1. noboat

    noboat Porn Star

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2009
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    Ebbe dabe abby dabe
     
  2. MissRachael

    MissRachael Don't Let The Blonde Hair Fool You!

    Joined:
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    Market Research.

    A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.

    He says, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline brand petroleum jelly. Have you ever used the product?"

    She says, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."

    "And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?"

    "We use it for sex."

    The researcher was a little taken back. "Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex.
    I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?"

    The woman says, "I don't mind telling you at all; my husband and I put it on the door knob so the kids can't open the door!"
     
    1. hannahsbigdaddy
      Haha.. I'll have to try that
       
      hannahsbigdaddy, Feb 10, 2017
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  3. angelforyou

    angelforyou Your little bit of heaven From Paradise

    Joined:
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    27,584
    Who invented the name coconuts for coconuts and why random things I think of when cannot sleep !
     
  4. MissRachael

    MissRachael Don't Let The Blonde Hair Fool You!

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    Also, which evil bastard invented the word dyslexia?
     
  5. MissRachael

    MissRachael Don't Let The Blonde Hair Fool You!

    Joined:
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    fileyKi9yD_0.png
     
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  6. MissRachael

    MissRachael Don't Let The Blonde Hair Fool You!

    Joined:
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    Fred and Fiona were making passionate love in Fred's little van
    when suddenly Fiona, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out:
    "Oh big boy, whip me, whip me!"

    Fred, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously
    did not have any whips to hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Fiona until they both collapse in sado-masochistic ecstasy.

    About a week later, Fiona notices that the marks left by the
    whipping session are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the
    doctor.

    The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks:
    "Did you get these marks having sex?"

    Fiona a little embarrassed that she has slept with Fred, let
    alone that she allowed the kinky bugger to whip her, eventually
    admits that, "Yes", she did.

    Nodding his head knowingly the doctor exclaims:
    "I thought so, because in all my years of doctoring,
    you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever
    seen."
     
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  7. MissRachael

    MissRachael Don't Let The Blonde Hair Fool You!

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    True story!!!

    FB_IMG_1486725776712.jpg
     
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  8. freethinker

    freethinker Pervy Bear

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2009
    Messages:
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    ‘Pastafarian’ fights to wear pasta strainer in license photo

    [​IMG]

    Chicago-area woman wants to sue for the right to wear a pasta strainer.

    When Rachel Hoover renewed her driver’s license June 27, she persuaded supervisors to let her wear a colander — a symbol of her religious beliefs — in the ID photo.

    As a Pastafarian, Hoover belongs to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    Arlington Heights resident Rachel Hoover fought to wear a colander on her head for a photo ID and she plans on getting legal assistance to keep it that way. She calls herself a "strong believer" in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    When Rachel Hoover renewed her driver’s license June 27, she persuaded supervisors to let her wear a colander — a symbol of her religious beliefs — in the ID photo.

    As a Pastafarian, Hoover belongs to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    Now, the state says her license will become invalid if she doesn’t retake the picture before July 29.

    On Facebook, the 21-year-old called it a matter of “religious freedom” and said she was ridiculed by workers and others at the Schaumburg Secretary of State Drivers Services center.

    “A woman, she passed by and she said pretty loudly with a sneer, ‘It just looks silly,’ ” said Hoover, an Arlington Heights resident. “It’s demeaning and insulting.”

    After receiving notice from the Secretary of State’s office that she was issued an ‘incorrect’ photo and required to take a new one, Hoover said she lodged a complaint with the American Civil Liberties Union.

    Hoover, a student at Northern Illinois University, said she wants to sue for religious discrimination, but a lawsuit doesn’t fit into her college budget.

    Becoming an ordained Pastafarian minister does. She said she has been a believer for about six years, paid $25 to get the license and “solidify” her case.

    Some Pastafarians in Massachusetts, Wisconsin and Georgia have won the right to wear what Hoover calls a “religious headdress” in their license photos.

    In Illinois, members of recognized religions, including Orthodox Jews and Muslims, are allowed to wear traditional items in ID photos as long as the face is completely exposed, Secretary of State’s office spokesman Dave Druker said.

    But the state doesn’t recognize Pastafarianism as a religion.

    “If you look into their history, it’s more of a mockery of religion than a practice itself,” Druker said.

    Religious items worn throughout the day are also permitted in photos, according to Druker, but Hoover wasn’t wearing the colander when she entered the facility. She put it on just before the picture was taken.

    The Secretary of State’s office sent Pastafarian Rachel Hoover a letter stating that she must retake her state ID photo without wearing a pasta strainer.

    Hoover said the colander serves as a reminder that the Pastafarian deity, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, is always watching from above.

    The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster emerged in 2005 when founder Bobby Henderson published a letter proposing that schools teach multiple theories of “intelligent design” alongside the theory of evolution.

    Pastafarianism is recognized as an official religion in The Netherlands and New Zealand, but not in the United States.

    Within the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, members have varying degrees of belief; some see it as satirical, while others take it more literally.

    Hoover said she’s a strong believer.

    “It’s a theory and we do understand that,” she said. “It doesn’t mean there aren’t real believers. I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I believe in Pastafarianism.”

    If it does come down to losing her license, Hoover said she’ll retake the photo sans strainer. Either way, she said she won’t stop fighting for Pastafarians to be treated equally.

    “I just want freedom of religion. It’s not right that my religious headdress is not allowed when others are,” she said. “I face challenges, but I will definitely not give up.”
     
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  9. Rixer

    Rixer Horndog

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2008
    Messages:
    13,365
    I was just thinking.....
    Damn... I forgot what I was thinking...
    hahahahah
     
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  10. MissRachael

    MissRachael Don't Let The Blonde Hair Fool You!

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    images (33).jpg tumblr_nim5cja8QY1qewacoo4_1280.jpg
     
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  11. MissRachael

    MissRachael Don't Let The Blonde Hair Fool You!

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    It's a fact that 4 out of 3 people have problems with mathematics!
     
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  12. justpassingthru

    justpassingthru No Rest For The Wicked

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    Sounds like a civil liberties issue to me and if some can wear a niqab or turban, she is entitled to her religious beliefs ... she might want to lighten the amount of starch in her diet though. It has been proven that high starch diets make you susceptible to the power of suggestion (brainwashing).
     
  13. MissRachael

    MissRachael Don't Let The Blonde Hair Fool You!

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    If two people on opposite sides of the world, simultaneously drop a piece of bread...... For a brief moment, the earth becomes a sandwich!
     
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  14. MissRachael

    MissRachael Don't Let The Blonde Hair Fool You!

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    When you say the word 'crisp'. It starts at the back of your mouth and works its way to the front. Cool huh?
     
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  15. Aussie.ss

    Aussie.ss Amateur

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2016
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    The other day Someone called out to me and came running over when she got to me she said sorry I thought you were someone else , I replied I am
     
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  16. Aussie.ss

    Aussie.ss Amateur

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    It's not a fist till it reaches the wrist
     
  17. Aussie.ss

    Aussie.ss Amateur

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    99
    Clowns poo smells funny
     
  18. Aussie.ss

    Aussie.ss Amateur

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2016
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    Q 2 fish in a tank what did the first fish say to the second fish ?

    A who's driving this thing
     
  19. Aussie.ss

    Aussie.ss Amateur

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2016
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    It's better to be pissed off than pissed on
     
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    1. BrandiDelicious
      Are you sure?
       
      BrandiDelicious, Apr 17, 2017
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  20. Aussie.ss

    Aussie.ss Amateur

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2016
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    Um,,, depends who's pissing on you I guess