The Curly Wurly Man
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Running through the mind of a Dark Haired Beauty.
I guess he called you a noob because you joined in June 2012, and come on begging for friends is a sure sign of desperation.
This will help you navigate the site.
General DiscussionThis was designed as a place where we can rationally discuss all topics. In reality it is a place where we argue and fight like children in a school-yard, we will scream and spit create alliances and break them with wild abandon. Occasionally socks run wild and appear to be taking over the board. There is nothing that we will not row over, except for spammers who we all hate. There is in here something to offend everyone. A fun place to be.
A word of warning for all you ladies or people pretending to be ladies, once you activate your account you will notice a minor miracle, I am of course referring to the almost instantaneous overloading of your box, not that one but rather your VM in-box. You will receive countless messages along the lines of.
“Do u wanna suk my cok”?
“Do u wanna feel my cok in ur ass”?
“Oh baby let me dominate u”.
“Hey bitch get on ur nees and suk me”.
“Hey, where the fuck is my dinner”?
Sadly the spelling and grammar of these escapees from “sexuality” (more of this later) is below the average of a banjo playing, mountain dwelling extra from “Deliverance”. We can do little to repel these drooling morons so it is best to ignore them, apart from the last one as I am always ready for dinner and will provide you with ample restitution in the form of Curly Wurlys
Pic and movie posts. Sub-basement one.
This is a place to post pictures and movie clips that you like; you will find threads of female members taking their clothes off to wild applause from the males, and some females. (The sort who wear sensible shoes and horn rim glasses and always seem to be without male company). You will also find threads where guys ask you to "Rate my Cock", what the fuck this place has to do with chickens I don't know. A nice place to see the human form in all its shapes and sizes and boy are there some weird shapes and immense sizes in there.
Word of warning. Images of children (under 18s), bestiality (dog on dog is allowed and so is dog on bitch) and scat (pictures of people with number twos on their chest) are all banning offences.
Sex Stories. Sub-basement 2
Self-explanatory, a place to post sex stories for a review of members before posting in the Stories Forum. Some really dirty stuff in there, it could be shocking to an innocent young girl so be careful, or not.
Tales of underage sex (13) is a banning offence. I know it is a weird age but it is something to do with freedom of expression.
Sexuality. Sub-basement three
Be really careful if you are going to enter this place as it is full of the weirdest kind of deviants, if you enter without caution we may never see you again until they throw out your dried out husk of a body. Anything is discussed in here, there is nothing they have not thought of or will not devise, some of the stuff they wish to do is so fucking weird that I cannot even begin to describe it, nothing is off limits to this crowd, egg and chicken, daddy love, mommy love, brother on sister, brother on brother, and the implements they talk about scare me so I will say no more.
Do not enter unless you have told someone where you are going, your expected exit strategy and time; also have a rescue team on standby.
We are losing up to three members a week in there; in the near future I will be putting together a general rescue party to fetch a few out.
Personals. Sub-basement four.
This place is inhabited by the most desperate of our members, the will advertise for many sorts of weird stuff, there are people looking for people in all the major population areas of the US, there are guys who want to pretend to be your daddy or your son, girls who are old enough to be your grandma want to be somebodies “naughty lil gal”, even guys and gals who want to be each other’s brothers or sisters, weird as fuck to some of us but normal to them, I guess they love playing the banjo too. Be really careful of the following, young nubile nymphomaniacs as they are usually “Silverbacks” (See below).
Games forum. Sub-basement five,The safest and most fun place in the house, here you can have fun with a variety of games that will amuse you, (except the one where they are trying to count to a million, fucking idiots) wander in and have fun it is like a virtual theme park.
Friends and friend’s requests.
Friend whores. - The people who feel the need for a high friend count and constantly send requests to folk they do not know and have never interacted with. These people are usually ignored.
I'm new be my friend. - These people appear to be needy and send out requests like confetti at a wedding. Again these are generally ignored.
The best way to get noticed is to post regularly in the GD, be witty and insightful, you can even be argumentative, chat to the people on the boards and even using PMs, then when people know you a little better they will usually accept requests from people of a similar ilk.
These people are the sort to be avoided at all costs; they are the most dangerous of all. What is a silverback I hear you cry, well they are like this.
Imagine if you will a poorly lit cellar, with a computer table and chair, surrounded by tables on either side for drinks and refreshments.
Sitting in the chair is a guy of around 300lb wearing deck shoes and ankle socks, Bermuda shorts and a string vest, due to his vitamin D deficiency he is as pale to the point of almost being an albino, his hair is grey and lank and held back in a ponytail,
You may think he is sat there in a smart grey sweater but that is because of his overly long back hair pushing through the holes of the vest.
Sitting in his hunched position he resembles, in shape only, the Alpha male of a Mountain Gorilla troop, or silverback as they are known
Now you know his habitat and appearance let’s talk of his life mission, his raison d'Ítre for being on the 'net.
He is constantly roaming the "sexuality" and "personals" boards looking for young males that he can persuade that he is a nubile young girl in her sexual prime that is looking for a good time online, he will then get them to live out their fantasies over the net, he will slowly reel in his prey with little tidbits such as “oh baby you feel so big” or “yeah baby fuck my ass and make me scream” with the occasional “let me suck your big cock”.
Whilst doing this he his stroking his cock with one hand while the other holds his meat pie or pasty. Once he has tired of them he lets them know his true identity leaving the victim feeling like he as swam through the sewage pipe of an Indonesian prison, some never recover from the shock and go on to become internet born again Christians whose mission in life is to ruin porn for us all.
A Special mention for Igor.
Igor is our specially trained lift attendant, you only need to whisper what you need and he will whisk you down to the right floor, sadly he is not allowed to except monetary tips, but any spare and warm body part is welcome.
He is easily recognisable as being of the tribe of "Igor's" as he has a humpback, orbital dystopia, an exotic series of scars and stitches adorn his face, like many Igor's he has an extra thumb stitched onto either hand (You can never have to much of a good thing), he is club footed and talks with a lisp. Or you could just read his name badge. If it is his day off his sister Igorina will be standing in for him, the females of the tribe of Igor's are surprisingly beautiful with long dark hair and none of the males apparent disabilities. As an added bonus all Igor's and Igorina's are adept surgeons so the threat of bobbiting is nothing to worry about.
Never even think about messing with the curly wurly trade, that is my business and I guard it jealously. Other inferior chocolate and sweets you can mess with as much as you like, but keep your hands of my 8 inches of magnificence
Welcome and enjoy
All of the above can be taken with a pinch of salt and treated as a little fun, apart from the Curly Wurly warning, that of course is the damn truth.
Last edited by richief; 06-23-2012 at 06:44 AM.