+1 - I was that woman for a whole lot of years. Now, the kids are gone and I've rediscovered my sexual side. Unfortunately, his is dead and buried. So yes, I do sometimes get angry that I have to masturbate.

 

No, you fucking idiot.

No, they would not.

That's called 'life'. Get out you fucking fairy tale.

 

i know exactly what you mean. but i never resented having to masturbate, even during my marriage. i love her still, even with us getting a divorce. and i to was in the same boat because i wanted sex all the time, and she did not. now we are in a big discussion as to whether or not i am a sex addict(of all times, it takes her nearly 3 years to bring this subject up).

at least you are still married and not considering divorce....i would hope. just because she doesn't have as high a sex drive as you though doesnt mean you cant find ways to get her turned on. i know i did with my wife when we were together. take a board game and turn it into something sexual. example: monopoly...use clothing instead of money to pay things. scrabble: for every 20 points scored on a single word. shed an article of clothing.

 

i think you and the wife should have a chat.
get it out in the open....neither of you are wrong.
but you both need to understand how the other feels about it.

to you its probally just a way of releaving stress.
to her she probally see it as you not finding her satisfying.
two view points of the same thing.
so find the middle ground.

 

Nothing to say

I don't think everybody moves in the same way.



Everybody has his or her own way or preference.

 

My GF has to travel with work so there are often long periods of time where I have to take matters into my own hands. I enjoy masturbating though so it is all good.

Talk to her. Relationships need communication.

 

Marriage is a juggle of family life, a relationship with your husband and the very own things you need to make you feel good.

I hear everything you are saying Nicola and I have a family a little bigger than yours and plenty of business committments to match your study life. But I would never be with a man that sat back and used me as a slave to raise his family. I would kick his arse out of bed and give him lesson in washing machine 101! Whenever there is inequality in a relationship it is just like poison. Whether it be the physical drudgery or the amount of dollars spent on hobbies and pursuits etc it needs to be equal. This also goes for sexual satisfaction.

It's time to sit down and nut out what the deal is. You may find that you are going to have to start taking some responsibility for the day to day running of your household to get more sex. Just ask her.....what can i do to help you so I can make love to you at the end of the day? How about you ask her when she is feeling good what her ideal amount of sex is? Then you say what you would like. Meet somewhere in the middle. Tell her I will be masturbating on the days you aren't up for it.You are always welcome to join in. Say that you won't mind if she chooses a nice quick masturbation session instead of an hour long sex session because it just may make her feel good too. I have a personal theory about sex and orgasms....the more you get the more you want the better you feel.

Here is another idea....it is ok for you to masturbate for your own enjoyment without it having anything to do with being a replacement for sex with her. I have sex on tap but it will never be a replacement for just just laying back and enjoying some self pleasure. Give it to yourself without connecting it to her.

And lastly ladies.....sometimes you don't feel like BUT if he is any good just say yes even when you feel no.....you may find that you get into it after some hot foreplay.( I'm sure I will be shot down in flames for that one)

Torodon I have a real respect for the way in which you regard and speak about your wife. It shows real love and committment. I hope my rant helps a little.

 

Holy shit, I wouldn't need sex if I had a wife like this...I think I just creamed my jeans reading it. Anyway, sadly it seems just about the opposite, with me doing EVERYTHING and her working no more than 8 hour shift then sit on her ass and do nothing when she gets home. Now there was a time that she was working 2 jobs and going to school while I was unemployed. Well, she called it working 2 jobs and going to school...while technically, she did have 2 employers...I wouldn't call it 2 jobs. She worked 20-30 hours at 1 job, and then was a teacher assistant for one of her psycology professors which she totaled 10 hours a week...in which case I did most of that work for her as it was done mostly online from home...entering grades and what not. Now I was unemployed and she saw things as me sitting around the house doing nothing, cuz she saw the truck never moved. But she always came home to a spotless house and a hot meal that I somehow had time to do around hours of job searching. Now I did also spend a lot of time for myself like cleaning the garage and basement a lot, looking for stuff, etc, but it was still physical work that she had no appreciation for cuz it didn't affect her in any way...but she also had no appreciation for the clean house and food on the table either. I may have forgot to mention, no kids or anything. All I asked of her was to take care of the clean dishes in a timely manner cuz I hated putting them away for whatever reason...I think it was related to having OCD and the kitchen was so small there wasn't good places for everything and it drove me up the wall. And also that she takes care of her laundry instead of sitting it all on top of her dresser and not lay shit in her hands on every flat surface in the house between the garage and the office.

Anyway tables have turned somewhat, but then again, not really. Now I am working 2 jobs (and sadly making only about a quarter [if that] of the income I am used to) and STILL do everything I did before...while she works 1 job 40 hours a week and sleeps, and sits on her ass. Let me add in the process of moving, in which I have such wonderful friends that I do EVERYTHING for, I ended up moving mostly by myself. Moving the furniture around the house, hanging pics and crap, finding places for every thing fixing everything that is wrong with the house, fixing things that we just wanted to change. And I'm sure there is more I am not thinking of, but after this rambling, the point is, her sex drive is STILL the same she NEVER wants it, and when I do get it I end up deciding I don't really want it cuz she is not into it and just doing it to shut me up...she eventually gets into it, but then it's just about over, and back to normal.

Now I feel for you girls who do have to work so hard and do so much because there were days recently during the move in process that she was actually willing to put out and brought it up that I didn't have the energy to sit in my chair let alone try to enjoy sex. Anyway, I think I am setting myself up for disappointment in life...she is like this already...no kids, only 29 and been living together for 2 years, not even married yet...good news is maybe when we have kids, I will be too exhausted for sex ever, and she will finally be happy that I quit bugging her for some lovin'

 

Maybe you're not satisfying one of her needs. Maybe it's that lack of satisfaction that's inhibiting her sex drive. Try doing something special for her without the expectation of sex as a reward. It might bring you closer. I'm making a lot of assumptions here. Sorry if I'm off base.

 

I have a solution to your problem, that will take about five minutes.

1) State to this woman "if things don't change radically in bed and out of it, so that I feel like I have an active and mutually supportive partner in my life, then bye bye, so long and thanks for nothing".

She's doing nothing in bed, or out of it, by the sound of it. In other words, your relationship is all give (you) and all take (her). That's unfair on so many levels, it's unreal. So she needs to shape up, or ship out. Starting yesterday.

2) If after that month, she's made little or no effort to change, stick to your guns and get her the heck out of your life.

3) Do some looking around for a new partner. Be selective. Look beyond the pretty face, and nice body, and ask yourself "is she relationship material". If she's loving, giving, loves to play in bed, and willing to share and support you, hang on to her. If not, keep looking until you find one that is. There are plenty of women like that, out there.

Whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck, and hope you find in life what makes you happy.

Bye for now - Fluffy McNoo.

 

hugs

Part of being married is being their for your spouse even if you are tired. This means helping fix the house after work men or being their for your partners sexual desires. This goes for both partners.

 

That's total bullshit. Giving utterly to the other person sounds nice and romantic, but realistically is just going to lead to bitterness and bad feeling. Personally I really wouldn't want someone 'serving' me in bed just because 'I'm the man who makes the money', even if they don't want to. I think that'd be a fucking horrible feeling. In fact, I know it is.
As I've pointed out before, your xnxx personality is based on lies, so I have doubts you're even being honest about your life and views.

Are you really suggesting ditching his relationship just because he's not getting laid enough? Would you like to provide a guestimate of the percentage of married couples who have as active a sex life as they'd like?
And it sounds like a brilliant way of sorting out the problem too... guaranteed to get her to slap you and leave you? Were you being sarcastic? :S
If I was in a long term, committed relationship and my partner issued an incredibly rude and hurtful ultimatum without having tried to talk about the problem even ONCE I'd tell them to fuck off and never come back...


@ OP
talk to her,
and have a think about how important sex is to you... and remember, life's not perfect.

 

I believe I would resent it. I found online roleplaying very stimulating at times. Maybe you could try that. I would also go down the usual list of making her go to the doc,therapy,etc. Try cuddling with her but not trying to have sex with her for a week or two. If she has a cycle of being horny every couple of weeks then plan on no sleep that night and enjoy it. I have heard that quality is what is important, not quantity.

 

I am in the same situation, being the one with the constant urges. my husband is wonderful, but we are never quite on the same page sexually. Im more "open minded". I sometimes want to scream...not enough! That wouldn't do either of us any good, so my frustration leads me here and I take great pleasure in many of the stories I have read. Thanks to those who write!

 

I feel compelled to continue my answer on this thread. You see, some one has found a way to message me anonymously from another site, quoting my words and actions on this site.

Just because a man or woman may be having sexual issues, does not mean a marriage is over, by any means. A penis is not always necessary for making love. A marriage is more than the mattress mambo. It is real caring, sharing, working and compromising. My husband was my high school sweetheart in 1971. We are still together. I am not looking to cheat on him. I am not looking for another man, because honestly, I don't think there is another man out there who could fill his shoes.

For my stalker - show yourself. Stop hiding behind the anonymity and seek me out. You claim to know who I am and that you are someone from my past. Well guess what, you were no friend. Friends would never say to me the things you have.

 

There also many health conditions that can lead to loss of libido. I'd advise your wife to have her thyroid function checked out.

As for sex when there are kids and jobs etc., spontaneity is almost impossible, so the sex has to be planned and prepared for.

Doing the washing up occasionally also helps.

Thinskin

 

I have a guy friend whose girlfriend he tells me wants to do it all the time. i tell him thats good. He is actually the opposite and doesnt like having sex all the time. i told and i qoute myself, "What are you crazy!? Dude, my sex life is great but I am more sexually active than my girlfriend. I can go two to three times a day. Maybe we should switch?" He just laughs but he is going to have a talk about it to her that he doesn't want that much sex. Crazy huh? anyways you should look into mastering the sleep fetish and do your wife while she is sleeping. She might be into it just ask.

 

cool

 

You are just talking like a cum bucket with a hit for herself... Stupid bitch...

Nuff said...

Bullshit. Things change. You can have a fantastic sex life then things change over the years. Read Nicola Matthews post and stop talking crap.

The highlighted part of the bullshit you have posted makes me want to kick you in the balls. Hard.

Yeh, therapy...the cure all...

Fuckin' 'ell, can you lot not realise not everyone has a high sex drive... It doesn't make you a bad person!

 

My thoughts exactly.

People never seem to realise that life is hard. Relationships are hard. Fitting in the time to be as sexual with one's partner as much as pornography and society would have us believe is necessary is nigh-on impossible, and only serves to leave people with the sense of failed expectations.

Protip: this person is your husband or wife. You made a commitment to love them. I'm fairly certain - though this might be legal in Vegas - you were marrying an entire person, not merely a set of genitals and you got their chaperone too.

I'm going to spell this out for you fucking idiots who think porn is even remotely related to real life. I'm going to spell this out for those of you who are still ruled by their reptilian brain, and for those of you who apparently got to legal age without learning a thing about life.

Sex isn't everything. Not even close. If you need sex to make a relationship work, then your relationship is founded on hollow, vicarious pleasures, and is completely fucking worthless.

Every single one of you idiots harping on a la insanity6is6a6virtue make me want to bang your heads together. You don't know shit, trust me. You want to know how important sex is to love and marriage? Ask the 30-something woman who is a full-time housewife with obstreperous teenage children. Ask the woman going through the menopause, who's getting dryness, mood-swings, and hot flushes. Ask the man who'd getting erectile disfunction. Ask the professional couple who work too hard.

Ask the couple in their eighties who still hold hands everywhere they go. Ask them if sex is what their relationship is founded on.

Jesus Christ. Some of you make me sick.