Well my concerns deal with getting a FULL erection and then reaching orgasm. I finally had sex the other night (I was a virgin until three days ago – I’m 23) and I didn’t quite perform as well as I thought I would.

When it finally came time for us to have sex, after about 30 minutes or so of fore-play, I had an extremely difficult time getting a full erection. I’m usually the type of guy who gets a hard on if there is a stiff wind, but I swear I could not get completely hard for the life of me. It is not because I was drunk (though I did have some to drink) and it is not because I did not find her attractive. I simply do not know the reason. I talked to my brother about this little problem and he said he some times experiences this problem but he didn’t give me a reason why or a possible solution. So I am asking you, what could it possible be? Stage fright after building sex up for so long, too MUCH fore-play, alcohol, etc…?

My second issue has to do with reaching orgasm. Since this was my first time I fully expected to cum after a minute or two, especially considering the oral sex and general fooling around we did before we actually had sex. But about 30-minutes into sex I seriously thought I had a problem. She kept asking me if I was sure that I was a virgin because I was lasting so long. She also said she was getting sore from keeping her legs open for so long, so I decided to switch positions and mix it up while giving her legs a break. But no matter what I did I simply could not cum. After about 15 more minutes I finally reached orgasm! But I swear it took about 14:30 longer than I had thought it would. Now most people would not complain about lasting that long, but I’m beginning to think that maybe I have a problem. I never have issues reaching orgasm with masturbation so why should I with sex?!

I think I might have a problem just outright performing and that it might help if I “get into the mood” before sex; which is absolutely not a guy thing! She agreed so next time we are going to do a little dinner and a movie then make a marathon of it as she put it.

But before this marathon I would like a little help. Do I have some issues, or am I just gifted with some extreme self control? And if it is self-control how the hell do I hurry it up?

Well thanks for reading this long post and I look forward to any and all advice you can lend me!

 

I'm in no way an expert on this things, but I can give you my two cents worth.

Your difficulty of reacing a full erection. I wouldn't be worried that it took you so long. Perhaps you were just nervous about it going to be your first time having sex. Maby there were other things on your mind. Just try relaxing a little more.

About you reacing orgasm.. Were you wearing a condom at the time?that could have caused you to last longer. Also, it the whole relaxing issue. It being your first time, might you have been a little nervous?

So in the end, just try to relax. I don't think that there is anything wrong with you what so ever.

Good luck

 

I'm no expert either, but I'll try to offer something helpful.

I'm pretty sure that's called nerves. Many, many things can play on your mind and prevent a good, hard erection. I can't imagine there's any reason to worry about it ...

As for the orgasm ... condoms will slow down your pleasure. Have you ever masturbated with a condom on? Probably not. So the sensations you normally feel are a bit muted. In time, I think that will also disappear, but in the meantime, you could try using thinner, more lightweight condoms?

And don't forget that sex is meant to be fun. Enjoy!!

 

Yep, nerves... next time will be better, i promise.

 

I agree with everyone. It's nerves, I've had similar issues. The more you relax and are comfortable with yourself and your partner the easier it will be to become errect and cum.

 

Dude, the same thing happened to me the first time. We had lots of foreplay during which I was hard as a diamond the whole time. Then, when it came to actual intercourse, I started losing my erection. I just figured it was because I had been hard for so long and due to nerves. To make matters worse, the girl came pretty quickly and then started to get dry so I never even came my first time! I know, that sucks. But, as with anything else, practice makes perfect. Keep doing it and you'll find your stride in no time.

 

Cuming is a problem for me kind of too, mainly a womans touch just does'nt do it for me. (this is probably really old and late)

 

from my experience its because you're nervous and its your first time.... this also happen on my first time but now im having great sex... not a problem.... and congrats for your first time!!!!

 

Again, I'm no expert, but I can say with some certainty that it's nerves and confidence. My first experience was somewhat similar to yours, but I had trouble staying hard pretty much the entire evening -- not just the sex itself. My partner was great and wonderful about it, though, and it got better in the future. As you get more comfortable with sex, you will relax and things should go much more smoothly for you. Good luck and congrats!

 

Nervous man. thats all and it will get better.In your attempt to satisfy your g/f you are making your self anxious and the more you think about it the worse it gets. Just relax and go with the flow. Try not to drink too much as alchohol lowers the blood pressure.

 

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