At the expense of being ever so nooby, I have a relationship question.

Plain and simply, I've never broken up with a girl before and need advice as to what the best way to go about it is. I've been with this girl for a few years and I've realized that if we continue on in our relationship, we're both going to do something we'll regret so at the expense of our happiness, and more for the benefit of ourselves (At least that's what I see it as), I'm breaking up with her.

I just don't know how to go about it. I'm a nervous wreck and as it stands I already have problems with making her unhappy so breaking up with her is really hard for me to even comprehend how to do. Any advice would be appreciated...

 

By text...it's the modern way to do it. No more 'Dear John' letters, seeing their snotty faces or them begging you not to finish it. Simple, quick and easy!...

 

That's an asshole way out if you ask me. I'm doing it in person, that I do know. I'm doing this for the best of both of us, so I had better at least be a man about it and do it in person... Besides, I'd never do that on the sole basis of if you hit the wrong number or key when sending it, thus, it could lead to you thinking you broke up, but you really hadn't, at least not with her...

 

You could always tell her that you have realized that you are gay, or a zooaphile, or something like that.

I remember a movie, years ago, where a guy fell in love with a sheep, and left his wife for her. Maybe part of the Woody Alan movie " Everything You wanted To Know About Sex". He had the sheep in bed with him and the sheep was wearing a garter belt. Funny scene. Maybe you could rent a sheep, and introduce her to the new love of your life, just saying.

 

Well.. I'd much rather want to keep her as a friend at least if humanly possible Oldie And I kinda already am bi as well as have some zoophilia desires, so that could technically work, but the problem with that is I don't want her self confidence to be broken when she thinks she's the cause for it

 

Get her a ram and have a friendly four some.:excited::excited:. If your bi them you could switch off with her, in a friendly way.:rose:

 

Haha, if the sexual part wasn't the reason then i'd probably have suggested that to her by now. Now don't get me wrong, we've had sex, but that was like 3 times in the course of, geez I can't remember how long... Each time though I felt terrible because I always felt like I was pressuring her to despite her wanting it, and each time she said she felt guilty the morning after. Don't have a clue why though...

 

There's no good way to end a three-year relationship. This isn't going to be painless. You just have to say it.

But I'm curious...exactly what is this awful thing you're going to be compelled to do together if you DON'T break up? Rob a bank? Have sex?

 

Ahhh, okay, so it IS a sexual matter. If you're not sexually compatible, that's a pretty good reason to break it off. But if you don't want to go there with her directly, there's always the George Costanza "it's not you, it's me" technique.

 

Well... As I just said, she felt guilty any time after we did it, that's the reason I'm saying that's her regret. I mean, if you didn't regret it, why feel guilty at all about it? Me on the other hand, since I've basically tasted the fruit, I'm only gonna want it more and I'm trying to respect her wishes as best as I can, but I don't know how much longer it would be until I couldn't restrain myself and like, rape her or something. That's my awful thing.

The thing is, I've always felt that breaking up because of a sexual reason was, well dumb and showed signs of being shallow. That and the fact that if I use that reason at all, I have a feeling I'll just be seen as a perverted horny asshole who only thinks about sex by her, and anyone around her since i know she'll probably tell at least her family.

I did tell her that our sexual compatibilities were way off, but she said that that wasn't the case, that it was just that our compatibilities in views was off which was so hard not to start a stupid argument. But I restrained...

And that line I can't stand. Not to mention I'd never use it since in almost any relationship, the reason why you break up is because it's them. Otherwise, there's not really a need and I don't feel like using that line ever because it would feel like I'm lying, and I don't like to lie...

 

Divorce yourself from that idea immediately.

Otherwise, jump up and down and point at someone else's dick. She'll get the picture.

-S-

 

Well, if the reason your breaking up is that she doesn't enjoy sex enough, and you don't like to lie, there's your answer. And you ARE a perverted horny asshole who only thinks about sex.

 

Well.. I'd say she plenty enjoyed it... I mean, there are some obvious signs. It's just that her reasons for feeling guilty... And I may be a horny pervert, but by no means am I an asshole, and by no means do I want anyone thinking that I only want sex. I really don't, and if I did I would have broken up with her as soon as I realized I wasn't going to be getting it hardly ever. I would rather, despite stereotypes, want someone I can talk to than I would someone who would fuck me any time. I want an actual relationship, not a chance at some 'easy' girl's possible disease. (Not trying to insult there to anyone on here... )

 

be direct and honest. also, be gentle and apologize. tell her it's best that you both break up or else the relationship will not be fulfilling. don't be a jerk about it but be firm.

 

Just stop calling her. Don't answer her emails, texts, or phone messages. She will get the hint in a few days, weeks, months, or years. By the time she figures it out and opens the discussion of your status, you will be seeing soneone else. Make her responsible for any drama for not 'moving on' already. Lecture her about how you have grown as a person and yadda yadda, blah blah blah.

---- like they don't do that all the time ----

 

This is how girls turn into fledgling bunny-boilers.

"I won't be IGNORED, Dan! "

 

Well, if your only problem with her is that she has feelings of guilt after having sex, that's something you ought to be able to talk to her about. And if she WON'T talk to you freely, that's also a sound basis for a breakup. Don't tell her it's about sex, tell her it's about your inability to communicate openly with each other.

 

Dude... This thread is about to go on longer than your actual relationship. You sit her down, you do the "we have to talk" bit and tell her the relationship is not working for you anymore and that you want to end it. When it comes right down to it the specifics are irrelevant; you want out. For fucks sake, grow a pair, will ya.

You remind me of that old saying about condoms. If you're not man enough to go in the store and buy them, you're not man enough to use them. Following that, if you're not man enough to deal with your relationship as an adult, a man, perhaps you're not man enough to be in one to begin with.

-S-

 

This reminds me of a girl I fucked, she was part of some religion that didn't consent to sex before marriage. If thats the case you could always say that you couldn't be with her for religous reasons. She can't complain. She also has them

 

I shall never do that. I shall always keep it in my mind that me and an ex can still be just friends, even if it may be slightly awkward. And guess what, me and my ex-girl now decided we should just remain friends.

Personally, i plan on keeping that friendship going and I'm not going to dwell on things done or said in the past. So yeah, as of now I'm a single dude again, and I still managed to keep my friend at least.

And now, I put this obvious sock to rest until the next question pops up that I don't feel like asking on my other name