BUT i do like the feeling of anal but the problem is i don't own anything that can be inserted at all and i havn't been able to work up the courage to go out and buy something...

so what do you guys/gals recommend that I can find around the house for my personal anal pleasure?

 

Maybe some vegetables? I saw a clip somewhere, where this lady carved a cock out of a potato. It looked like it worked ok.

 

Try a candle....It helps if you shape the blunt end with a knife to make it nice and round. This makes it easier to slide in and stops your arse closing with a bang when you pull it out!

And, if you're feeling romantic, you can light it.

 

You know, that's a crock. You're TOTALLY gay. You're so gay, you scare other gay guys. We're talking butt-pirate, rump-ranger, flaming queen territory here.

Get some help, seek therapy, there may still be time to reverse the effects. Act now, before it's too late!!!


Sorry, just kidding. But I get really tired of you guys worrying about being gay. Here's a news flash, everyone has an asshole, even women and heterosexual men.

 

:shock: SOMEBODY CALL NBC!

 

I think most guys, at least those who can get past the whole "feeling gay thing", do enjoy anal. What I would recommend is to get past the "I can't be seen buying a dildo" thing, and go out and buy a real dildo. I've tried a variety of "household" items, and nothing beats a real cock shaped jelly dong. Before I bought a real dildo, I was mortified at the thought of it, but after getting past that, I've never had a cashier (or even fellow customer), male or female, say or do anything to cause me any embarrassment.

For a first dildo, I would recommend something like Adam's Pleasureskin Cock. It's not too large, but is a nice comfortable fit. Later on, when you want something bigger, try the Star Performer - Main Attraction. While you're there, you can pick up some good lube like astroglide.

 

He Adam, do you get royalties from the sale of those dildoes?

 

One of the guys I work with came to work recently and related a story of his days off. Seems he and his girlfriend were "playing" and she had strapped him face down on the bed with wrist and leg ties. She teased and licked for a while....then "disappeared". He said he heard her crank up a vibrator and assumed she was going to get herself off with it.

Then......he felt something press against his ass, and YIKES!!!! She began to "abuse" him with a well-lubed, virating dildo. Claimed he screamed and twisted, but was very well restrained and had to lay there and "suffer" as she worked over his ass and talked "dirty" in his ear.

He went on and on about how he couldn't believe she had done such a thing to him and how he liked "kinky" but this was going WAY too far.

Finnally I told him to quit whineing and act like a man. Asked if he had ever stuck anything up her ass......which he admitted he had, both toys as well as anal sex. Told him it seemed pretty fair to me that if he was going to exspect her to like such activity that he should not complain about the tables being turned......and if he'd relax he might find he liked it.

He got a funny look, checked to make sure no one else was around and told me,....."Don't ever tell any of the other guys, but it was really pretty damned great. It felt wonderful after a while and I got a huge hard-on......then she started deep kissing me and driving the vibrator deep and faster and I came all over the bed."

He was looking pretty worried until I told him it seemed like a normal reaction to me. He said, "I'm not gay you know, but I may want to do that again. Just don't ever let anyone else know I liked it.....they'd think I was a fag".

I really think most guys would have much the same reaction (and pleasure) if they would just relax and quit worrying about being "gay". Nothing done between a man and a woman for mutual pleasure is gay.......no matter who is doing what to who in what ever place. Enjoy and lighten up guys.

 

Sadly no, Kimiko . It's just that I have have had many dildoes over the years, and know from experience how the right cock can make anal sex so pleasurable.

 

Depending on what kind of hair brush you have, the handle of those are sometimes pretty good and not to big at all. Perfect if you just want a bit, or are starting out with something small

 

I'd go with AdamB's idea, go buy a real dildo. It's much much better I have tried many house hold items and a good dildo is ten times better. It's also much safer thats what it it made for, unlike junk in your house.

 

I love you for this post.



Sorry, but I didn't notice it before. Busy, busy. Much work to do.

 

And let's face it, what are they gonna say? The customers are there for the same reason you are, and the cashier is selling you the stuff... no-one is gonna give you hassle.

A friend of mine went in to an Ann Summers once to get a present (no, really, it actually wasn't for him!), and he insisted beforehand that we call him at a predetermined time so that he could 'excuse' his presence in the store by saying "Hi... yeah, I'm getting Jen's birthday present" on the phone. It was slightly undermined by the fact that the friend of ours he went in with was next in line at the desk with a butt-plug for himself.

 

Don't be afraid to go buy anything! If you need discreetness, check my profile and go to my web site.

Getting anal is the most pleasurable thing a man can get. Especialy when it comes from the woman he loves.

 

Well, vegetables are good.. Potatos might not be the best thing..
What if part of it gets smuched in you. :shock: