sup everybody, im a 23 yr old guy that is in major trouble with my girl, we started bein sexually active recently (only oral, she's a virgin) and it takes me forever it seems to cum, if i do at all, she gets aggravated and tire out so i have to resort to stroking myself off in her mouth to finish. she currently feels uselesss and like a "trash can for your cum". she is NOT bad at it, not at all! matter of fact, she has been the best oral sex i've ever had i'll say. since she feels so bad about her not being able to finish me off with handjobs or blowjobs, i told her im gonna fix myself and were gonna get this straightened out, problem is, i dont know how to do so!?

before you answer lemme tell you about my past:

she is my 4th sexual partner and my previous 2 relationships had the same problem, i couldnt cum fast enough from oral or a handie, which also led to them feeling like shit and not able to satisfy me. but they were sorta lame at it anyway.

i really love my girl and she really does do me right, i just cant seem to cum, its amde me so self conscious and nervous when we get to sexual stuff as im sure its made her the same. when i get close i instinctively take my hand down and stroke myself off as fast as i can ( a bad habit i took up from my previous relationship, since it was a 3 year one).

i feel this is my fault because when i masterbate on my own it doesnt take me much effort to cum, i guess i know whats good for me, she seems to do it rough and chokes my dick with her hand lol. am i the problem? that accustomed myself to cumming from fast strokes? is it her and do i have to teach her how to stroke me off right? wtf can i do, i want her to feel better and believe me that she's great at it and have results to show for it.

thnaks for any advice you can give me.

 

You just need to sit and chat that easy. Talk about your likes and dislike. Show each other the things you like. Take time in having fun make foreplay a big part of the start so then you'll be bursting and she'll be dripping. You both need to feel commutable and it sounds like you know that. Just think how you can make it work for the both of you. Have you tried to watch porn with her?

 

Some guys take a long time during a BJ, and if she pauses and breaks the momentum, it's almost like starting from square one. Her jaw will get tired, but if you both focused (under pressure) to cum that can make it even harder, you both have to relax and enjoy it!!!
Why you're not having intercourse idk, but there is WAY more to sex than her sucking you off!!! It's a lot easier to suck a guy off if he's worked himself up inside you first!!!
It's suppose to be fun not a race.

 

yeah thats the thing, frequent stops, and it puts me back down to square one like you said, i dont suffer that problem on my own though. and why just oral? she a virgin, we tried to get it in there but it was too tight, even my middle finger hurt, so were taking that slow. we havent done anything sexual for a month now cuz i did a major fuck up lol:

on her bday, she went down on me, and as i was gonna cum, my bad habit took over and i started stroking, i stopped doing it for a second and i was RIGHT there, so i lost it completely, i even went soft. yeah, she cried and everything. couple times after that it was the same old story of me gettin close, stroking, cumming, her feelin that she cant finish me off and is just there to take my load.

so after that she's been only trying to give handjobs.

im seriously thinking if im the problem since the other girls before her, but then again i was never upfront with them and kinda encouraged that bad performance since i wouldnt hurt their feelings, just that this girl is upfront with everything, i think thats a good thing cuz itll make me fix this and improve the both of us, instead of being consent with how things are.

so yall say i should just speak with her what i like and dont like, and show her? i dunno, i might go see a doc or something

 

I'm hoping this girl is OLD ENOUGH!! So waiting for her to get looser isn't going to do anything!!! You're just going to have to work up to her taking you vaginally (in one session not weeks)!! Her first time won't be the best, but I'm sure she would rather do that than be you cum dumpster!!

I don't think a doctor will help you!! And if she's not getting any enjoyment out of it, then something different needs to be done!!!!

You both should have sexually explored your own bodies before sex!! If she is to tight for a finger, does she enough know how to make herself cum!!!

 

You could always try anal. :excited:

It leaves her virginity intact, if she is worried about that.

 

I have this same exact problem. I can't cum while receiving a blowjob or handjob. I thought I was the only one with this problem...

 

Quit thinking about it, before you get a BJ get yourself all worked up either by talking dirty to her or watching a porn, licking her delicious pussy....etc. Then get your BJ, by now you should be so fucking horny it should take no time..........If none of this works maybe you should try sucking dick!!!! hahahaha

 

No, it's not even that uncommon; I've been with a couple of guys that couldn't get off that way, and believe me, it's not because I was doing anything wrong. It just wasn't the right kind of stimulation for them. You should just tell her that lots of guys have trouble getting off that way, so she doesn't feel bad, and make sure she knows how very much you enjoy what she does. Your nervousness now is probably not helping, as well... as far as how she strokes you, you're probably going to have to help her, there. Actually, most men can't get me off with their hands either, and it's not because I have difficulty cumming, it's because their fingers are too rough. Perhaps you should put your hand over hers and show her, rather than telling her... hopefully this won't make her feel bad... I know that the sexually inexperienced can be very sensitive about it. I think that if you do it in a loving and sexy way, you should be alright. Good luck!

 

i cant cum like that, but all my girls gave me their tight little pussies

 

your actually right some of you, when ive ate her out and/or have been worked up it took me about 15 mins or so to get off.

thing is she naturally doesnt believe me when i say she's great at it thanks to this mess. i can either go with the "i just cant cum off bj or handjob" angle and explain its somethin guys out there are like or the "talk her thru it and show her what works for me" angle. ima try the 2nd one. whenever i finally get her down on me again that is

yes she does know how to make herself cum btw lol

 

I hear what your talking about me and my wife (girlfriend at the time) had the SAME problems, and she had the same issues. Here's the thing, don't put so much pressure on any of it, if you don't get off you don't get off. Slow down your personal masturbating, let it go for a while and if your like most men, she'll be able to get you off a lot easier, but it may still require your stroking it, so what though, she's participating and that's what's fun right? She doesn't have to do everything and shouldn't feel bad regardless.

Some other things you can try, hell just jerk yourself off with her there, she can touch you and take turns jerking you and talk to you as encouragement or whatever. You could also try rubbing on her to get the right pressure without having sex.

I don't know about most guys I guess but I rarely have gotten off strictly to my girl blowing me or giving me a handjob, she still does those things cause she likes doing it and I like feeling or watching it, it's just something fun to do but I find neither is enough pressure to finish, but its still a major turn on and if I have to finish, big deal. You also could do it yourself until your close, then let her take over, then she can get some satisfaction, and it's a good training exercise for her to know what feels good to you etc.

Sounds to me like both of you are putting too much stress on yourselves, slow down and enjoy it, tease each other, talk to each other about what turns you both on.

 

Have you tried lube strictly for a hj? I personally cannot get off to a girl that is just giving me a hj. I believe most of your problems are in your head and not in your parts. What do you find yourself thinking of when everything is happening? Try thinking of her and what she is actually doing while it is happening, or think about what she could do to you in a fantasy like way. Simply put, if you don't sell the idea to your brain, it won't send signals to the parts of your body that make this all work.

Also, have you guys explored other parts of the body besides just genital areas for stimulation? Parts like the ears and neck are extremely sensitive to the tongue. One of my best orgasms ever was when a girl was licking the inner parts of my ear (not the nasty ear canal part but the clean parts) while we were playing around, something that I was NOT expecting to feel so good. It was one of the most unique and awesome sensations I have ever felt.

 

This may seem trivial, but have you tried different positions while she is sucking? A different rotation of her head may hit your most sensitive parts. My ol lady bitches cuz I take too long to cum when she sucks me (so she hardly ever does it, unless she loses a bet.) But is because she wants to do it sideways, like me laying on my back and she sits next to me on the bed and goes down...I keep telling her that if she climbs up like 69 then the best part will rub against the rough texture of the roof of her mouth, or if she gets down between my legs her tongue will hit the sensitive spot on me...but she doesn't wanna do either of those, she wants to do it her way, then bitch cuz I don't like it much...So maybe try different angles like that, and find your most sensitive spot and which part of he rmouth you like the best for that spot...if you havn't already that is

 

If you feel stressed or anxious about or thinking to yourself "I've got to cum" then it just won't work, just keep yourself relaxed think of your girlfriend doing what she's doing best and hopefully it will happen in time, remember it's not a race take your time and possibly try some other simulation? Possibly try and let one thing to another and fuck her...

 

Trying to ensure that she is enjoying sex even more than you are, and feeling her response to your touch should do the trick. Concentrate on her and not on you.

 

Have her bite your dick! That always works for me.

 

There's a lot of good advice here. If she's not ready for vagonal or nal don't push, but it is true the more anxious you are, the hrder it is to cum. It is also true that a tew days abstinence from all sex, including masturbation , should help. Porn viewing together and extended foreplay should also have you closer to a cum before you begin, Try them all, in tandem. Good luck!

 

i LOVE switching positions when i suck him off!! not only is it good for him(i think!!) it's a ton of fun for me to!! i like it that it takes him a while to cum that way cause i get to tease and play with him for a while witch turns me on even more!!

 

good advice