My relationship with my GF is the same as your relationship.

We love each other. However, I wouldn't use the word "love" to describe why we don't share each other.

 

wouldnt you get mad if someone was bashing your opinions or beliefs,...its a shame that peoople get bashed for their beliefs in todays society,...we have come so far as a society as far as being open minded(yes it needs some work but its coming along) just because someone belives somethinghat you dont believe in then that doesnt mean that they should be shot down,...their belief should be accepted along with your beliefs,...your on the sexuality section of a forum, a place where people should be able to talk their sexuality openly and not get bashed for it,...if someone posts something that you dont believe in then you should reply on your beliefs in a civil manner and not shoot them down for it,...or you could keep your mouth shut all together,...its time that people open their minds and respect other peoples beliefs and grow up

(high school called,...they want their drama back)

 

thanks swan, i missunderstood

 

+1 ... i 100% agreed with your post, kudos to you man... but this is the best sentence i think i've ever heard:excited::excited::excited:

no problem, i hope you're happy in your relationship.

i had a few questions though, if you don't mind answering them...

the sex life... constant threesomes or more pairing off? this isn't a pervy question, i'm more interested in understanding your way of life... and like do you all work and share the chores, or is there a more stereotypical gender role feel to it?

 

""""Handfasting is when people do everything to get married including the ceremony, but skip the legal part--ie, skip the license. aka bullshit, let's pretend, etc"""" quote

Just let me say this. This one sentence is the worst thing anybody has said about me in the whole time i have been on xnxx. It is hurtful and mean

1) Handfasting predates any kind of christian ceremony by millenia
2) Handfasting can be just as legal as any other wedding ceremony
3) We are skipping the legal part because otherwise we stand the chance of being arrested(go figure)(THATS what should be called bullshit)
4) To call it a pretend wedding is beyond words. It is going to be one of the most important times of my young life, and hopefully a continuation of the most wonderful relationship I have ever have or hope to have.
5) We chose handfasting because it is a high pagan right that symbolizes and embodies our faith and worldview. It embraces ALL of our lifestyles with equanimity and compassion that other faiths fail to do

 

Well, I completely understand. I think just like you. Love != Sex. Relationships should be based in a lot more than just sex.

IMHO, girls, mostly, find hard to distinguish between love and passion... at least here; in México.

I, currently, have an open relationship with sexual freedom. I, the guy, haven't been rehearsing this freedom because I don't have that much need; I'm ok with one girl and would have another, eventually... when I get bored sexually.

Still, sex has nothing to do with love... if you look at your partner like more than a toy.

 

I don't know that I would seek out a polyamorous relationship on my own, but if I was with a girl who wanted to do that, to bring another girl into the relationship like that, and I was just as fond of her as I was of my girlfriend/wife, I'd consider it. Probably not with a guy though just because I couldn't be in love with another man. That's not to say she couldn't have another man if she wanted, but not in a long term relationship with me as well.

Still, the concept does intrigue me.

-S-

 

not sure if i agree with that. i've had sex with some people where it was fun and felt good, but sex with my partner is something different. it seems to be more intense, and goes beyond the simple physical act of intercourse.

 

Its interesting because non us where seeking a poly relationship either. Maybe thats why it has worked out so well for us. Since non of us had any expectations or agendas and it just kind of evolved into the current situation maybe that helped avoid some of the more common pitfalls of a poly marriage.

We have met quite a few poly groups since we started and it seems like they ALL are different in the way they handle things. Most ARE mff, it seems the most stabile.

 

I think a lot of it appeals to me because I like the idea of having choices. I got over feelings of jealousy a long time ago and as long as I had a partner who was honest with me, there's almost nothing I would deny her as long as she gives me the same latitude.

-S-

 

At one point (more than one point, actually LOL), I was wondering if I was polyamorous, or could be polyamorous. I still wonder, honestly. I know that I AM capable of loving more than one person at once, in a completely romantic sense of the word "love". I hope that I can tell the difference between love and lust, I think I can at least, and I have felt love (and lust!) for more than one person at the same time.

It was an odd feeling, to say the least. To feel like you're loving two or more people with "all your heart". At first, I thought I was being hypocritical, because how can you love multiple people completely and at the same time? I had to redefine what I meant by love, to myself if not to anyone else. Sadly, it was not a situation where both the objects of my affection shared my polyamory (one of the women did, actually going into a MMF relationship later I think, and she first told me what polyamory was and led me to learn about it), and I didn't want to cause any more strife than I had to. There were some bad feelings, which I regret, and I've been left for other guys. I've found a beautiful woman now, and we are engaged and very monogamous, but I can't say I don't miss that feeling of romantic love from more than just her. I guess you could say that I had to choose between monogamy and exploring, and I chose her.

I can see, lynnopus, why some people might take it badly. At first glance, it seems like cheating. But it seems to me that polyamorous people (real ones, not just swingers without the emotional connection) have just learned to increase their feelings, not redirecting but expanding. Right?

This makes sense, in a lot of ways. While a person completely without jealousy is rare, it seems that having a MMF relationship would lead to a lot of "possessive" feelings. I'm still of the belief that guys are hard-wired in certain ways that we have yet to defeat, and one of those is that territorial/mate thing. Not that we men can't overcome it...but I've seen studies on how almost all men seem to react to other guys in their "territory". MMF with guys who are not completely open would make it difficult.

This is the truest quote in the thread. LOL

 

I could handle my wife or girlfriend wanting to fuck another guy. It doesn't make sense for me to get angry about it when I'd also like to fuck another girl. As long as everyone is open and honest, fuck away, I say. It's just sex.

The reason I say I don't think I could do it in a polyamorous setting is because, as I understand it, the thing that differentiates the poly from the swinging is the love and emotional commitment to the other people in the group. I could not feel that way about another man. So while I could have a three-way with my girlfriend and another guy, I couldn't be in a relationship with her and another man.

-S-

 

In my opinion you are right on the money about the difference about swinging and poly. If one does both it should always be kept in mind to hinder any jealousy that may arise.

We obviously dont think or treat swinging as cheating since everybody knows whats going on even if we arent all playing together. We dont do many strangers as most people think swingers do. We just consider it being extra close to our friends

 

Let me work on getting at least one person to perform sexual acts with me, not multiple. ha

 

When I was 18 I met my new family and thought the same thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

My wife an i are up for it, the trouble is finding a female in our area that would go for a relationship like this

 

Actually I think that polyamory is reasonably common, in that I know more than a few people who enjoy open relationships. My wife has, at times, kept regular lovers with the full consent of everyone involved. We have talked about moving into a more communal situation, but have not found the right place.

We have some friends who joined with another couple in a relationship in which everyone is sexually available to everyone. While they love the arrangement, they have all had difficulty with their families/society in general. We spent one weekend with them and it was not difficult to see the draw- certainly it would never get boring.

I really commend you on being both open enough and brave enough to choose to be happy rather than be stuck to irrational social norms. It is difficult enough to find one life partner, more or less two, and I hope that you all have a long, happy life together.

 

I am currently the female in a mmf relationship and we are in the process of looking for another female.

Its my husband, myself obviously, & his boyfriend. His boyfriend is gay so there isnt a great deal of sexual attention (foreplay mostly) between he and I but I love him just the same. Obviously husband and I both are bisexual so we are ver versatile in our relationships.

 

It is interesting, I cam across it a few years back and should not be confused with swinging. THe dynamics of the relations are completely different from simply havng sex with other people. My understandnig is that there is mostly a proper emotional as well as physical connection between those involved and that it is accepting of same sex relations ( something I understand that swinging tends not to be as tolerant of )
My question for the group is how long do poly relationships last