mrstennbabe

She may not have been turned down for sex 2 times in a row...or an entire week...

but I certainly have been

Whoever turned you down must have been crazy to pass up the chance.

Or had some extreme case of stress going on.

[mrstennbabe]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

Whoever turned you down must have been crazy to pass up the chance.

Or had some extreme case of stress going on.

I feel the same about you mama! We should just take our babies and live happily ever after together lol

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by mrstennbabe

I feel the same about you mama! We should just take our babies and live happily ever after together lol

Man what an idea!! Most days I would say i'd miss my Blakey too much but shew.. He has been off work all day today and is making me crazy. I swear I want baked xbox for dinner!

How's the little man and the husband?

[mrstennbabe]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

Man what an idea!! Most days I would say i'd miss my Blakey too much but shew.. He has been off work all day today and is making me crazy. I swear I want baked xbox for dinner!

How's the little man and the husband?

great. he is a super baby! He was born at 8lbs 2oz... at his 2 week appt...17 days old.. he weighed 9lbs 10oz! He eats like a damned pig. anywhere between 2-4oz!!! every 2-3 hours! babies his age "should" be eatting only1-2 oz every 3 hours.. lol as my pedi said.. "he's a little piggy" lol

He only gets pumped breastmilk apparently i Have flat nipples.. they will get hard..but once they get in his mouth they go flat.

I can use a breast shield.. but he doesn't like it.. he gets pissed off when I'm trying to feed him. So I just bought a pump and said fuck it. (even tho I reallly wanna put him to boob) but atleast i'm still giving him SOMETHING.

Husband is great with him.. he adjusted fast and has learned to be a daddy fast. He gets annoyed at night when he is screaming..but... i just have to remind him this is the only way they know how to communicate right now.

but yea.. my son is a GREAT baby.. he had to get blood work done the other day ..where they prick their little foot....and he was asleep..and I gave him to my husband ( so he'd be the one holding him in the event that he cried..and could give him to mama lol)

my SUPER sexy lab dude (hehe) pricked his foot.. son NEVER even flinched or woke up lol.. I'm very impressed with my angel. He only cries if he's hungry.. we got a good one apparently. ( and very handsome)

and now that we derailed the tread with baby talk lol

[Mr.K Skins]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

Your right, people dont normally know what they would do in extreme situations. In this on, I know exactly what I would do. Not saying it again because I tire of this argument. Have you noticed its only men coming to the defense of other men who are cheating. Not a single girl has jumped on here and said "sure lie to me instead of hurt my feelings by telling me you wanna get some from someone else".

I have been denied sex, several times if you must know. Im not as pretty to everyday guys in public as the horny males on a porn site seem to think I am.


Yes my husband and I have played alone, I didnt mean to imply that we had never done anything without the other. What I mean is, the only time we have done stuff without the other is if the other wasnt able to for some reason. I was trying to say that its not the epic tragic situation of going out to get satisfied by someone else as Launch is trying to say. Its just a fun experience. The every body plays or no one does rule means that if I go out and have an encounter alone he has to be free to do the same. Basically a what goes for the goose, goes for the gander as well.

Im sick of this argument because men will always use any excuse possible to try and justify what they are doing. So im just reapeating myself over and over and having my worss twisted around by Launch.

Although I gotta say, of everything on this site, the "I cheated because I love you" excuse has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever come across. Compared in ingnorance only by Launchs post in Snoochies thread where he says that honesty isnt everything and goes on to say say trust (and some other stuff) is what a relationship is about.

I mention this only because Im curious, who trusts someone they know is dishonest?!

Well, if you'll notice, I didn't defend anybody. The only point I wanted to make is that no one knows exactly what they will do until after they've done it. And maybe you might want to consider that you are living your ideal lifestyle before you are so quick to vehemently condemn people who aren't as fortunate as you.

About the "no women are saying yes I want to be lied to," maybe we should start a thread about women who are cheating on their husbands and see how many defend dishonesty for the sake of a peaceful household.

And that's not a defense either, just making the point that there are plenty of dishonest women too.

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by mrstennbabe

great. he is a super baby! He was born at 8lbs 2oz... at his 2 week appt...17 days old.. he weighed 9lbs 10oz! He eats like a damned pig. anywhere between 2-4oz!!! every 2-3 hours! babies his age "should" be eatting only1-2 oz every 3 hours.. lol as my pedi said.. "he's a little piggy" lol

He only gets pumped breastmilk apparently i Have flat nipples.. they will get hard..but once they get in his mouth they go flat.

I can use a breast shield.. but he doesn't like it.. he gets pissed off when I'm trying to feed him. So I just bought a pump and said fuck it. (even tho I reallly wanna put him to boob) but atleast i'm still giving him SOMETHING.

Husband is great with him.. he adjusted fast and has learned to be a daddy fast. He gets annoyed at night when he is screaming..but... i just have to remind him this is the only way they know how to communicate right now.

but yea.. my son is a GREAT baby.. he had to get blood work done the other day ..where they prick their little foot....and he was asleep..and I gave him to my husband ( so he'd be the one holding him in the event that he cried..and could give him to mama lol)

my SUPER sexy lab dude (hehe) pricked his foot.. son NEVER even flinched or woke up lol.. I'm very impressed with my angel. He only cries if he's hungry.. we got a good one apparently. ( and very handsome)

and now that we derailed the tread with baby talk lol

Awww he sounds like an amazing little guy! Dont be upset about him not getting the milk from the source, I never made any milk so I didnt get to breast feed. I did loom up surro nursers though so munchkin got some good stuff.

How's he sleeping so far? If he's eating so good he is probably sleeping pretty good right?

[mrstennbabe]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

Awww he sounds like an amazing little guy! Dont be upset about him not getting the milk from the source, I never made any milk so I didnt get to breast feed. I did loom up surro nursers though so munchkin got some good stuff.

How's he sleeping so far? If he's eating so good he is probably sleeping pretty good right?

yep..great sleeper.. he usually has a "rough" spell everynight around 11pm.. where he wants to just fuss a little. Which I'm now used to it and expect it... and he just wants to fuss...for whatever reason lol

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by Mr.K Skins

Well, if you'll notice, I didn't defend anybody. The only point I wanted to make is that no one knows exactly what they will do until after they've done it. And maybe you might want to consider that you are living your ideal lifestyle before you are so quick to vehemently condemn people who aren't as fortunate as you.

About the "no women are saying yes I want to be lied to," maybe we should start a thread about women who are cheating on their husbands and see how many defend dishonesty for the sake of a peaceful household.

And that's not a defense either, just making the point that there are plenty of dishonest women too.

Yes but see thats the point I am trying to make. Its not an excuse yet thats what these men are doing. They cheat because they want sex and a wife whom they have a nice relationship with.However if wifey stops giving it up rather then telling her the situation has gotten severe enough that they are thinking of going outaide the relationship to have needs met and giving said wife the CHANCE to correct it, they resolve to just have their cake and eat it to. So long as wifey is none the wiser they are living their ideal lifestyle.

Yes I live my ideal life style but I worked hard for it, a lot of trust (which by the way comes from being lied to), a lot of compassion, willingness to explorer and just talk/listen to my husband without judgement or supressing him.

Yes there are many many dishonest women. Being a Marine wife and living on base with the other.Marine Wives for neighbors has taught me some women are worse then men. However the members here are so quick to flame them.

Just like I have already adressed, the thread about the girl wanting a woman without her husband, (he still at least knows of it) and yet people here are flaming her. Telling her things like she needs to just be happy that she has a husband etc.

Double standards at work again.

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by mrstennbabe

yep..great sleeper.. he usually has a "rough" spell everynight around 11pm.. where he wants to just fuss a little. Which I'm now used to it and expect it... and he just wants to fuss...for whatever reason lol

I think.if you look that up its something all babies do in the evening/night something about it being like a reset button. Cant exactly remember. Im sure I dont have to tell you, but enjoy these days as they go so fast.

[Mr.K Skins]

Originally Posted by mrstennbabe

great. he is a super baby! He was born at 8lbs 2oz... at his 2 week appt...17 days old.. he weighed 9lbs 10oz! He eats like a damned pig. anywhere between 2-4oz!!! every 2-3 hours! babies his age "should" be eatting only1-2 oz every 3 hours.. lol as my pedi said.. "he's a little piggy" lol

He only gets pumped breastmilk apparently i Have flat nipples.. they will get hard..but once they get in his mouth they go flat.

I can use a breast shield.. but he doesn't like it.. he gets pissed off when I'm trying to feed him. So I just bought a pump and said fuck it. (even tho I reallly wanna put him to boob) but atleast i'm still giving him SOMETHING.

Husband is great with him.. he adjusted fast and has learned to be a daddy fast. He gets annoyed at night when he is screaming..but... i just have to remind him this is the only way they know how to communicate right now.

but yea.. my son is a GREAT baby.. he had to get blood work done the other day ..where they prick their little foot....and he was asleep..and I gave him to my husband ( so he'd be the one holding him in the event that he cried..and could give him to mama lol)

my SUPER sexy lab dude (hehe) pricked his foot.. son NEVER even flinched or woke up lol.. I'm very impressed with my angel. He only cries if he's hungry.. we got a good one apparently. ( and very handsome)

and now that we derailed the tread with baby talk lol

Hey Babe, that sounds great! I'm glad he didn't end up being super cranky or something. Kids are so amazing and beautiful when they're brand new. Every little thing they do seems like a glorious miracle.

[mrstennbabe]

Originally Posted by Mr.K Skins

Hey Babe, that sounds great! I'm glad he didn't end up being super cranky or something. Kids are so amazing and beautiful when they're brand new. Every little thing they do seems like a glorious miracle.

He smiled at me today. I know infants randomly smile while learning to use their face muscles..but he ACTUALLY smiled at me.. I was pinching his face ( GENTLY!!!!) to make him make fish face.. and saying " you want some nom nom" ( nom nom= milk) and he smiled..and I did it again.. he smiled again and squeeled. was awesome

[naughtysnap]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

Extremely true but I can just about promise finding out you have been lied to, cheated on, and humiliated for months is worse.

Especially if she doesnt even know why she isnt interested in sex anymore, and its hurting her just as much as it is him but she cant bring her self to talk about it because there doesnt seem to be a solution.

I was blessed with a sex drive that could rival a teenage boys, and if one day it just stopped without warning, and my dr couldnt figure it out I would be heartbroken and very reluctant to have to talk about it if I saw no way to fix it. Talks like always turn into one person getting pissed and demanding to know how there can not be a solution and the other person feeling worse then ever simply because they have an issue they cant fix that isnt even their fault. Now add finding out your love cheated and lied because of something that wasnt your fault.

Im not saying live without sex, I am simply saying be honest. Honesty isnt too much to ask of someone.
I have never and will never understand lying.

I wasn't gonna share "too much" information about myself but this thread is kinda bringing it out of me.

I speak from experience that lying and hiding activities is the WORST thing you can do to another human being. That is trust that is very very VERY difficult to gain back.