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06-16-2012, 07:45 AM
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#1 |
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Cute & Cuddly
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 7,234
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Female "Logic"
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06-16-2012, 07:48 AM
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#2 |
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Cute & Cuddly
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 7,234
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06-16-2012, 07:56 AM
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#3 |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: somewhere lost
Age: 29
Posts: 1,154
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LOL funny as hell
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Lead me not into temptation, For I shall lead you-Jerry626 |
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06-16-2012, 09:53 AM
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#4 |
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Cute & Cuddly
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 7,234
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06-16-2012, 09:59 AM
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#5 |
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Banned!
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 21,168
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Can't live without them.....
Can't please them...... Can't shoot them. Thank fuck they have vaginas. 
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06-16-2012, 10:17 AM
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#6 | |
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Sex Machine
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 899
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Quote:
 Treat them mean to keep them keen. |
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06-16-2012, 10:23 AM
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#7 |
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Porn Surfer
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 16
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Brilliant , keep em coming.
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06-16-2012, 02:23 PM
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#8 | |
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Banned!
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 21,168
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Quote:
and mean doesn't necessarily mean nasty....... I mean...a man can be mean with his money...for example. |
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06-16-2012, 03:03 PM
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#9 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Between the Near and Far East
Age: 21
Posts: 4,277
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Haha love this thread.
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FORGET THE POPE, THE QUEEN OF BLADES HAS ARRIVED I'm not a Mod, but if you need any advice, I'm always available. for a few khaydarin crystals ofcourse.
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06-16-2012, 03:06 PM
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#10 |
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Resident Shinigami
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Standing at the edge of the world
Posts: 4,415
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If you think these are brilliant, then you're a sexist twat, as is OP. I'd love to see how pissed off some of you "men" would be if it was the other way around, double standards all around, eh? Dumb-asses.
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Here we go, Hold on tight and don't let go, I won't ever let you fall. I love the night, Flying over city lights, But I love you must of all Theatricality and deception, powerful agents to the uninitiated...but we are initiated, aren't we Bruce?
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06-16-2012, 03:09 PM
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#11 |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: in the border planets....
Posts: 2,313
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HUGE generalisation - not all girls are like that.
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06-16-2012, 03:12 PM
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#12 | |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: In my house.GMT
Posts: 6,096
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Quote:
Here's a clue............. It's a Joe Dirty thread with TCL posting also. Are you really expecting it to contain any sense with these two basement dwellers involved? 
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You say OCD......................I say tidy.
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06-16-2012, 03:21 PM
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#13 |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: in the border planets....
Posts: 2,313
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fair point.
*leaves well enough alone* |
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06-16-2012, 03:22 PM
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#14 | |
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Resident Shinigami
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Standing at the edge of the world
Posts: 4,415
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Quote:
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Here we go, Hold on tight and don't let go, I won't ever let you fall. I love the night, Flying over city lights, But I love you must of all Theatricality and deception, powerful agents to the uninitiated...but we are initiated, aren't we Bruce?
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06-16-2012, 03:23 PM
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#15 | |
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Banned!
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 21,168
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Quote:
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06-16-2012, 03:31 PM
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#16 | ||
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Cute & Cuddly
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 7,234
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Apparently women can't laugh at themselves.  That's why we dudes will do it for you.  Quote:
Quote:
Were you born without them? Or did some woman take them from you?
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06-16-2012, 03:37 PM
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#17 | |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: In my house.GMT
Posts: 6,096
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Quote:
You have possibly had sexual relations with a real, live woman, probably just the one. Joe on the other hand...............................
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You say OCD......................I say tidy.
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06-16-2012, 07:21 PM
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#18 |
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The Curly Wurly Man
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Running through the mind of a Dark Haired Beauty.
Age: 52
Posts: 26,469
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You have no worries Joe, you like your ladies with a swinging dick.
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06-16-2012, 07:36 PM
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#19 |
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devilish Angel
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Germany
Age: 22
Posts: 21,748
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any woman who canīt laugh about it just proves that its true for her
__________________
Moderator A dirty book is rarely dusty. Winning doesnīt always mean being first. Winning means youīre doing better than youīve ever done before. You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know. (Oscar Wilde) For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time. (Isabel Allende) GMT +1 Angel
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06-16-2012, 07:54 PM
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#20 | |
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::.unhomed.::
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 16,848
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Quote:
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06-16-2012, 08:10 PM
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#21 |
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Siren of the Seaway
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: On the river in NY
Posts: 35,896
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Man's Age is determined by hardware store.
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house --.
Mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit -- shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the following: In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register. In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with. In your 40's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. T he hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy. In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a hat; wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog crap in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Bubba's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms.' In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure. In your 70's: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize your balls are hanging out the hole in your crotch. In your 80's: Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you need to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door. In your 90's & beyond: What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?
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Calling All Writers Creator, CAW 1,5, 10 & 14 Winner MODERATOR-Making the world safe for pure porn Last edited by ejls; 06-16-2012 at 08:14 PM. |
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06-16-2012, 08:18 PM
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#22 | |
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::.unhomed.::
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 16,848
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Quote:
Mind you, it might be because the big hardware store where I come from is pretty much staffed by men of rather dubious - and quite possibly very limited - genetic stock. I will, and have, gone in to buy stuff covered in sawdust, oil, or paint. Dunno why anyone would want to spice up for it - the only reason I'd wash my mitts would be so I didn't get grease on the steering wheel! |
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06-16-2012, 08:31 PM
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#23 | |
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More Spicy than Sweet
Join Date: May 2012
Location: New England
Age: 43
Posts: 2,626
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Quote:
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"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy." Henry Kissinger NO Photos, Skype, chat, email, sex-text or c2c EVER
 Married with children |
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06-16-2012, 08:42 PM
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#24 | |
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Siren of the Seaway
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: On the river in NY
Posts: 35,896
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Quote:
__________________
Calling All Writers Creator, CAW 1,5, 10 & 14 Winner MODERATOR-Making the world safe for pure porn |
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06-16-2012, 09:35 PM
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#25 | ||
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::.unhomed.::
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 16,848
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Quote:
Quote:
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06-16-2012, 10:45 PM
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#26 | |
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Banned!
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 21,168
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Quote:
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06-16-2012, 10:46 PM
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#27 | |
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Banned!
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 21,168
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Quote:
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06-16-2012, 11:09 PM
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#28 |
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Porn Surfer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 18
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I about shot my water out my nose. lulz
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06-16-2012, 11:11 PM
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#29 | ||
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Porn Star
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: In my house.GMT
Posts: 6,096
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Quote:
Quote:
I have noticed that you have turned into a right miserable fucker lately. Obviously I never had you down for a little ray of sunshine either but even so for fucks sake get a grip man, do the smileys have no meaning to you. Of course if you choose to be offended, you can fuck right off also.
__________________
You say OCD......................I say tidy.
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06-16-2012, 11:18 PM
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#30 | |
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Banned!
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 21,168
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Quote:
How fucking funny is that? And I don't give a fuck about whatever it is you think you have noticed. You're a twat...and forever will remain so. Are we clear now? PS. My flat in Finland is on the third floor...btw .....with quite a nice view....trees all round outside actually. So that makes it at least 3 storeys above a basement. You really should think before you type. |
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06-16-2012, 11:26 PM
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#31 | |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: In my house.GMT
Posts: 6,096
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Quote:
You sad fuck, you pitch up here and make your whiny bitch threads about how someone has left you a nasty message on your homepage and then start bragging about your great life in .......................Finland................. Fuck me, do you all sit outside to watch the Traffic lights change? Go put your sissyboy gear on, you might get a blowjob form Joe....  Dumbfuck.
__________________
You say OCD......................I say tidy.
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06-16-2012, 11:32 PM
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#32 | |
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A Fun Flirty Frisky Friendly Felion
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 37,037
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Quote:
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If anyone was to jerk the tail of a lioness, they shouldn't be surprised if they get just a little more than a friendly nip. - freespiritx A lioness and her human: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_3H0RbTDgo I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know...just to be sure. |
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06-16-2012, 11:33 PM
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#33 |
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A Fun Flirty Frisky Friendly Felion
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 37,037
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You guys are funny!!!
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If anyone was to jerk the tail of a lioness, they shouldn't be surprised if they get just a little more than a friendly nip. - freespiritx A lioness and her human: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_3H0RbTDgo I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know...just to be sure. |
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06-16-2012, 11:40 PM
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#34 | |
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Banned!
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 21,168
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Quote:
Care to share more about yourself? |
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06-16-2012, 11:42 PM
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#35 | |
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Banned!
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 21,168
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Quote:
I hope you have fresh knickers to hand!! |
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06-16-2012, 11:53 PM
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#36 |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Compton, CA
Posts: 2,026
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06-16-2012, 11:55 PM
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#37 | |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: In my house.GMT
Posts: 6,096
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Quote:
Now that's Nuff said.
__________________
You say OCD......................I say tidy.
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06-16-2012, 11:57 PM
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#38 | |
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Porn Surfer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Flint, Michigan
Posts: 32
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Quote:
This
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Your wife ordered a pizza from me.. She got the meat lovers |
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06-17-2012, 12:04 AM
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#39 |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Compton, CA
Posts: 2,026
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06-17-2012, 12:11 AM
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#40 |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Compton, CA
Posts: 2,026
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06-17-2012, 12:38 AM
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#41 | |
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Lend me some sugar, I am your neighbour!
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: England
Posts: 11,778
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Well done Joe, speaking as a somewhat frustrated male, I love it!
Yours, A fellow brother, or otherwise known (by the ladies), a misogynist bastard.
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Quote:
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06-17-2012, 01:54 AM
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#42 |
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More Spicy than Sweet
Join Date: May 2012
Location: New England
Age: 43
Posts: 2,626
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I thought all the jokes were funny, but the driving clips... I am a great driver. No points on my license and I have a lead foot!
I actually just upgraded my radar detector. That thing picks up every kind of police trap out there. NEW
__________________
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy." Henry Kissinger NO Photos, Skype, chat, email, sex-text or c2c EVER
Married with children |
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06-17-2012, 02:10 AM
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#43 |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Right up your arse
Posts: 1,332
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As you are now I once was. As I am now you will be.
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06-17-2012, 02:11 AM
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#44 |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Right up your arse
Posts: 1,332
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.......
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As you are now I once was. As I am now you will be.
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06-17-2012, 02:20 AM
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#45 |
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Porn Star
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northwest USA
Posts: 3,333
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If one lesbian cock blocks another lesbian, wouldn't that be called a beaver dam? |
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06-17-2012, 02:41 AM
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#46 | |
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A Fun Flirty Frisky Friendly Felion
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 37,037
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Quote:
__________________
If anyone was to jerk the tail of a lioness, they shouldn't be surprised if they get just a little more than a friendly nip. - freespiritx A lioness and her human: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_3H0RbTDgo I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know...just to be sure. |
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06-17-2012, 03:18 AM
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#47 | |
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Ridiculously Happy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Exactly where I want to be
Posts: 11,613
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Quote:
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∼∼∼♥~♥♥♥~♥∽∽∽
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06-17-2012, 10:04 AM
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#48 | |
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Banned!
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 21,168
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06-17-2012, 10:11 AM
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#49 | |
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Amateur
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: World of two moons
Posts: 83
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Quote:
Sadly I agree with this, were not always the best at being consistant and I can see were it would drive some of you crazy. |
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06-17-2012, 10:13 AM
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#50 | |
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Banned!
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 21,168
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Quote:
Wrong thread mate.......... and nowhere did I say it was a nasty message.... What fucking planet are you living on? The thread you are referring to is here...... http://forum.xnxx.com/showthread.php?t=290898 but please don't make yourself look as big an idiot as smc did on it. Hold on....whoops....too late for that I guess. |
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