I was once spider fucking my ex-girlfriend up the wall next to the bedroom door when i hear a knock on the door. It was my mother right on the other side of the door. I lost my boner immediately and sprung from the celing into my pants on the other side of the room.

 

Once had a girl start to vomit while giving me head.
It wasn't funny at the time, but we laugh every now and then.

 

That has happened to me once a long time ago - student days.

Me and my wife have broken a few beds in our time, usually on a cheap holiday, so far we have always laughed about it.

Thinskin

 

The worst thing to happen to me was I got caught by a ex gf's dad with her parked and us going at it, who happened to be a State cop on duty at the time and a very large ex marine. I thanked him for only kicking my ass.

 

Worst thing?

Being with a slightly larger lady one night, went to move from her riding me on the sofa to laying on the floor, i managed to stand whilst holding her still "in place", but as i went to lower us down to the carpet my dodgy knee gave way and i dropped her and she clipped her head off the coffee table...

It wasn't a huge fall, just a foot or two so i'm told, i was so drunk i never noticed and just carried on like a dog in heat apparently, she informed me the next afternoon via text message!

You are so full of crap, none of what you say is even slightly believable, lol.

 

Worst thing that ever happened to me was when I was fucking my gf in a hotel room at a party while all the other people were at the pool. I slipped out and slid back in kind of... I caught her pussy and tore it. I have a bad reaction to blood on my body and was drunk at the time... very traumatic for me and I didn't get any from her for a couple of weeks.

 

I was doing this girl in her ass, and she didn't like it! It was HORRIFYING for me :|

 

went out with this guy and we had sex a few times and it was all normal and even romantic. then we decided to kink it up some and he tied me up spread eagle on my stomach. he cut my hair as he was taking me from behind, i am talking from the middle of my back to just past my shoulders. he made sure i was gagged and he really got off from that. Lets just say it was over after that

 

I would do that to you! Except the whole hair cutting part, but I bet you looked fucking hot with short hair

 

somehow everything u say, i fall in love with u more. haha ok i am drunk but still i think im ur biggest fan!

 

Nope I am! You can be her second biggest fan

 

i can see we're gonna have to fight to the death!

 

Well not to the death of course! Lol
I would hate to have to murder you

 

haha ur a good kid 83

 

I don't consider myself a kid as I am more mature than most people my age

 

Actually, that was very hot.

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Anyways, I've had a couple sessions interrupted by loud farts and a couple interrupted by leg cramps. Not that huge of a deal, I guess.

Oh yeah, I think I popped a cyst on my wife's ovary one time. It was apparently excruciating and miserable for her, but it was not that bad for me.

 

now now boys, there is more than enough of me to go around, lol. You guys are great, know how to make a girl feel good

 

LOL, Yeah, those sleeve things that go on cocks for added stimulation, well they have an annoying habit of coming off and it happened the other day during anal....

 

This happened to me, apart from we were doing doggy.

I didn't say anything though as I didn't want to upset or embarrass her. I think she knew but I wasn't going to put her through shit (no pun intended) for it.

It's never happened again so..

 

I proposed!!!