Thank you very much for your insight umpire2.

I really hope it is "just" that! Many pregnancy books (and I read gazillions of them) say that men have problems adapting to the new situation. I just thought that this phase would pass faster.
Sometimes I get the impression that he's watching me. Not negatively, but more in a tender and affectionate way. Yet when I smile at him or approach him, his mood changes again. Almost as if he feels caught!?
I'm not willing to give up. He's the man of my dreams and I know that he loves me and our daughter with all his heart.

 

And yet, no one saw this. The extra work trying to get this promotion is more than enough to stress him out. Stress lowers the desire for sex in some guys, and is no reason to get all suspicious on him. Yes, you have needs but your husband might be stressing over his job as he is the sole bread winner of the family.

See if he acts different after he receives the promotion. And six pounds is nothing at all for you to worry about.

 

Of course sadly some men are preprogramed and look at mothers as damaged goods and no longer desirable. I have a friend at work like that I find it to be douchebag status. Personaly after my wife gave birth I found her more beautiful than ever.

 

im gunna have to say the stress is getting to him plus the new-ness of having a kid, and then the now wierd vibe between u two.. im only 21 and stress about work/money has been enough to keep me limp. but it sounds like your taking the right approach at it with the sexy outfits.. i say keep working at it.. done be like my gf and get pissed off.. u dont seem like that type tho.. and if he wont talk.. what i usualy do is say it how it is.. "hun listen i love you to death, we have to fix this, why arent we having sex.. lets hear it" i mean if he wont open up to gentle pushes at convo maybe being straight forward will do it.. good luck hope it works out

 

I'm married with 2 kids (only the youngest is mine) after the birth of our son my wife and I slowed way down and we still are not where we were I go to school and work nights so timing isn't really there

here is my advise: figure out when his day is usually slowest. ( don't wait for the weekend ) get a sitter and when he gets home be wearing little to nothing already having started on yourself when he walks through the door seeing you in such a state he will be interested.... find ways to let go of the parent stigma and make him see you as a truly sexual being..... make yourself a dirty little slut here and there so he can still see you as such.

 

Relax, like umpire said he's just getting adjusted to your new role as a mother. He's also trying to ready himself to be a good father.

If he seems uninterested in you, you are not to blame. When men seem distant, there's something going on with us. Talk to him and give him time. Its hard but pressure could only make the situation worse.

 

You probably don't want to hear this, but you should at least give it some consideration. There is a possibility that he has someone on the side. Maybe during the last part of pregnancy he got turned off by it and found someone else to have sex with and now continues.
I do hope I'm wrong, but it happens. Might be a good idea to call him when he's "working late" and make sure that is where actually is. Don't call his cell phone call the office number. Hew may have gotten involved with some one who won't let him out of it.
Like I said I hope this is not what is happening, but if it is you should know about it.

 

This sounds awful, but actually plausable. I can't believe he would lose all interest in sex with you over a pregnancy. Certainly try to find out - there may be a different explanation, but it seems so obvious - as soon as I read your initial statement.

It also sounds like you may need to bring in a marriage counselor to get to the bottom of things. If he is working on a promotion, he either has it now, or he is being exploited by his boss! If he is working on someone on the side you deserve to know, and if he is questioning his sexuality you need to know that too!

 

Its been said before - but I'll repeat it - sit down and talk to him

 

Can I ask if he saw you give birth? That's a bit traumatic for some guys.

 

I would guess that your husband:

-Is a little overwhelmed with the kid in the house.

-Is stressed about the responsibility of being the sole provider.

-Is banging somebody else.

If you gained a lot of weight during pregnancy or have a C section scar he may be repulsed by your body.

I'm going to assume you've attempted to discuss all this with him and either he is unwilling to talk about it or you find his answers unsatisfactory. I don't really know what to suggest as far as advice, it just sounds like there are more issues at play than just the lack of sex.

 

Shit guys, I don't think he would be completely turned off by her body. Even if she did gain some weight, if he loves her he would still want to make love. The real problem is most likely psychological. Especially if he saw her give birth. He may have some feelings of inadequacy. Seeing a baby coming out of that small hole then comparing that to the girth of his dick. This is somewhat likely. He may think if she could have that go through her vagina then how can I still satisfy her? Although this sounds perhaps ridiculous, I know many of my male friends have this same worry. Then there's the whole mom thing. Having a kid is very stressful and can be especially taxing on a couple's sex life if they are finding little they have little to no free time anymore. He may also view you as a mother figure now, as umpire said. A mom has responsibilities and obligations. She has a job to do. He may have formerly viewed her as his sexy partner. They did everything together. They spent alot of time flirting and being sexual. Now he may view her as just a mother. It's a lot harder to view someone as sexy when they change alot. And let's face it. Your lives have changed alot most likely, therefore you as a person have changed. Taking things back to the way they used to be may help. Act like you used to etc...

 

It's called being married.

 

I'm still waiting for a pic.

 

agreed,

but don't badger him right when he walks in....

The fist meeting after a break ie work..sets the mood for the evening.

He is no longer the center of your attention.

 

Start watching porn vids here and masturbate while doing so, and let him catch you,,,,that would turn me on and Id be on you like white on rice

 

if all else fails, try domination!

demand him, maybe demand things you wouldn't normally, get really kinky about what you are saying, if he complies and is a 'good boy' (considering your married I will assume he is no longer a boy) then you can reward him.

this is fishing, and I will break it down. be confident and demanding, speak clearly and maybe aggressively, make him know there could be punishment if he does not comply (maybe invest in some sort of spanking device, cane, whip or just use a wooden spoon). bait once he is hooked and in the moment, you are in control and tell him what to do make sure he pleasures you first, then once you are satisfied he is really up for it tell him how to fuck you.

ok I will admit this isn't for every body and I my self am not married.

I am engaged, and we do plan children, if what happened to your guy happens to me (or my future wife) I know if me or her done that to each other we would melt like butter in a microwave.

after that (if successful) he should be more likely to want to have sex from there after, it could be a one off or you can either keep it up and have a little play every now and then or maybe venture more into light bdsm (because bdsm aint for everyone)

hope that helps, if you wanna know more or any more advice pm me by all means

 

Sorry Snow, but it sounds like he's cheating on you.

 

Put your baby to bed. Step right in front of him and very slowly, strip... Lay on the floor and start masturbating and playing with your tits.... If that doesn't turn him on and get him fucking you, then he's probably getting some on the side.

 

Ohh you 2 need to sit down and talk. Communication is so important to any relationship and yours has had a big change in the last year. Don't be angry with him, don't accuse him of anything. Explain to him that you are a mother now but you are also a woman and you miss the days when he made you feel like a woman. The guys here are right he is seeing you as a mom. He just needs to be reminded you are a real woman now. My sister went through this and it gets better. It took my brother in law a while but now they have 2 more kids and they are happy.