my wife and i have been together for nealry 10 years, i am the 2nd guy guy she has been with, i have been with about 30 women, my wife is very bad at sex, the worst i have ever had, i dont know what to do to make it better, when we have sex she complains through out, tells me to hurry up and does not at all seem to be concerned with having a orgasm, we have had huge fights over me leaving because i just dont know how to handle this anymore, she would rather me jerk off then for us to have sex, she will promise all week then say no laugh and ask if im mad,what do i say to that, its getting to the point where i am trully considering suicide over our sex life and me feeling not at all like a man, we talk about this and she promises time and time again that she will change it will get better, but it doesnt, i just need some advise what can i do to get her to understand my needs and where i am coming from,what can i do to get her more in the mood, ive tried everything i can think of, i never thought i would have to join a porno forum for sex advise. please i need real help, not go kill your self or fuck her leave that bitch, its not that simple.

 

ive been married for 8 years and i can completely understand where your coming from. my wife was exactly the same way. weve started to resolve this issue a bit over the last year. she caught me looking at porn several times and i think it finally got through to her after hundreds of arguments over sex that she might lose me if things didnt change. dont get me wrong though, she wasnt the only one who had to change her ways. i had to make my fair share of sacrifice as well. we bought some of those better sex dvds you see in the back of magazines and i can honastly say they were well worth the cash. like you ive had around 30 partners and my wife only2 including myself. it maybe that your wife is intimidated by her lack of experience in comparison to yours. assure her that she is wonderful in bed even if she isnt. if she becomes more confident she will get better. good luck man, i know how you feel. if you need a friend to talk to about this pickle your in im hear to help, just PM

 

Okay, it doesn't take a professional counsellor to know that you're suffering emotionally from this. So I'm going to be as gentle as I can be.

Johnnie, you need to ask yourself some questions here, and be totally honest with yourself. The first - and biggest one is - do you love her? Really?

After that, ask yourself these questions too.

Does she make you feel unloved and unwanted, outside of bed, as well as in it?
Do you only fight about this, or other things too?
Does she play games with your emotions, and make you feel bad about yourself?
Is she verbally abusive towards you?
Does she say or do things that hurt you, and when you tell her so, dismiss it, or laugh at you?
Is she physically abusive towards you?
Does she seem to get more out of the relationship, than you do? (Either emotionally, financially, or in doing nothing, while you do everything?)
Does she take you for granted?
Does she say she's going out with her friends, and not invite you, more than once a week, leaving you alone, and not turning up until very late in the morning, without explanation?

If any of these seem familiar, you have a problem. And so does the woman you're with.

Under normal circumstances I'd suggest you talk it over with her. However, in this case, I'm not going to suggest that, because I think you've gone well beyond that point. At this juncture, I'd strongly suggest professional counselling for both of you, as well as a visit to a sex therapist, again, for both of you. For her, to see what damage has been done by her actions, and for you, to begin to regain your sexual self-confidence, and undo the damage done by her.

If she refuses to co-operate in any way with you, and acts abusively, then I would personally suggest you start looking for ways to get out of that relationship, as quickly as possible. Again, this isn't a joke. Whe someone is driven to feeling suicidal over someone elses actions, that's an extremely unhealthy environment to be in. So, try the options I suggested above - it might get through to her how serious you are about what she's doing, too - but if she won't work with you, then start looking for a new place to live.

I wish you nothing but happiness in your time ahead, and remember, you both need counselling and sex therapy, for different reasons. It's not a cure, but it's your best option.

And - I can't stress this strongly enough - if she refuses, attacks, belittles or humiliates you, for asking, start thinking of ways you can leave. Don't give her any more of your energy. Just start looking for the door.

Best of luck!

Bye for now - Fluffy McNoo.

 

i totally agree! youve hit the nail on the head.

 

thanks for the advise guys, i know it may not seem like much but it realy helps to read this stuff, im a wreck right now

 

Jez guy, ya pull the trigger and likely she'll develope all kinds of issues, start drinking, shack up with all kinds of men trying to rid the inner pain and after a few years with all the experience end up the best fuck in town. Makes more sense to just tell her that you need more fulfillment than you are getting, that you love her deeply and want more than life itself to work this out. Let her know how important it is to your relationship and how willing you are to "fix" this bump in your marriage. Do not give ultimatiums as she may get mad at first and pick whats behind door B. Get counselling, go to book stores, buy sex manuals, get some soft porn movies, even OJ's jurors lightend up after repeatedly seeing the same stuff over & over. Most importantly, eat that beav till yer wet clear back behind both ears, maybe you haven't found that trigger mechanism yet that gets the motor running (does she orgasm?). You got 10 years invested here, whats a little more effort.


If she refuses, tell her you don't understand, both her Mom and her Sister are great hardcore nasty fucks and she must be adopted. See where that goes.:mrgreen:

I agree with fluffy except it sounds like she has always been this way, which would not suggest she's cheating or controlling, just issues about sex.

 

I'm glad it's helping. Male or female, no-one should be an emotional wreck in a relationship, for whatever reason. No-one has the right to make you feel that way.

A relationships should be loving, nurturing, supportive, tolerant accepting, and fun. The two of you should grow together, and grow as individuals. There should be mutual appreciation, and mutual respect.

The fact you're in the state you're in, says a lot about how much you're not getting that right now. And that has to change. For both your sakes.

*warmly* thanks FL, I appreciate that.

Bye for now - Fluffy McNoo.

 

i don't understand women sometimes. i know i am one, but seriously, half the time i just think they think weird. if that makes sense.


why the hell would you marry a guy that you don't want to sleep with?! i'm engaged to a guy who, if i could i would, tie him to my bed and use him as my personal sex toy everyday. infact, if i end up being the working one, i just might do that... sorry Matt, half of the reason i'm with you is the fact that i'm addicted to your perfect cock.


and no, this doesn't make a girl a slut. i think it's healthy to want to have sex. what i think is unhealthy is the situation in the OT. there's either a personal reason within herself (that's turned her away from sex) or she's just not sexually attracted to you. and that sucks. not in the way you want it to...

 

First of all I would say that from the sound of things this isn't a problem at your end, assuming that you both love each other and that aside from this your relationship is strong it could just be that she has a very low sex drive and it has no appeal to her, and if she's not interested in it then she wouldn't put effort in and this would explain why you think she is so bad in bed.

I don't know anything of her personal history but if she was bought up in a religious family, or was otherwise given the idea from a young age that sex for pleasure was bad then she may (possibly unconciously) be carrying this idea forwards with her.

Whether it's relationship problems, her having a low sex drive or something from her past then I think the best course of action is the same, a sex therapist should be able to help you.

Tell her how you're feeling without being acusatory and suggest that it's something you thing would be helpful, as someone else suggested don't give ultimatums as she might be angry or upset by what you say.

If she doesn't want to cooperate then you have a bigger problem on your hands because she should atleast care about your feelings even if she doesn't care for sex.

I hope this helps and that you can sort things out,
Don't get too down, sex isn't (and I can't quite believe I'm saying this) the be all and end all of everything and all problems can be overcome.
Barbie xXx

 

If there are kids, get counseling. When counseling proves itself useless in this case, as I think it probably will (oh she might behave once in a while for a little bit but it won't be a permanent change), get a good divorce attorney.

If there are no kids, skip counseling and go straight to divorce. This chick is manipulative and emotionally abusive. It'll suck at first but it'll get better.

 

sex is not everything in a relationship but it is a big part! my husband never wants to have sex. he also has a 1 minuet problem. but thats not why he doesn't wanna have sex. you can only beg for sex for so long b4 you start hurting mentaly. its like begging for someone to just touch you and get human contact. and im not talking bout huggs from friends and stuff thats different. i know where your comming from and im sorry. it even got to the point where he thought that i was cheating on him and he still didn't change. good luck!!

 

Wait wait wait your 30 you have been with your wife for 10 years so your saying that you had 30 women at 20 then met your wife something does not add up

 

Depends on when he started having sex. Sounds like he did a lot of "hooking up" then decided to marry a woman that was on the complete opposite end of the sex spectrum from what he was used to.

 

I dont buy it even a little

 

maybe
just maybe

you should sort out your issues before getting married....

also calling her a bitch for being bad at sex, classy.

 

I didn't see him mention his age anywhere? Also my brother and his friends had a competition when they were in London to see who could sleep with 100 different women first, his best mate took credit at 23 years old (If he really did sleep with 100 I don't know, but you can bet it was close as they all shared a house so they had a good idea on each others numbers)!

To the OP, I think Fluffy really hit the nail on the head, your wife seems to be abusive (this can take many forms, not just slapping you around or shouting all the time), try the counseling and therapists and if they don't work you have some tough choices to make.

All I can add from personal experience is my fiancee was a virgin when we met and didn't have a high sex drive, soon after we started having sex her confidence went up and so did her sex drive, now she's got a high sex drive and is willing to try nearly everything (which works for me as I'm the same).

 

Let's say he started having sex at 16. That gives us four years. That's 48 months. Even if he only manage a new woman every month that gives him 18 months to spread around being single or longer relationships. It's easily doable.

*shrug*

 

yeah still dont buy it at all look at the way he goes off ive seen it before, hes lieing
you will not change my mind

yeah look around his age is in his profile if you care to look
also how dose this prove he is not lieing through his teeth to you simple it dosnt

 

Fox.....and others........

See here.

https://forum.xnxx.com/showthread.php?t=79349

 

I hadn't looked at his profile and you're right it doesn't prove he is being honest, but it doesn't prove he isn't either.

I tend to take people on face value until I find otherwise, after all if you want help (either from a porn forum or elsewhere) and then lie, the help you get isn't going to be useful to you.