I did search for this and found 4 or 5 threads but they where really about swinging rather than polyamory. So I would like to start a disscussion for anybody that would like information or would like to share experiences.

I am part of a mff poly relationship that has evolved over the years and we are very happy. We are also swingers and if you would like to include that as well it would be no problem, even though we do consider them separate lifestyles.

I dont mind if you think its wrong, though it would be interesting to me why you think that. If you practice either I would like to hear if it has worked out for you or not.

Ive been flamed for my lifestyle on here before and i dont mind opinions but maybe we could keep it a little more gentile than some threads tend to degenerate into

Both of these lifestyles takes tremendous amounts of trust, communication, and understanding. They arent for everybody, I understand that, but there are alot of misconceptions and maybe this thread will help some

 

I'm the 'me' in monogamy.

 

Sounds interesting but I haven't got involved in any thing like that because I haven't had the chance.

 

It's definitely something I have experimented with, and wouldn't mind trying again someday.

 

basically, my partner and i love each other far too much to share each other. i don't flame others who are part of that lifestyle, and i can understand to an extent why they chose to do it... but i never could.

i used to be interested in that sort of thing when i was younger, but now i'm in love i wouldn't go near the idea.

 

Good for you lynnopus, we need more open minded people in the world.
I think people are brainwashed from childhood into thinking they can only love one person at a time. There is no reason you can't love more than one person at a time. I have a girlfriend that I would have loved to make my second wife.

Most people don't love one parent or child more that the other so why not more that one spouse?

 

Live the life that suits you best and NEVER worry about the opinions of others, they don't live your life, you do. So you go girl!

 

Thank you fropple and irish, swan seems to be implying that the more you love one person the more impossible it is to have my kind of relationship. My love of of my partners is deep and abiding, and when we share our bodies outside of our family it in no way lessens that love.

I can understand when somebody thinks there is only so much love to go around and it MUST be spent all on one person, but its a bit sad at the same time, they are missing so much

 

very welcome lynnopus...myself, at the moment i have a bf, a master, and a lover...there are pluses and minuses to each of them and not everyone can keep it all straight and deal with all of the ramifications and emotions

 

So when you say your in a poly relationship of a mff does that mean you are legally married to these 2 women or that you chose to live a lifestyle with the two and are not married to both? also j/w do you have kids with these ladies?

 

i wasn't saying anything of the sort...

all i was saying was that in MY relationship, sharing isn't going to happen. i think it's possible for one person to be in love with more than one person, but i haven't exoerienced it myself, so i couldn't really comment.

basically, each to their own. my relationship with my partner works for us, and your relationship works for you... i wish the cattiness would stop on the forums about this sort of thing...


some people i know in real life (well... non computer life...) seem to equate polyamory with cheating. i don't agree... but i couldn't handle my partner being in love with someone else. it's just me. i think the biggest problems in your sort of lifestyle stem from when one person only says yes to make the other happy.

 

I wasnt bing catty at all, I respect you decision

 

I am one of the females. The male and the other female are legally married, and since in all of its wisdom the US does not LET me legally marry them, I can not.

We ARE how ever all pagan and I am handfasting to my guy in june. After that all 3 of us will have a triple handfasting, neither of which will be legal but will have all of the connotations, for us, that a legal marriage has.

And , yes, I would very much like to have a child by my man, but unfortunately he had a vasectomy many years ago. No other children in the family

 

lol i wasn't calling you catty, or implying that you were. i meant that i wish people would stop being catty about concensual polyamorous relationships that benefit those in it.

and i was referring to people i knew in real life who thought this way sorry.

 

whats handfasting?

 

My wife and I tried it with a female friend and it was a total disaster. YMMV

Eat shit.

I won't lol

Handfasting is when people do everything to get married including the ceremony, but skip the legal part--ie, skip the license. aka bullshit, let's pretend, etc

Eat shit.

 

what's wrong with those who are monogamous? (sp?)

people respect polyamory and it seems like some people would do well to respect monogamy.

 

Can anyone else say fail?

 

That was just directed at Porter. For no reason at all. Not even on topic, lol

 

look, no offense but if it's not on topic then what's the point in posting it?