I don't know how dark it is, but I've kept secret from pretty much everyone who the fathers of each of my sons actually are...

 

I don't know if it's dark, but my mom and I have shared 3 men now...but she has no idea I've been with them too....

 

Either my incestuous relationships, or the fact of who the father of my youngest child is...

 

I'm bi courious and would love to make love to a shemale with big boobs and a big dick

 

I've talked about it a bit in a group....but mine would be the long time sexual abuse from my father that resulted in two suicide attempts.

 

I suppose my darkest would be the night that led to my sobriety. Waking up naked, in a place I didn't remember going to, with a video labeled "watch me"....and seeing myself being used, passing out, and still being used by multiple guys....waking up somewhat from time to time and passing out again. ..I sat and cried as I watched what had become of me. I haven't had a drink since.

 

so sorry

 

That was then. This is an eyes wide open day.

 

Damn Lexa,glad you're still here with us.I've said to you before about keeping up the good work and you'll be alright, seems like you are. This is a really good thread ,it seemed like it got some people to get some shit out of their head and released some demons ,Just glad you're here to help.

 

swapping wives with a friend... grabbing him in the midst of bodies and stroking a few times to fulfill my bi desires

 

Black-out drinking was a predictable part of drinking for me and my actions while drunk were not known to me. Sometimes people I had been with would tell me some of the things I did the next day. A few times it was a judge who told me of my drunken escapades. Many were tame. More than most were sexual and too dark to be shared. Some were sexual and fun. One time, while I was in the Marine Corps, I was talked into dressing as a woman (with full make-up, padded bra, etc.) and going back to base and fooling around in the barracks. In time the Officer-of-the-day ran me down (I had been climbing into bed with various Marines and making believe I was a woman). When I woke up in the base brig and found out what I had done, I laughed myself almost sick. The laughter stopped when I was informed I was going to be court-martialed for homosexuality. Fortunately, a good colonel reviewed the incident and found I had not touched any Marine in a sexual way and I had been convinced to play the prank by two married woman.

Another harmless time was also while I was in the Marines. We had just returned from a very strenuous assignment, during which something I said really upset the Top Sergeant. When we were given base liberty (you can leave the ship but you can't leave the shipyard (base) Top told me I was on guard duty around a slop-chute (enlisted men's bar). After 20 minutes of walking around in circles I said Fuck This and too an offered drink. In time I was blind drunk and chasing skirts (military women who were in the bar). One Female Marine was a Sergeant. I hit on her too hard and she called me in for drinking on duty. Court martial resulted in 3 months in base (Camp LeJeune) brig and a reduction in rank.

My black-out drinking never brought me to the edge of suicide, I did that only when I was fully sober. Drinking helped to quiet the thoughts about why I should no longer live.

 

I shared my darkest in a group, and not really wanting to discuss it here. The next closest thing just happened, where I submitted to two guys I barely knew...

 

Everyone has a range of thoughts and emotions. It's natural to sometimes be depressed, just as it's natural to be happy, distraught, satisfied, hopeful, et cetera. I do not know, but I bet it's natural to at least think about suicide. Even in the sanest person, the mind will just go there to explore and then hopefully reject the thought, reject the action.

 

Thank you for sharing such a personal story, @Little_Lexa and I'm glad that you are doing better now. We all have our bad times and if we can just find a way to make it through it will usually get better.

 

I have so many, it's hard to pick one....

 

Not really a dark secret but as far as sex goes I would have been more open and honest rather than manipulative in order to get what I wanted.

 

Thanks JC. I still have my days though, nothing like it used to be. Depression is something I will never be able to get rid of and all I can do is manage it as best I can. I now have the very wonderful @Alison Wonderland to help me get through tougher days. She is my light.

 

QUOTE="Little_Lexa, post: 8345191, member: 1164385"]Thanks JC. I still have my days though, nothing like it used to be. Depression is something I will never be able to get rid of and all I can do is manage it as best I can. I now have the very wonderful @Alison Wonderland to help me get through tougher days. She is my light.[/QUOTE.Your very welcome Lexa,at least you have someone to turn to and help you through the tough times, that always helps. Just keep it up I know you can do it.Just look what you've made it through already and you've still got a whole lifetime ahead of you.Just stay strong you'll make it fine.Just remember the words to that old song, I get by with a little help from my friends.

 

And the next line is( i get high with a little help from my friends) That'll work too. HaHa!