I share an office with a guy at work and i beat off and shot it under the desk on his day off. I suspect it is still there because they have never changed the carpet.

The beating off had nothing to do with him, mind you. I just think it is funny.

 

I tore the tags off my mattres. But later I felt guilty and glued them back on.

 

LOL holy shit. seriously?

win.

 

threw a 2-liter bottle of soda out a car window at a bicyclist... (a very VERY long time ago)

 

Silly! You weren't the one who made her pregnant. That was your dad.

 

I was licking a girlfriend's pussy when she suddenly got her period. The nasty part is, I didn't even notice until I was finished.

 

ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

 

i jacked off in my sisterenlaws mac and cheese. then i watched her eat it. i know thats sick, but that girl is a royal bitch!!!
no regrets

 

Oh god that's nasty.

I kissed my friend's boyfriend.

 

hehe... uh...

well once me and my gf were kissing, and uh... haha, she asked me to lick her ass, now i dont know if any girl has gotten there ass eaten out, and dont get me wrong the response is worth it. but licking an ass isnt the best in my book, but it made her happy ( and very wet ) which made it all worth it

 

I ate a heaping tablespoon of wasabi... damn, my nose was on fire for a long time.

 

my old girl friend worked a toco bell one night she gave me a blow job at work and she spit it in the beens. not to long ago i rented out a spair room to this chick she turned out to be a real bitch so i used her tooth brush to scrach my ass hole and i pissed on it also lol

 

gotta love going and renting a movie to find out you need to rewind first..... lol

 

I would never attempt that... I hate wasabi.

 

I gave someone a blow job while they were talking on the phone.

 

I had a girl do that on my couch while I was on the phone with my bitch-in-law. She waited until I was talking before she did it, just to see if I'd lose concentration... which I barely held onto. Then, after hanging up, I proceeded to fuck her ass. :excited:

 

This is an easy one.

I worked at an adult video store back in the day and there were a ton of regular customers like all stores have....anyhow, there are those certain ones that'd rub me the wrong way. I mean some people would hand in sticky boxes or ones with lube hand-prints and shit...well...

Before work one day at home I whacked off and for some reason I put the used towel into my pocket and set off for work at ye olde video store.

Over the course of the night this one particular customer came in that I just couldn't stand. We had these lame-ass vending machines where if you put a quarter in them you'd get like a handfull of M&M's or cashews, etc.

Well the dude I hated loved the cashews and that was when the lightbulb went off.

I stealthily shoved my jizz towel from my pocket up into the cashew slot fully clogging it, hoping my nemesis would spend the $.25.

Sure enough he did and there we were, two other clerks and I watching this dude put the money in, place one hand under the slot where the food came out while the other turned the knob with the quater in it.

Nothing came out.

He looks up into the slot and sees the napkin and pulls it out along with all the cashews trapped inside it as well as some others that fell into his hand once it was unclogged.

This dude shakes out my jizzy napkin over his hand to get all the cashews that stuck inside the napkin and EATS them.

lol Yup, nastiest thing I've done.

I think.

 

I enjoy ass to mouth many think that is nasty, I love being spit on and called horrible names, I love being slapped if I gag on his cock.

 

i was like 15 and worked in a chili parlor anyway it was my last day there me and my buddies got better jobs so we pissed into the chili vat before we got off work and never said a word to the night shift boss.to this day irlmao.