Arvin, I think you should move on....I am 43 and my wife is 42. We have been married for 12 years. When we were dating and I would she her twice a week and we were only able to have sex on the weekends we would fuck 4 or 5 times from Friday til Sunday every weekend. If she was on her period she would still have to have it. Got married it slowed down, had kids we have sex once a month maybe.....I feel your pain. I could fuck every night but not her. As I have said before I think my wife was just wild enough to get me to marry her. Then the wild sex stopped.

 

maybe the sex bores her. or she's sick of having sex with the same person. therefore she doesn't get horny around you.

 

Another question is 'Why do I bother commenting or giving suggestions'?


I'd be better off saying things like "Oh, yeah! Get her to stand on her head and balance robin's eggs on the bottoms of her feet while whistling the "Battle Hymn of the Republic"---that is guaranteed to increase sexual interest but to keep it going, you must wear a rubber Donald Duck mask during intercourse"


THOSE are the kinds of suggestions that people go: "Really? Thanks for the great advice! I'll try it!"

 

I say exotic because the beverage is French (but non-alcoholic I believe). How well it works depends on application I guess... Had a buddy mix it with alcohol at partys and it drove chicks nuts. I bought some for myself and a lady friend after finding out what it was and it did a moderate job, though I will admit she had a larger sex drive than that of your lady. Its not a perfect plan, but if its worth it to you, why not try it. If you want I can get the name of the stuff for you.

 

Glory, Glory, Hallelujah!

 

Really? Thanks for the advice! I'll try it!

 

LOL! :lol:

Arvin, I think I can understand the way you are and girlfriend are with each other, because you sound like you share alot in common with me and my girlfriend.

Me and my girlfriend are a bit of a weird couple. On paper we really shouldnt even get along, but somehow it just works and we have been together for over 6 years and both concider this to be "it" even though we are both still young. We quite litraly are complete oposites though. Im a drummer in a metal band, who also loves punk music. Shes into pop and r&b. Im very liberal, shes a conservative, I love alternative fashion, shes totaly mainstream. The list goes on and on, but it also includes our sex lives. Ive got a far higher sex drive than she has. And after the initial "novelty" of the new relationship wore off she dropped off to a level that I was finding it hard to cope with.
Shes happy with once/twice a month, but I could quite litraly go all day. She thought I was joking when we first started having sex, because before I was even out of her I was asking if she wanted to do it again. I wasnt joking, but she cant do it more than once a day sadly
Still...like I said in my first post, regardless of this we talked it over and we have now got a ballance that keeps us both happy. So its all good.

Totaly random idea: You said you have tried the romantic thing with wine and food thats suposed to help. Have you tried massages? If it really is a stress related problem it might really help. Dont tell her the ulteria motive you have for doing it, but if one day when she gets back from work you suprised her with a total pampering session (maybe even start with food/wine then go onto this?) it could help relax her/get rid of her stress, and its pretty easy for hands to slip/wonder about after a while and from there its easy to go all the way. Or maybe even play it totaly straight, massage her and dont try anything but ask her to return the favour. Maybe after you got rid of all her stress getting her to rub her hands all over you and get you all oily might just spark her
Again when my girlfriend was going through a rough work patch and didnt want sex at all I tried this and it worked for me.

 

Yeah, it is funny how we fall for our opposites. You noticed right "yeh_darkness". I was an alternative "bad" boy (not really bad, but more "independent", rebel without a cause type) and she is a "princess".

Well, we did try weed yesterday and wow, it does work, dispells the inhibitions, relaxes the body and senses, the connection was incredible, I think we can make progress.
Massage is a good idea, too. I did a proper oily massage to her long time ago that turned into great sex spontaneously, but for now I was thinking about using some massaging lubricant that won't irritate vagina, so we can do a really sensual massage, without a break to wash hands between the relaxing and "sensual" part. We need to remain in the "erotic zone" all the time, now, or she starts using her mind and drifts from sexual feelings to the list of work to be done, etc. in an instant. Hmmm, I have to explore a bit more.

 

Nexcite

Ok so the name of that beverage is Nexcite, and its actually Swedish. It is non-alcoholic so if you really wanted to hide your motives, this plus a massage with maybe soft music may be relaxing enough to make her forget her stress at work and elsewhere. Glad to see you are making progress.

 

Thanks, we might try that, too. The ingredients seem to be cool - ginseng, guarana, popular herbs at the moment...

 

I had a childhood friend that had the same problem with the woman he dated!!she liked fooling around with him but she didnt liked sex itself and they barely had any sex life, maybe once every month and a half.he was in love with her and she loved him and they were really good together so it went on for over than 5 years, i and others told him that if she wont make an effort it will just never change, he was loyal to her (which is excellent) but he ended up frustrated and confused and throught that maybe something is wrong with him and maybe it is not her, after several years they eventually broke up (he left her as their communication was not good anymore), not just because of this but this was an important issue.what led he to decide eventually to leave her was that he finally after a long long time understood that a relationship is a two way road, give and take (like other said above), and she was just not interested in changing or taking few steps to satisfy his needs.From what you are saying, i truely believe that you love her and if youre communication with her is a good one, youll sit and talk a lot about things, share intimate things, you should gently bring this topic up again, with good communication i think you can solve or atleast improve youre situation.

 

Sooooooooooo you know how a woman is when she is cheating because you have been cheated on before, when you try and communicate your girlfriend doesn't want any part of it, and you 'know' your girlfriend is completely unflawed in her physical and psychological health. You must be batting 1,000 Arvin

All I hear is your longing for unbound sexuality, and an overtly passionate whore that is all yours from some dream world where perfection is around every turn. If what you want is a whore, go and find a whore. She will have slept around and could be carrying a few diseases. But there will be that free spirited little cock whore you require so dearly.

People are different and some just aren't so preoccupied by sex as you. Maybe you were a virgin until 25 and now are in the prime of your life. Jerk off every so often and get a more stressful job, then see what mood you are in afterwards.

 

Sex is an important part of the relationship so tell her how you feel and if all else fails it may be a deal breaker.

 

YOUR FUCKED AND I'D FIND A NEW GIRLFRIEND.

 

You don't have to be so sweet.

You got some things completely wrong. What I meant was that she is ok without sex, no need for therapy, the only problem is for the partner (at the moment - me). Having desire for more than once a month sex is not exactly extreme sex preoccupation, is it? Although I admit to have strong libido and vivid fantasy.
Anyway, some posts were helpful and I'm glad that I'm not alone with such a problem and am motivated to try some more options. She is aware of the problem, but can't really feel it, as I mentioned. At the moment things develop well, we'll see.

 

lol snap! Angry and rebelious yes, but far from bad.

You are lucky being able to try things like that. I used to smoke weed many years ago. Sadly though my girlfriends dad is a cop. I was given the choice by her of "the weed or me"...so yea, I dont smoke anymore.

Glad there has been some improvment for you though

 

Think twice before you marry her. If she has low sex drive now it will even be less after you are married. If you would be happy getting married to your best friend then it is alright. Just think about anything you do. I speak from experience on this matter.

 

My 2 cents:

I was informed by my older buddies when I was a young lad: Women don't want sex as the get older. They just lose their desire and having kids will speed that process. I didn't beleive it because every girl I asked said it wasn't true. It seems to me that that my freinds were accurate. I could just tell you the same story you've already heard. It is quite frustrating and takes alot of effort not to be bitter about it...

Keep up the good work. Maybe we'll find a solution.:excited:

 

What you meant is hard to perceive if you don't say what you mean. Now I am not psychic, or a marriage counselor for that matter but if your sex drives work differently focus on what exactly gets her juices flowing.

Your sex drive exists all the time, and your girlfriend has to work at it as you so eloquently mentioned Having her crave sex more frequently is a process that if successful will be worth the effort

 

From my own personal experience with the last girl I dated, lack of libido can be caused by many different factors, work, stress, school etc...

Do what other posters adivse, talk to her and seek out either help from a medical doctor or psychologist. Usually that fixes the problem, or at least can help.

If she is unwilling to try these then there is a 3rd option, leave her cause shes probably cheating on you. I found that shit out the hard way