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#51 |
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Newcumer
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: California
Posts: 4
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Great story Jade.
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#52 |
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Legendary Lover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Rhode Island
Age: 23
Posts: 2,114
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Great Story Jade, I really Do like it alot. I would welcome a sequel, starting with the aftermath of what happened.
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My Thread-->http://forum.xnxx.com/showthread.php?t=97504 My Poetry Thread-->http://forum.xnxx.com/showthread.php?t=146643 XNXX G.A.M.E.R. Great American Master of Erotic Repertoire |
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#53 |
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Porno Junky
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 432
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good read, need a bit more detail in the sex
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#54 |
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Porno Junky
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Sin City itself, Las Vegas
Age: 35
Posts: 289
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I liked the story and the character development was great. I'll agree that most of the issues I can see are the same ones I'm getting feedback on with the story I've been writing. I get notes about grammar most often, I look forward to reading stories focused on the characters developing. Keep up the good work and keep writing and everything is likely to improve.
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#55 |
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Amateur
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Talihina, Ok.
Age: 56
Posts: 61
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I found this story to be a good story and it seemed to me to be well written.
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#56 |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: South Carolina
Age: 21
Posts: 1,252
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Everyone should check out her other stories. They are GREAT.
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Feel free to add gifs to my gif thread http://forum.xnxx.com/showthread.php?t=270386 I enjoy reading stories.
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#57 |
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Porno Junky
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I love Jades stories. They always excite and get me so damn hard. Everyone should read them
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#58 | |
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Porn Star
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Aneheim, CA
Posts: 1,728
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Quote:
This critique is not warranted on a story which we do not KNOW is ended. If there is more of the story to be written then the build up could be very much a NEEDED part of that story. If the story ends here then it still allowed a depth of connection to the situation which made it more alive than if it were omitted or shortened. BTW - The only time (I HOPE) where I comment on grammar is when it has so severely impacted the story that I have trouble reading it. This story was NOT impacted and I would have to re-read it with that in mind to actually find examples from which to pick nits. This story left me with a feeling that it has not been finished; I hope that I am correct.
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Recommended Writers
Yes it is a link - go ahead and click it Modern Mage The complete story shown in the forums To Dream of Dragons: Saga of Snow Cat Last edited by darthel0101; 08-20-2012 at 09:56 AM. |
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#59 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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***
Last edited by smcaaphd; 08-24-2012 at 07:46 PM. |
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#60 |
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Sex Lover
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Georgia
Posts: 154
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Great Story!!!! Super Hot!!!! I give you a 100.
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#61 |
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Lost in Translation
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Canada.
Posts: 3,579
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Oh my... Thank you all for so much wonderful feedback.
I am going to have to write another chapter for this... It is almost like it is a necessity! I do apologize that my English is not as good as some would expect from a person posting stories. I have also noticed the many kind remarks concerning the necessity of letting some things go by. Thank you all for your support and kindness, the suggestions, and even the more critical comments.
__________________
Common Sense should be considered a Super Power, because it is not common at all. ![]() Naite kurasu mo issho, waratte kurasu mo issho. (It is the same life, whether we spend it crying or laughing) All my story submissions can be found at: http://stories.xnxx.com/profile523497/ CAW#13
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#62 |
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Porno Junky
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 447
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Hot as hell! Can you be my step-mom? Lol i sent you a pm too
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#63 |
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Banned!
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 12
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like this
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#64 |
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Sex Lover
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Age: 37
Posts: 218
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I liked this; even though I'm not into B&D, I am into mother/son stories. I wouldn't worry about your spelling and grammar, as long as it doesn't get in the way of the narrative flow. If you are concerned, however, you could always write and edit in Word (or similar) with the language set on US English — it should pick up most "mistakes" — then copy and paste here.
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Nobody snuggles with Max Power! You strap yourself in and feel the G's! Verified XNXX Male
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