Sharing - Who initiates it?
Discussion in 'Sexuality' started by Swinger22, Apr 3, 2017.
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Who initiated the discussion about sharing first in your relation?
In our case, my wife brought a guy home.
My wife did, after we watched DP porn videos - her favorite. She said she would want that. So I said, lets find someone. It was before internet, first date was through a phone dating service with a 'department' for erotic dates. I did most of the selection work. It brought our first regular fuck buddy. Later, when we lost him out of sight, came IRC with chatrooms dedicated to sex, that brought us the second buddy whom we met on and of for fifteen years.
A very nice read
My fiance did it differently, one night she came home from the bar with a very nice large breasted milf and we had a wonderful evening. She said she would like to have another guy with us but she's not ready to actually do it yet
Must have enjoyed it.....lucky
Is it not generally the more adventurous partner the one with more experience!
Alternatively the partner with no jealousy issues.
She has some jealousy issues about weird things but I think we are pretty even in the adventurous department, she's done more off the wall shit than me though
In my life , I always did.
I always liked to discuss things , so usually got an indication if she might be interested in something more.
Then would drop comments that would lead further , and either continue or let it lie a while , depending on the reaction.
Some , got there in one night , others a lot longer , and a few I figured it a total no go.
Funniest ; a young whore I knew , discussing her work one night and the subject in general.
She regularly serviced 6 to 13 men a night ,
I dropped in a comment about threesome's , or 3 or 4 men at a time.
"Oh no" , she said , "girls who do that have no respect for themselves". " I could never do that ".
I had trouble not laughing .
(I'd just stopped by for a chat , as I often did , and to see if she wanted a lift home later , and she'd already served several clients , and while chatting , got my cock out and hopped on and fucked me , and would carry on and do some more , before I gave her a ride home a few hours later)
Needless to say , I didn't pursue the subject
My master but it was understood from the start that he could use me as he desired.
My husband brought it up.
The first time I was in a poly relationship no one brought anything up. We just didn't break up with each other when we started dating other people.
The second time around, Sir brought it up after we'd been monogamous for our entire 13-year relationship. I freaked the fuck out but within a week I was ok with it and within two weeks I had a boyfriend. (This is often the case when men initiate an open relationship - the woman gets a ton of guys almost immediately, while he drums his fingers hoping a girlfriend comes along someday.)
Strikes me as both honest and well thought out. Keep at it!
It was never discussed past each stating personal experiences, lifestyle and preferences we had before becoming a couple. That said, when I first came to live with my now Husband it was very rocky at best.
So here I was coming from a significantly sexually abusive life, that once I gained control over it, turned into "me" abusing myself and others. Sex was everything in my life at that point, my career even, and meant that many times a day with many people I'd be doing a vast scope of sexual things. In contrast, my Husband had experienced and formed his life into an equally sexual one yet in his case they were all positives for all concerned. On top of it all it was my first time having a mature emotional love for another person, odder still a man... and boom, just like that I ended my life up to that point selling my businesses, ceased doing all of the booze and drugs I did in a day, got rid of everything and packed what I wanted on my bike (motorcycle) and moved hundreds of miles to start anew.
Where we had massive problems was not in the regard of sexual activity, yet that we were both concerned with putting the other in a situation that would hurt them. As said, on top of it all of my experience was negative, his was positive, so as odd as it may be, walking into his home where the same sexual circus was going on then as it is now, found us both shutting down sexually except with each other. I was feeling as though I was keeping him from his life (though never asked him too), he felt as though any suggestion even for "me" to participate and enjoy would be viewed as him trying to simply use and abuse me as others had. What bothered me most was, he literally had changed his life to a negative to not pressure me. So, since that bothered me more than anything, I realized that I had to not only let him know that I had changed my viewpoint, yet actually really do it.
So, though I had a lot of work to do, I made it clear by grabbing one of the couples here, taking them to him, sucked his cock in front of them until he was hard and then had the gal sit on his lap and fuck him as I ate her, and had her husband fuck me... THEN we finally talked.
The result being, I wanted his life to continue as it had, and I wanted to learn how to enjoy life as fully as he did. Jealousy not a part of either of our personalities, that meant that he would have to go above and beyond in his typical participation, and also press me to participate above and beyond what I would do left to my own means. I made it very clear, I wanted, needed to change me. Yet I didn't know how, or even understand 99.9% of normal healthy interactions with others, lifestyle, viewing myself, or how to even live life itself. So I wanted his help, and he had already proven my trust in him, so that and sex with others was a non-issue.
So, we worked it out together. It was never a question of limits with us, the best analogy being the Christmas story "A Gift of the Magi." No matter our own personal issues, the other has always been more important. There was no way it could fail or that either of us could do anything wrong with that foundation.
...and it has been a parade of partners for us both ever since.
Ibrought it up during some talk during sex. We get vocal and we just started feeding off of each other. Led to me telling her to imagine it was a nother cock fucking her and I was watching. She got off on it. After a couple times of this, we had a discussion about it and she was totally intrigued at the idea.
Our first time was spontaneous and organic.
We didn't plan it or talk about it, it just sort of happened.
Since then, it can go either way.
When I marry, hubby can fuck who ever he wants as long as he brings them home for me to fuck too.
This is totally acceptable, youd have to bring home to share aswell from time to time.
It was always me who brought the subject up.
Always the male... how long have you guys had open arrangements? How long have you been married/together? Did you introduce it early on or?
I brought it up, after thinking about a lot of things over about a year, I finally approached my wife about it.
In my relationship, I brought it up first, when he ate all of the ice cream without even offering me a bite.
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