I need a favor.

chance52 · 07-10-2012, 10:59 PM

In an earlier thread, I got a lot of helpful responses to my commentaries about reviews and criticisms people give stories. Thanks to everyone that replied with their own bit of insight on it. I learned a few things from all of that. However, I still don't know where I stand as a new writer. I'm not sure how many of the people reading these threads have read my stories, but I have gotten almost the same amount of negative votes on all of my stories and I fear they're all for the same reason. Not a lot of people have commented on my stories at all, and half of the comments I did receive were spam.

So I'm here to ask a favor of you who are reading this thread. If you have the opportunity, especially those of you who are seasoned writers on this site, could you take a look at some of my stories? I don't particularly care so much about the rating. I'm not trying to boost my stories up. I would just like some criticism about the good or bad points in my stories so that I can improve as a writer. You may comment directly on the story or pm me. Either way, I just want to better my writing.

F-Star · 07-16-2012, 11:22 PM

I'm neither an experienced writer nor an experienced editor, but if I'm going to bump your thread I get to give my opinion.

I only read "An interesting thanksgiving week", as your older stories are all squished together without paragraph breaks. You seem to have that figured out by now though.

There are a few grammatical problems, nothing too serious, just typical coma splices, homograph confusions, and typos that could be corrected with an extra proofreading pass or two.

The story starts with a lot of unnecessary exposition. The first two paragraphs can be cut out and the story doesn't change at all. I guess you are setting up something for future chapters, but within the context of this story, the introduction is instantly forgotten. Honestly, in general, your description seems dry and verbose, like you are just filling space until you get to the "good" parts. Getting to the good parts is fine, but you might as well get there more laconically. The dialog is also fairly trite and doesn't serve much purpose.

The short version: I was aroused but bored.

Overall it's a hot scenario that's burdened a bit by wordiness. The "good" parts are pretty good, but everything around them is forgettable.

Keep up the good work. Sorry if that was no help at all.

ELaken-Palmer · 07-16-2012, 11:26 PM

Post your stories here on the forum where we can see them and comment. There are a lot of readers here and writers who love to read and comment on the stories of others.
_________

07-10-2012, 10:59 PM	#1
chance52 Newcumer Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: NY Posts: 4	I need a favor. In an earlier thread, I got a lot of helpful responses to my commentaries about reviews and criticisms people give stories. Thanks to everyone that replied with their own bit of insight on it. I learned a few things from all of that. However, I still don't know where I stand as a new writer. I'm not sure how many of the people reading these threads have read my stories, but I have gotten almost the same amount of negative votes on all of my stories and I fear they're all for the same reason. Not a lot of people have commented on my stories at all, and half of the comments I did receive were spam. So I'm here to ask a favor of you who are reading this thread. If you have the opportunity, especially those of you who are seasoned writers on this site, could you take a look at some of my stories? I don't particularly care so much about the rating. I'm not trying to boost my stories up. I would just like some criticism about the good or bad points in my stories so that I can improve as a writer. You may comment directly on the story or pm me. Either way, I just want to better my writing.

07-16-2012, 11:26 PM	#3
ELaken-Palmer Forum Porn Laureate Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Southwest Michigan FILTH AS LITERATURE Recommended XNXX Writer Multiple CAW wins Posts: 4,352	Post your stories here on the forum where we can see them and comment. There are a lot of readers here and writers who love to read and comment on the stories of others. _________ __________________ "My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way." . . . . . NEEDLESSLY VERIFIED: Pictures of my cock Writing Wrongs But Whom?

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07-16-2012, 11:22 PM	#2
F-Star Porn Surfer Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 20	I'm neither an experienced writer nor an experienced editor, but if I'm going to bump your thread I get to give my opinion. I only read "An interesting thanksgiving week", as your older stories are all squished together without paragraph breaks. You seem to have that figured out by now though. There are a few grammatical problems, nothing too serious, just typical coma splices, homograph confusions, and typos that could be corrected with an extra proofreading pass or two. The story starts with a lot of unnecessary exposition. The first two paragraphs can be cut out and the story doesn't change at all. I guess you are setting up something for future chapters, but within the context of this story, the introduction is instantly forgotten. Honestly, in general, your description seems dry and verbose, like you are just filling space until you get to the "good" parts. Getting to the good parts is fine, but you might as well get there more laconically. The dialog is also fairly trite and doesn't serve much purpose. The short version: I was aroused but bored. Overall it's a hot scenario that's burdened a bit by wordiness. The "good" parts are pretty good, but everything around them is forgettable. Keep up the good work. Sorry if that was no help at all.