Too much bread, Too much tea
Will work it off? I guess we'll see
Ate for days
Drank with craze
Gotta go - I have to pee!

 

Having a pee, yes that's good
Keep it away from your hood
But don't drink to excess
And cause such a mess
By producing a terrible flood.

 

It’s you blokes that go making a mess
Even with girls to impress
Had to scrub up my floor
With ammonia and more
From guys whose aim gives me stress

 

I'd do anything to make you happy
I'm just a considerate chappy
I won't need the loo
If I visit you
Cos I will be wearing a nappy.

 

:excited::excited::excited::excited::excited::excited::excited:
[good thing I spent some time over there so I know what a nappy is!]

Glad I met you on this thread
When you come, will you bring soda bread?
I'm so glad you are neat
Bet you'll lower the seat
So I don't fall in, drown, and get dead.

 

Not easy to rhyme diaper:excited:


How long can we keep up these rhymes

 

The baby was wearing a diaper
But I still needed something to wipe her
So with one hand I'll reach
For the bottle of bleach
So this smell doesn't get any riper

 

I sit corrected

 

No panties was trying to diet
Soda bread, toast it or fry it
But the truth that's emergin'
Just like a virgin
Really she's is dying to try it.

 

You know I’m not happy to diet
But my exercise plan, you should try it
I just fuck every day
Every possible way
‘Til once again all of my clothes fit

 

Inspired by all the damned “infomercials” on TV at this hour!

I don’t need this crap on TV
But you buy one and get one more free
So I took out a loan
And I picked up the phone
And I ordered not just one but three

So now I’ve got ShamWows and Space Bags
And a Snuggie that’s really a big rag
I shouldn’t have looked
And my goose is now cooked
On my credit card bill I will gag

 

Yeah adverts on telly are dull
Most of it oodles of bull
But all this poor spin
I can't take it in
My brain is decidedly full

 

My minds eye was greedily looking
At the image of nopanties fucking
I know it sounds corny
but it makes me so horny
I'm thinking of making a booking

(smutty ones are so much easier)

 

Cash only, handsome!
[Mom listens to country music from years ago, and this just reminded me of one of those songs. The lyrics (and I think it’s the title, too) are: “If you’ve got the money, honey, I’ve got the time”!]

I met a man in a strip joint
His logic, you see, made a point
He carried some ones
But the best tits and buns
With a fiver he’d always anoint

 

Which reminds me of an oldie posted in a different form on here


There was an old man from Gargrave
Who found a dead whore in a cave
He said it may sound disgusting
But she only needs dusting
And think of the money I'll save.

 

Eeeeeeewww!!!!!!!!!!!!

A frigid old biddy expired
When a violent fucking transpired
With her body accosted
Her pussy defrosted
But a corpse was not what he desired

 

Inspired by that last (boo-hoo) piece of soda bread I just finished:

I biked, I ran, I swam, and then
I did them, every one, again
Please explain to me
For I cannot see
How a one-pound loaf made me gain ten

 

Quality:laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing:


I understand how you feel pissed
Here's an opportunity not to be missed
You can eat mounds and mounds
And not put on the pounds
if you first eat a ripe tape worm cyst.

Apologies it advance.

 

:excited::excited::excited::excited::excited::excited::excited::excited::excited::excited::excited::excited::excited::excited:

[Never apologize for genius… even when it’s EVIL :twisted: genius!]

Can’t find the waist I once had
And my hips used to drive the boys mad
But I ate all that bread
And the hips turned to lead
Now I can’t seem to keep a good lad

 

I know that this may sound real bad
But if you want to keep a good lad
Wear no knickers or bra
Let him drive the car
And chain him when you leave the pad.