I woman who doesn't want to continue (i.e. a woman who is being raped) will say "no" in a way that leaves no room for misinterpretation.

 

..... not necessarily.
There are plenty of reasons they might not be quite as emphatic as they could be, imo a guy should be (nearly) totally certain they DO want it.

For instance, a younger woman ... 15 years old? Not very mature or 'street wise'. Her bf is older. She looks up to him, he soothes the strong social insecurities someone that age may have. She's a virgin. They're fooling around, end up fingering/wanking each other. He wants to have sex but she says no. He pressures her loads, telling her it'll be fine, everyone else is doing it, her friends will think she's frigid and stop liking her, or maybe his friends... maybe he got her pissed with the express intention of making it easier to convince her... eventually she gives in and just doesn't say anything, as he pushes his way into ... although she's too afraid to speak, he can see it in her eyes, but blocks it out. Fear, repulsion... the strongest association sex will have for her for the next 40 years.

Not rape?

Just one example, could give 100's of other situations ... sure, some women will make it perfectly clear but rape isn't necessarily the stranger in the dark ally. It could be the friend who's fancied you since high school... or even your husband.

well that's how I see it anyway... although I feel rather strongly on it

 

No means keep going.

Your designated safe word means no and stop.

Have fun and play safe

 

Only when it doesn't mean 'Yes!'

 

women say the exact opposite of what they mean....sometimes. :?

For example: if during sex she screams STOP!! She means don't stop. But if she is being violently raped and she screams STOP! she means stop. :neutral:

 

I had one girlfriend who always said "no" and tried to push me away .. if I'd actually stopped, she would have strangled me for not giving her the shagging she wanted. However, she'd been brought up that "good girls don't want sex" so she invariably tried to prevent it, even when she actually wanted it.

As mentioned above, though - I knew her, she knew me, and I was on safe ground. If it's a woman you don't know that well, and she's saying no ... you better take it as a no.

 

In my world "NO" means "NO!"

 

where i come from, no means no, except if she's told you before that she means yes, in which case you need a safeword. it doesn't matter what country you're from or how you've been brought up. if a girl says no and you don't stop, you're a rapist and a piece of shit.

i agree with anonomus. it's not always a stranger who can rape you. it's sometimes a boyfriend, a family member or your life partner.

and oweena: aren't you pretending to be a woman these days? rapist piece of shit, it's people like you that should have been aborted.

 

Sorry, even an ardent feminist like me doesn't think a man should be compelled to interpret the look in a girl's eyes as saying "no". I'm a firm believer in female empowerment, and while I agree that no is no, I have no problem with the requirement that a woman actually SAY no, in no uncertain terms, preferably with an exclamation point or two.

 

Hmmm As in "no, don't stop"? If someone tells me no, then I would stop on a dime because of the times that we live in. People just love to sue. No just isn't a word that I use very often so I guess when I do use it, I really mean it.

 

Thank you.

 

Take a deep breath, count to ten and then go up your medication. It doesn't seem to be taking the edge off anymore.

 

i've told you before: if you don't like me or my posts, ignore me. get off your high horse because it really is pathetic.

 

And that's what we call rape.

It is a fine line - always has been, always will be, until we close the inequality gap between men and women. I believe staunchly in female empowerment as well, but I recognize that there are some women/girls who aren't empowered. Is it not considered rape because they aren't able to say no? Or what about a woman that is mute? (I know you're not condoning this; I'm just using these examples to make a point).

 

Yep!

Ask a woman who has ever been raped this question and see what she says. Of course no means no.

If this question was asked in terms of BDSM then there is the safeword consideration if it's been worked out before but barring that no means no and is understood in almost every language on earth.

So there you go...my two cents...spend them wisely.

 

Special circumstances, for sure, Penny, and I agree on the point you're making. Remember, though, that what we're talking about is basically date rape, not forcible rape where there's no question regarding consent.

 

When I was a single, I always thought no meant no.
Later on, I found persistance can sometimes help turn a no into a yes. But, you can go over board with persistance and end up with a handful of thorns if you're not careful. I'm talking about asking a girl on a date, not potential rape situations.

 

If you are "in" its too late for "no",,rape? hardly.
Chicks so often speak in metamessages! This is the underlying message: `no means yes'. It does depend on the situation, that chick is fucked up Hed, as are a few dilettantes that have posted here.

 

Hmmm, a bit of thorny issue there Waf.

I agree that what the girl did me was pretty fucked up, but then the whole issue of rape is fraught with danger.

For example: if I ask some of the posters on here if rape, or to use a less emotive term, non consensual sex is wrong? then the answer would be a resounding yes. If I then qualify the question and ask if rape of a man by a woman is wrong? Then the answer could very well be different and in many people's eyes it is different. Some would even say that it is impossible.

I recounted in the past about waking up to find my ex wife riding my cock because I wouldn't fuck her any more while I was awake. That is, she had non consensual sex with me. I didn't want to fuck her, full stop, but she disrespected that. By most definitions I would say that is rape! Many people, however, find it hilarious!!! How many people consider the raping of a woman as something hilarious?

 

Unfortunately for both of us, I find your particular combination of arrogance and ignorance very difficult to ignore. You know, like a yappy little chihuahua.

Nomeansno is a band from Vancouver. They have been playing fucking amazing punk rock for 30 years. Highly recommended.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPyAii6f-hc&feature=related