for the married guys

[naughtysnap]

Originally Posted by 3210launch

I can see that sex is more important to you than the relationship or your spouse's feelings. I respectfully disagree.

As a wife of a confessed cheater I whole-heartedly agree with her...
be honest, be forthcoming, be sensitive, but most importantly...BE A MAN

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by naughtysnap

As a wife of a confessed cheater I whole-heartedly agree with her...
be honest, be forthcoming, be sensitive, but most importantly...BE A MAN

Oh my I heart you for saying this! Thank you for giving them the perspective from the other side of the fence.

[naughtysnap]

The funniest/saddest part of OUR story...is that if he HAD talked to me, included me in his decisions, and not lied, hid, and cheated he would have been rewarded with finding out that I am actually a bigger pervert than he is. But we are working through the past and its a better late than never kinda deal.

[3210launch]

Originally Posted by naughtysnap

The funniest/saddest part of OUR story...is that if he HAD talked to me, included me in his decisions, and not lied, hid, and cheated he would have been rewarded with finding out that I am actually a bigger pervert than he is. But we are working through the past and its a better late than never kinda deal.

I think that shows why you don't understand the situation with my wife and I. She's nota bigger pervert than I am. She's not one at all. You can't imagine denying your husband sex for almost a decade. Can you imagine how you'd feel if he refused sex with you for that long?

Some things, once said, can't be taken back. If your husband told you that every time he saw your mom it gave him a hard on named Iron Man Jr., and that he wasn't sure how long he could hold out, how would you feel? Now think: After you tell him no-can-do, and you have a knock-down-drag-out, and your husband threatens divorce, you finally win and he says he won't hit on her. Are you going to feel comfortable letting him stop by her house to fix the sink? Or are you always going to have a new wedge of distrust?

I've told my wife, I've fought with her, I've turned cold to her, I've hounded her, I've begged her. I now regret almost all of it, because I know it's not her fault. I didn't realize that before. I never threatened divorce or told her I'd cheat on her, and I'm glad that I didn't.

By the way, the closest I got to divorce was when I turned cold. I thought if she was rejecting me, then I would reject her. That's worse than being angry. She felt the rejection and started to shut down to me, and the whole thing was spiraling down. The hard lesson for me to learn was how to be affectionate, and flirty, but not to push toward sex.

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by 3210launch

I think that shows why you don't understand the situation with my wife and I. She's nota bigger pervert than I am. She's not one at all. You can't imagine denying your husband sex for almost a decade. Can you imagine how you'd feel if he refused sex with you for that long?

Some things, once said, can't be taken back. If your husband told you that every time he saw your mom it gave him a hard on named Iron Man Jr., and that he wasn't sure how long he could hold out, how would you feel? Now think: After you tell him no-can-do, and you have a knock-down-drag-out, and your husband threatens divorce, you finally win and he says he won't hit on her. Are you going to feel comfortable letting him stop by her house to fix the sink? Or are you always going to have a new wedge of distrust?

I've told my wife, I've fought with her, I've turned cold to her, I've hounded her, I've begged her. I now regret almost all of it, because I know it's not her fault. I didn't realize that before. I never threatened divorce or told her I'd cheat on her, and I'm glad that I didn't.

By the way, the closest I got to divorce was when I turned cold. I thought if she was rejecting me, then I would reject her. That's worse than being angry. She felt the rejection and started to shut down to me, and the whole thing was spiraling down. The hard lesson for me to learn was how to be affectionate, and flirty, but not to push toward sex.

How long do think it'll take for her to "shut down to you" when she finds out you have been lying, cheating, & exposing her to STD's for over a decade.

Yeah that little surprise is so much more compassionate then just telling her you have needs that have to met and trying to work on a compromise.

[3210launch]

The strange thing is that you've been so fucked over by cheaters who didn't give a crap about you that when your new SO said he wanted to fool around, even though you hated the idea, you decided to say yes.

I'm sure I get less sex, even cheating, than you do in your poly-fuck situation. Has he brought home an STD? It's a big concern for you in my relationship, so I'm wondering how you rationalize it in your situation.

[auroraionaa]

From what I have read it seems the longer you are married the less you have sex.

[DLGBLG]

[Billjw67]

20 years of marriage and she treats me like I have the plague. I don't drink smoke or come home late. I hand over my paychecks and ask for little in return. Our marriage is great except for the lack of sex. My fantasy is to meet a girl on here and hook up for sex. Of course fantasies rarely come true.

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by 3210launch

The strange thing is that you've been so fucked over by cheaters who didn't give a crap about you that when your new SO said he wanted to fool around, even though you hated the idea, you decided to say yes.

I'm sure I get less sex, even cheating, than you do in your poly-fuck situation. Has he brought home an STD? It's a big concern for you in my relationship, so I'm wondering how you rationalize it in your situation.

You are seriously stupid. You either cant read my posts or delight in twisting my words around so I am going to make this as simple as possible for you.

I have never been cheated on.

I hated the idea orginally because of societies (& my families) view on nonmono married couples. Since then I have learned that as long as we are both happy and no one is getting hurt it doesnt matter what people think. Includin my family.

Yes sleeping with other people puts us at risk for STD's even though we are very strict about testing,condoms, and proof of testing from others. However, the difference here is that we both KNOW the chance is there. You catch something and bring it home your wife has no idea where she was even at risk and now might be stuck with a life long STD on top of finding out you lied and cheated "to spare her feelings".

Further more, your the liar and cheater. So stop calling my marraige a poly fuck. We are polyamorous, google it asshole. We dont just go out and fuck people in mass origies, and again, even if we did at least both parties are aware its happening.

[stronghold]

Originally Posted by Billjw67

20 years of marriage and she treats me like I have the plague. I don't drink smoke or come home late. I hand over my paychecks and ask for little in return. Our marriage is great except for the lack of sex. My fantasy is to meet a girl on here and hook up for sex. Of course fantasies rarely come true.

Yuuuup,...all the same here too.

[stronghold]

Originally Posted by auroraionaa

From what I have read it seems the longer you are married the less you have sex.

Not all the time. Many couples have a great sex life.

[naughtysnap]

Originally Posted by 3210launch

I think that shows why you don't understand the situation with my wife and I. She's nota bigger pervert than I am. She's not one at all. You can't imagine denying your husband sex for almost a decade. Can you imagine how you'd feel if he refused sex with you for that long?

Some things, once said, can't be taken back. If your husband told you that every time he saw your mom it gave him a hard on named Iron Man Jr., and that he wasn't sure how long he could hold out, how would you feel? Now think: After you tell him no-can-do, and you have a knock-down-drag-out, and your husband threatens divorce, you finally win and he says he won't hit on her. Are you going to feel comfortable letting him stop by her house to fix the sink? Or are you always going to have a new wedge of distrust?

I've told my wife, I've fought with her, I've turned cold to her, I've hounded her, I've begged her. I now regret almost all of it, because I know it's not her fault. I didn't realize that before. I never threatened divorce or told her I'd cheat on her, and I'm glad that I didn't.

By the way, the closest I got to divorce was when I turned cold. I thought if she was rejecting me, then I would reject her. That's worse than being angry. She felt the rejection and started to shut down to me, and the whole thing was spiraling down. The hard lesson for me to learn was how to be affectionate, and flirty, but not to push toward sex.

have you sought counseling? Have you openly discussed her thoughts on sex? Why she isn't interested, what would interest her? Tell her that its a part of your life that is lacking and that you are tied up in knots about it?

Show her some pics. Let her "catch" you whacking. leave a sexy story up on the computer and let her find it. Maybe her mind is just so wrapped up in house, kids, job, daily life that she doesn't take time to think about sex.

I am not walking in your shoes and I do feel bad that anyone would feel so neglected. But lying and cheating only creates more of a void than was there originally. Are you having sex with MULTIPLE partners or have you found one that is exclusive? Do you allow yourself to think of yourself married to someone else?
I am not a supporter of divorce especially when children are involved and people have been together for decades BUT if you have tried all these things why be so miserable!?!

[naughtysnap]

Quick background so you all realize I have some experience as the "wife".
We married young (19), moved away from our family (military) he worked LONG hours and when he was home did NOT make time for the kids or I. I was MISERABLE. I told him repeatedly that I was miserable, he didn't care(young and stupid we both were). I had an affair.
Years later we were STILL working through my one night affair...2 kids. ROUGH. HE had an affair to "get even". Promised me it wouldn't happen again, he just needed that to feel better about himself. 3rd child came. 3 years later ....3 more affairs. AGAIN he promised it was over, we went to counseling(we realized we weren't the typical married couple, we are perverts started talking about swinging, openly talked about sex and fantasies that we wanted to explore, we were better...or so I thought but obviously there was more BECAUSE 6 years later....19 more affairs AND a best friend(female) that I had known nothing about. He said this best friend changed him, he wanted to be a better husband he wanted to be honest, he didn't want to cheat....
NOW. I couldn't handle the best friend because to me she was getting part of him that I had always wanted...she was getting the honesty, the talking, the bonding that I craved for all those years. He was sooooo busy getting to know all those other women that he didn't have a clue about the woman who laid next to him every night. We have come a LONG way, we talk openly about our desires, he encourages me to explore my bisexuality. He has admitted to being bisexual as well. We share pics, stories, thoughts, desires. We haven't gotten to the point where we are comfortable with swinging or a polyamorous relationship. BUT we are getting out there and meeting people, talking to each other about those people and working through my trust issues. He is doing everything he can to earn my trust back. BUT man does he get frustrated. I understand his frustration and he understands my mistrust.
Its not easy but I think eventually it will be worth it.

[3210launch]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

I have never been cheated on.

My mistake. I thought your post about your ex-bf sleeping with your mom was him cheating.

I'm going to let you have the last word on this.

Originally Posted by naughtysnap

have you sought counseling? Have you openly discussed her thoughts on sex? Why she isn't interested, what would interest her? Tell her that its a part of your life that is lacking and that you are tied up in knots about it?

Show her some pics. Let her "catch" you whacking. leave a sexy story up on the computer and let her find it. Maybe her mind is just so wrapped up in house, kids, job, daily life that she doesn't take time to think about sex.

I am not walking in your shoes and I do feel bad that anyone would feel so neglected. But lying and cheating only creates more of a void than was there originally. Are you having sex with MULTIPLE partners or have you found one that is exclusive? Do you allow yourself to think of yourself married to someone else?
I am not a supporter of divorce especially when children are involved and people have been together for decades BUT if you have tried all these things why be so miserable!?!

I've tried all of the above. (Well, she has walked in on me "porning" as she calls it; it wasn't intentional.) I'm not neglected or miserable. My wife just isn't interested in sex. I love her, she loves me, and I don't have any desire for a divorce.

[naughtysnap]

by saying that someone can have the last word...aren't you kind of having the last word? haha

[Amas-Veritas]

Originally Posted by naughtysnap

by saying that someone can have the last word...aren't you kind of having the last word? haha

Yeah pretty much but I am so taking it because he at least has stopped making it sound like I am some common street walking whore who only agreed to a "poly fuck" relationship because my husband threatened to divorce me.

Which for those reading is NOT what happened.

About your situation Naughty, I am so sorry you guys have had to go through all that.

[naughtysnap]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

Yeah pretty much but I am so taking it because he at least has stopped making it sound like I am some common street walking whore who only agreed to a "poly fuck" relationship because my husband threatened to divorce me.

Which for those reading is NOT what happened.

About your situation Naughty, I am so sorry you guys have had to go through all that.

like i said we were young and stupid. We both grew up watching our parents NOT talk and being young and stupid we didn't realize that a happy married couple is actually supposed TALK... :P we just take it day by day.

[regulardude89]

New here, nice to meet everyone.

I have been married for 10yrs. When we have sex, its great however its only about 1-2 times a month. I love her and she loves me, we have a great relationship outside of the lack of sex. Personally I could fuck everyday but she simply doesn't have that kind of drive. What can I do? I am not going to step out on her, not yet anyway. So I jerk off 1-2 times a day, it works for now.

[3210launch]

Welcome to XNXX. I think this thread is exhausted.

[Marvin65]

If I was getting enough I wouldn't be on here.

[Old Tool]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

All of you cheaters should be ashamed of yourselves. You have the nerve to come on here and talk about how your wife doesnt give you sex any more like it her fault you cheat. Women can almost always feel it when her man is cheating. So maybe knowing you cant be faithful has something to do with her not giving it up. That beaing said, no woman who is not giving it up should expect her man to want to stay faithful. However wanting something and getting it are 2 totally different ballgames.

If your wife (the person you swore to be faitful to) stops having an interest in sexual matters and sex is a big enough deal for you that you would cheat, then just get a divorce. Or at the very least tell her you plan to go else where to have your needs met. Lying to someone that you claim to love is just pathetic. Either be together or dont, but dont lie, decieve, or cheat on someone who is none the wiser and thinks that all the love and honesty is still present in her marraige.

I wonder what you would say to couples in Europe, especially France and Italy, where it is common to have a discreet affair (or two) during the course of a marriage. Men and women both engage in this behavior. It is expected that the partner who steps out will have the decency not to be honest about it. It is considered rude to rub you partners face in it. It is also expected that you will have manners enough not to fall in love with the person you're cheating with so that the original family unit stays intact.

I get the feeling that you believe yourself to be a very open-minded person (based on how you speak about your own relationship choices), but I wonder if you realize how very judgmental you sound when you post the sort of admonition I've highlighted.

[Mr.K Skins]

Originally Posted by Amas-Veritas

Yes sleeping with other people puts us at risk for STD's even though we are very strict about testing,condoms, and proof of testing from others. However, the difference here is that we both KNOW the chance is there. You catch something and bring it home your wife has no idea where she was even at risk and now might be stuck with a life long STD on top of finding out you lied and cheated "to spare her feelings".

The only point I wanted to add was that, technically, if she isn't giving him any then there isn't much chance of him giving her an STD.

[The_Phantom]

Originally Posted by stronghold

Ive been married for 16 years, and NO,..I definitely don't get it as much. Right now, it's been 2mths since we've had sex. The longest drought is 4mths.

And yeah, I think Ive tried everything imaginable. My ONLY outlet is to jack-off to porn.

Now to maybe take your question to another level,..ask if any married men have had to resort to having affairs to release the tension and to feel wanted again.

(Looks around and slowly raises hand)

[3210launch]

Man, you'd have been better off admitting you were a cannibal.

[Mr.K Skins]

Originally Posted by 3210launch

Man, you'd have been better off admitting you were a cannibal.

Have you seen the vore stuff? They're a fetish for that.

[notdescriptive]

Originally Posted by notdescriptive

At one point in our marriage it seemed as if she had little desire for me. Sex was 100% at my initiative. While always ... compliant ... there was little satisfaction on my part. I just told her that I was not going to beg for sex or even ask for sex any longer.

That conversation brought about a sea change in her attitude.

Wow. I've quoted myself!

I think this method worked because it gave the wife 100% ownership of this very important decision. Threw the whole discussion into her lap for her to decide on her own. No more reacting to the desires of the husband. No more discussion even, the talking is over, everything has been said. It was now a simple question of what she wanted, totally 100% her call.

We all know that when you make a decision, and implement your decision, you must deal with the consequences.

[3210launch]

You're totally right about that. Great advice.

[DLGBLG]

Originally Posted by Mr.K Skins

Have you seen the vore stuff? They're a fetish for that.

That is a little scary lol.

Although I guess I shouldn't be surprised, I think there is a fetish for just about anything you can imagine.

[luvsloppy3rds]

I'm getting as much from my wife as our lives allow. Is it as much as when first married? No. But we are 16 years older. There are spurts (pardon the pun) where we will increase frequency, and there are times (when one of us is not feeling well) where we will let it slide. It balances out.

[Mr.K Skins]

Originally Posted by DLGBLG

That is a little scary lol.

Although I guess I shouldn't be surprised, I think there is a fetish for just about anything you can imagine.

Yeah there was a girl who used to post quite a bit on here who was huge into being a meat girl. And it kinda fit into a novel I'm writing so I was doing some research. Otherwise I would have never known it existed.

[Ovid58]

Originally Posted by Billjw67

20 years of marriage and she treats me like I have the plague. I don't drink smoke or come home late. I hand over my paychecks and ask for little in return. Our marriage is great except for the lack of sex. My fantasy is to meet a girl on here and hook up for sex. Of course fantasies rarely come true.

So, we seem to be, both of us, in the same situation - being married for over twenty years...

The only problem is the fact that you complain about your sex life with your wife...

Now, as an "old runner" that I am, I consider it legitimate to ask you: If you haven't had sex, why have you been married with this woman for so many years?!?

Because, the lack of sexual activity gives you both certain states of mind that aren't a benefit for neither of you!

I really don't care what others say, but, while still young, it is even good, from time to time, to go out and cheat, but in a manner that does not affect your members of the family!...

And the STD's - let's get realistic! You don't have to go out with a hooker! There still are (I hope on that side of the ocean too), enough respectable ladies to have sex with, without even wearing a condom (I've always, after marriage, worn one, just to be 200% safe!!!)...

The whole matter depends of how you behave at home, and how you take care not to embarass your family with your deeds! THAT is, from my point of view, the MOST important thing!...

[3210launch]

Originally Posted by Mr.K Skins

Yeah there was a girl who used to post quite a bit on here who was huge into being a meat girl. And it kinda fit into a novel I'm writing so I was doing some research. Otherwise I would have never known it existed.

I sometimes wonder what happened to her, but mostly I don't want to think about it.

[Mr.K Skins]

Originally Posted by 3210launch

I sometimes wonder what happened to her, but mostly I don't want to think about it.

She posted in her blog/true stories thread that her bf was making her go to therapy because he was worried about how far they were going with the vore thing and her therapist was making her quit these "fetish" sites. She hasn't been back since. I hope she's doing well.

[exib]

I dunno. We still do stuff, but she won't let me do facials anymore. I cum too much. Last time I came on her face I blasted her with 14 shots of cum. I got it everywhere, all over her face, tits and hair. She totally freaked out.

We do a lot more anal stuff though. And I got her to do ATM with my fingers.

She also orgasms quite easily so that makes things a lot easier.

[rajoo888]

This grouse is with every married guy

[chosuke]

Originally Posted by thinskin

Maybe what she really wants is you to drag her upstairs, push her head in the pillow and pump her arse so she cannot walk for a week. She just does not know how to word it.

Thinskin

If it backfires you'll be accused of rape.

[woodyk39]

I'm not. We have good sex when we have it (twice a week) but it really isn't satisfying to me. Otherwise relationship is great. Trying to figure out options to deal with this. Don't want to do anything dramatic, but in the market for some extra-curricular activity if the opportunity arises.

[Stanley R. Johnson]

married 19 years and no there's never enough but i seem to have very pleasurable solo action and much more intense orgasms by myself.

[smtb]

I am married for 3 months. I am disappointed about marrying. My sex life is dying. My wife is like a nun. She doesn't wanna have sex most of time. And she always says she is tired or sleepy.

If it goes on like this, I'm sorry about that but i will cheat her. Because she knows my libido and she doesn't do anything.

[Rothko]

Originally Posted by smtb

I am married for 3 months. I am disappointed about marrying. My sex life is dying. My wife is like a nun. She doesn't wanna have sex most of time. And she always says she is tired or sleepy.

If it goes on like this, I'm sorry about that but i will cheat her. Because she knows my libido and she doesn't do anything.

Is there a chance she could be preggers?

[hugemanparts]

I think the whole dynamic of marriage is in question here, how can a woman, knowing men who don't get sex will not stay faithful, stop giving a man sex totally, and expect him to remain faithful. Don't misunderstand me, cheating sucks, but so does total disregard for the person you allegedly love, and their feelings, wants and desires. There's a joke "Woman who put Man in Doghouse, soon Find him in Cathouse" funny but true, Men NEED sex, just like Women NEED compliments, attention and love, if the needs are not being met, the woman would be a total freaking liar herself if she's not expecting to be cheated on. No woman who totally stops having sex with their husband can EVER tell me she is surprised/hurt/shocked, etc that her husband strays, SHE broke the Marriage...Period

[Pulp29]

Been with my wife 8 years been married 3 years. If we are on holiday abroad with no kids it everyday atleast once a day. Never the same routine.

Now back at home that's different. It's currently been 3weeks since we last had crap sex and even longer maybe 2 months since we had good sex. Very hard to get her in the mood, even harder to get her off her back. We have 2 kids but unless the marriage is open for me to get sexual pleasure outside or she wakes up I feel devorce is only around the corner. We argued just today about the lack of sex after she told me to stop masturbating

[Rothko]

Originally Posted by Pulp29

I feel devorce is only around the corner. We argued just today about the lack of sex after she told me to stop masturbating

Lets get this straight. She told you stop masturbating..what like in front of her, in the bed when she was trying to sleep or just to stop masturbating full stop?

[Pulp29]

In bed with her there as she won't give me the time alone in bed. I work long hours so tend to go to bed early but she insists on coming to bed with me even when I tell her what I was going to do. Apart from getting up in the middle of the night and have a quickie in the bathroom there is no other time where I can relax and enjoy myself. I normally start work at 0400 finish about 1900 plus an hour commute at each end. I have now started to take pills to reduce my sex drive

[tingletangel]

I agree with you Amas 100%.
the hubby and I have great sex. He wants more..he's male but we keep things open and honest. We aren't in an open marriage but like to swap. Sex is amazing and more so when you are honest with your partner so you can enjoy it with out worries.

[Pulp29]

There is no way she will swap, open marriage, or invite anyone else in. She would rather just cut her loses and divorce

[sfpxxx]

No sex from her in 5 years. WTH? I love her but not sure what to do. And I'm goddam horny all the time.

[Ahenry]

Well, I am one of those cheaters who was faithful for 32 years even thought my wife fucked an old friend on our anniversary about 16 years ago while i was on military maneuvers. In fact she called me when she finished, I found out through some letters he had been sending her and when confronted she denied even though I had the letters talking about it. So now that we have gone 3+ years without i have found someone who is willing. Like many my wife and I are like strangers in bed, but still enjoy each others company outside the bed.

[tingletangel]

Originally Posted by Mr.K Skins

She posted in her blog/true stories thread that her bf was making her go to therapy because he was worried about how far they were going with the vore thing and her therapist was making her quit these "fetish" sites. She hasn't been back since. I hope she's doing well.

What's sad I never saw you even answer the question that was posted rather defended cheating. Its cheating even if you are not getting any from tour partner. While I am biased right now you don't go with out. The actions of everyday life may lead to why your turned down and the actions by yoursel