Quotable Quotes from XNXX posters

[AZRIEL]

Originally Posted by baller16

I have no clue

Sad kitten.jpg

[qlight]

Ok I have found a funny quote posted by ArcherK, its in a rate my cock thread, not too sure if he thinks he might be going bald....

Id suck that cock with or without hair!

[Old Tool]

Originally Posted by Whitey44

A fish asshole doesn't do it for me like a pussy does.

what a fine addition to the xNxx lexicon

[Old Tool]

a blast from the past found in the stories section:

"i walked into the kitchen and poured myself a bow of captain crunch. i imagined it was actually called "crunchy cunt" and i got hard again. i had to pull my pants down and start jerking off again, my mom asked what iwas doing btu ibarely even heard her. i came all over the kitchen table and accidentally came into my cereal so i gave it to my mom and she ate it all. i loled really hard becaus i wasnt that hungry anyway."

read the whole thing if you dare : http://stories.xnxx.com/story/6817/little_jessica

[piggit]

Originally Posted by Old Tool

a blast from the past found in the stories section:

"i walked into the kitchen and poured myself a bow of captain crunch. i imagined it was actually called "crunchy cunt" and i got hard again. i had to pull my pants down and start jerking off again, my mom asked what iwas doing btu ibarely even heard her. i came all over the kitchen table and accidentally came into my cereal so i gave it to my mom and she ate it all. i loled really hard becaus i wasnt that hungry anyway."

read the whole thing if you dare : http://stories.xnxx.com/story/6817/little_jessica

haha If that is an accurate representation of the spelling and punctuation in that story, I'll pass, thanks.

[Lookn4awillin1]

I was lmao reading this thread until it was jacked on page 3. Assholes argueing fucked up a good thread. We have plenty of hate threads to argue on, why start the shit y

[~Orpheus~]

Originally Posted by bug24
It's fun knowing that young people will see the burning body and make a wish on it, up in the sky. Behind blue eyes...

[Incubus]

Originally Posted by x0Bella0x

i could go on and on about how fun it is to stay up all night eating massive amounts of acid. gel tabs, liquid, you name it, i've eaten it. fun stuff.

i would recommend you doing it with people that don't annoy you. every trip starts out wonderful where you can taste something you hear in the next room, until someone says or does the wrong thing. then you're suddenly in a place that you're trapped inside of, with no way out unless you blow a rail of cocaine. that seems to be the only thing that's capable of killing an acid trip. and it only kills it for about 20 minutes, then you're back in the game.

watch out for holes in the road and eggs that can speak french to you.

mushrooms never did anything for me. i took them a few times during an art class in college with these hippy people. they tasted awful and did nothing. *shrugs*

i was a fan of acid. tripping at a carnival is hours of fun. especially the rides that spin around. i remember sitting in my car after, for some reason i was trying to drive from the back seat (wtf??) and i couldn't stop pulling grass out of my hair. there was no grass. not sure what i was even touching.

[shy_guy1423]

One-liners and zingers seem more well suited to this thread, but here is a longer one that made me laugh nonetheless:

Originally Posted by Fluffy McNoo

Well let's see now;

Putting :D after your comments means you're grinning, or smiling widely, kinda like this ->

However...

If you put :A then you're talking about someone behind their back, or stage-whispering something.

If you put :B then you've had a tongue forking operation you're just dying to show off.

If you put :C, you're a Yosemite Sam (minus his hat)

If you put :E you've got some serious overbite problems.

If you put :F you've still got some serious overbite problems, but you met Baller, and pissed him off.

:G You're Yosemite Sam, your having a bad hair day, someone stole your hat, and THEY'RE A-GONNA DIE!

:H You got hit in the mouth with a girder. I did warn you, don't make Baller mad...

:J You're slightly stoned, but happy.

:K You're a vampire. With overbite problems.

:L You're sick, and having your temperature taken. Or a chronic smoker. Or both, possibly.

:M You're seen a picture of Kimiko naked, and your drool is out of control.

:N You're a happy goldfish.

:O You're shocked/surprised at discovering you're a goldfish.

:P Some pervert on here has got the hots for goldfish, and wants to have shallow meaningless sex with you.

:Q You're shocked about that too, and right in the middle of enjoying a nice juicy worm for dinner!

:R He's so hot for you, he's drooling now... he must have a worm fetish.

:S Yes, I know it's disgusting too, but darn it, how many people PM you offering hot sex with a goldfish anyway?

:T He obviously wasn't impressed with your reply PM, involving something to do with a food blender, anal penetration and pepper.

:U Great, now he's talking to all his friends about you, behind your back in PM.

:V Now your best friend "Tweetybird" is turning out to be a conniving two-faced bitch, and is talking about you behind your back as well!

:W See! TOLD you she was two faced!

:X You are so mad about this, you stop talking to "Tweetybird" and threaten to leave the forum.

:Y Someone comments nastily about you in public "Yeah, like you ever would do that, ya perv!"

:Z "Tweetybird" comes in to defend you in public.

:1 You're not entirely convinced.

:2 Tweetybird's beak's put out of joint by that, but she still stands up for you.

:3 You think that's kinda sweet, even if she is a bitch, but don't say anything.

:4 Tweetybird worriedly PM's you "is evithing OK? Did I du sumthing wrong?"

:5 You half-smile at her. "I'm a little hurt about things I've heard" you confess, and talk to her about it.

:6 She's shocked and frowning. "I nVr say NEthing lik tht - I'm yr bstest friend!"

:7 You smile uncertainly.

:8 Tweetybird gets indignant - "hey, I stud up 4U when U need a friend!"

:9 You retort "well there's no need to get all high and mighty about it!"

:10 Tweetybird is so angry, she leaves the forum, and had all her posts and PM's deleted!

:! The forum troll lurks, waiting to cause trouble for you.

: ? He smirks, logs himself in as "Tweetybird1" and starts posting all kinds of nasty things about you. (All made up, but Tweety was more popular than you!)

:- You are nonplussed!

:$ SHUT THE HELL UP! You scream at the troll, but he only gets meaner...

:£ Real mean.

:< that's it, you've had it with this place. Bunch of ******** losers here anyway.

:# You're not saying another word.

:^ yeah right, says some noob bitch you don't even know.

:* *gone*

: ( The real tweetybird returns. "Nooooo... come back, yr my bstest frnd!"

So that's why it's a good idea to stay away from :D . In the space of ten minutes, you've gotten into a total flame war with your best friend, upset half the people on the boards, left for good, and broke your bstest eVr friends heart in the process.

Dangerous things, emoticons.

Bye for now - Fluffy McNoo.

[Incubus]

Fluffy is epic

[x0Bella0x]

omg i can't stop laughing at that long post by fluffy.

[MintyKisses]

I could not stop laughing at this. Might be the massive amounts of caffiene I'm on right now, but I think that's only 10% of it. The other 90% is just the hilarity of the quote

Originally Posted by CasaDan

Well.. Looks help, but the ain't important. Though, I would like them to not be... well.. you know.. like they were hit with a truck several times...

[piggit]

hahaha! I ran across this one again this morning, and it made me laugh. Out loud.

Originally Posted by ShakeZula

I want Leila to suck my dick.
I want Leila to suck my dick while Bella licks her pussy.
I want piggit to massage my balls while sucking on Leila's nipples while Leila sucks my dick and Bella licks Leila's pussy.
I want Rain to fuck piggit with a strap-on while rubbing Bella's clit while piggit fondles my balls and sucks on Leila's nipples while Leila sucks my dick and Bella licks Leila's pussy.
I have a hard-on now.

-S-

[sullygom]

Originally Posted by Incubus

Wow a cut and pasteathon !

[Incubus]

Originally Posted by sullygom

Wow a cut and pasteathon !

there should have been a funny stfu picture underneath

[sullygom]

Omega Vega says.....

Tell him to learn to use a gun, self-suicide is so much more satisfactory.

[splodge]

Originally Posted by P3D0 B3@R

o hai!
1. Tammy Tetons
2. Big Dick MacGhee
3. Holly Honeyhole
4. Gigi Gogeousgash
5. Sammy Schlort
6. Vaginal Mary
7. Peter Panties
8. One-ball Billy Buttbanger
9. Daniel Drippydick
10. Linda Licorice
those are the ava's top 10 pornstars as of monday feb 23rd, 2009 9:39 p.m.
kthanx bai!

lmao

[splodge]

sorry I know its bad to double post but this was too funny,

Originally Posted by Lioness

I can just picture you in my mind like Goldilocks...this penis is too small, this penis is too big, but this penis is JUST right!!! :D

[stumbler]

Originally Posted by piggit

hahaha! I ran across this one again this morning, and it made me laugh. Out loud.

I have to admit this one made me laugh also. And gave a hard on too.

Originally Posted by ShakeZula
I want Leila to suck my dick.
I want Leila to suck my dick while Bella licks her pussy.
I want piggit to massage my balls while sucking on Leila's nipples while Leila sucks my dick and Bella licks Leila's pussy.
I want Rain to fuck piggit with a strap-on while rubbing Bella's clit while piggit fondles my balls and sucks on Leila's nipples while Leila sucks my dick and Bella licks Leila's pussy.
I have a hard-on now.

-S-

I

[budgreeen]

Quote:
Originally Posted by LORCO
There are these times when I take a big satisfying dump, and while doing so I also have a satisfying piss, and then I'm all done. I wipe and zip and go about my business, and then soon after I have to take another big piss! I just emptied myself all out, and then alla a sudden I have to piss again! WHY?
__________________________________________________
Easily explained. By Chunky...

Are you rather overweight and have a very long penis?
Do you lift the seat before defecating?
If so, then your penis may be hanging into the water.
Your voluminous buttocks are forming an air-tight seal around the top of the pan, when you pass a stool, it creates pressure inside the pan which forces the water back up your penis and re-fills your bladder.

Et voila!

I hope this explains your problem.

[Incubus]

Originally Posted by budgreeen

Quote:
Originally Posted by LORCO
There are these times when I take a big satisfying dump, and while doing so I also have a satisfying piss, and then I'm all done. I wipe and zip and go about my business, and then soon after I have to take another big piss! I just emptied myself all out, and then alla a sudden I have to piss again! WHY?
__________________________________________________
Easily explained. By Chunky...

Are you rather overweight and have a very long penis?
Do you lift the seat before defecating?
If so, then your penis may be hanging into the water.
Your voluminous buttocks are forming an air-tight seal around the top of the pan, when you pass a stool, it creates pressure inside the pan which forces the water back up your penis and re-fills your bladder.

Et voila!

I hope this explains your problem.

[heffer]

Originally Posted by AZRIEL

Attachment 491077

OMFG ITS ME!!!
i feel no ones pain! nor do i pity them!

[heffer]

Originally Posted by Old Tool

a blast from the past found in the stories section:

"i walked into the kitchen and poured myself a bow of captain crunch. i imagined it was actually called "crunchy cunt" and i got hard again. i had to pull my pants down and start jerking off again, my mom asked what iwas doing btu ibarely even heard her. i came all over the kitchen table and accidentally came into my cereal so i gave it to my mom and she ate it all. i loled really hard becaus i wasnt that hungry anyway."

read the whole thing if you dare : http://stories.xnxx.com/story/6817/little_jessica

LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO!! AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[P3D0 B3@R]

Originally Posted by Incubus

o hai!
this has got to be the funniest fucking thing i have ever seen/witnessed/looked at in my entire god damned life! how the hell can one possess such a vast sense of humor? to be able to come up with something so witty, and perfectly timed i must add, on a moments notice.....that my friends and neighbors, is pure genius. and the skill it took to quote a quote, holy bat-shit batman! that's some raw mother-fucking talent i tell you! no srsly.
kthanxbai!

[heffer]

Originally Posted by Old Tool

a blast from the past found in the stories section:

"i walked into the kitchen and poured myself a bow of captain crunch. i imagined it was actually called "crunchy cunt" and i got hard again. i had to pull my pants down and start jerking off again, my mom asked what iwas doing btu ibarely even heard her. i came all over the kitchen table and accidentally came into my cereal so i gave it to my mom and she ate it all. i loled really hard becaus i wasnt that hungry anyway."

read the whole thing if you dare : http://stories.xnxx.com/story/6817/little_jessica

also read this story. its funny as fuck in a dark sort of way. that or im still immature

[heffer]

by Fluffy Mcnoo
"If you're dead, you can't conveniently erase that hard core transsexual orgy video you downloaded last night"

[bug24]

Originally Posted by rcarson13@yahoo.com

My favorite sexual act would involve vaginal intercourse until just before climax, the shifting to my love's anus and shooting my load into her bowel.

RCarson is my idol!

[heffer]

hes the coolest old guy ever

[Igor]

Posted March 2009 and it only took him since February 2007 to work it out...

Originally Posted by JoeDirty

The nonfunny JoeDirty begins now....

[Old Tool]

from this post: http://forum.xnxx.com/showpost.php?p...06&postcount=1

"Azhole is actually Shake."



classic boneheadedness on display with wonderfully inappropriate public chutzpah!

[IVA HARDON]

" as i slide down the banister of life...i remember this world as a splinter in my ass " iva hardon.

[Incubus]

Originally Posted by IVA HARDON

" as i slide down the banister of life...i remember this world as a splinter in my ass " iva hardon.

LMFAO

[Fluffy McNoo]

Originally Posted by retired

Also remember women love compliments, so something like "You'd look really good with a black eye... think about it" and shaking your fist at her, is definitely a good way to break the ice.

Simply, brilliant.

Bye for now - Fluffy McNoo.

[Fluffy McNoo]

Originally Posted by smcaaphd

Confucius also say: People in stone houses shouldn't throw glass

Originally Posted by tymyshoe91

people in bamboo houses shouldn't throw pandas

I love the counter-response, and the visuals of throwing pandas around...

Bye for now - Fluffy McNoo.

[x0Bella0x]

Originally Posted by Fluffy McNoo

I love the counter-response, and the visuals of throwing pandas around...

Bye for now - Fluffy McNoo.

+1

[Rain]

Originally Posted by ShakeZula

And then I thought that even if they judge my cock on it's age, they're probably ugly.

-S-

[bug24]

The Clitoris and you, a Guide for Hikers
SilverLycan

It's epic.

[x__orion]

Originally Posted by Fluffy McNoo

I love the counter-response, and the visuals of throwing pandas around...

Bye for now - Fluffy McNoo.

Dear God, I'm remembering that.

[PatronofPorn]

Originally Posted by Bigg Daddy

why do all of you keep defending her from my venomous and moronic posts? i can't seem to understand that people will stick up for their friends so i just call it ass kissing and end up looking like weak minded idiot.

Pretty much.

[bug24]

Originally Posted by splodge

Science flies you to the moon.
Religion flies you into buildings.

It's very profound.

[ShakeZula]

Originally Posted by bug24

It's very profound.

Was coined by physicist and atheist Dr. Victor Stenger.

-S-

[smcaaphd]

Originally Posted by ShakeZula

Was coined by physicist and atheist Dr. Victor Stenger.

-S-

Will you PLEASE refrain from bandying the -A- word about like that? Do you know how powerful that is? It'll have all the -C-'s of the forum lining up and posting in here!! Eh Gads!!

[ShakeZula]

Originally Posted by smcaaphd

Will you PLEASE refrain from bandying the -A- word about like that? Do you know how powerful that is? It'll have all the -C-'s of the forum lining up and posting in here!! Eh Gads!!

It's true. He wrote a book that I have around the house somewhere called God: The Failed Hypothesis.

-S-

[smcaaphd]

Originally Posted by ShakeZula

It's true. He wrote a book that I have around the house somewhere called God: The Failed Hypothesis.

-S-

Lol!! I'm not calling you liar Shake - so please refrain from copy/pasting and linking your sources at me

[splodge]

Originally Posted by ShakeZula

It's true. He wrote a book that I have around the house somewhere called God: The Failed Hypothesis.

-S-

Is it any good?

[David58]

My Dad told me this one.
Ronald Reagan
You can't give poor people money,they buy stuff they don't need.

[Incubus]

Originally Posted by David58

My Dad told me this one.
Ronald Reagan
You can't give poor people money,they buy stuff they don't need.

was your father also your brother? because last time i checked Ronald Regan wasn't a forum member.

GTFO no hicks allowed.

[bug24]

Originally Posted by LonelyBigGuy

"Nobody dies a virgin, life screws us all."

This one hits me close to home, because my virginity.

[Incubus]

Originally Posted by Bluekur

A thought occurs to my waking self. What will become of these posts when I am gone? Will it live on, a small snap shot of my mind? A small echo of me lost in the spiraling rings of time that cascade away from this very moment. A ghost, caught in this machine, reaching out to those that happen upon it. Will people ponder what made this person tick? Not likely... but it is amusing thought.
A day? An hour? A minute? 10 years? A Century? A Millennium? An Eon? Will all of these posts still remain, long after we are all gone? A record for future generations to sort out? Or will it be lost, a mote of dust, in the desert of infinity? A glimmer of information stranded, islanded in a stream of stars.

[MintyKisses]

Originally Posted by TylerDurden069

But, for the times where I've got NO time and still wanna shoot out a million little potential babies, I'll put on one of the clips I've bookmarked in what has come to be my own little Clip Hall of Fame folder in my brower.

made me laugh out loud.