When the Voyeur Decides to Play. CAW #11 Entry

[Hornycountryboy]

Thank you for taking the time to read my CAW 11 entry. I also hope you take the time to read all entries, and vote for the one you enjoyed the most. If you enjoyed mine please remember it when you go to vote. Thanks and enjoy the story.


My night started like any other night. I got up and put on my uniform, and put on my belt, where I added all the accessories, like my handcuffs, flashlight, my gun, and many others. I still feel a bit of pride when I put my badge on my front shirt.

Although I wasn't by many peoples definition of a real police officer, I did have to go to police academy, where they taught me everything I needed to know about how to handle a possible dangerous situation, to how to preform first aid or CPR if need be. I had the ability to arrest people, but I would have to hold them in our tiny office cell till city officers came and picked them up.

However that never happens. Nothing ever happens on this side of the city. It almost makes me wonder why the people wanted patrol men to walk the streets while they slept. I guess it was just a sense of security, but they didn't want security guards, that really weren't trained, if something actually were to happen.

There is eight of us total, but four of us that walked a different section a night. We did twelve hour shifts, and worked every other weekend. Basically if I worked Monday and Tuesday, I would have Wednesday, and Thursday off, then work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. On the nights I had off the other four officers would work. Although we felt like glorified security guards, we still felt good about what we did, and knowing that we passed the academy, we could always apply to a police station.

On this night though, it started like every other night, but towards the end of my shift something great happened. Now I work from 7PM till 7AM, and it was about 4:30AM when I saw her. She was walking away from me, and was approximately fifty yards away. Now this community, doesn't have a curfew, so people who live here can come and go as they please, but something told me to follow her. I maintained my distance from her, I couldn't tell but she seemed nervous as she looked all around her, but she never noticed me. She stopped in front of some apartment buildings that were empty do to some remodeling.

This is where a saw the second person come out between the buildings, this person looked to be a short man, but from my distance I really couldn't tell height. They saw each other and moved quickly to each other, as I watched them begin to make out with each other, I thought it was a couple of love birds who haven't seen one another in some time.

That's when I watched the girl I was following, drop to her knees and pull out the guys cock out of his pants. I admit I was very envious when I saw the length of this man. He had to have been about ten to twelve inches long. She began to suck his tip and licked up and down his shaft, she did this for a minute or two before standing back up, turned around and hiked up her skirt to reveal her bare ass, as the guy lined up his cock to her, I realized that they were exhibitionist. People who loved the thrill of having sex in public. They were in luck because I love to watch.

They picked a good spot that they believed they wouldn't get caught, because her moans got very loud, so loud that I thought she was right next to me. Her screams of pleasure were intoxicating, and it had me pulling out my own cock to jerk off to the sight that was before me. When I heard her say to the guy to fuck her faster she was about cum I couldn't hold back any longer and blasted my load all over the pavement. I had my eyes closed while I came down from my high and when I opened them, the girl was back on her knees licking his shaft clean from her juices. He was still pretty hard when they tucked it back into his pants, then they disappeared between the buildings.

I cleaned myself off, then finished my rounds. Over the next few weeks I couldn't get the image of them out of my head. Questions kept popping into my mind like, was that their first time in public? Will they do it again? Will I be lucky enough to watch again? Will I be bold enough to get closer to see what they look like?

A few my questions did get answered, just not all at once. I did catch them in the act around the same time nearly a month later. This time she wasn't as loud in her moans, but still hot as hell watching, and jerking off to them. Then the next time was about two weeks later and she was loud, like the first time I seen them.

One thing I did know though was, that they enjoyed their sexual fun on the nights I worked. I asked Dave the guy who worked my section on the nights I had off, if he had seen anyone in that area. He told me he doesn't see anyone at all, though out the night.

So when I saw them again, instead of standing there watching, I decided I better end it, before they either get hurt, or someone else catches them and calls us to arrest them. Sense I didn't want them to have a record for doing something they enjoy, not to mention if I were to get caught jerking off to them and losing my job. As much as I hated to do it, I walked right behind the guy as he was enjoying his blow job and tapped him on the shoulder.

He jumped sky high, I couldn't blame him, getting caught in the act would scare the shit out of me too, but when he turned around it was I that was shocked. Here I was expecting to see a man and a woman who enjoys the thrill of the possibility of being caught, but instead I was looking at not one but two teenage girls.

Yeah I said it two teenage girls, count them ONE, TWO teenage girls. They couldn't be older than fifteen. I couldn't believe it. Their faces told the tale, that they were scared to death not turned on by the fact that they were caught. Then the sudden thought that I was jerking off to young teenage girls almost made me throw up. I never looked at girls that way, unless they were around my age, and I thought they were in their twenties.

"What are you girls doing out at this time of day?" I ask them letting them believe I didn't know what they were doing.

"We... um... we... we were just... um... we were just on our way home." Said the one that was wearing a strap on, with the fake cock that I was so envious of. She must have forgotten that she had it on.

"What's your name?"

"Emily."

"Well Emily, do you always walk home with a long fake cock sticking out of your pants? And what's your name?" I asked looking at the other girl who still had spit dribbling down her chin.

"My name is Kelly." She said as she wiped her chin.

"Look girls I am not stupid, I know what you two were doing, what I don't know is why you are doing it outside. So why don't your girls come with me and we will talk about to do with you."

Kelly, and Emily looked at each other and followed me down the road a bit to a bench where I told them to sit.

"Emily I am sorry but can you take that off its really odd looking at you with a fake cock out of your pants."

She looked over at her friend, then stood up, took off her pants, then stepped out of the strap on. As she got back into her pants I couldn't help but look at the neatly trimmed hair above her pussy lips, that glistened in the street light above us. Emily sat back down and tucked the dildo between her, and Kelly.

"Thank you, now how old are you two?"

"Fourteen." They both said in unison.

"You girls are fourteen!? What in high heavens are you two out in the wide open having sex, and not in a bedroom somewhere, I don't know like one of your homes?"

They looked at each other and began to talk quietly to each other, but were arguing as well.

"Girls? You mind telling me why I found you out here?"

"Look." Kelly started. "We have been friends for as far back as we can remember, and a few months ago we started to experiment with each other, ever since I found my sisters strap on, but we were caught by my parents a week later. Of course they flipped out then told Emily's parents. They then said we couldn't hang out anymore. So we still wanted to experiment, and have some fun, so one day at school about a month ago I heard that some apartment buildings were being remodeled, and I thought since no one will be in this area we can play and we wouldn't be seen since we can't do anything at our houses. We were fine up until tonight."

I thought about what she had just told me. I could understand the need to experiment, and discover ones sexual appetite, I remember being a teen, but I believe I was at least sixteen when I started fooling around.

"Look girls, I know you two have to be embarrassed right now, and rightfully so. I can understand what you two are doing, but I have to tell you what you are doing in dangerous. What if a guy came up to you with a gun?"

"Um you have a gun." Emily pointed out.

"You know what I meant. Look I am not going to call your parents, even though I should, but you two need to find a safer place that is indoors, because the next time I find you two out here doing that, I will call them. Do you girls understand?" They both nodded at me. "Good now go home girls."

I watched them go their separate ways back to their homes, and I don't know why but I watched Kelly and decided to click a picture of her as she walked away from me.

When I got home I kept beating myself up on the fact that those girls were fourteen, and that I jerked off to them. I guess that is why I really didn't want to get their parents involved, I could just imagine how that conversation would have went.

"Hi yes parents of these really hot teenage girls, well I caught them fucking each other, oh but don't worry I just whipped out my cock and jerked off while they did it."

Then thoughts of reason started to run though my head. I mean I thought they were in their twenties from the distance I was at, I didn't know they were too young. I did nothing wrong. I guess it was just the thought after knowing that made me sick to my stomach.

I then started undressing myself and put on a pair of faded sleep pants on, then I went into the kitchen to pre heat the oven. Only sad part of working twelve hour nights is when its time to eat after you get home is you want supper. So I took out a frozen pizza and placed it on the counter and waited for the oven to heat up.

I went back to the living room and sat in my chair, turned on the morning show. Then I picked up my cell phone and when I flipped it open there was the picture I took of Kelly as she was walking away from me. I still don't know what prompted to take such a picture, but my mind started to drift to that first night I saw them, then the sight of Emily's pussy as she took off the strap on and put her pants on. Her wetness glistening off the lights from the street, before I knew it I had blown my load in my hand. I didn't even know I was jerking off. What was wrong with me? I now knew these girls were underage and I was still imagined them as if they weren't. I then got up and washed my hands, by the time I had them dried, the oven beeped to let me know it was preheated.

Over the next few weeks things seemed to go back to normal, there wasn't any sight of Emily and Kelly, and I seemed to have managed to stop thinking about them.

That was until one morning when I got home. I had just started to oven and changed into my pajama pants, when I heard a knock on my door. Since I don't get many visitors on the days I work since my friends all have jobs during the day, I was kind of surprised to be answering the door at 8:30 in the morning.

There they stood in the hall of my apartment, both Emily and Kelly dressed in clothes like normal teen girls these day wear. Kelly's hair pulled in a tight french braid, and Emily's just pulled in a pony tail. In the better day light I was able to see that they both had beautiful blue eyes, but Emily's were very bright, kind of hard stare into them.

"What can I do for you girls?" Was the only thing I could muster up to say.

They looked at each other as if they were unsure of what they wanted to say, or who was going to say it. It was Emily who finally broke the silence.

"We tried." Is all she said.

"You tried what?" I responded.

"We tried to find some place where we can be together."

"And how is this my problem?"

They looked at each other again then they both asked if they could come inside. I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed. As they sat down on my sofa, I couldn't help myself in looking them up and down, be mesmerized in their beauty. Kelly was slightly taller than Emily and with her dark hair in the braid I could notice some blonde highlights though out it. Her blue eyes bounced out at you, because of her dark hair. With her wearing a tight tee shirt it showed off her perky breast, and flat stomach.

Emily had lighter hair color, and as with Kelly with her hair pulled tight in her pony tail showed off the same kind of blonde highlights. Her eyes were something else, like I said you couldn't help but stare deeply into them. She had a cute little dimple in her left cheek that showed as she sat the nervously. Her shirt wasn't as tight as Kelly's but it did show off her slightly smaller breast. My eyes looked at her bare legs then up to her short jean shorts. I began to think back when I saw her lovely trimmed mound just a few weeks ago.

"Well girls, first of all how did you find where I lived?" I ask trying to relieve some tension in the room.

"We followed you after you got out of work." Kelly answered.

" I have been home for over an hour, what took you so long to knock on my door?"

"Well we debated weather or not to even stay, but we really wanted to know something." Kelly again answered.

I knew I was going to regret it but I was very curious, so I asked, "and what is it that you would like to know?"

Again they looked at each other, both of them motioning the other to say it with their eyes, then finally Emily rolled her eyes and spoke. "We were wondering if we can have sex here?"

I swear if I was drinking something I would have spat it out all over the place. To say I was shocked would have been an understatement. I had no idea how to respond to that.

"Okay, um well girls I don't know if that's a good idea. I mean I don't even know if you two know my name."

"Well what is your name?" Kelly asked.

"Mark, my name is Mark, and I still don't think it would be a good idea, what would happen if we get caught?"

They both snickered. "We weren't saying we should have sex with you, although Emily can't stop talking about how much it turned her on being half naked in front of you."

"KELLY!!!" Emily screamed in embarrassment, then buried her face into her hands. I couldn't help but chuckle, which didn't make matters any better.

"What's wrong Emily? Its not like he didn't see you half naked, you have a hot and sexy body, if you didn't we wouldn't be trying to fuck each other so much. You also keep say how much you want to see his cock too."

I was beginning to see that Kelly was starting to relax, but I also believed it was at her friends expense by embarrassing her. Not only that, but I was uncomfortable with the situation I was in, however I hadn't a clue how to get out of it. Also at that moment I realized I was beginning to get turned on by the conversation, and like a lot of guys I began to think with my dick, and not with my brain.

"So you girls want to fuck each other here while I watch, and jerk off, is that it?"

The look of shock that no hit Kelly was priceless, and Emily's red face looked up from her hands with the same surprised look, like they couldn't believe I just said that. I actually couldn't believe it myself. Why would I say that? But what I did next was even worse, and that was I didn't recant what I just said.

The silence was torture, I kept waiting for them to get up and walk out, and I wouldn't blame them. Hell I should have ask them to leave, but they kept looking at each other then back at me, then Emily finally broke the silence.

"Well... we also been talking about... well... we were hoping that maybe... that maybe you... that maybe you would fuck us too."

Now it was my turn to be surprised. How does one respond to something like that? I have never been in a situation where I had the opportunity to be in a threesome. The thought surely had me aroused, but they are half my age, and I could see my life crumble around me, as I would lose my job after I get arrested, then I would go to prison. Then I thought these girls were dying to be with each other so bad, that they snuck out of their homes to have sex in the open. Then they followed me home to see if I would fuck them, they would keep it secret.

I lost all sense of reason and stood up, and motion for them to stand also. I took a step towards them and put my arms around them and grabbed their asses. They looked at each other and smiled, as I leaned down to kiss first Kelly full on the lips, then Emily, but with her I lingered and slipped my tongue into her mouth to play with her tongue. I broke the kiss and pulled them closer to me and said, "why don't we go to my bedroom."

I walked them down the hall, and into my bedroom, where my queen sized bed was. As we were all finally inside I shut the door, and pulled Kelly to me. I kissed her again, and as our tongues met I slid my hand down her shorts to find that she wasn't wearing any panties, and that she was completely shaved. As I moved my hand further down I felt her wetness, and moved my middle finger in between her folds and began to rub her clit. She moaned into my mouth her approval. I felt Emily drop to her knees and grab the waistband of my pajama pants. I had to stop her as I broke the kiss I had with Kelly.

"Girls not to disappoint you, but I am nowhere near as long as that strap on you girls have."

"Good, because that thing really hurts, but its the only thing we have that we were able to practice with." Kelly said, as she moved onto her knees to join Emily.

Both of them grabbed the waistband, and slowly pulled it down releasing my hard cock in front of their faces. They both smiled up at me, then at the same time stuck out their tongues and began to lick me like they were sharing a Popsicle. They would wrap their lips over my shaft, and work their way up to the head, where they would lick the sensitive underside of my cock head. Then they would release it and begin to make out with each other, before starting the whole process over again.

I will say this their fake cock sure did allow them to practice how to suck a real one, because this was by far the best blow job I ever had. Then again I never been sucked off by two sexy girls before, but if they continued, I wouldn't last very long, so I lifted them both up, kissed them both, then pulling their shirts off.

There they stood in only their shorts and bra, I pulled them to me and turned them around so their backs were against my chest. I moved both of my hands over each one of their bodies. I watch their expressions as my hands played with their breast though their bras, then down each of their bellies, as I slid my hands into their shorts. Now I already knew Kelly wasn't wearing any panties, but Emily was a more modest, and was wearing some cotton panties. I didn't mind as my hand inched further down and I felt the wetness though her panties. Wow these girls were both extremely wet.

I pushed a finger inside Kelly, as I played with Emily's clit though her panties. I listened to them moan for a moment before taking my hands out and bringing my finger to my mouth, to taste them for the first time. I could never describe the taste of a girls pussy, but these girls were sweet tasting.

I walked them over to the bed, where I sat them down on the edge and went for Kelly's shorts first. As soon as her shorts were off I buried my tongue deep inside her. I swear she must have came right then as juices flowed from her and into my mouth, as she moaned extremely loud. I looked up to see that Emily had moved behind her friend. She had removed Kelly's bra and was playing with her nipples.

I stood back up and lined my cock to the entrance of her pussy. Kelly looked up to Emily, who had her beautiful eyes locked on my cock as I slowly inched my way into Kelly's tight hole. As soon as I was all the way in I began fucking her, slowly at first, then picking up steam as I went.

"Holy shit Em! His cock feels fucking amazing!" Kelly moaned out in between my thrust. I motioned Emily over to me. I pulled her to me, and as I fucked her friend, I undid her bra and let it fall to the ground. I then reached for her shorts and pushed them off of her, leaving her standing there in her blue cotton panties with a big wet spot in the crotch. I again played with her clit though her panties before hooking my fingers in the waist band, and pushing them down to the floor.

My lord Emily had the perfect body to me. Kelly's body was hot, and her pussy was hot, and tight, but Emily had the kind of body that I could just stare at for hours, and I would probably cum without ever touching her.

I pulled Emily to me and kissed her, then had her sit on the edge of the bed as I slowly pulled my cock out of Kelly. Emily without missing a beat grabs my cock with Kelly's juices all over it, and sticks it into her mouth, like she was thirsty my cock was only thing to drink in the world. She lapped her friends juices off of me, before looking up at me with those beautiful blue eyes of hers as if to beg me to fuck her now.

I gave her a wink, she smiled at me, a smile that brightened the room up, as she laid down and spread her legs for me. I stuck my finger in her for the first time and knew it was going to be a tight fit for my cock. I withdrew my finger, and replaced it with my cock. Emily's face told the story as my the head of my cock entered her. The painful expression in between her smile was enough to pull out, so I wouldn't hurt her anymore.

Emily must have sensed this, as she opened her eyes, and they locked onto mine as she said to me "Mark! Fuck me! I want you to fuck me hard!"

I didn't need anymore begging from her, and pushed hard into her. She screamed out, and reached up and grabbed my neck to pull me to her, and she stuck her tongue into my mouth. I could taste Kelly's juices lingering on her tongue. That's when I got an idea.

I have watched a lot of porn but always thought it was hot when one of the girls would sit on the other girls face, while she was being fucked. I looked at Kelly, and it was as if she read my mind, and was already near Emily's head. As soon as I able to pull away from Emily, Kelly sat her pussy right on Emily's mouth.

I reached down with my right hand to Emily's clit, and began to massage it with my thumb. I heard her moan into Kelly's pussy, as Kelly rubbed herself on her friends face. I then reached with my left hand to pinch Kelly's left nipple.

With everything that was happening in the room it seemed by some sort of miracle we all came at the same time. Kelly was shaking on top of Emily, and Emily's pussy became even tighter, then I felt her juices surround my cock. As soon as I felt that I knew I had to pull out, as I withdrew came hard and fast with my first shot hitting Emily's clit as I exited her. Kelly not missing a beat grabbed my cock and began jerking the rest of my seed over her friends belly.

I rolled over onto the bed as Kelly began licking my cum off Emily's belly, then getting off to kiss her friend, and share my cum with her. After they were done, we all moved and laid down on my pillows, with one on each side of me.

"Girls that was amazing! I really hope you two will not tell anyone about this, I will lose everything, but hope you girls enjoyed it enough where you would want to come back for more."

"Why would we say anything? Now we have a place where we can fuck each other, and a hot guy too!" Emily said giggling, as they both kissed me on the cheek, I felt myself drift off to sleep.

[ELaken-Palmer]

The hottest story I have read in this challenge. It will be sure to give the others a run for their money (if money were involved). A good use of the photo theme too. I enjoyed this story a whole lot.

[snowleopard3200]

Wonderful story; it is one of the best yet. This one I have to place among the top three I will chose from when the time comes to cast a final vote for one of them.

Wonderful work. This CAW is turning out some of the best stories yet.

[Hornycountryboy]

Originally Posted by ELaken-Palmer

The hottest story I have read in this challenge. It will be sure to give the others a run for their money (if money were involved). A good use of the photo theme too. I enjoyed this story a whole lot.

Thanks it makes me feel like I did a better job with this story than the last CAW with comments like that. I still like my last one, but I know there was so much I could have added to it, and I am still tinkering with it to repost as a revised.

Thank you again for such a great comment!

Originally Posted by snowleopard3200

Wonderful story; it is one of the best yet. This one I have to place among the top three I will chose from when the time comes to cast a final vote for one of them.

Wonderful work. This CAW is turning out some of the best stories yet.

Thanks Snow! I haven't read any other entries yet, I am going to wait till the list is posted so I don't over look one. I can't wait to see what everyone else has come up with.

Thanks again for your great comment!

[Hornycountryboy]

Giving this an early bump, don't be afraid to let me know what you think of it, thanks!

[Cheltenham]

Good job, HCB.

I thought the story got off to a smooth start. Though, inserting details like when you work and what your outfit is equipped with doesn't seem necessary. It doesn't pertain to what happens later. You might have generalized that information a little bit because the main focus is supposed to be what 'he' saw while on patrol.

Mention the relevant details as you reach those parts of the story. You arrived home after a twelve hour shift, you put on a policeman's uniform along with a shoulder holster. Now you wouldn't be wearing a holster if you didn't carry a gun, right? The descriptions of Emily and Kelly do what they're intended to but I feel like you might have left it vague upon 'his' first time seeing them. After he formally went up to them, he'd notice more details and those are explained as he looks them over.

I don't know. That's just my opinion.

Good luck in the challenge.

[Daddycums]

Damn that's hot! This right here is exactly what I expect from this competition. A sizzling hot story that's dirty enough to be sexy but not obscene, with a couple of surprises that keep it original without being pretentious.

There were a few unpolished spots (wrong words, slightly incorrect grammar, and a brief jump to present tense), but not enough to ruin the story. This one's definitely going into my personal library.

[Hornycountryboy]

Originally Posted by Cheltenham

Good job, HCB.

I thought the story got off to a smooth start. Though, inserting details like when you work and what your outfit is equipped with doesn't seem necessary. It doesn't pertain to what happens later. You might have generalized that information a little bit because the main focus is supposed to be what 'he' saw while on patrol.

Mention the relevant details as you reach those parts of the story. You arrived home after a twelve hour shift, you put on a policeman's uniform along with a shoulder holster. Now you wouldn't be wearing a holster if you didn't carry a gun, right? The descriptions of Emily and Kelly do what they're intended to but I feel like you might have left it vague upon 'his' first time seeing them. After he formally went up to them, he'd notice more details and those are explained as he looks them over.

I don't know. That's just my opinion.

Good luck in the challenge.

Thanks! I will try to keep that in mind.

[Hornycountryboy]

Originally Posted by Daddycums

Damn that's hot! This right here is exactly what I expect from this competition. A sizzling hot story that's dirty enough to be sexy but not obscene, with a couple of surprises that keep it original without being pretentious.

There were a few unpolished spots (wrong words, slightly incorrect grammar, and a brief jump to present tense), but not enough to ruin the story. This one's definitely going into my personal library.

Thanks DC!

Now its my turn to say look into my eyes... your getting sleepy... damn this really doesn't work

[Daddycums]

Originally Posted by Hornycountryboy

Thanks DC!

Now its my turn to say look into my eyes... your getting sleepy... damn this really doesn't work

Actually, I am getting sleepy, but I think it has less to do with hypnosis and more to do with the fact that it's past my bedtime.

[Hornycountryboy]

Originally Posted by Daddycums

Actually, I am getting sleepy, but I think it has less to do with hypnosis and more to do with the fact that it's past my bedtime.

Yeah I hear that, but my problem is I work till midnight and can't just go to bed when I get home.

[minerva_x]

Oh my HCB....you had me blushing here on ALL cheeks with such a story....is there a part 2.....'til 100? LOL Well done!

[Hardrive]

Good creative story telling. You took your time and set up the situation and then added a twist that took the story in a different and unexpected direction. The situation you set up with the girls was unusual but credible. Those are important characteristics to me. It's not the same old story line with the same old predictable characters. Your characters behave like normal people that are caught up in an unusual situation.

To me, that's what makes a sex story hot. Whenever I read a sex story I ask myself, could this really happen? If the answer is yes, then that possibility makes the sex seem realistic and hot.

I found your story entertaining and Like all good stories it leaves you wanting more.

Good job and good luck. I'll be sure to leave you a positive vote.

HD

[Hornycountryboy]

Originally Posted by minerva_x

Oh my HCB....you had me blushing here on ALL cheeks with such a story....is there a part 2.....'til 100? LOL Well done!

Haha thanks sweetie! I have thought about another part but not too sure yet.

Originally Posted by Hardrive

Good creative story telling. You took your time and set up the situation and then added a twist that took the story in a different and unexpected direction. The situation you set up with the girls was unusual but credible. Those are important characteristics to me. It's not the same old story line with the same old predictable characters. Your characters behave like normal people that are caught up in an unusual situation.

To me, that's what makes a sex story hot. Whenever I read a sex story I ask myself, could this really happen? If the answer is yes, then that possibility makes the sex seem realistic and hot.

I found your story entertaining and Like all good stories it leaves you wanting more.

Good job and good luck. I'll be sure to leave you a positive vote.

HD

Thanks HD! Glad you enjoyed it, your story is next on my list to read, I have enjoyed your past stories and I am looking forward to it.

[BlackRonin]

Originally Posted by Cheltenham

Good job, HCB.

I thought the story got off to a smooth start. Though, inserting details like when you work and what your outfit is equipped with doesn't seem necessary. It doesn't pertain to what happens later. You might have generalized that information a little bit because the main focus is supposed to be what 'he' saw while on patrol.

To a point I agree with you, it does go on for a bit about matters that are ultimately trivial. Still, there's something to be said for a few of the devices employed here; the story could have started off with a blank expositive statement like, "I'm a cop," or some such, but bringing up the uniform in the second sentence instead communicates the same information in a less overt way, which is nice. And the degree of detail tells us something about the character: he spends a lot of time thinking about the various elements of his job. This is not to say that the same thing couldn't have been accomplished with, say, 2/3rds as many words as we have now, but even so, the opening paragraphs are not extraneous in themselves.

[SensualRobin]

Oh my HCB... that got me tingling in all the right ways. I caught some errors but nothing to detract from the overall story. Thanks for the good read.

[Hornycountryboy]

Originally Posted by BlackRonin

To a point I agree with you, it does go on for a bit about matters that are ultimately trivial. Still, there's something to be said for a few of the devices employed here; the story could have started off with a blank expositive statement like, "I'm a cop," or some such, but bringing up the uniform in the second sentence instead communicates the same information in a less overt way, which is nice. And the degree of detail tells us something about the character: he spends a lot of time thinking about the various elements of his job. This is not to say that the same thing couldn't have been accomplished with, say, 2/3rds as many words as we have now, but even so, the opening paragraphs are not extraneous in themselves.

Alright, alright. Details, tell me you guys didn't have an image of a guy putting on a uniform, then putting his accessories on his belt, then tell me you didn't vision a guy looking at himself in a mirror(I know I didn't say mirror in the story) while putting on his badge. I was just trying to paint a picture with my words of a guy who enjoyed what he did.

Now tell me BR how did you enjoy the story?

[Hornycountryboy]

Originally Posted by SensualRobin

Oh my HCB... that got me tingling in all the right ways. I caught some errors but nothing to detract from the overall story. Thanks for the good read.

Well I am glad I managed to make someone tingle in the right way thanks for the comment hun!

[ejls]

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[Hornycountryboy]

Originally Posted by ejls

bump

Thank you

[ejls]

This was very much a sex story and it's great that so many of the readers have read and commented on tit. Well written with good sex. Honestly, not my cup of tea due to the ages of the subjects. I liked the premise, if the participants had been older.

I wish you good luck with in this challenge.

[Hornycountryboy]

Originally Posted by ejls

This was very much a sex story and it's great that so many of the readers have read and commented on tit. Well written with good sex. Honestly, not my cup of tea due to the ages of the subjects. I liked the premise, if the participants had been older.

I wish you good luck with in this challenge.

I was worried with the ages, since this was the first story that I wrote in ages that young, but its what I had in mind and I don't like changing little things like that. Even though its little and no one would ever know it, but would bother me to the point that I wouldn't be happy with it.

Thanks for taking the time to read and for hosting this challenge.

[Wee Hector]

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[Twistedsister]

Bump

[Hornycountryboy]

Thanks for the bumps guys.

[blueheatt]

A very good story!.....bumpity bump bump

[ejls]

[Hornycountryboy]

Originally Posted by blueheatt

A very good story!.....bumpity bump bump

Thanks!

[JackassTales]

Originally Posted by ejls

This was very much a sex story and it's great that so many of the readers have read and commented on tit. Well written with good sex. Honestly, not my cup of tea due to the ages of the subjects. I liked the premise, if the participants had been older.

I wish you good luck with in this challenge.

Lady, I have only commented on TIT today. HCB writes a compelling tale with characters that ARE my cup of tea. This story is among my top 2 in my short list for the vote.

[Hornycountryboy]

Originally Posted by JackassTales

Lady, I have only commented on TIT today. HCB writes a compelling tale with characters that ARE my cup of tea. This story is among my top 2 in my short list for the vote.

Thanks Jack! I was hoping you might enjoy this story. I knew when I was writing this story a few people wouldn't enjoy it because of the ages of the girls, but I also knew I wasn't going to please everyone.

Well its nice to know I made someones short list thanks again.

[ELaken-Palmer]

This story should be on everyone's short list. It's on mine for sure.

[DoyleGentry]

Wow. I like and bump.

[Hornycountryboy]

Originally Posted by ELaken-Palmer

This story should be on everyone's short list. It's on mine for sure.

Really appreciate that comment thanks!

[thesilent1]

Hcb, I like the creative use of the photo, it seems to set this story apart from the others CAW 11 stories that I had read so far. Excellent story!

[ahorsewithnoname]

Oh my God...you left out the most important detail...the guy's street address! How am I supposed to go install video cameras in his place for everyone if I don't know the address?

Great story idea. Nice surprise too!

[Hornycountryboy]

Originally Posted by thesilent1

Hcb, I like the creative use of the photo, it seems to set this story apart from the others CAW 11 stories that I had read so far. Excellent story!

Thank you, I am glad you enjoyed the story!

Originally Posted by ahorsewithnoname

Oh my God...you left out the most important detail...the guy's street address! How am I supposed to go install video cameras in his place for everyone if I don't know the address?

Great story idea. Nice surprise too!

Well Horse, Kelly, and Emily wont even give me the address so I can go and at least watch. You would think with everything I had done for them, like coming up with their characters and allowing Mark to discover them, that they would be more grateful, but they sure do keep their secrets, so much that they will do anything to keep it.(or anyone)

[Hornycountryboy]

Originally Posted by DoyleGentry

Wow. I like and bump.

Thanks Doyle!

[Hornycountryboy]

Bump

[Daddycums]

Originally Posted by Hornycountryboy

Bump

I see what you did there. You bumped all the CAW stories and ended with yours so that it would be at the top of the list. Sneaky.

I'm just teasing you. Since I already voted for your story as my favorite in the contest, I can't exactly complain if it gets more exposure, can I?

Besides, this mostly pointless comment just bumped your story again.

[Hornycountryboy]

Originally Posted by Daddycums

I see what you did there. You bumped all the CAW stories and ended with yours so that it would be at the top of the list. Sneaky.

I'm just teasing you. Since I already voted for your story as my favorite in the contest, I can't exactly complain if it gets more exposure, can I?

Besides, this mostly pointless comment just bumped your story again.

Haha I guess I could see how some may have viewed it like that. Truth is the other day when I bumped all the stories I started from the bottom and worked my way up, which placed the your story at the top. Last night I started from the top and worked my way down.

Wow I think that sounded sexy when it wasn't supposed to be

[Laura953]

Three things struck me about your story
1) the simplicity of language
2) the courage to do the protagonists of girls 14 years (many hypocrites could report the story)
3) might be a story (unexpected but not unlikely) true that happened in any city.

for you my vote and my compliments to all the other writers CAW11

[Hornycountryboy]

Originally Posted by Laura953

Three things struck me about your story
1) the simplicity of language
2) the courage to do the protagonists of girls 14 years (many hypocrites could report the story)
3) might be a story (unexpected but not unlikely) true that happened in any city.

for you my vote and my compliments to all the other writers CAW11

Thanks, but although I made the characters a younger age and people could report it but I am within the guidelines of the forum rules.

I you for your comment and your vote!

[ahorsewithnoname]

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[ahorsewithnoname]

motherfucking bump to get these stories to the top and JoeFuckheadDirty (and his little troll pornvision) below

[Wee Hector]

bump

[Hornycountryboy]

All aboard the bump train! Choo choo!

[DoyleGentry]

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[darthel0101]

bump

[blueheatt]

BUMP!

[Dizzyworks673]

Bump