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06-05-2012, 10:04 PM
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#1 |
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Newcumer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3
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The pussy of my dreams
well i am josh a 16 year old boy who's life is about to change....
i was walking to Walmart when this hot young bitch was walking past me with really short shorts on and a tank top that shows half her belly button as she walks by i say "hey sexy" she turns around and says "oh thank you here's my number so i took it and i went into Walmart and bought the stuff i was going to buy payed for them and left then when i got home i called the girl. when she picked up i said " hey babe don't you remember me and she said yeah i remember you Walmart boy and then i said wanna come over my parents aren't home and she said sure so she came over 20 mins later so when she got to my house she knocked and i said come on in and she came on in and what she was wearing was so hot i wanted to jack off right in front of her so i told her i had to go to the bathroom and when i got into the bathroom i quickly pulled down my pants and in 10 seconds i was rubbing my cock up and down up and down and finally i shot out a whole load and what i didn't realize is that she was standing outside the door when i got in the bathroom playing with herself. she said "Damn Baby that was hot, was that because of me?" I of course said yes and then she just started kissing me like crazy and before i knew it she had already took my shirt off and my pants and underwear off and before i knew it she was sucking my cock like a pro..i mean this girl was going hard at it and in two mins i was cumming in her and i couldn't believe what i saw she was doing, she was actually swallowing my cum.. " baby that was so hot" she said out loud and i said hell yeah babe and then before i knew it she was taking off her shirt then her bra and when i took one good look at those things i quickly ran up to them and started kissing, sucking, pinching, pulling and she was moaning like crazy... she asked me if i could fuck her in the shower and i said why not so i asked her if she wanted cold warm or hot she said in the middle so i took that as medium hot so i started the shower and then she came in with her robe on and while the shower was warming up she was kissing me like crazy!!! so when the shower was done warming up she took off her robe i took off my clothes and before we went in she jacked me off and boy let me tell you i was moaning like shit, so when she was done we got in the shower and when we did you would never guess what she did she started washing off my cock with soap and water and when she was done she was kissing and sucking it when i finally cummed in her face she took it as "GO TIME" so she layed down right in front of me and said come on down baby it's nice and wet for ya... so as i was getting down on my knees getting ready to suck her pussy the water cut off we wondered why but we didn't care this was much better so as i was saying i went down on her pussy like crazy!! she moaned a hell of a lot and so she cummed in my mouth and i ate it... so when i was done with that the water turned back on full speed... but we didn't care we were just getting started so i laid down and she did it cowgirl style backwards and she justs starts riding my cock like a horse i mean she was bouncing up and down her tits were jiggling i mean to tell you it was fucking hot then i started cumming she she turns around facing me and starts bouncing up and down again and she was moaning like hell!! " oh baby fuck me harder, oh yeah you like that pussy yeah baby oh fuck i'm cumming shit oh shit then before we knew it we were both breathing really hard and we cummed together" to be continued...... there will be a part two just comment more names you want to be in here and i will try to add them in here thanks for reading bye!!! 
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06-07-2012, 06:02 PM
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#2 |
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Newcumer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3
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why aren't people replying i need names now!!
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06-07-2012, 07:30 PM
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#3 | |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,920
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Quote:
The next is, you need major help with your writing. You don't write in sentences, because you never use a period except at the end of a paragraph. You don't capitalize the beginning of your sentences (paragraphs) when you should. "i" should always be "I". For some people, if your writing style is poor, they give up on it before too long. I'm not saying your idea isn't bad, although to be quite honest, I gave up on it too, since your account is going to be banned. Come back in two years. EDIT: Ok, your profile says you are an 18 year old girl. <shrug> So you won't get banned. That's the good news. The bad news is, you still need quite a bit of help with writing. Sorry. |
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06-07-2012, 07:50 PM
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#4 |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,230
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Welcome to the forum...keep writing. I found google had tons of names for us to use. Read what others do with grammer and such. Good Luck and keep going!
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06-11-2012, 02:23 AM
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#5 |
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Amateur
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 70
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there is no details in your story....
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06-11-2012, 05:38 PM
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#6 |
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Newcumer
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 3
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nice storyyyyy.............can you please post more interested story..............
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06-14-2012, 04:01 PM
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#7 |
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Porn Surfer
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 44
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Might want to improve your writing skills first.
Then make a story that doesn't read like a poorly written letter to Penthouse. |
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08-08-2012, 09:38 PM
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#8 |
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Sex Lover
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: US left coast
Posts: 105
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believability
is lacking. Maybe, just maybe this could have happened. Not in my life or the lives of anyone I know. It's about as interesting as:
I walked into Walmart and there was this really sexy young girl and I feel into her vagina and screamed "fuck yeah"!! Boring. |
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08-09-2012, 02:43 PM
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#9 |
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Porno Junky
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 357
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I have to agree that this was kind of a waste of time.....
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08-09-2012, 04:55 PM
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#10 | ||
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Porn Star
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Washington State
Posts: 1,374
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Quote:
Quote:
This forum is a great place to learn. Take what people tell you as advice not negatively. Every great writer started somewhere so don't give up.
__________________
Your never to old to become what your meant to be..... Click here for Toy Store Boy the saga of Joey and Ashley. For the links to The Wall and My Other Collected Works.
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