This happens alot ,,people get married and one of them go's cold, some people clam love and sex is the same thing, than stop's short after marrage.. Now I love my wife but if she wasn't sharing that part of life with me, I would talk to her again and if she was still cold, I would have to find someone who wanted to be with me..love and sex is not the samething but I still need both..

 

This isn't so uncommon as you might think - I have a friend who discovered that his wife had major problems due to some sexual trauma. They are still together as in every other aspect they are well siuted and he is devoted to her - they just don't have sex. So have some compassion people - you don't know others people's stiuation......

 

You're right...it would mean I'd have to stop ordering those pizzas my husband doesn't know about.

 

"It's not delivery! It's DiGiorno! I swear!"

 

I gotta say, you people are mostly being pricks. The guy has a problem. A huge percentage of relationships end up with some kind of cheating (~%30). Stop being douchbags about it - he's not looking for judgement, he's asking a question, if you have nothing helpful to say, go read another post.

 

and me:lol:

 

He's asking for help to cheat on his wife. It's not being judgmental, it's thinking about the other person involved. Plus the kids. By cheating he's only delaying the inevitable.

 

I had a friend who cheated on her husband for the same reason. She got married thinking it would be kids all the things that marriage usually brings. It didn't, and the guy just wasn't into being intimate with her on any level. That included not sharing a bed, to not even inhabiting the same areas of the house. She cheated because she wanted to know what it was like to have that intimate contact, and it was after counseling and asking her husband over and over if he would be intimate and getting the same answer. In the end, it gave her the courage to move out and get a divorce because she really expected more from her marriage.

I'm not saying it's right, but it might put you in the right direction. Or it might be an outward expression of your true feelings. I STRONGLY advocate communicating your issues to your spouse first though. By no means cheat and cheat without discretion.

 

Personally, I don't understand how people can get married without doing a little experimenting. Not that sex is the most important thing in my marriage, but if you are swearing to only sleep with that person, wouldn't you just need to find out if it's going to work? We lived together for a couple of years before we tied the knot, and only really married to keep our parents happy. We are just about to celebrate our 25th anniversary, and sex is great! I have never cheated (unless you count a little online role play) and i'm 99% certain he hasn't.

 

That would be my take on this inquiry as well

 

Sounds more like he's looking to fix his marriage to me.

good for him.

Dude cheating sucks, but divorce is worse.

Cheating makes the betrayer feel better about themselves, but it destroys the life of the betrayed.

My best advice, dedicate an evening to her, make arrangements for all of the stresses in her life, take care of it before hand and treat her to a night entirely dedicated to her (and your marriage).

the best way to a womans sex drive is through her happiness.