Hi Everyone I am reasonably new to this site and after checking it out decided to ask for some advice.I am in my first long term relationship,been together for 2 1/2 yrs now,but I have found I miss my sexual freedom.I loved having sex with men and women,I especially used to enjoy having multiple partners for sex but I am not sure what my new guy would think about this as he is sort of straight laced and his views on life are a bit conservative.I dont want to lose him by playing around as he is a wonderful man and was hoping some of you out there have come across this before and how/if you got around it.

 

I forgot to mention in the above post that I would like my man to join in not be left out,just not sure how to approach the subject without upsetting him which i dont want to do.

 

Well, my dear, unfortunately there are many men who just are so conservative, inhibited, possessive (brainwashed?), that they would not even consider such a possibility and would tell you to get lost if you even brought it up.

You need to know him pretty well to broach it, but maybe looking at a porn site with such, and saying, I wonder how that would be, might be an icebreaker and you can gauge his reaction.

Boy, I sound like DEAR ABBY. Anyway, hope this helps and Im sure others will chip in. Much respect for opinions of RAIN, PIGGIT, NYMPHO.

 

1) You've got to know what is more important to you, and act on that. A life of lacking sexuality seems bad, but so does the chance of losing somebody.

2) You've also got to be able to communicate within a relationship. Perhaps it could become a shared fantasy? Perhaps he's more open then you know?

Ultimately, act on what is important to you. And remember that you know him better than we do.

 

I had a way more active sex life when I was single. I do miss that and really miss not having a woman sexually. I wanted to have a 3-some with another woman. I brought it up casually. We were driving somewhere and passed by a hot woman that was walking. I asked my husband, "Did you see her?, damn she was hot." Then in a somewhat joking manner I suggested we should "pick her up and bring her home". This opened up the conversation to 3-somes. We talked about it for a few days. It didn't turn out the way I wanted to begin with, but I do know how he feels about it now. Hopefully this helps with how to bring it up without upsetting him. Hell, you just never know, he might be all for it.

 

Why don't you suggest him, you......and another woman??

You might find that you get a positive response.....then you can move on to other combinations!!! :twisted: :twisted:

 

You might also consider not telling him at all. That's the hell of being human.

It's possible that if you tell him your desires doing so may turn into a fiasco. It's your call.

As for cheating; is the paranoia worth it?

 

If you trust and love him, and he does same to you, then ask him about it. Bring it up in a small maner.
"Hey.. I was just curious. Nothing big. Would you ever consider doing _______"

 

Hi all thanks for the advice .I wouldn't cheat as that is not what I feel a relationship is about.We have only been living together for 9mths(dating for over 2yrs so you can see what I mean about his views on life) as I said he is very conservative.Hopefully he will loosen up over time,but I really do miss the action.

 

Rain came to mind when I first read your question. You should consider what she has to say - she's had to make sacrifices, but did it all for the man she loves.

The same is true for all of us, we just have to define that line where we're willing to sacrifice for who we love. Be honest to yourself and know if its worth it.